by Nora Cobb
I smile as prettily as I can. “I want to start on the top, not muck about on the bottom.”
His dark eyes flash. Dom isn’t stupid or I. He knows what I’m up to before I even play it. He knows he’ll keep meeting girls like me over and over again.
“Do you think you’re that good?” he asks.
I scoff. “I’m good enough to impress the right people. And I’m willing to work very hard to make a good impression.”
The glint is back in his eyes.
“I want to be on that list, Dom.”
Quick as silver mercury, Dom bends his knees and literally takes off. He hops up onto the stage in one leap, and when I muffle an alarmed scream, he smiles like the devil.
I back away.
He raises his hand and takes a handful of my hair, combing it through his fingers. His lips part as he boxes me in with his body, forcing me backward with each step. He keeps moving until I stumble. Then he catches my arm and pulls me against his hard body.
“My father taught me other things. He doesn’t take me camping, hiking, or whatever else you do with yours. My daddy doesn’t have the time to play… or be teased. He’s a powerful man, and my entire upbringing has been an education.” Dom leans in. His breath is on my lips. “High school girls like to play,” he whispers. “I don’t.”
My heart is pounding so hard, it feels like I’m going to crack a rib. Half of my brain screams that I’m in danger, but the other half is goading me to play along—to see how far I can get. I place my hand on his shoulders to steady myself and take a deep breath.
“I’m not playing,” I hold his cold gaze. “You think I’m a pretty blonde, so I must be dumb as rocks. You think your daddy’s tough, so mine is weak. My dad made wolves on Wall Street do his bidding while your father played and danced in Hollywood. I learned not to back down by watching him. I only want control so no one can mess with me.”
Dom wraps an arm around my waist. His body is burning up, and I feel his hard muscles pressing through my thin dress. His lips graze my ear, and I fear I’ve already lost control.
“You can’t just ask,” he whispers. “You’ve got to earn.”
“How do I do that?”
“Initiation. We all have to walk through fire. In two nights, I’ll find out how badly you really want it.”
Chapter Ten
I wait for two nights to pass, but it feels like two years. I’m on edge the entire time, wondering what will happen during the initiation. I decide not to tell Luna and Theo. It’s easy not to mention it. Theo’s on campus, and Luna’s in Palm Springs. I don’t have to explain where I’m going except to my dad.
He’s watching me without watching me as he looks at his phone. “Going out with your friends tonight?”
I hate lying. It’s even worse because Dad has given me a lot of trust that I’m still earning. It was like pushing a mountain across the continent to regain Dad’s trust again. Whatever happens tonight, it better be worth it. It better be worth me lying.
“Yeah,” I reply, throwing my phone into my purse. “We’re going to hang out and watch movies.”
“Vicki.” Dad places his hand on my shoulder. “I was scared I had lost my little girl, but you came back stronger, and I’m proud of you.”
My bottom lip trembles and I pull Dad into a hug, burying my face in his warm sweatshirt and inhaling his scent, which always reminds me of home.
Dad laughs. “Vicki, I’ll be here when you get back. Have fun. You deserve it.”
I deserve a kick in the butt for lying to him. This initiation better be worth it, and I better get more than just a dumb sponsorship to a club.
The parking lot is almost empty of cars on a Friday night. A few of the seniors in campus housing are allowed cars, but the laws for driving with a license when you’re under sixteen are so strict that the academy would rather not deal with it.
It’s easier for most kids to Uber if they need a ride. Slowly, I get out of my car, and as my eyes adjust to the light, I see Dom leaning against a silver Mercedes Off-Road. He watches me as I walk toward him. The nights aren’t cold, but I wish I had a jacket on. Not because I’m cold, but I could use a security blanket. It’s easier to be tough when you know what to expect.
“Hey.” I barely look at him as he hovers over me. “You ready?”
“Sure.” He walks around to the passenger door and opens it. “We’re taking my car.”
I glance inside as I get in. “Just us? No-one else?” That’s odd.
“No one else,” he repeats as he closes the passenger door.
My leg starts to shake, and I’ll be damned if I let him notice it. There’s a blanket in the back seat, so I grab it and throw it over my legs.
He frowns as he gets in. “Are you cold?”
I nod and act casual. “Where are we going?”
“There’s a private campsite near Sage Mountain,” he says. “It won’t take long to get there. Why don’t you switch on the radio?”
“You don’t want to talk?” I ask. The streetlight above the car illuminates his composed face. His eyes reflect the light, and it gives me the chills.
Dom glances over his shoulder as he backs the car out of the parking lot. “We can talk if you want.”
“So what happens during the initiation?” I ask.
The few streetlights illuminate the interior of the car. Dom’s jaw is working as he grips the wheel. At first, he doesn’t speak. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants to say, or he’s tamping down some harsh emotions.
I’m starting to regret my decision to do this thing. My knees are bouncing under the blanket, and I hate that my body won’t play along with my desire to be cool, aloof, and unemotional. The last thing I want is for any of these boys to think I’m scared of them.
Yet, I can’t shake the feeling in my gut. Something doesn’t seem right.
Finally, Dom speaks. “You should trust me, Vicki.”
“I would if you weren’t so flaky.”
He turns to look at me, taking his eyes off the road for a second. “What does that mean?”
“You’re like that Katy Perry song: hot and then cold. Yes and then no. You know how the rest goes” I squirm. You treat me nicely, and then you talk shit about me all in the same day. It’s hard to trust someone who’s that flakey. Why do you do that?”
Dom looks back at the road without saying if I’m right or wrong. Is he’s thinking about what I said? Does he not know how he sounds? Instead of responding, he yanks the ashtray open. Inside, there’s a blunt lying among some ashes. The classic gateway drug. I just sit and stare at it.
“You mind lighting that up?”
“Sure,” I mumble. He must know why I’m saying it.
I get it going and then hold it up to his lips. Dom doesn’t miss a beat as he inhales deeply. Squinting, he holds it and then grits his teeth, letting the smoke seep out of his mouth. I take a deep drag, and my knee stops shaking.
I turn on the radio to find a channel streaming downtempo, and let my seat back, so I can look at the night sky ahead of us as we drive along the mountain roads. The darkness is all-enveloping beyond the headlights. Anything can be out there, but I don’t mind. Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander through the fear of the unknown. It takes some effort to force the heightened feeling to stay in my body, but I hold out my hands and feel the energy vibrating around the edges of my fingertips.
***
There’s a green road sign to the left. Sage Mountain Overlook, and the campsite is coming up in a hundred feet. I take another drag, not caring what the club might have planned for me. Everything is nothing when I compare my current life to the year that I was an addict.
The car has no problem climbing the bumpy dirt road to the campsite. Dom flips on the high-beams, and the lights outline the trees on either side as if we’re passing through a tunnel. He stops in a clearing outlined by a grove of massive trees illuminated only by the headlights. I don’t know what I was expecting. It takes me a momen
t to realize that we’re completely alone. I tap out the blunt in the ashtray. We’d left alone, but I expected at least someone to meet us.
“We’re alone,” I say, voice softer than usual. Some damn good Cali weed.
He looks surprised—whether at my voice or what I said, I’ll never know—and looks out the window as if he’s checking for himself.
“You must trust me a little to come with me here,” he replies.
I shrug and smooth the blanket over my lap. If I hadn’t smoked, I might be freaking out now. Dom never did answer my question. I don’t know if I am still with Hyde or waiting for Jekyll.
He turns toward me. “You want me to apologize for being a jerk?”
“You were more than a jerk.”
He leans over, so he can look me in the eye. “Vicki, I got shit going on that you wouldn’t know how to deal with.”
I refuse to meet his gaze as I pick lint off the blanket. “You’d be surprised,” I mumble.
“You’re right.” He nods. “I shouldn’t think I’m special. I’m sorry I’m coming off the way I am.”
I relax slightly and muster a slight smile. “I can’t imagine you as a snowflake.”
Dom looks up at the moonroof, and I follow his gaze. There’s a field of stars spread across the night sky above our heads. I reach up as if I could touch one without leaving my seat. He lowers our seats, and I share the blanket with him. He takes my hand in his under the cover, and we watch the light show in the sky.
“You know what would really suck?” he asks.
“What?”
“An alien abduction.” He doesn’t laugh.
I shake my head as I watch the stars. “You are a flaky snowflake, I swear.” I turn on my side, so I can watch his face. “You should laugh more. Your whole face changes when you laugh.”
“Is that good?” He smiles. “I don’t want to look like a dork.” Dom reaches out when I giggle and touches my cheek. “You’re pretty when you laugh, but you’re always pretty.”
I stare into his eyes that are darker than the night except when they sparkle. His lips part and mine follow eagerly. I stare at his mouth and tilt my head as he edges closer.
Oh, that kiss. I didn’t realize how jaded I was until his mouth presses against my lips. Dom tastes good as his warm mouth covers mine. There is stubble on his chin that I never noticed before, but I can feel it now against my skin. He opens my mouth, and I moan in his as I begin to float. Dom kisses me like he knows me. Like he owns me. It’s hot, and it makes me needy. That kiss makes me trust him because we kiss like this is the way we do it all the time. Like we are familiar with each other because we understand each other.
I grab his head in my hands, and he reaches for me. I have no regrets that we waited, but I’m thankful that tonight we gave in. This kiss we waited for was going to happen no matter how much we wanted to resist each other.
I break away only because I have to breathe, but I don’t let go of him.
“You look sad,” I whisper, stroking his cheek.
“I’m not.” He moves away from me, and the action takes him out of my hands. He lies on his back, staring up at the sky but not talking.
Like I said. Hot and cold. Why does he keep doing this? Why does he pull back each time we get close? I start to pull away, but he reaches for my hand and holds it. It reassures me, and I feel peace, as if I’m floating. I start to giggle, and Dom looks over in my direction.
“What?” he asks.
“I’m just enjoying the prana, baby.” I giggle.
He frowns. I guess we don’t have the same sense of humor after all.
“You still want to get on that list?” His voice takes on a different tone.
My excitement is apparent before I answer the question. “Of course, I do.”
Dom moves away from me and opens the door, slipping out into the night. He opens the trunk and pulls out a bin.
I roll down the window. “You need any help?”
“Nope,” he calls back. “Just sit tight while I set up.”
A light comes on outside the car and then another. Dom sets up several lamps around the campsite. Slowly, the place becomes illuminated by heavy-duty camping lanterns. I hold myself in my arms. It looks romantic, but I’m not ready to go farther than a kiss.
He walks over to the passenger side door and opens it. I sit there, ignoring the hand he’s holding out toward me. His expression shows little emotion.
“Vicki, it’s time for your initiation.”
I sigh, disappointed and relieved at the same time. Now, who’s hot and cold? I hop out of the car, and Dom grabs the blanket off my seat. Stepping carefully along the path, I follow Dom to the center of a ring formed by the lanterns. On a tripod is an iPhone pointed at the center of the circle. The high-beams of the Mercedes are on, and it almost looks like noontime in the area where we are standing.
What the hell?
“What is this?” I turn to face him, and he’s pulling off his T-shirt.
“It’s the initiation.” He opens his belt. “You want the club to sponsor you, then I have to initiate you.”
I look back at the iPhone on the tripod and the bright lights illuminating the plaid blanket tossed on the ground. My body starts to reacts to the danger I’m in. My hands start to shake. I look at Dom with his chin tilted in the air, his gaze looking down his nose at me. He reaches for the fly on his pants.
“You shit!” I scream. “You rotten piece of shit!”
“You asked to be on the list, Vicki.” He says matter-of-factly as he stops unzipping. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To be in? To be successful?” He nods at the camera. “To be popular? Don’t you want to be popular?”
I glare at him, but I don’t answer. He takes a step closer, his frame blocking the light so that all I see is his silhouette—dark and inscrutable—in the floodlights. My whole body shakes as my mind retreats to a dark corner I never wanted to explore again.
“Come on, Vicki.” His voice hardens as his finger hooks under my chin, pulling my face up so that all I can see is his face hidden in the shadow. “Take off your clothes and let’s get this over with.”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” I wrench my face away from him but his hand reaches for me again.
My instincts take over and I slap his face before I take off running. I hear him call my name and maybe he’s chasing after me, maybe he isn’t. But I won’t stop running even though my chest is on fire. But I can’t stop, so I keep going as fast as I can run.
I stumble in the dark as I try to follow the path back to the road. I can’t see anything. It’s too dark, and the moonlight can’t penetrate the thick branches. I was wrong, so wrong. I thought nothing could be worse than that year, but I was so wrong. I did things for drugs that I promised myself I wouldn’t do again.
I stumble onto the ground, and I feel pain stab through my knee. The tears start before I can stop them, before I can tamp them down. I hear a car engine rumbling behind me, and I pull myself up fast. I turn left and feel a tree trunk I hold onto it and slide down to the ground as the powerful headlights light up the surrounding woods.
The rumbling of the car engine stops but the lights remain on. A car door slams, and the earth crunches beneath each footstep.
“Vicki!” Dom’s voice cuts through the night. “Where are you?”
He sounds close. Too close. I hold my breath and close my eyes. I don’t know how I’ll get home, but no way in hell am I getting in his car.
“Vicki!” Dom shouts again. “Quit playing around and come out! It’s not safe out there!”
I know that, asshole! I press myself as far as I can against the tree, silently praying that he’ll just leave. His footsteps are coming closer, and I hear the rustling of grass as he makes his way off the path. He’s getting closer and closer.
“Vicki!” He says again. “I know you’re out here.”
Shit! He sounds like he’s right on the other side of the tree. Can I even make it? Whe
re could I even go? How will I find my way back to my car?
A million other questions race through my head, but none of them matters when I feel Dom’s hand on my wrist.
I jump up and he yanks me close to him.
“Dammit, Vicki! There are mountain lions in the woods.”
“You’re worse, you mother fucker!” I wrench myself free but this time, he’s prepared. He grabs me again and as hard as I try, he’s just too strong.
In the struggle, I lose my footing yet again and fall forward, bringing him down with me. The weight of his body crushes against me. I squirm underneath and manage to free an elbow. With all the strength I can muster, I try to elbow where I thought his head is. But unable to see him, all I hit is the night air.