by Hagen, Casey
Until then, though, my squad wanted to get a peek at the reproduction junction.
“Are you sure he’s not here?” Marcella asked in a hushed whisper.
“Positive. He and Hawk went into Payson to meet a pilot friend for lunch.”
“So he gave you a key, huh? You gonna tell us what’s up between you two?” Liz said, giving me a nudge.
“A long history, started as kids, they totally belong together,” Soraya said, rolling her eyes at me.
“And not a word of it leaves this circle. Understood?” Soraya had been up my ass every time we had a couple minutes alone. I swear her new greeting was, “Did you do it yet?”
We did it before we even came here; you’d think it would count for something.
They all hovered around me, their nervous excitement bubbling over until they were practically on top of me to get through to see the room.
I blew the wisp of hair off my sweaty forehead as I pushed the door open and flicked on the light. “Guys, focus. We have an hour.”
“Look at that bed, dayummm,” Beau said with his southern drawl.
Falcon had called the office and told them not to bother servicing the room. He said he wasn’t feeling well and needed the rest, but you couldn’t tell looking at it. The plush bedding had been pulled tight and tucked in with even, straight corners. Fluffed pillows lay at the head propped at a forty-five-degree angle in two rows of three.
I smiled. He may not be active in the military anymore, but the lessons—they’d become a part of him.
Ariel ran her fingers over the metal and gave one of the heavy loops a firm yank. “I want one, but I should probably get the man first.”
“Or get the bed and borrow a man here and there when you’re interested,” Jocy offered with a shrug. “Sometimes it’s nice not having a man in your bed, like, literally all the other times besides for this.”
“Somewhere in here is the gift basket and it’s freaking Falcon out big-time,” I said, looking behind the plush chairs in the corners of the room.
Marcella opened and closed drawers. “What’s he got against a little kink anyway?”
“He says if you need this shit, you’re not doing it right,” I said over my shoulder as I pulled back the curtain.
“Sucks to be you…damn,” she muttered.
“I don’t know, Falcon doesn’t look like the kind of guy who needs props,” Liz said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Nice try, but my lips are sealed,” I said.
“Jackpot!” Beau said from where he stood half in and half out of the closet. “He even threw the robe on top to try to hide it, but, well—I don’t know how to put it, but there’s a…” He tilted his head and read the packaging. “Soraya 2 peeking out from the top.”
“A what?” Soraya said, whipping around.
“Ha! You’re a sex toy,” Jocy said, snatching the device out of the basket. “Ooooh, it’s pretty too!”
“Oh my God…look at this, Emory. It’s in your logo colors. Gold and teal. You could make this your thing…every couple gets a free Soraya 2,” Soraya squealed. “Gives new meaning to the whole silent partner thing, doesn’t it?”
I laughed. “Cute idea. I appreciate your enthusiasm and willingness to think outside the box, but I’m going to have to give you a hard no.”
“You’re starting to sound like Falcon,” Soraya muttered with a frown.
“Bite your tongue,” I warned.
“My God, it’s huge,” Jocy said, pulling a huge life-like dildo out of the basket next. With a push of the button on the base, it vibrated to life in her hands. “They thought of everything. The batteries are already in.”
Ariel peered in the basket. “This is some awesome shit. Wow.”
“Poor Falcon. Probably thought this stuff was looking at him while he slept,” Marcella said with a smirk. “It’s a lot of pressure.”
Beau nodded. “I have sympathy for the guy. I don’t think I could stay in this room either. At least, not without some company.” He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis.
“Really…why?” I asked.
He shrugged, flipped open a tube of flavored lube, and sniffed. “It’s different for guys. How much can we do with this stuff on our own? But women, well, the possibilities are endless.”
Soraya gestured to him, a double dong clutched in her hand. “Hey, you guys have holes too.” The silicone bounced with her every word.
Jocy gave Soraya a wide berth as she stepped past so she didn’t get smacked.
He smirked down at the girthy double dong definitely made for more experienced—um, holes. “Yeah, but not everybody is so keen on exploring them.” Beau held up a dildo connected to a face strap. “Doesn’t it make you wonder how people take this seriously? I mean, look at it,” he said, flicking the tip.
“Let’s try it on,” Marcella said, grabbing the buckle, unfastening it, and dragging it over Beau’s head before he could back away.
“Woot woot…I found the sex swing. I knew there had to be one,” Liz said, dragging the leather out of a drawer under the bed. “There’s a whole dresser full of stuff under there. Chains with hooks that attach to those loops. Whips, crops, feathers, you name it; if it’s able to be disinfected, it’s under there.”
Jocy’s forehead wrinkled as she cringed. “Eww, not going to lie, I’m glad it’s a brand-new room.”
Ariel tilted her head and smirked. “Or is it?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, you think maybe Dustin and Sierra tested out the goods at some point?” Ariel suggested.
“What—no way!” Liz said.
“You know, it’s possible,” Soraya added.
“I don’t know; have you seen the way they look at each other when no one’s looking?” Ariel pointed out.
“They’ve even got a remote control clit stimulator in here,” Marcella said after fastening Beau’s buckle and plunging her greedy little hands right back into the basket.
“Spend your night in the boom-boom-play-with-my-hoochie room…” Beau began, the chin dick bouncing as he talked.
“Someone needs to get a picture of this,” Marcella said, sputtering out a laugh.
“And the next day, after you’ve spent the night satisfying your new bride, or groom, with your rugged prowess, take a well-earned break without missing a beat with the help of your right-hand man for the plane ride to paradise,” Beau said with the same reverence reserved for prayer, rapture, or unveiling the first pumpkin spice of the season. “The minute the seat belt sign goes off, hit this handy button and watch her try not to put on a bump and grind show in coach. She’ll be so out of her mind she’ll be chewing on the emergency instructions to keep from crying out in sheer bliss.”
Collapsing onto the bed, we all dissolved into a puddle of hysterical laughter. Full-on belly laughs, tears streaking down our cheeks, and Beau’s dong jutting from his chin bobbling with the happy sounds filling the room.
“You know they probably did it here,” Jocy said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Who did it, Dustin and Sierra?” Ariel said, sitting up and snagging a set of butt plugs from the basket at the foot of the bed.
“No, Falcon and Emory,” Jocy said.
Ariel, Liz, Jocy, Marcella, Beau, and Soraya’s eyes all swung in my direction. Even Beau’s chin dong looked at me.
“We didn’t do it here so stop it,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Not for lack of wanting to…at least on my part, but with his puncture wounds and all, and the way this room gave him heart palpitations, it didn’t seem like the time.
Besides, I was getting a hell of a lot of enjoyment out of just spending the night curled up next to him with his arms around me, his fingers skimming over my hair, and his lips kissing my shoulders every chance he got.
“You know what we should do? We should do a little decorating for Falcon. Get him all broken in,” Marcella suggested.
I slowly lifted my gaze and grinned. “That�
��s a great idea.”
“Make sure you get pictures of his reaction,” Soraya said.
“You got it, but before we decorate…a selfie to commemorate the occasion.”
Everyone squeezed into the center of the bed. I stayed to the front of the group, got the camera ready. As I snapped the picture, Marcella turned her head and bit down on the dong bouncing off Beau’s face.
One more night and I’d be heading home, wondering if I’d done enough, been enough for Dustin and Sierra to consider my services for their business model.
While I had a whole lot riding on the opportunity, what hit me right in the heart was how much I’d miss these people. Their laughter. For the first time in my career, I made friends in the industry. Real friends.
Something Vera couldn’t take away from me.
* * *
For two peaceful nights, she curled right up next to me and let me hold her all night.
I wanted three.
Four.
Five.
I wanted them all.
Not that I knew how to make it happen. Shit beginnings and a lifetime of nightmare relationship examples, I didn’t exactly know how to navigate this new direction.
Add to the mess, Hawk set his sights on her first, and the deeper I got without coming clean, the harder it was to do. What was my endgame here anyway? It’s not like I could get what I want without telling him.
At some point, it’d be pretty damn hard to hide a wedding band and kids.
I froze, my heartbeat thudding thick and heavy in my ears.
Family was the one thing I couldn’t trust.
I glanced at Hawk behind the wheel and acted like I was listening to rambling about Cory and not having the heart attack brewing in my chest.
I forced my shoulders to relax. No one was talking about marriage.
Yet.
I was damn lucky she even agreed to staying in my room considering I’d dragged my feet long enough. I never thought she would open herself to me the way she did. And now that she had, guilt ate a crater through my stomach, and with no more flesh to obliterate, it started gnawing at my bones.
With every day, every moment with her heart beating against mine, I crawled into hope a little deeper. So deep I started to second-guess my whole “the past is the past argument.”
Fire burned in her. Not the kind incinerating everything it touched…but a consistent flame, with a familiar crackle and unwavering warmth. Operating with an endless sense of responsibility and honesty, she owned her mistakes. She took pride in her work.
She dropped the truth at your feet, even if she knew it would hurt. Like what she said about my mom.
Damn.
I didn’t know how to be like her. I tried. But dredging up my feelings was like trying to pluck a giant sequoia from the ground with a Tonka truck.
Spending years watching what my family did to me took a toll and Emory had tons of questions. She never asked, but I could see them in her eyes every time I arrived at their door sporting the marks of another blow or ten from my father.
Eventually, as she got older, wiser, her confusion and curiosity turned to helpless anger.
I did that to her all while holding everything in and refusing to utter a single word.
She saw me. She saw more than anyone.
And still, there were shadows even her light hadn’t been able to penetrate.
But even now, I tried. I gravitated toward her when I shouldn’t, and in the past couple days, I watched her light up the room.
Sore as fuck, but needing to see her in action, I ventured out. At the barn party the night before, she brought an idea jar and fancy paper in the same colors as the logo for The Hideaway on Sunflower Hill for the rest of the planners to offer up suggestions, ideas, and well wishes to Dustin and Sierra.
She didn’t stop there. She worked the room until she’d made sure everyone participated.
Hell, I even saw Hawk offering up three slips of his own.
That’s what she did…she pulled you in and by the time you realized it happened, it was too damn late to save yourself.
Exactly what she was doing to me at this very moment.
“What the hell happened to you anyway? I know I’ve been otherwise occupied, but you’ve been a ghost,” Hawk said.
“I did a dance with a cactus, and apparently I have two left feet and he had a lifetime of training from the Arthur Murray school of fucking dance.”
“Who got them out for you? Marcella I bet…you’ve got a thing going with Marcella?”
“No.”
“So who?”
“Who what?”
Tell him. Just fucking tell him.
He’d pull over, we would have it out. Then it would be done. We might miss lunch, but I could finally kick this fucking sense of dread growing in me.
“Sierra took care of it,” I lied.
I wanted to kick my own ass at this point.
“Oh—well, she’s nice, but married so, yeah, how was it?”
I swung a glance in his direction. “How was it getting hundreds, maybe thousands of thorns over a half-inch deep pulled from my skin? That’s your question?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m asking.”
“It was fucking great, man. The best.”
Hawk smacked the steering wheel and shook his head and let out a lame laugh. “Sorry, I—something feels off and I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. Maybe I’m spending too much time with this chick. I thought you and I would do some hiking, exploring, and maybe in our down time I’d get a chance with Emor—well, you know that ship sailed. Neither of us were feeling it anymore, and then Cory shows up all hot and bossy and the week got away from me.”
Tell him.
“Don’t sweat it. It’s our last night. If you’re having fun with her, don’t waste your last opportunity.”
So, that was not telling him, you fucking moron.
“You think so? She’s bossy as all get out and I thought that said something about me since I rolled with it, but I’ve got to be honest. I’m kind of enjoying the whole rolling with it. The chick is a freak too…the toys she brought. Wow. Just wow.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t need the details of how she’s tickling your taint with—well, whatever the hell she brought with her. There is such a thing as getting to know someone too well. We’re there, guy. We’re there.”
Hawk laughed as he turned into the parking lot of Buffalo Bar & Grill.
And the fourth, fifth, sixth, who knows maybe even tenth opportunity to tell the truth slid away, and I shoved one more blade in my friend’s back with my silence.
24
Dustin and Sierra outdid themselves and turned the clearing on the edge of the sunflower field into a full-blown party complete with a mountain of food, music, and endless cold drinks.
Wagons full of hay had been hauled in, and already, guests grabbed spots on the tailgates, chatting, their feet swinging to the music pumping in the background. String lights crisscrossed overhead, ready to be turned on when the sun started its slide into the horizon.
Four grills and a smoker so big they’d hauled it in with a pickup promised to keep bellies full the entire night. Sheet metal tubs full of ice kept beer, wine, soda, juice, and water cold, giving the whole setup a supersized backyard family barbecue vibe.
Now, if all weddings were like this, I’d be in.
It reminded me of summer nights at Ethan and Emory’s. When the Brooks’ would invite a few of their friends and deck out the backyard with tiki torches and string lights of their own. Mr. Brooks would turn his speakers toward the screen of the sliding glass door and set a playlist of their favorites on repeat. While the adults grilled and socialized, the kids stole Hershey’s from the s’mores stash…but Mrs. Brooks never minded. She planned for it every single time.
I walked in on her once as she pulled the secondary stash from behind the garbage bags in the pantry. She held her finger up against her lips with a
quiet, “Shhhh,” and her trick became our little secret.
With one scan of the crowd I found Emory sitting on the back of the wagon parked right next to the sunflower field.
She threw her head back, laughter lighting her from the inside out. Soraya, Marcella, Liz, Jocy, Ariel, and Beau laughed with her, all in their own way, leaning toward her, resting against her, and Soraya tipping her head until it lay propped against Emory’s.
Like gravity.
With a beer in her hand, her hair in a loose braid dangling over her shoulder, cowboy boots kicking with the beat, and those rosy cheeks, the down-to-earth girl he’d known for so long became the center of their orbit. The same way she’d become the center of his all those years ago.
As for Emory, she didn’t even notice. Not a single bit of ego clung to her, only contentment and peace.
I wanted to be the one putting that look on her face.
She caught my eye and bit her lip even as she gave me a sweet, soft smile.
“Are you going to screw this up?” Graham said, stepping up next to me and handing me a beer.
I took the bottle but never took my eyes off her. “Without a doubt.”
He sighed next to me, the sound of a man resigned to doing some cleanup in the near future.
He was probably right, because it couldn’t be this easy.
I still had secrets.
I still had a friendship—a partnership standing between what I had behind closed doors and what I wanted.
But I had tonight.
He scrubbed a hand down his tired face. “Am I going to have to kick your ass?”
“I’ve got a talent for fucking up everything I touch, so yeah, I’ll need someone to do it.”
“Are you going to fuck it up tonight?”
“Don’t know. I hope not.”
“Good, because I’ve been stuck under a mountain of bullshit. I’d rather spend tonight buried in my wife, thank you very much.”
I let out a gruff laugh. “I’ll do my best.”
Emory’s crew hopped off the tailgate. Beau crossed over to Dustin and asked him something that had Dustin pointing to the back of the pickup.
Beau climbed up, and within seconds the music kicked up a notch, grabbing everyone’s attention.