by Love Belvin
“Me, too.”
You gots no idea…
I enjoyed kicking it with the young kids, but hated being away from Jade and Ky. That had been bothering me.
“Thanks for letting me come to the meeting with you last night. Larry seems really excited to be working with you again.”
“Yeah.” I let out a breath, cupping water in my hand to pour over her shoulder. “Larry’s cool peoples. I’m just glad you held yourself together with Sylvia.”
Her neck swung over her shoulder as she looked up at me. “I’m not that bad.” When my eyes blew the hell up, she spoke louder. “Not anymore! I’m working on myself, Trent. I have too much to lose.” Her eyes fell and she bit her bottom lip.
“What’s that about?” I asked about her quick mood change.
She shook her head, the back of it to me now. “I know this is going to be hard—it’s been hard. You’re a high-profile celebrity. An athlete with a publicized, decorated scorecard, and personal life.”
Jade with her “decorated” words…
“Here we go,” I hummed lowly.
“Yeah. Here we go. You weren’t here when those flowers, undergarments, and fruit baskets were delivered from your old bedroom squad.”
“Jade, it wasn’t that serious; just a…coincidence.”
She swiveled back to me so fast, the water shifted. “A coincidence that six of your former lovers, who also happen to be celebrities—two of which, I’m a fan—sent you congratulatory gestures within days of each other? For a Super Bowl you lost? You admitted to sleeping with all of them.”
My eyes rolled to the ceiling.
Why did I cop to that?
“Let it go, J.”
“I did—am,” she corrected. “I knew it would be hard marrying a famous man.” I groaned. “Especially after that Brielle fiasco—”
“Jade!”
“I got into a fight with my mother last night.” I automatically pouted at that quick change in subject.
“I was able to make that out, shawtie,” I teased.
Jade shook her head and pulled her knees to her chin. “No. It was pretty bad.”
“How bad?”
“Shades of my teenage years, bad.” I didn’t respond. “I told her she wouldn’t be spending time with Ky anymore.”
“All because she caught us in the truck?”
“It’s more than that with her. It’s about control.” She shook her head again then turned to face me. “I can’t give her that anymore. I don’t need her leash on me. I need her to contribute to my son’s life—only as a grandparent, not a co-parent.” Tears welled in her eyes and her chin shuddered. “And you know the worse part?”
“What?” I stroked her cheek, upset that she was upset. Heated that there was nothing I could do to better the situation. To fix it for her.
“I’m mad at myself for allowing her to hurt me again.” Her voice cracked similar to April’s earlier at the hospital.
My damn stomach jumped. More than anything, it was because I’d been feeling the same about my moms. I thought she couldn’t get to me anymore. I realized this was one of the strongest connections Jade and I had: mommy issues. But it was common for women to have with their moms. They were women, dealing with female issues. It was not cool for a grown ass man like me to be hurt by his mother. Plus, Jade was strong. A fighter.
She never take flack from nobody.
But here my little one was, sloping like a kid herself because her moms wanted to keep her that way.
Nah… Not my Jade.
“C’mere, baby.” I pulled her into me and wrapped her in my arms. Jade didn’t hesitate straddling me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “You’re perfect to me and for me. Okay?” She nodded against my shoulders, sniffling back a cry.
The cry I wouldn’t dare let out in front of my wife and stepson. I couldn’t. I’d have to find a way to shake the hold Brenda Bailey still had on me. The one she didn’t want and never earned.
~Four
Have Sambi take a look at the gutter leak off the back of the kitchen…
Call April to invite her up…
File our marriage license…
Remind Shawnie to bring my A Good Man-darin is Hard to Find O.P.I. polish back today…
Pick up Trent’s shirt from the cleaners for tomorrow…
He turned onto his stomach and now faced me. His thick arm pushed under the pillow where his head lay, and his lips parted. Trent took up most of the California King-sized bed, barring a corner, but I didn’t care. He was here, home with me.
And he’s entirely beautiful…
Sometimes when I prayed, I asked God what did I do to deserve this. Him. He was larger than life—in person and in reputation. Since he’d been reinstated, I read countless articles about Trent Bailey, the quarterback for the Connecticut Kings. I learned about his groundbreaking scores and business deals, wild and festive parties, well-profiled relationships—except for the one with Brielle that was sold as a friendship to the public—with gorgeous women who were famous in their own right, and his arrest, conviction, and sentencing. Trent was barely twenty-eight and had lived more of a life than many men twice his age. And somehow the silly man still had the desire to choose an embattled woman with loads of baggage like me to be his wife.
As though he heard my self-loathing, his lashes fluttered open. My eyes and mouth spread as wide as my heart in experiencing the purity in his first sight of the day. Me.
“What time is it?” he muttered.
“Just before six.”
“You gone try to wipe me out before my work out?”
My face expanded even further and I scooted down the mattress to kiss his puffy lips. The idea of sex this morning was tempting.
“No. I wanted to get to you before KyKy did.”
Trent stirred, moving to sit up, and rubbed his deliciously tight face with those big hands.
“Oh, yeah. It’s Saturday. What y’all got on tap?”
“Lashawn and Devin are coming over today.” I bit the inside of my mouth, knowing I didn’t have much time to say what I needed to say.
Trent was like a machine in the morning when it came to his workout regimen.
“Word. Ky feeling up to that?”
My eyes circled the dim suite. “He should.”
Stretching on a yawn, he mumbled, “That’s what’s up.”
“I have to transfer money from the stash account today.”
The stash account was the biggest of Trent’s I had access to. It was the one we shouldn’t touch but for an emergency. But he would grant me permission to transfer money if I ran out for the house. And running out would be me going over the budget we agreed to. Trent was somewhat of a miser when it came to his money. He was wealthy by my parents’ standards even before he returned to the National Football League. But in his mind, he was two days from destitution. I could now see how he preserved; he hardly spent a dime.
“For what?” he asked, unalarmed.
“I’ve had Sambi replacing all the exterior lights on the property. I bought all new eco-friendly fixtures and bulbs. They weren’t the most expensive, but cost a shiny penny.” My voice turned defensive. “And considering the old models you had out there, and how half were malfunctioning anyway, I figure it’d save money in the future. Plus, I had to take Ky to get new clothes this week. If not, I would’ve paid for it with my money.”
“No biggie, little one.” He stretched again, this time extended his torso over his legs to touch his toes. Damn… Trent was more flexible than me. “Take what you need. I don’t know why you trippin’ anyway. Tim from Ches’ office ain’t call you?”
The accountant?
“No. For what?”
Trent turned to me and waggled his brows. “You got a raise, shawtie.”
“A raise?”
Like Trent had been doing since we’d been together, I was a line item in his financial portfolio. I had a set salary as he did, only mine was more than his; something I never u
nderstood. We were paid out monthly and were expected to stay within the parameters of that allotment for his budget to perform as planned. The majority of Trent’s multi-million-dollar earnings went to investments and retirement savings.
“Yup.” He exhaled. “I think you went from eighty to a hun‘ed.”
I gasped. “One hundred thousand a year?” He nodded, laying against the headboard. I knew he’d signed a couple of endorsement deals and even bigger ones were on the way, but I didn’t realize it happened so quickly. “And you?”
His lips turned up, unimpressed. “I told him to add ten to my fifty. I ‘on’t need much.”
“Only sixty a year, but give me one hundred? Trent, that doesn’t make an ounce of sense.”
“Keep it real: I don’t even need that. You buy food, pay the utilities—even cop my drawers, socks, and undershirts. Other than when I eat out or get parts for my Chevy, I don’t need much. Shoot. Even the Kings pick up my grocery tab at the condo up in Connecticut.” He shrugged. “You being good is me being good. Ky good, too, right?” His head angled slightly toward me with a curious brow.
I took a deep breath.
“Ryshon’s home.”
Trent turned completely to face me. “Word? When?”
Another hearty breath. “I don’t know.” My face fell to my lap. “I’m assuming two days ago.”
“That’s what’s up. Why you ain’t tell me?”
“He called the night you ran down to Camden. And I missed you yesterday, leaving out so early.”
“We kicked it last night,” he chastised gently.
I licked my lips. “I brought up my mom and crashed emotionally. Plus, it was too much to dump on you.”
“You look stressed about it. It’s good he’s home. He got a lil solider to raise.”
My eyes shot up loaded and locked. “I can do it.”
Trent’s brows met as he studied me. He shook his head. “Not by yourself, you can’t. You need that dude for Ky.”
“I need you.” My eyes didn’t falter, but my voice did.
“I’m here to be whatever you two need—everything you guys need. But my place is behind Ryshon…unless he ain’t steppin’ up, J.”
I swallowed hard, my brain snapping into place. That was out of line. I shouldn’t have put that on Trent.
“I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to imply…”
He reached for my face, his big palm almost matching it in size. “Hey, my vows are to you and Ky. Ain’t no half stepping over here. I’m just not tryna step on dude’s toes. That ain’t code. Why you stressed? Did he say something to you?”
I shook my head in his hand, face wrinkled. “It’s just our dynamic. It’s who Ryshon and Jade are. We don’t know how to co-parent while apart. He’s been locked up so many times.” I swallowed again, my eyes slowly ascending. “And now I belong to another man: heart, soul, and body.”
I wanted him to get it, but knew I wasn’t articulating myself fully. It was because I didn’t know what to say. I just knew what I felt and that was I’d wished Ryshon would disappear. I’d been transitioning into someone eons away from the woman Ryshon knew. I was filling in those empty spaces deep inside at Trent’s side. Something internal was awakening. Every day my self-confidence increased and so had my identity. Ryshon wouldn’t get or appreciate that.
And Trent doesn’t understand…
“He just got out the pen, J. It’s gonna take him a minute to adjust. He may be trippin’ a little, may be a lil brolic with a chip on his shoulder, but that’s normal. Give him grace. We all go through that when fresh out.”
“You?”
He nodded. “I tripped a little. Flexed unnecessarily on my people. But I got over it once I realized I didn’t have to be tough on the outside.”
“Who were you flexing at?”
His hand withdrew. “A few heads.” His eyes circled as he thought. “I almost choked the hell outta Alton.”
I sputtered a laugh, not able to believe what he’d just said. “Alton Alston?”
He nodded, one side of his mouth curved into a grin. “You know dude play way too much. He had jokes about me being fresh out and kept shootin’ them all night. After a while, I had him pinned against a wall. StentRo, JJ, and Tynisha had to pull me off him.”
A giggle slipped and I covered my mouth. “Sorry. It’s just that you’re so patient with him.”
“Because he got a good heart, just a confused head.”
“Which head? The one he rams into models like that Jessica Black while she’s with Young Lord? Or the one he never uses when talking so reckless, so much?”
Trent rolled his eyes adorably. “If you think Young had that broad in the ‘exclusive lane,’ you’re just as delusional as Alton.” He waved the topic off with his hand in the air. “For real, J. Don’t sweat the small stuff with dude Ryshon. If my peoples would’ve held me to my ego when I first landed, I wouldn’t have them around now. He’s got a lot of obstacles ahead of him. Just excuse the B.S.”
“Even if it’s a threat to us?”
Trent’s face darkened, first defensively then in confusion. “Like… You two hooking up again?”
My expression dropped. “I haven’t been attracted to him in years. And you’re the delusional one if you think I could ever want a guy like Ryshon after having a man like you.”
He didn’t move to respond, seemingly measuring every word I ever spoke to him in the past seventeen months since we met in the span of seconds.
“Then ain’t shit that dude can do to come between us, Jade,” he gritted out.
There was a dark promise in his eyes. A warning.
My eyes fell to my lap again. I had him cursing before his morning prayer run. There was another pregnant pause before Trent turned to leave the bed.
“I uploaded Pastor Carmichael’s Men’s Empowerment Conference sermons on your phone earlier. You know…” My eyes faltered again. “To catch up for tonight and tomorrow’s conclusion.”
Trent peered back at me, thick and bushy brows hiked. “Good lookin’.”
Then he took off for the bathroom. The deep grooves in his wide back in motion as he advanced.
As the phone rang in my ear, I scrolled down the page of a website I found with rustic style refurbished furniture. A small vendor in South Jersey, who handmade beautiful pieces I could use to create an ambiance conducive to a mental and emotional escape. Being with Trent taught me how to bargain shop. But of course, I never went cheap, just…economical.
Just when I thought she wouldn’t answer, I heard, “Hello.”
“Hey, Mrs. Bailey!”
“With who am I speaking with?”
I rolled my eyes as I stifled a giggle.
It’s with whom am I speaking screamed in my head, but instead I went with, “It’s Mrs. Bai—” I caught myself. “The soon to be Mrs. Bailey.”
“Which one?” she demanded.
I couldn’t hold my amusement in that time, and cracked up, laughing in her ear.
“There better be just one for the one in Alpine. That’s for sure!”
Over my hoots, she asked, “Alpine? Jade?”
“Yes!”
“Girl, you got me going back to my slashing tires days when them tricks used to call my phone, saying they was the new Mrs. Bailey!”
I couldn’t stop laughing. Trent told me Shank had a long journey on the infidelity track. It’s a wonder his marriage to April lasted until the end. His end.
That thought sobered me enough to get to my reason for calling.
“How’s it been down there?”
“Ehhhh…” she sang. “Good days and…”
“Rainy ones?”
“Yeah. Too many of those, child.”
I sighed. “Well, I can’t say I can relate, but I can certainly sympathize.”
“Trent seems to be holding up good. Shank would like that.”
“Yeah. On the surface. He’s still a man. A human, who’s expected to perform like a machine. He ha
s to hold up or so many will crumble underneath him.”
Our payroll had been growing.
April didn’t come back with a remark.
“Are you crumbling, April?”
“I’m fighting,” she murmured, sadness lined with her answer.
“I’d like to help you.”
“Help me? You got your hands full with Trent. That was the son Shank never had.”
“I can help you by inviting you to stay with him, because by extension, he’s like a son to you, too.”
“He put you up to this!” she alleged. “Look, Jade, I told Trent I ain’t tryna be no burden on you two. Trent deserves the family you give him, and I want him to have that in peace. He don’t need me latching onto that.”
I’d been aggressive. My assertiveness regarding Trent and his wellbeing had become my reputation among his friends and family, and so soon. And while I didn’t care what people thought, other than him, I didn’t want to scare off those I knew had his best interest at heart. I had to do damage control.
“But he latched on to you through your husband for years. I don’t think Trent sees you as a burden. I certainly don’t. As a woman who services her family, I see the need for a retreat every now and then. Especially for warriors like you, women I aspire to be. You deserve a break. Let us be that for you.”
“How you gone be that for me?”
“You come up here, I’ll pamper you, give you a nice room to meditate in. There’s a nice park you can go to—even in these winter temps—to feed the ducks and walk the path. I can do your nails and feet, take you to get your hair done, if you like. We can team up on Trent about him being so cheap and needing to understand he’ll only live once…” My lips curved into a smile.
“That boy still cheap?” she cried. “You know he get that from his uncle. That was until his uncle took real ill. Then he got that life can move faster than money if the good Lord say so.”
I didn’t really have an issue with Trent’s parsimoniousness. I’d been adjusting while fighting him on very few issues.
“So, you see what I deal with?” I joked.
“Mmmhmmm…” she droned. “Do I know! Where’s that sneaky Trent of mine anyways?”
I laughed under my breath as I traversed the kitchen to peek out the window.