“No, Camryn. You saved me.”
Everything seems to move in slow motion again. The front door bursts open seconds after Jake and I embraced. Police officers swarm the living room, yelling at us to put our hands up.
“He saved me,” I yell at the top of my lungs as several officers tackle Jake to the floor. Jake’s face is pressed against the dark oak floor, facing me. He mouths “Thank you,” and is cuffed and led away. I look over to my father, who is being placed on a stretcher, but conscious. He tries to tell me something but I can’t figure out what. I still can’t believe I am alive. I was seconds away from dying, and now I am here, alive. The pain in my foot wakes me from my haze when the men begin to lift me up onto a gurney. Paramedics are asking me questions and officers are hovering over me, waiting for me to make a statement. I shake my head yes, then no, not sure if I am even able to speak at this moment. Shock. I am in shock. Words are forming at my lips, but I can’t seem to get them out. I hadn’t realized it until now, but wet streams of tears mixed with blood are pouring out of my eyes, dripping onto the white sheets below. I am being wheeled out the front door, surrounded by paramedics and officers, completely disoriented by my surroundings. Red and blue lights are flashing in the night sky of this quiet shore town, sirens blaring ominously down the street. I see Jake leaned up against a patrol car, giving his statement to Dave. Dave looks to me, and then back at Jake. The only thing I can do is nod at him, hoping he knows that he should believe the insane story Jake telling.
I am turned around and backed into the ambulance when I see him. I think I’m hallucinating at first. He looks too heavenly to be real. I spot Holden before he sees me. His dark hair is standing up, all mussed, and I know it’s because he’s been pulling at the ends like he always does when he’s stressed. He is talking with an officer, yelling, looking around frantically, true to Holden’s form. His white buttoned-down shirt is unbuttoned at the top, slightly untucked, and his tie nowhere to be seen. When his eyes meet mine, it is as if all of the world around me disappears and all I see is him. Holden Patrick. The man I never thought I would see again. The love of my life.
The paramedic asks me if something is wrong when I suck in my breath, unable to breathe until he is in my arms. I need to feel him to know I am really alive, to know that this nightmare is finally over. It’s all finally over. The fear I have had all of these years is gone.
Holden begins sprinting towards me, pushing an officer guarding the ambulance to the side, and leaps into the ambulance in one swift motion. He doesn’t take me in his arms right away like I want him to. He stops short in his tracks just as he approaches, and looks at me, stunned, and kneels down at my side. He gently puts his hands on the side of my face, and presses his forehead lovingly to mine.
“I love you so much,” he whispers through his tears. He wipes my blood-soaked face and kisses my lips softly. “I thought I lost you.”
“You’ll never lose me again.” I am finally able to speak. “I’m okay.” I could barely get out the words.
“You’re okay,” he repeats softly, and sits back and looks over my blood-covered body, and then over at the paramedics. “She’s going to be alright,” he says rather than asks.
“I’m going to need a cast again.” My voice breaks, too strained to speak clearly.
A playful smile comes across his face, warming my heart. “I guess that means you’re moving back in.”
I smile, feeling a sense of peace I have never experienced. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel me. “Guess so.”
Chapter Sixteen
It’s hard to believe how different I feel. I feel like a whole person, all the cracks and breaks in me mended with love. After that fateful night last fall, so much has changed, but then again, nothing has changed. My lungs feel ten times larger, no longer in a constant state of suffocating worry and fear. Jake did something horrible to me. I’ll never forget what he did to me; it changed me to the core. But I’ve learned in order for me to move past it, I have to forgive him, and I think I have. He saved my life. As much as he took part of my life away that night so long ago, he gave me back a life that is too perfect to regret. My daughters. Holden. They make me feel whole. They show me every day what unconditional love is.
Looking out to the city lights below, I say a quiet prayer, thanking God for the second chance at life and love that I’ve been given. I can’t help but wonder what is happening behind the bright rows of lights of the apartments below. Are they happy? Are they in love? Are they in danger? I shake the thought and walk down the hallway, looking for Holden and the girls. I pause in the doorway, when I hear Holden talking quietly with the girls, and listen.
“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess…” he begins.
“What was her name?” Sophie asks, hopping up and down on the couch.
“Her name was Princess Camryn,” he said without hesitation. Very creative.
“That’s Mommy’s name,” Ellie interrupts.
Holden smiles and kisses her forehead. He begins telling a romantic story about a young princess who had a loyal best friend. She and her friend loved each other more than anything in the world and lived happy lives together. Until one day, an evil witch came and put a spell on the two friends. She built a steel wall around Princess Camryn’s heart, making her unable to fall in love. Then the evil witch told the boy there was no way to save his best friend, that he was the cause for her pain, and sent the boy away and told him never to return again.
Holden seemed to sense my presence and looks back at me and smiles, like he has been caught telling a secret. I smile back. “Go on. I want to hear how it ends.” I walk over and snuggle in next to Ellie, taking her up on my lap, and kiss her head.
Holden absentmindedly plays with Sophie’s hair as he continues. “Well, you see, one day the boy realized what could cure Princess Camryn.”
“What, Holden?” Sophie asks, interrupting him.
Holden looks right into my eyes. “True love. True love is the key to break the curse.”
My heart belongs to this amazing man in front of me. Every part of me belongs to him, and I never want it any other way.
He continues, still looking only at me, “So one day, the boy, now a man, found Princess Camryn. He walked right up to her and took her in his arms. She didn’t resist; she seemed to know it was where she belonged all along. The devastatingly handsome man told Princess Camryn he loved her, and was going to spend every second for the rest of his life protecting her and taking care of her.”
“And they lived happily ever after!” Sophie cheers.
Holden smiles brightly. “And they lived happily ever after.”
It is true: Holden is my knight in shining armor. He’s given me a life that I have never thought possible. My life has been more like a NCIS episode than real life, and Holden has been with me every step of the way. He diligently pushed me through physical therapy for my ankle yet again, and helped me become whole again.
We tuck the girls into bed and go back out to the couch, snuggling in tightly together, our legs entwined, soft music playing in the background. The Civil Wars, I think. Life is good.
Tomorrow I am running in the NYC Marathon to raise money for victims of rape, and he will yet again be there to support me. A year ago, I would have never thought it would be possible for me to run a race like this. My ankle was broken yet again, in several places, and now has a four-inch piece of steel securely holding my ankle in place. Holden knows how important this race is to me, and in his usual pushing and overbearing fashion has encouraged and supported me in my rehabilitation and training. Now with the race hours away, I am wondering if it was all a big mistake. A marathon like this one is a big deal. And this is going to be my first ever full marathon.
Holden runs his fingers along my stomach, shaking me from my thoughts. “You’re going to kill it tomorrow, so stop worrying.”
I giggle into his chest. “You know me too well, Mr. Patrick. I’m just nervous is all. Th
at’s perfectly normal.”
He traces his fingers one by one, slowly up the side of my waist, tickling each bone of my rib cage seductively. “Just picture me and the girls at the finish line to push you forward.” His fingertips teasingly tug at the bottom of my bra.
“Don’t be so cocky, Holden. Maybe there are other things than you that can give me incentive.” I kiss his neck, playing along.
He husks in a sultry tone, “I will give you something to look forward to.” His large hands grasp at my breast, kneading them wantonly.
My breath hitches as he flips over on top of me, hovering inches from my face. “I am going to make love to you all night tomorrow.” He trails passionate kisses along my collarbone, each time the contact of his lips to my skin sending trails of fire through my body down to my core. “I want you so bad right now that it hurts.”
I feel his hard desire pressed against me and am almost drowning in need. “It can be a pre-race warm up.” I grip at his hair, while he runs his tongue across my stomach down towards my belly button. My stomach muscles clench, and my legs fall open. His hand grips my waist, and then makes its way down to my sex that is calling for him. I let out a sigh, showing him my appreciation.
“Fuck, Camryn. You make it so hard sometimes.” He looks up at me through his long, dark eyelashes. “I’m not going to be responsible if you cramp tomorrow.” He makes his way back up to me, now placing apologetic kisses in the place of the others.
“I hate how logical you always are,” I say, pouting.
“Me too.” He smiles, wrapping me up in his muscular arms. “Good things come to those who wait.”
I’ve never known words to be more true than they feel now.
The first half of the race I feel amazing. My dad, Jess and Dave, the girls and Holden, even Marcus came to cheer me on at a few checkpoints. I focus on my goal for the race and the women I am running for the entire time. Victims of rape are some of the strongest people I have ever met. Some broken, some scared, but all brave. They give me the strength to push through the pain that is aching through my ankle the farther I run. I turn the corner marking the twentieth mile, and a cold chill comes over me. The exhaustion I am feeling is numbing, but my pace remains steady. Katy Perry’s “Roar” begins booming on my iPod and I can’t help but smile. Holden made my soundtrack for this run, picking the perfect songs for each moment. He’s run this race before, and knows when I will need something loud and angry to push me up the steep hills, and something melancholy and memory sparking to help my consciousness drift away somewhere other than counting my strides or thinking about my ragged, tired breaths.
Step by step, my feet rhythmically run as if being led by something other than me. I am sure that the next few days, any time I am sitting, my legs will feel like they are in motion. The heartbreaking sound of Joy Williams from the Civil Wars comes up next, letting me know the race is almost over. This is our song. It was the song that Holden quoted when he was trying to convince me to let him into my heart. To let him love me, and to let myself love him again. I do love Holden, and letting him in, all the way into my heart, has been the best thing I have ever done. The night I almost died…for the second time…I was going to tell Holden I wanted what he wanted. That I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. But I never had the chance to. And now, well, now we are better than ever, but the time just hasn’t seemed right again. The questions about our future stopped. Holden hasn’t asked for anything more from me since then, and a very small part of me wonders if he ever will.
Before I realize it, I see the marker for the twenty-fifth mile. Sweet Jesus! My heart begins to race a little at the excitement and realization of what I am about to accomplish. I am ahead of my goal time by over two minutes, which means I will get even more money for my charity.
A fast beat begins to play with a chiming noise, interrupting my euphoric thoughts. This isn’t the right song. Bruno Mars’s soulful voice begins to sing the words to an upbeat song that I vaguely remember. Visions of Jess and me, sitting in her car, dancing along to this song sparks my memory. It’s the sweet song the man made the proposal video to. Instead of changing the song to my usual finale song I have run to the past month, I let him sing me joyfully in. I’m going to marry Holden one day is all I can think.
My breathing is uneven with excitement, so I take in a long, deep breath, and then pull a short swig from my water bottle. Loud cheering from the crowd erupts just as I turn the final corner of the marathon. I begin to pick up my pace, adrenaline from the crowd pushing me forward like a wave of admiration. A large white sign catches my eye, making me almost stop altogether. A large group of women, all wearing shirts supporting my foundation, are all yelling my name, holding a sign that reads: Camryn Hamilton, You Are Our Hero!
Instantly tears fill my eyes and my throat tightens up. I wave and blow kisses to them in thanks, trying to find my breathing rhythm again, overwhelmed from their support. I focus on the beat of the Bruno Mars song to help me find my pace, savoring that memory for later. Before I can begin to process what is happening, I hear my name once again being called from the sidelines. Now it is Jess, Dave, and virtually every person I know from Mantoloking all holding signs. Each group has a different sign. Reading them is almost too much to take. They read: Camryn Hamilton, You Are Strong.
The next read: You Are Brave.
The last one was held by Jess: You Are One Bad Ass Bitch!
I laugh through tears that I am no longer able to hold back. I don’t know whether to be pissed or touched at this point because my pace has slowed because I am so overcome with emotion. It’s almost too much.
What happens next both confuses me and makes my heart stop. The finish line is in sight and music is blasting all around me. This is it. My last mile. I take off my headphones, and pick back up my pace when I realize what song is playing. It is “Marry You,” by Bruno Mars. What a coincidence. Or is it?
Another sign pops in my line of vision. This time it’s held by my dad. It reads: Camryn Hamilton, You Deserve the Fairy Tale.
I shake my head at him, trying to make sense of this all. Then I see what this is all about just as I am about to cross the finish line. Holden and the girls are standing there, all holding signs. Sophie and Ellie are jumping up and down with smiles wider than I’d ever seen.
The girls’ sign reads: Say Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Holden’s standing there with a look on his face that can only be described as love. Pure, unquestionable love.
Holden’s sign read: I Want to Marry You.
My hands shoot up to my mouth and I stop in my tracks, out of breath and in complete shock. This is like a dream. I look back up to them, and the girls and Holden are running up to me as hundreds of voices chant, “Say yes!”
The girls hop up to me, hugging me fiercely. Holden throws down the sign and gets down on one knee. He takes my sweaty hand in his and kisses it, and then looks up at me with his bright green eyes.
“I’ve loved you since the day we met. I want to love you for the rest of your life. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. Everything you’ve always deserved. Marry me, Camryn. Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me.”
Uncontrollable tears of happiness erupt from me, and all I can do is nod my head yes. He places the sparkling diamond ring on my finger and stands, taking my exhausted body in his arms.
“I want to hear you say it…so I know it’s real,” he whispers in my wet ear.
“Yes. A thousand times yes,” I say, breathless. “You are my fairy tale, Holden. It’s always been you.”
“It’s always been you, too, babe. No one but you.”
…And they lived happily ever after.
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, I have to thank my husband and three amazing kiddos. I don’t know how I would get any writing done if you didn’t let me lock myself away at night and on weekends to pursue my dream and do what I love. You are my fairy tale.
/> To my family and friends. My parents, in laws, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, and uncles, and besties, you all rock. Thank you for always supporting me and my dream.
A BIG thank you to Wordsmith Publicity, and Autumn for helping me spread the love about Dust to Dust and my other ventures. You have been amazing and have been such an important component to my success.
To my awesome cover artist and doer of everything that has to do with my brand, Kelly Walker. I not only thank you for making beautiful covers for all of my books, but for all of your advice and help through this process.
To my amazing editor, Faith Williams. You are the best of the best.
Thank you also to all the amazing bloggers out there who have supported me all the way. Especially the ladies at Read and Share Book Reviews who have supported me since Secrets of Shadow Hill, and are huge supporters of indie authors. You all are so important to our success and are appreciated!
Finally thank you to my author friends. Ashley Chappell, you were one of my first friends in the industry and someone I admire. I know we will have a friendship that will last through many books! Maybe I’ll write about us one day. I also want to thank Jasinda Wilder for not only writing some of the most bad ass books out there, but for encouraging me to take a leap into the indie world. You are an inspiration.
Contents
Title page
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Dust to Dust: A Broken Fairy Tale Page 23