by Carol Jean
“Control freak.”
“Yes, but with good intentions.”
Steven has Michael take the car to find a parking space. Steven takes charge of her and Suzanne as Michael drops them off close to the bandstand.
“You do know that I probably run ten miles a day?”
“This is different. It’s not running equipment. You’ll feel the difference. Just trust me, please.” She can feel the crease of disapproval between his eyes. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t like to be treated like broken glass. She holds Steven’s elbow like he shows her and she holds Suzanne’s hand.
“Don’t let go of me, Suzanne. I can’t see to find you if you get lost.” Judy squeezes the little hand holding her and suddenly afraid something bad will happen or bad people will find them. For the first time, Judy realizes she can’t see danger coming.
Her anxiety is still peaking when Steven settles her and Suzanne on a thick and comfortable blanket. There are lots of people near them, talking and laughing and paying no attention to anyone but themselves. She’s beginning to relax and get into the excitement, but Steven’s head keeps looking around for Michael.
Suzanne must see him first, she’s up and jumping and yelling “Michael.”
“You guys were lucky, that was a nightmare. Didn’t think I was ever going to get my turn to park,” Michael plops down on the blanket.
“You and Suzanne want to look around and get us some drinks or something. Steven must hand him some money. “Go explore.”
“Stay close Suz,” and then they’re off.
“Its fun having kids isn’t, Judy?”
She’s leaning against his legs like he instructed her to support her back. “It’s nice having Michael and Suzanne around. Did you see my friendship bracelet? She said we were now BFFs and could she call me Judy.” She laughs, while Steven admires it and moves it around and around her wrist. “She’s worried, you know.”
“About Michael going to college, yes, I know. Unlike the rest of us, Suzanne doesn’t hide much does she? It’s very refreshing and I compliment Michael on raising her to be open and communicate freely. I think he’s probably the best parent I’ve ever run into and he was seven when he started taking care of her.”
Judy lets Steven’s cryptic remark pass over them and changes the subject. “Do you know their mother?”
“Yes, she’s a hooker who works the area where you used to live. Michael and Suzanne have different fathers.”
“Does she take care of them at all?”
“Not really, they pretty much take care of her. Fixing food for when she comes home, cleaning the apartment, grocery shop and Michael pays the bills.”
“That’s harsh.”
“Better than you had it. She may ignore them but she’s nice to them when she’s around and she doesn’t beat them or let her pimp come in to the apartment. She never brings customers in either, even if the kids aren’t home.”
“Nice woman, just an odd occupation?”
Then Steven abruptly changes the subject. “The shelter program you are putting together is one of the reasons we’re here today.”
“What?”
“Part of the proceeds has been designated for your program?”
“How? Why didn’t I know about it?” That’s her only ambition to get it funded and she should have been consulted. “Steven I’m so angry and I could scream. It’s great, but I would have supported this and we could have done better. This is a lost opportunity.”
“I put your program on the list. I didn’t think you would go for something like this.”
“Of course you didn’t know. You didn’t ask me did you?” Judy’s temper flares. “Don’t think for me Steven. If you and Simon had talked to me about my dad and brother, Simon would be alive right now!”
She’s close to being out of control. Trembling and so angry she can’t continue to sit still, but she can’t get up without help. Without other recourse available, she begs. “Oh Steven, don’t do this to me. If you are going to be around, you’ve got to talk to me and I know you hate it, but you’ve got to share. You just can’t come charging in like some idiot on a white horse and a metal helmet and take over my life and think for me.”
Steven laughs and I quiet down because I can sense the people around us starting are to pay attention. “You’re right. I was wrong. I won’t made that mistake again, Judy.”
“So what other mistakes are you going to make, Steven?” She spits.
Steven takes her hand and starts playing with her fingers. “Please don’t push me away because I don’t know how.”
“Only one rule, Steven. Talk to me and be honest, even if you think I won’t like it. We’ll argue and listen to each other and then make up, okay?”
“Oh my God, Miss Mason.” She knows that voice. This isn’t good.
Steven jumps up and pulls her to her feet. “Dr. Harter, it’s good to see you again too.”
“Steven, keep Michael and Suzanne away. Go now.” She whispers and pushes him. When she realizes he’s gone she turns to the governor’s voice and holds out her hand. “How have you been? Steven tells me you’ve been working out regularly and that you like his green/gray sludge.” She laughs but it’s not her best. “Is Grace with you?”
“Yes, she’s somewhere around here? I’m addicted to his drink. I haven’t had so much energy in twenty years. But he won’t give me the recipe, so I have to keep going to his club. He’s a nice fellow and a damn good doctor and trainer.” The governor puts his hand on her shoulder and knows what he’s going to say next. “I’m so sorry about Simon. He was a great man.”
She nods and only has enough air to redirect him. “Please tell me about this event, I wasn’t aware of it. Steven just told me that my children’s program is involved.”
He gives her the skinny and she hears the cameras and other media moving in. “All the benefactors get a chance to go to the stage and give a brief description of their charity. It would be wonderful if you would participate, especially with your killer hair do.” He laughs and it’s not unpleasant.
“It’s supposed to be a fun day isn’t it? I thought this was fun. Sure I’ll do it. Anything associated with you, is worth making the effort and if it helps the shelter program that’s even better. May I request that I be first? This is my first time out and I get tired quickly.”
“I’ll arrange it and have Mr. Post – you remember him – come and get you. Would that be all right?”
“May I speak candidly and in private?”
She waits until she hears the cameras stop and people start to move away and then whispers. “Steven and I have two children with us. They are under privileged and Steven is their mentor. It isn’t in their best interest to be filmed and photographed. Can you handle that or should we send them home. They were so looking forward to hearing the band.”
“You really are very special, aren’t you Miss Mason. We have all missed you. I promise I will make sure they are safe.”
“You’ll really do that? You promise? If they get hurt in any way, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“I was going to send Grace over to you, but I won’t do that either. I’ll have a couple of discreet State Police officers keep an eye out for wandering photographers and ward off any intrusions. Would that he helpful?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“I know what my association with you has cost you, Miss Mason. I’m suffering too.”
She feels him walk away. She wants to sit down and get away from all the interested eyes she feels, but she can’t. She can only stand and wait for Steven like she did that day waiting for Simon. Every second she waits is agony. She feels the tears roll down her cheeks. She’s glad Steven’s huge sunglasses cover most of her face, but now they’re falling off her chin. She tries to stop. People are going to notice and probably some photographer is getting her photo right now.
And then warm arms are around her. “I’ve got you. It took me forever to get through the crowd. Let’s sit down.” Steven
lowers her and she’s leaning against his legs. He’s wiping her tears and telling her he’s sorry he brought her here.
“Where are the children?”
“They’re waiting for me to signal that it’s okay to come over.” She tells him what she told the governor and what he promised.
“Look around. Do you see any photographers?”
“A couple State Police about ten and twenty yards away. They’re not looking at us, but looking at the crowd. I guess the governor is keeping his promise.”
“Okay.”
She feels Steven wave his hand and Suzanne scuttles close to her. “Got you a cotton candy, Judy, is that all right?”
“Sure baby, that’s great. Thanks. What color?”
“Bright lime green, it matches your hair ribbon.”
It comes out of nowhere and she’s laughing and Steven’s hugging her and she’s laughing and they’re all laughing at her. Thankfully the band is introduced and a quick pitch that this is a charity event, so don’t be shy with your wallets by the governor and the music starts.”
Michael hands her a Diet Coke. It’s heaven in a cup. Steven spreads his legs and scoots closer and it feels better that her back is supported by his chest. Soon they’re all enjoying the music.
After about three songs, she feels Mr. Post approach. “Let me go with you Judy.”
“No, please stay with the children. I’ll be all right.”
Mr. Post gently puts her hand on his elbow and walks slightly ahead of her. She was worried that it would be difficult to walk through all the people sitting on the ground, but with his expertise it’s an easy and flawless trek to the stage.
Grace is waiting and gives her a big hug and how glad to see that she’s out, but she’s way too thin and if she’s up to it, maybe they can do the lunch they planned. It was nice to talk to her. She is very sweet. Mr. Post walks her on the stage, hands her a microphone. “I won’t be far away.” He whispers and she’s alone and feels the crowd wait for her to speak.
She hadn’t actually planned any thing, so she speaks the basic principals behind her program. Safety, acceptance, listening, understanding, and help without questions or judgments. Two minutes tops and she signals to Mr. Post. The crowd suddenly erupts into thunderous applause and cheers. It startles her. Her little speech wasn’t that arousing? But she waves to acknowledge them and walks off with Mr. Post.
The crowd continues to cheer her all the way to Steven. He helps her sit down. “I sent the kids away for hot dogs. I’ll signal them when the crowd calms down.”
“I don’t understand. What did I say?”
Steven is quiet.
“Steven I have to know.”
“After you finished, someone put up the video of the red dress/gun incident and the video of your crash in BB. It ran on a huge screen behind the band and ended with the photo of you standing next to BB in your driver’s suit and holding your helmet. It is a magnificent photo. Your smile and bright eyes, I loose my breath every time I see it. I guess they all admire you as much as I do.”
Her cell phone is ringing. The governor wants to make sure she knows that he didn’t have anything to do with it and if he’d known he would have stopped it.
“Thank you. I believe you.” When we’re ready to leave, signal one of the officers and he’ll have our car brought around for us, he says.
“I’m sorry Michael . . . Suzanne. I shouldn’t have come.”
“Are you kidding Miss Mason, this is great. You’re famous. I new you were special, but you’re a lot more than that aren’t you?”
She shrugs. She’s glad Michael and Suzanne aren’t upset and maybe she’ll get some real help with funding out of all this. Let it be. She can’t change anything.
Other than a constant flow of people wanting her autograph and the police moving closer to protect Michael and Suzanne, they did enjoy the band and the hot dogs Michael bought. She tried to keep it happy and fun for Michael and Suzanne and Steven. He wants this to be a happy day.
She’s exhausted like Steven predicted but she’s determined to hang on until the end. Michael is so taken with the band, plus the last song is always the best. People are dancing all around us. Steven says Michael is dancing with Suzanne.
“You wanted to go dancing with me, remember? We’re going to get stepped on and we have to get up anyway. May I have this dance?”
She puts her hand in his. He kisses her when the music stops. If she wasn’t so tired, she would probably have enjoyed it more.
Steven helps her undress and puts her to bed with one of his citrus concoctions and then he lies down beside her. “I’ll stay until you go to sleep and then I’ll see you soon.”
He kisses her cheeks and eye lids and lips. “Maybe one day, you’ll kiss me back.” She heard him but she was too tired to respond.
Chapter 35. Retribution
Facing staff meeting the next morning wasn’t pleasant. Charles, Charlotte and DeShaun all had comments to make. You can’t go anywhere without making a splash, loved the lime green ribbon and your sideways pony tail and, my less favorite from Charles.
“Are you on the governor’s payroll? You are personally going to get him re-elected and his policies and agenda are not in tune with what is best for Stalwart. He’s clearly supporting the Obama Administration and it’s killing us. Our employee costs have tripled, Judy.”
She hated having to explain herself to her own staff. It felt demeaning. It was still her company isn’t it? No, it isn’t. She forfeited Stalwart when she decided to put herself and BB in a precarious situation. It was an unnecessary risk with her future and the future of all the people she is responsible for.
“I’m sorry. I was caught. I thought I was going to a free concert in the park that a very nice young man and his sister wanted to go too. I didn’t know until I got there, what it was?”
“So why did you talk to the governor for two and half minutes, on camera? It looked like you two were best buddies.”
“What was I supposed to do, ignore him? Turn my back on him. I was asking him to protect the two children Steven is mentoring from exposure that wasn’t in their best interest. That’s what we were talking about.
“I’m sure there was video or something,” she’s angry and she’s letting it get the best of her. “I’m sure they caught the State Police around us and you haven’t seen one photo of the children, Steven said so. I told you, Charles, that photo was going to destroy me and Stalwart. You didn’t believe me, did you?” She’s aware she’s yelling and feels their startled faces. She calms down.
“I’m sorry. None of that is your fault, but if I hadn’t gone to that stupid charity ball and acted like a tramp none of this would have happened. Simon wouldn’t be dead, I wouldn’t be blind and physically dead, and you all wouldn’t be yelling at me, because a darling ten-year-old girl wanted to help me get dressed!” She’s yelling again and on her feet.
She never had a chance to hang onto anything. She always knew that, but she thought it was worth her effort to try. She’s free falling and there’s no way she can’t stop it.
Judy stands up, calm. “Charles do what you think is best for Stalwart. Form a corporation and cut me out of it. I won’t oppose you.”
She shut the door to her bedroom and locked it. She didn’t answer knocks or phone calls. What she did do was what she should have done a long time ago.
Chapter 36. Disposable
Chauncey opened the door. She could tell by his gasp that she was the last person he ever expected to see.
“May I see him Chauncey?”
“Judy, I don’t think this is a good idea. Mr. Perry isn’t well and his mind isn’t stable. You’ll probably do more harm than good.”
“Please Chauncey. Just ask.”
She stands and waits. She has no choice. Chauncey is back quicker than she expected. “He’ll see you. This is a bad idea, Judy.”
She nods. She knew Mr. Perry was waiting for her to come.
“Foll
ow me.” He walks away. I think.
“Judy, are you coming?”
“You have to help me, Chauncey. I’m blind. The carpet is so thick I can’t hear your footsteps.”
It’s the silence that always gets her. Tell someone you’re blind and all of a sudden there’s nothing to hear. She’s guided by Chauncey’s elbow to the same room she was in before. She remembers very detail.
She stands inside the door after Chauncey closes it. She figures he’ll be at the desk like last time, so he can clearly see that she has come in.
She waits a few seconds. “Mr. Perry?”
“You’ve got a lot of gall walking in here after you killed by son.”
She can’t tell where his voice is coming from. So she stares straight ahead.
“Yes sir, I know it seems like that, but actually I scared.”
“Then why in the Hell did you come? Did you want to shove Simon’s death in my face?”
His voice has moved.
“No. I wanted to tell you to your face that I’m responsible for Simon’s death and I owe you to stand in front of you and answer any questions you have and give you the chance to tell me what retribution you expect of me.”
“You stupid girl, why do you think I’d stoop low enough to do that. Haven’t you hurt us enough?”
“I had no intention of hurting you at all. I was living up to our agreement. When I was in the car crash, Simon came to me. He said he knew I had no one to look out for me. I was unconscious.”
She clears her throat that’s freezing up on her.
“But Simon is such a wonderful, caring person all he thought to do was help someone who needed help.”
“Was! Miss Mason. He was killed by your family!” He’s moving again.
“Yes, sir he was. If I had known anything, I would have stopped him. I would have done anything I had to do to prevent it. I would have killed them to prevent it. But I wasn’t given the opportunity to do that.”
“You expect me to feel sorry for you!”
He’s moved again.
“No sir, I don’t. I felt I should face you.”