No lights or sirens, rolling code two since both patients’ vitals were good, the ambulance drove away into the night.
“And I’m right behind you.” Rig’s voice was gentle and the night was warm, but a shiver ran down Naomi’s spine.
She turned. It was too much to hope that he really meant it, the way she wanted him to. But still, the tiny flutter she felt at every pulse beat wouldn’t let her stop hoping.
In the distance, Naomi could hear the surf pound against the sand. Sounds traveled farther at night, she knew, the fog creating a shell above them. She heard a seagull cry, and a car alarm, quickly silenced. She could feel the mist making her hair curl, and wished she didn’t still have the paper gown over her pretty dance dress.
Rig leaned against the concrete wall, the streetlight above him illuminating the tops of his cheekbones—they stood out stark against his face. The joy she’d seen in him inside had fled, leaving him serious. Quiet.
She had to tell him the truth. He might never feel the same way about her—probably still hated her—but she had to say it. She’d live through whatever came next, she knew that now.
“I love you.” Her throat ached as she said the words—they’d been locked so far inside her that it hurt when she released them. “I know you don’t feel the same way, but you needed to know so we can still work together. And I’ll be fine as a business partner, I promise. I just needed you to know. Just—that I love you, Rig.”
Rig didn’t say anything. A vein pulsed at his throat, a tiny motion she longed to touch, and couldn’t.
Well. That was that, then. She’d gotten mixed signals from him in there, and that was her fault. She would just deal with her feelings, and keep feeling them, and now that they were out of her, in the open air … The pain of it hit her so hard that she almost cried out. Inside, she’d just get inside and—
He knocked off his hat so that it fell unheeded to the gravel at their feet, and then he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her so hard against him she lost all breath, all desire to breathe ever again. He claimed her mouth in a kiss that said everything she’d ever wanted to hear, his lips moved against hers in a way that told her exactly how he felt, and if he hadn’t been holding her up, she would have had to reach behind her to grab the wall. As if she weren’t close enough, he pulled her tighter. Thigh to thigh, her breasts against his chest, his hand tangled in her curls, scooping her against him, holding her, kissing her, and she kissed him back, and in the back of her mind, she felt yes, yes, yes.
“Yes,” he finally said against her mouth.
“Yes, what?” She was desperate to hear it, to hear the words he’d just told her with his kiss.
“I love you so much I thought I’d die if I had to go one more second without telling you.” He smiled at her, his face radiant. “I’m so sorry I let you think that you—Naomi, I’m sorry about all of it. For everything I said, if I made you feel that I didn’t love you for even a second. I’ve loved you since I first saw you across that hotel bar, I just didn’t know it until recently.” He paused for a moment. Naomi could feel him taking a breath and she breathed with him. Then he said, “You’re everything I ever dreamed of, and a thousand times more than I could have imagined. You’re my heart. You, Naomi. I love you. Just you.”
How could a heart contain these feelings? She didn’t know how it was possible, but she was grateful, so grateful that it could keep beating while she felt them. She kissed him then, standing on her tiptoes, pulling him down to her. “I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you, too, Doc.” Rig laughed then, the glorious sound resonating inside her chest, and her laughter joined his. The sound of their joy bounced against the concrete walls, echoing out in Main Street, and down to the water. As the townspeople filed out of the dance just around the corner, heading home for the night, they heard the sound and more laughter joined theirs, drifting up into the dark velvet night sky. Naomi picked up the cowboy hat at their feet and settled it on top of her head, tipping her chin back to look at the heavens. A star winked, and glancing down, Naomi saw the same sparkle reflected in her ring.
Her father would have approved.
Rig kissed her again, and she was home.
Epilogue
Never underestimate the strength of your stitches: your knitting warms the body, soul, and spirit, and your love lives there, between your knits and purls.
—E.C.
Six months later.
The winter night was clear and cold, stars twinkling brightly above the pier, a crescent moon dangling above the far end of the bay as if it had been hung there in honor of the wedding.
And indeed, it might have been.
Naomi pulled the shawl across her shoulders, making sure it draped exactly where it should. It looked perfect with her dress, and she knew Eliza would have been proud of it. Yes, it had flaws and dropped stitches, and yarn-overs where there should have been decreases, but after blocking it had come out perfectly, a drift of creamy lace, just right for a night this important.
There was little traditional about this wedding, and she was glad of it—heart glad and filled with happiness. The white ranunculus she held in her hands trembled, and she made sure she concentrated on where she placed her feet. Tripping now wouldn’t do at all.
Ahead of her, Jake walked next to Anna as they moved through the open door. Inside, Naomi could see candlelight bouncing against the high rafters of the Book Spire, and the red ribbons they’d spent the afternoon twining up the aisle looked perfect. The books had been pushed back on their racks, and the pews had been replaced in their original places in the old church.
Good. She wanted this to be as lovely as love itself.
Naomi followed Jake and Anna at a steady pace, wishing her heart would beat the same way. She focused on the back of Anna’s red dress and the curve of her sister’s arm where she carried baby Josephine, who was also draped in matching red lace. To the left of Jake, Milo hung at the end of his father’s arm, annoyed that he hadn’t been allowed to carry the baby, but still pleased with his role as ring bearer. The rings were tucked in his tiny tux pocket, and Naomi had checked three times to make sure they were safe.
Ahead, in the church, Rig waited for her.
Her love. Her heart.
Even though she’d sensibly worn flats, she almost stumbled again on a small rock as she thought of the man she loved, the man who had made tonight happen. He’d been the one to think of the Book Spire, to hire the band, to order the food for the reception. He’d been giddy about it all, more excited than even she had been.
It made her love him even more.
Now, it was almost time ….
At the edge of the narthex, Naomi took a deep breath. What if he wasn’t there? What if, at the very last minute, he’d changed his mind?
But then, there, just to the side of the door that led into the nave itself, Bruno waited.
His face was so pale he almost glowed. Above his red bow tie, Naomi watched him attempt to swallow three times before he actually did it right. His hands were shaking, but at the sight of her, he smiled a rare Bruno smile.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“And you look more handsome than you ever have.”
Bruno gulped. “Really? Do you think so?”
“Truly,” said Naomi. “Now, may I have the honor of walking you down the aisle, sir?”
Bruno put out his arm, but before Naomi took it, she rose on tiptoe and kissed his clean-shaven cheek.
“I couldn’t be happier for you, Bruno.” Then she laced her arm with his, and as the sound of Iron & Wine’s “Such Great Heights” drifted out to them, as the guests stood, turning to face them as they entered, Naomi caught sight of Rig, standing at the end of the aisle between Peter and Jake.
Rig grinned and winked just for her. Naomi’s heart grew again and she felt the tops of her cheeks flush, like they always did. She gripped Bruno’s arm tighter.
And as they made it to the end of the white runner, Pe
ter came forward, his hand outstretched.
“Who gives this man to Peter Washburn to be wed?” Toots wore a purple robe she’d bought on the Internet along with her minister’s license, and her voice rang through the church.
“I do,” said Naomi, proudly.
“Well done,” said Toots, beaming at her.
The men walked toward Toots, and Naomi fell back next to Anna. Across from her, Rig sent her the look that made her, literally, weak in the knees. She still wasn’t sure how he did it, but Naomi locked her legs and prayed it wouldn’t make her faint.
As Toots talked about love, and as Bruno and Peter exchanged vows, Josephine made the tiny whimpering noises that meant she was about to wake up. Anna nodded at her, and Naomi took the bundle that she loved so much, joggling her quietly. From the time Jo had landed in this world, Naomi’d had the special touch, the one that always quieted her.
There was no feeling like the heft of her niece in her arms. Unless it was the feeling of looking at the Keller brothers, standing up for Bruno and Peter—Jake and Rig, serious, listening to Toots gravely, as if the ceremony depended on their memory of it.
In the crowd of guests, Maybelle sobbed heftily. Of course. Their mother was always going to play an audience for all it was worth. Elbert Romo leaned forward and pressed a neatly folded yellow hankie into her hand. But the tears were real: Maybelle had been the first to say it was ridiculous that two men were getting married, and then the first to say (after she and Bruno had discovered a mutual love of Neil Diamond) that she might have been a little bit wrong, and “didn’t everyone know that true love knows no gender?” She’d joined PFLAG just to get the T-shirt. She and Bruno had formed an uncommon alliance in the past months in attempting to browbeat Naomi and Anna into marriage. Now that Bruno was getting hitched, he thought everyone else should find the same happiness, and Maybelle came behind him, always echoing his sentiments loudly whenever she was in town, which nowadays was often.
Naomi knew that look Rig had—he was imagining their own ceremony, but she wasn’t in any hurry. She had him, and his love, and didn’t need to walk down an aisle to prove it. She already had forever.
Jake kept trying to talk Anna into marriage, too, but like her sister, she was also happy to live in sin for the moment. “Why buy the cow when I already get the milk for free?” she asked Jake with a laugh whenever he brought it up.
Naomi caught Rig’s eye and watched his gaze go soft—the same look he always gave her when she held Josephine. Someday, they’d probably have one of these little creatures themselves. Someday, she’d probably wear Eliza’s shawl and come down an aisle like this toward Rig, while watching those eyes she loved darken with emotion.
There was no hurry, though. For now, their family was big enough. Made of love, bound by love, circled and kept safe by love. Eliza had been right. Cypress Hollow was where she’d been meant to be. With her free hand, Naomi draped the edge of the shawl over Josephine’s hand-knit socks.
It was winter after all, and nothing warmed like wool.
* * *
‘A LITTLE EXTRA’
FROM
RACHAEL HERRON
ELIZA’S WEDDING SHAWL
* * *
Eliza’s Wedding Shawl
Designed by Rosemary (Romi) Hill
Materials: Hand-dyed sock yarn: 450 yards (shawl pictured is worked in A Verb For Keeping Warm’s “Metamorphosis”)
Needles: 1 set US #6/4mm knitting needles
Notions: stitch markers, tapestry needle, blocking wires, T-pins
Gauge: 16 sts/32 rows = 4"/10cm in lace pattern. Exact gauge is not important for this project. Please note, however, that a looser gauge will result in the use of more yardage.
PATTERN
With smaller needle, CO 3 sts.
Row 1 (WS): knit
Work Chart A one time.
NOTES: When working the first few rows of Chart A, it is helpful to mark the right side of the piece with a safety pin to distinguish it from the wrong side. A marker is placed on Row 1 to mark the center st. It is not mentioned again until Chart C, but must be slipped on each row.
Chart A written instructions
Row 1: mp, M1, pm, k1, pm, M1, k1 tbl
Rows 2, 6, 10, 14, 18, 22, 26, 30, 34 and 38: mp, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Row 3: k1 tbl, [k1, M1] 2 times, k1, k1 tbl
Rows 4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24, 28, 32, 36, 40: k1 tbl, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Row 5: mp, k2, YO, k1, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 7: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k1, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 9: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 11: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k3, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 13: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k5, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 15: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k7, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 17: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, [YO, ssk] 2 times, YO, k1, YO, [k2tog, YO] 2 times, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 19: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k1, [YO, ssk] 2 times, k1, [k2tog, YO] 2 times, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 21: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k3, YO, ssk, YO, sk2p, YO, k2tog, YO, k3, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 23: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k5, YO, ssk, k1, k2tog, YO, k5, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 25: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k7, YO, sk2p, YO, k7, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 27: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k19, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 29: mp, k2, YO, [k1, (YO, ssk) 2 times, YO, sk2p, YO, (k2tog, YO) 2 times] 2 times, YO, k1, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 31: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k1, [YO, ssk] 2 times, k1, [k2tog, YO] 2 times, k3, [YO, ssk] 2 times, k1, [k2tog, YO] 2 times, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 33: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, [k3, YO, ssk, YO, sk2p, YO, k2tog, YO, k2] 2 times, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 35: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k5, YO, ssk, k1, k2tog, YO, k7, YO, ssk, k1, k2tog, YO, k5, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 37: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k7, YO, sk2p, YO, k9, YO, sk2p, YO, k7, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 39: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k31, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Repeat Chart B approximately 5 times. You can resize this shawl easily by omitting or adding Chart B repeats.
Chart B written instructions
Row 1: mp, k2, YO, [k1, (YO, ssk) 2 times, YO, sk2p, (YO, k2tog) 2 times, YO] 3 times, k1, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Rows 2, 6, 10: mp, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Row 3: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, k1, [(YO, ssk) 2 times, k1, (k2tog, YO) 2 times, k3] 2 times, [YO, ssk] 2 times, k1, [k2tog, YO] 2 times, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Rows 4, 8, 12: k1 tbl, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Row 5: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, [k3, YO, ssk, YO, sk2p, YO, k2tog, YO, k2] 3 times, k1, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 7: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, [k5, YO, ssk, k1, k2tog, YO, k2] 3 times, k3, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 9: mp, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, [k7, YO, sk2p, YO, k2] 3 times, k5, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Row 11: k1 tbl, k2, YO, k2tog, YO, knit to last 5 sts, YO, ssk, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Note that on subsequent repeats of Chart B, the repeat numbers in each odd numbered row will increase by two for each repeat of the entire Chart B worked.
Work Chart C one time.
Chart C written instructions
Row 1: mp, k2, YO, [k2tog, YO] to marker, sl m, k1, [YO, ssk] to last 3 sts, YO, k2, k1 tbl
Rows 2, 6: mp, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Rows 3: k1 tbl, k2, M1, knit to last 3 sts, M1, k2, k1 tbl
Row 4: k1 tbl, knit to last st, k1 tbl
Row 5: mp, k2, M1, knit to last 3 sts, M1, k2, k1 tbl
Finishing
Bind off using picot bind off as follows: [mp, BO 2 sts, sl st from right needle back to left needle] to end of row, making 1 picot at end of row. Break yarn and sew end into border so that last picot sits properly.
Abbreviations
BO—bind off
CO—cast on
k—knit
&nb
sp; k2tog—(right-leaning decrease) knit 2 stitches together
k tbl—knit through back loop to twist stitch
mp—make picot—CO 2 sts using knitted CO; k2tog tbl, k1 tbl; BO 1
M1—make 1 stitch by lifting the bar between sts, twisting and knitting into the resulting loop
p—purl
RS—right side
sl—slip st knitwise
ssk—(left-leaning decrease) slip 1 stitch as if to knit, slip 1 stitch as if to knit, slip both stitches back onto left needle, knit stitches together, inserting needle from right to left
st(s)—stitch(es)
WS—wrong side
YO—yarn over
For additional pictures/errata, please visit yarnagogo.com
Acknowledgments
Thanks go to my amazing editor, May Chen, for helping me up the learning curve so gracefully; to the fantastic agent and friend to whom I probably owe my firstborn child, Susanna Einstein; to her assistant Molly Reese, who rocks; and to everyone at HarperCollins who makes being part of the team so wonderful: Carrie Feron, Pam Spengler-Jaffe, Amanda Bergeron, Christine Maddalena, Tavia Kowalchuk, Megan Traynor, Shawn Nicholls, thank you for believing in my little town of Cypress Hollow. Thanks go to my family for telling everyone they know about my books, and to Lala, for putting up with me when I go crazy eyed and start writing nonsense sentences on the insides of matchbooks. Thanks to the PensFatales, for being my writing family, and to A. J. Larrieu, for reading my work at the drop of a proverbial dime. Thanks also to Gwen Alcázar, for knowing many things, and to Eddie Dwyer, again, for providing me with the specifics. And huge thanks go to Eliza Carpenter, my imaginary friend who’s become more real than I could ever have imagined, and to Rosemary Hill of RomiDesigns, who designed the shawl I could not (and that Eliza would have, had she thought of it).
About the Author
Rachael Herron lives in Oakland, California, with her family and has way more animals than she ever planned to, though no sheep or alpaca (yet). She learned to knit at the age of five, and generally only puts the needles down to eat, write, or sleep, and sometimes not even then.
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