by Grant, Livia
Piper could see the mischief playing in his eyes. She was afraid to ask.
“Just one? And what that might be?”
His grin was perfect.
“Any chance I can start getting a discounted price? This spending a hundred grand every week is getting a bit expensive.”
Despite how heavy the morning’s events had been, Piper unbelievably broke out into a chuckle. She couldn’t help herself.
At that moment, the ideal sassy response came to her. Dare she?
“Sorry, Boeing, but you’re gonna have to spend a hundred grand one more time, then you can take a break.”
“Oh? And what will I be getting for my investment? Think we can squeak out a full weekend this time?”
“Actually, I was thinking a bit longer term than that.”
“A whole week?”
“Longer.”
Nolan’s eyes widened, starting to understand what she was hinting at.
“Piper…”
She had to swallow a couple of times to push down the lump in her throat. For the second time that morning, she found it difficult to find the right words. She could see the hope in Nolan’s eyes as he waited.
“I’ve had my eye on a particularly flawless, six-carat, pear-shape diamond to add to my collection.”
“I see. Any particular setting you plan on putting your new ice into?”
Piper was usually the last person to play coy, but nothing seemed usual lately.
“I think I’ll leave that up to you, Mr. Boeing. But for the record, my ring size is six.”
“I’ll have to get right on that. I think while I’m at it, I’ll order a nice companion piece. Something else I’m pretty certain you don’t have in your collection yet.”
“Oh? And what’s that? A diamond nipple ring?”
Nolan took her by the hand, and they finally started down the stairs toward the exit as he answered her.
“No, I’ll save that for our one-year anniversary. I was thinking about a nice collar you can wear to Black Light, along with a jewel studded leash, so I can make sure you never try to get away from me again.”
One-year anniversary, indeed.
Despite the heaviness of the morning’s events, as Nolan wrapped his arm around her waist, Piper realized she hadn’t felt this light in… well, forever. She was sure a big part of her relief was getting her secrets out into the open as ugly as they were. At that moment, she knew the time was right to share her final secret.
“You know, I do have one more thing I recently realized I’ve been hiding from everyone, including myself. I wasn’t brave enough to confess it at the podium, but I kinda think I should at least tell you now.”
Nolan stopped them in their tracks, spinning her so he could pin her with that yummy dominant look of his.
“You can tell me anything, Piper. We can’t have any more secrets between us.”
“I couldn’t agree more. That’s why I decided to be brave and tell you…” Piper paused dramatically before smiling. “I love you. Well, technically, I love The Rock,” she teased, “But since you’re kind of a package deal, I guess I can love all of you.”
Nolan’s eyes widened with surprise. Within seconds, Piper found herself scooped up, back into his arms as he took long strides toward the exit.
“I thought you wanted me to walk out of here on my own two feet.”
“That was before.”
“Before what?” she pressed.
“Before I made up my mind to jump your bones, the second we get into the back of the car. My driver is in for an eyeful.”
“That’s a great idea, but we should take my limo. It has a privacy screen.”
Chapter 26
Three Months Later…
* * *
“Good morning, sunshine. Today’s the big day!”
Nalani buried her face deeper into the crook of Shane’s neck, drawing in a long drag of the scent she loved so much—masculine, sexy—Shane. Like everything else in the past week, she worked hard to commit it to memory.
His excitement broke her heart. To be fair, a lot of things lately broke her heart. He sounded so happy as he droned on, talking about all the decorating decisions he had to make now that the contractors had finished the reconstruction of his massive Brentwood estate. It may only be twenty minutes away, but to Nalani, it might as well be another galaxy.
Shane stroked her shoulder lightly as he held her in his arms, lounging on the bed in the Paris suite at Runway. “The decorator is coming over tomorrow night at seven. I made the appointment late enough, we should both be able to make it home by then.”
Home. Such a confusing word for Nalani.
Her childhood home had been a nightmare. She’d bounced around until her small apartment over the vape shop had felt like home.
She was grateful that Shane and the Cartwright-Davidsons had made it possible she would never again have to step foot into the apartment where her life had changed irrevocably. There was just one problem. They’d packed up the belongings she didn’t use regularly and sent them to Shane’s house, waiting for today—moving day. That meant today was D-day. The day she’d dreaded for the last few weeks.
“I’m gonna go jump in the shower, then we can head out. I thought we could stop and pick up some pancakes on the way. I’ve been craving them since you mentioned them a few days ago.”
Shane started to pull out of their embrace, but Nalani held onto him as tight as she could, refusing to let him leave her.
“Kitten, we need to get a move on.”
Words failed her. The only thing Nalani was able to produce on cue these days were tears—more tears. She’d shed enough of those to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, she knew what Shane didn’t—there were more tears coming.
“Shane. I…”
“Hey, are those tears I feel on my chest? You have another nightmare?”
So loving. So Patient. A saint.
And that was the problem. The real Shane Covington—the man she’d fallen in love with—was far from a saint. This version of himself was a lie.
Okay, lie was wrong. If he was lying, it was to himself too.
He’d been her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming—her rock on her darkest days. She’d love him for the rest of her life, and that’s why she knew she had to follow through with her plan.
Be strong.
Step one—get the hell out of his bed.
Nalani pushed out of the safety of his arms, rolling to her side of the bed to stand.
Step two—distance.
She needed to put more space between them, taking off for the desk to retrieve the package she’d hidden in one of the drawers.
“Where you going, babe? I thought we were talking.”
Stay calm.
Once she had the small package, she took a deep breath and slowly turned to look back at the man who took her breath away—the man she loved more than anything in the world.
The man who deserved better.
Step three—break his heart.
“Shane, I’ve tried to come up with the right words a thousand times over the last week. I’ve known this big day was coming…”
“It is a big day. As awesome as it’s been living here at Runway together, I can’t wait to move into our own home.”
“See… that’s the thing. It isn’t my home. This is.” She waved her hands around her to indicate Runway.
“I know you’re afraid to leave the security this property provides you, but I told you, I’ve hired extra guards and invested in a top-of-the-line electronic security system. I promise you, you’ll be just as safe there as you are here.”
“It’s not that. Well, not entirely that. It’s… so much more.”
“Fine.” Disappointment was written on his face. “You aren’t ready, I’ll stay here too. I can wait to move.”
“No.” She pushed down her panic.
Just say it. Pull off the Band-Aid.
“You need to move. Not just
out, but on. I’ll be eternally grateful for having you in my life. I can’t even imagine going through what I’ve gone through without you by my side. I love you for all you’ve done, but this… you and me… isn’t going to work.”
“Are you fucking shitting me? You’re breaking up with me?” His voice cracked with emotion.
“No, but I am letting you go. You…” She stopped herself from finishing. He’d been so hard on her any time she’d hinted he deserved better than her, yet in her heart, she was certain it was true.
Today was not the day to hold back. She needed to lay it all on the line, so they both could get the closure they needed and move on with their lives… without each other.
Be brave.
“I adore you, Shane, but whether we like it or not, we were always a long shot. As much as I’d love to blame Henry Ainsworth for us not being able to be together, if I’m honest with myself, I know this day would have come, anyway. Hell, it probably would have already happened months ago!”
“What the fuck does that even mean, Nalani? Is this the ‘I’m only a housekeeper’ argument again? I’ve never once treated you differently because of your job.”
Shane pushed to his feet, pacing around the suite like a caged animal. It made it even harder for Nalani to remain calm. She’d expected this.
“No, you haven’t, and I love you for it. But you have treated me differently because of the attack.”
He stopped dead in his tracks, whipping his head up to pin her with an angry glare.
“Of course I have! What kind of monster do you think I am? You went through hell. All I’ve done is try to be there for you.”
She was botching this. She had practiced this speech in her head, over and over, grappling to find the right words.
“Shane, you’ve been perfect. Truly. But don’t you see? That’s the problem.” When he failed to reply, she finally spit out the root of her message. “The Shane I fell in love with is MIA. He’s been pushed out by this perfect version of you, who is so loving, caring, attentive.”
“Do you hear yourself? Are you really complaining because I’m too nice?”
“Here, now. Talking. No. No complaints. But…” Nalani paused, blushing, yet knowing it was time. “But in bed, at night, the real Shane is gone.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. What do you want from me? You’ve been through a horrific ordeal. Forgive me for wanting to give you time to heal before I do something that might bring back memories of the attack.”
Growling with frustration, she paced to the window, looking out onto the empty Runway driveway, blanketed in the hot May sunshine. It looked like a beautiful day, unlike the storm brewing in the Paris suite.
Taking a deep breath, she turned and pinned Shane with a glare she hoped hid how afraid she was.
“You’re right. The strangest things do trigger me. But here’s the thing, I’m not sure that’s going to end… like ever. Right now, you’re happy enough, but I know you, Shane. The real you, deep down, is not gonna be happy playing the Boy Scout in the bedroom forever.”
“Is that what this is about? I’ve been too nice?”
“Stop! Don’t twist my words. We both know you have needs… kinks I may never be able to participate in again.”
“I think the key word in that sentence is ‘may.’ You haven’t even tried yet, Nalani.”
“True, but are you really telling me you’re ever going to be able to unleash the real you again? I had to practically beg you to even make love to me again last week.”
“God, I hate being wrong.” Shane threw his arms up in the air and started his angry pacing again. “Dr. Carlisle warned me this was going to happen, and I was naive enough to tell her we were stronger than that.”
“Dr. Carlisle? You’ve been seeing a doctor?”
Shane froze, pinning her with an angry glare that took her breath away. They’d been so gentle with each other for the last three months, each of them afraid to say or do anything that would break the precarious path to recovery they were both on. The only time she’d seen Shane unleash his anger, it had been directed at Henry Ainsworth.
But today, she had no doubt his anger was definitely pointed squarely at her, and she hated it.
“Of course, I’m seeing a psych! The woman I love was brutally beaten and raped. I found her naked—almost dead—on the floor. I had to carry her broken and bleeding body into a hospital, praying I hadn’t found her too late. Forgive me for not being able to just know how to recover from that.”
Despite his obvious anger, her heart warmed at his passionate declaration of love, but she needed to harden her heart. It didn’t matter that he loved her. What was important was, she loved him enough to let him go.
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this hell too, but here’s the thing. You don’t need to. You saved my life. You’ve helped me through the hardest three months of my life. We both know this was doomed from the start, anyway. Now that your house is done, it’s time for you to get back to your real life.”
“My real life? What the fuck do you think this has been? A game?”
“A game, no, but I do think it was a diversion. A detour.”
Shane approached her, grabbing each of her biceps and squeezing hard as he yanked her close. She had to crane her neck back to look into his angry face.
“Tell me the truth. How much of this is because I’m famous, and how much is because of Ainsworth?”
“Does it matter?”
“Hell, yes, it matters.”
“I know you love me. I do. I love you too—so much, it hurts.” She felt the tears spilling over and down her cheek as she finished. “I just don’t think that’s gonna be enough.”
“This is bullshit. All this time, I’ve thought you were the strongest woman I knew. Going through all you have with your family as a kid and all that Ainsworth put you through. Are you telling me that was a lie? You’re gonna just run away from us?”
Her heart constricted with pain, remembering how supportive and understanding Shane had been when she’d told him every sordid detail from her childhood, growing up with drug dealers for family. He’d listened and held her, supported her. He hadn’t looked down on her or condemned her.
“I’m not that strong, Shane. I’m scared every day.”
“I know that! It’s why I’ve been gentle with you. Giving you time to heal, and now, you’re breaking up with me because of it!”
“You’re missing the whole point! I’m not glass. We can’t live like this, walking on eggshells… afraid to say something that will trigger the other person. I adore you for being so careful, and you’re not wrong. I have meltdowns on a whim. It’s just not fair to you.”
“I think you should let me decide what is and isn’t fair to me. I don’t think getting chucked to the curb just because I haven’t forced you to your knees to stick my cock down your throat until I choked you is fair either.”
His raunchy words shocked her. It was a tiny flash of the old Shane—pre-Oscars night Shane. Nalani waited for the panic to close in, but it didn’t come. If she were truthful with herself, the only tangible fear she had at that moment was she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life.
She squared her shoulders, determined to do the right thing for Shane, the man she loved.
“I’m sorry, Shane.” Nalani moved her hand up between them, shoving the small box she still grasped into his muscular chest, doing her best to fight back the tears she felt welling in her eyes. “I just can’t do this anymore. I know you think you love me, but this is what’s best. I know it in my heart.” The tears in his eyes broke her heart. There was nothing left to be said other than
“Goodbye.”
Nalani yanked herself free of his embrace, rushing to where she’d thrown her robe over the desk chair the night before, anticipating she might need it to make a quick escape in the light of day.
She half expected him to chase after her. Only when she got to the door and fumbled her way out
into the empty hall, she realized she had no real plan. She’d just closed the door on one of the most important relationships of her entire life, and as she stood in the long hall, looking around a place that had been both workplace and home, a wave of sorrow consumed her.
Like she had with Shane, she knew she would need to cut Runway out of her life as well. There would be too many memories to face every day here—good and bad. Leaving would be the only way to move on with her life.
* * *
Shane leaned out the driver’s side window to press the small button on the brick security stand outside Piper Kole’s exclusive five-acre beachfront property. He’d only been there once years before and wasn’t sure the actress was home, but since she hadn’t answered his multiple phone calls or texts in the hour since Nalani had blindsided him, his car had found its way here on its own.
One long buzz broke the quiet of the secluded neighborhood as he held the button down indefinitely.
“What the fuck! Who is it?” Nolan Boeing’s voice shouted from the small speaker next to the button.
“It’s me, Covington. I need to talk to Piper.”
“It’s not even eight yet. She’s sleeping.”
“Correction.” A softer, feminine voice could be heard in the background. “She was sleeping. Now she’s awake and needs caffeine.”
Nolan’s soft “fuck” coincided with the gates in front of his car swinging open. Shane gunned the engine, determined to get through before Boeing had second thoughts and closed them again.
He parked and spent a full three minutes standing at the huge double doors to the mansion before the lock could be heard disengaging, and a tired Nolan Boeing, wearing a robe, swung the front door open.
“What the hell is so important it couldn’t wait until this afternoon? We flew in from New York late last night and planned on staying in bed all day. I had fun plans for this morning if you get my drift.”
“Yeah, well, I had fun plans for today too, but they just blew up. It’s moving day, and Nalani gave me the boot instead.”
Shane hated the pity that filled Nolan’s eyes as his friend stepped back from the doorway and used his right arm to usher him in.