by Ellie Wade
I understand Lily’s desire to remain close with Jax, as friends. They’ve been best friends their entire lives. I felt the same with Landon. The year after we broke up was hard, but we were able to salvage our friendship.
Landon and I really got back to being us during my sophomore year. It was great to be real friends with him again. Landon and I had only dated for two months, and it still took what felt like years to get our friendship back completely. Jax and Lily dated for much longer, and their relationship has always been closer than mine and Landon’s. I can’t comprehend how Jax is marrying someone who isn’t Lily, and I’ll never understand why Lily feels she needs to be a part of the day.
“It’s all so strange,” I reply, mirroring Landon’s sentiment. “Have you gotten any more information out of Jax?”
“No, but something’s off. He’s not his normal self around her, and I feel like there’s something he’s not telling me. He’s very private where Stella is concerned, which is unlike him, you know?”
“Yeah, it’s weird, for sure. Well, there has to be memories that don’t include Lily.”
He nods. “I know there are. I’m just having a hard time thinking of them. Are you bringing Gage to the wedding?”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m going to end it this week. I don’t want him in our family pictures for all eternity when I know he’s not a keeper.”
“All right, good. Then, you can be my plus-one.”
I look to him in surprise. “What about Abby?”
He leans forward, twirls a big forkful of my noodles, and shoves them in his mouth. “Oh, we’re not together anymore.”
I laugh. “How long did that last? A month?”
“Less.”
“Landon Porter. Someday, you’re going to have to grow up and stop being such a player.” I chuckle.
“I will when I find a girl worth growing up for.” He takes another bite. “So, you’ll sit next to me and make sure I don’t say anything stupid. I might not agree with Jax on this, but it’s his life, and I’m trying really hard to be cool with it.”
“Okay, I will.” I take the fork from his hand and scoop up a bite for myself.
“We can also have our own little drinking game at the wedding,” he suggests with a smirk.
“What kind of drinking game?”
“Every time Jax longingly looks at Lily during the reception, we drink.”
I hit Landon’s arm. “That’s horrible! I’m not playing that.”
“Too much?”
I roll my eyes back. “Definitely. It’s actually quite depressing.”
“Fine. We’ll come up with another one.”
“Agreed.”
Landon grabs the remote control for the TV. “Do you want to watch a movie or something? I’m over wedding talk for now.”
I smile. “Yeah, sure. But my foot is throbbing. I need to put it up.”
Landon stands and helps situate me, so I’m lying down across the couch, my hurt foot resting between a large, fluffy pillow and a bag of ice. He then crawls in behind me, lying between me and the back of the couch.
Landon flips through the movie channels.
“Oh, Titanic!” I say when I see it on the movie guide.
“Ugh, not again,” he says dramatically, teasing me.
“You know it’s a classic. The question is … can I deal with Rose’s selfishness today? Or not?”
“Right?” he says mockingly. “You know that bitch had enough room on the door for Jack,” he repeats my complaint from every single time we’ve watched it.
I chuckle. “Fine. You’re right; I’m not in the mood for selfish tonight. Let’s find something else.”
“Good.” He starts looking through the channels again while whispering in a high-pitched voice behind me, “I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.” Then, in his normal tone, he says, “Liar,” causing me to laugh again.
Amy
Drinking games.
Um.
Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I finish wrapping my ankle and put my foot in my tennis shoe. They’re not the ideal shoes for a wedding, but my ankle is still pretty sore, and I don’t want to risk injuring it further. My long maxi dress is cute and acts as camouflage. I doubt anyone will even notice—especially not Jax or Stella.
Lily comes out of the bathroom. The sight of her makes me sad. She’s so beautiful and damn near perfect in every way. Her blonde hair falls in ringlets over her shoulders, and she’s still tan from the summer. She’s wearing a long, flowy dress. It’s pale pink and stunning. She looks like a Grecian goddess.
Her bright blue eyes sparkle when she asks, “You ready?”
“I am.”
“Good. I want to get there to get pictures of Stella as she gets ready.” She maneuvers around one of Gage’s boxes that he’s yet to come collect as she grabs her camera bag from the desk.
“Lil?”
She turns to face me.
“Are you sure about this? Are you okay?” I ask, concern in my voice.
She presses her lips together and pulls in a deep breath through her nose. “I’m fine,” she reassures me. “Let’s just get today over with, shall we?” She flashes me a forced smile before heading out of the room.
It’s going to be a long day.
The church is a short drive from my house. Minutes later we’ve parked and are heading inside.
“Hey, you. Looking good,” I say to Landon outside of the church.
He and the other groomsmen are having a beer on the lawn next to the entrance to the chapel.
“Same to you. Where’s Lil?” he asks, looking around.
“Taking pictures of Stella.”
Landon nods with a roll of his eyes.
“You’re starting a little early, aren’t ya?” I motion to the beer. “And in front of a church?”
“Hey, we’re all dealing with today the best we can,” he jokes. “You want some?”
He holds the beer out toward me, and I accept it, taking a sip.
I scrunch up my nose as I swallow, handing the bottle back to him.
“Still not a fan, huh?” He chuckles.
“No. Not at all. Do you remember my first beer?”
“The one at Danny Buchanan’s party?”
I nod. “Yep, the very one. Remember how you said I would acquire the taste?”
“Well, in my defense, most people do, especially during college.”
I shrug. “I was never a big drinker in college.”
Truth is, after my first big drunken experience my first day at school, I never really partied again after that. Any drinking I did was with Sebastian in my bedroom.
“True. You weren’t,” he agrees.
“Whatever happened to Danny? Do you talk to him anymore?”
“No. I never really liked him much. I heard he’d knocked some girl up in college and dropped out, and now, he’s been helping his dad on the farm.”
My eyes widen, and I stare at Landon. He pulls in a breath and uncomfortably looks from me to the beer in his hand. No one else would notice, but I see the remorse in his eyes. After a few seconds, I shoot him a smile, and he smiles back. In this moment, I have an intense urge to wrap my arms around him and hug him. But I don’t. Maybe it’s because of the other groomsmen standing here. Or maybe it’s something else.
I clear my throat before saying, “So, for the drinking game … no beer. Mixed drinks only. Or shots.”
“That could get dangerous and fast.”
I raise my shoulders. “What else have we got to do today?”
Landon supplies me with a deep laugh, and I can’t help but grin wide. His positive energy is contagious—always has been.
“Have you thought of what kind of drinking game we’ll be doing?” I ask him.
“No, but it will come to me.”
Our attention is drawn to the opening church doors. Out walks Jax.
“Hey, I’d better go find my parents.” I squeeze Landon’s arm. “I’ll see
you later.”
I give Jax an uneasy smile and a wave on my way into the church.
He smiles back, and it seems authentic. For some reason, it makes me sad.
After a beautiful, albeit awkward wedding, we’ve reached the fun part of the evening. Landon’s speech is over, and he did well. The obligatory stuff, like the couple’s first dance and cake-cutting, is finished. Now, it’s just the party.
I’m a couple of mixed drinks in already and feeling pretty good, sitting next to Landon.
He takes a sip of his beer. “So, you don’t want to do the longing looks between Jax and Lily?”
I hit his arm. “No. Gosh, no. That’s so depressing.”
“My little cousin, Anna, loves to sneak sips of her mom’s wine. We could drink every time she does?”
I shake my head. “No way because, if we see it more than a few times, we should probably go tell your aunt so that Anna doesn’t get sick. Right?”
“Fine. You’re so responsible,” he grumbles, scrunching his lips. “It’s no fun.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I’m not going to watch a nine-year-old get shit-faced.”
“When you put it that way …” He trails off.
“Exactly.” I giggle.
“All right. How about, every time we think of our exes, we take a drink?”
“Like, every time I think of Gage? That’s called a sober game, not a drinking game,” I protest.
Landon chuckles. “Okay. I’m drawing a blank with ideas. Well, the DJ says um a lot. Want to drink every time he does?”
“It’s kind of lame”—I shrug—“but I suppose that could work.”
“Well, do you have any ideas?” He nudges my arm and smiles wide.
He’s so beautiful that it makes my chest hurt, which throws me off guard.
It’s the liquor; it’s not my friend. Lowering one’s inhibitions isn’t usually a great thing.
“You’re looking at me funny.” Landon purses his lips. “What are you thinking?”
I close my eyes and shake my head. “Nothing. Let’s do the DJ thing. That’s fine.”
Landon lowers his gaze and leans in toward me. “Amy, tell me what you’re thinking.”
I bite my lower lip, moving my head from side to side in protest. A familiar pressure in my chest starts to expand through my body. It’s one I’ve felt many times over the years and always when Landon is near. Concentrating hard, I push it down, ignoring it, like I always do. Right now, I can barely breathe through the emotions swirling within.
“All right, well, after a dozen more ums from the DJ, if you feel like sharing your thoughts, please do.”
I simply nod.
Landon’s right. The DJ does say um a lot. My head feels very fuzzy, but I feel content. I look around for Lily. I haven’t seen her in a while.
“Where’s Lily?” I ask Landon.
“She left.”
“What? When?”
Landon casually tosses up his hands. “I don’t know. A while ago? She looked at Jax all funny and left really fast. He followed her out, returning a few minutes later without her.”
“Oh no!” I pull out my phone and text Lily.
She texts back almost immediately.
“What did she say?”
I look at Lily’s text. “That she’s tired and heading to bed. She’ll talk to me tomorrow, and she hopes I can get a ride back with someone.” I raise my gaze to meet Landon’s. “I told her I’d get a ride with Mom and Dad or Uber.”
“What about me?” Landon looks offended.
I laugh. “You are not fit to drive, my friend.” I playfully shove him in the shoulder.
“True,” he agrees.
“OMG! It’s ‘Baby Got Back’!” I shriek when the old-school song comes on as I start to dance in my seat.
“Let’s go dance,” Landon says.
“I can’t. I shouldn’t be dancing on my ankle.” I pout.
“I got ya.” Landon stands and lifts me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his back. He locks his hands underneath my butt, holding me up, and walks us out to the dance floor.
“This is so not ladylike!” I giggle.
“Who the fuck cares? Do you care?” He grins, and he jumps us around the dance floor.
Honestly, I don’t.
Landon swings and dips me as he dances us around in our own Drunken Dancing with the Stars—Sir Mix-a-Lot Edition.
More people are probably seeing my underwear than I’d care to admit, but tears are flowing down my cheeks from laughing so hard.
The song ends and is immediately followed by a slow one. I lay my head on Landon’s shoulder, and he softly sways us back and forth. He’s breathing heavy.
“Do you think our parents are talking about us?” I wonder aloud.
Landon and I have always been close, but our current dance routines are taking it to a new level.
“No clue. Not sure if they’re still here.”
“I love this song,” I say, my words coming out with a dreamlike quality.
“Who is it?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never heard it before.”
Landon laughs.
“I’m glad you didn’t bring Gage,” he whispers into my skin.
Goose bumps erupt down my neck and over my arms.
“I’m glad you didn’t bring Abby,” I whisper back.
Landon stops dancing. I lift my head from his shoulder to look at him. His gaze paralyzes me. His wide eyes, so full of emotion, send a rush of passion through me, so strong that I feel like crying.
“Why?” he asks.
“Why what?” I slowly lick my lips.
“Why are you glad I didn’t bring Abby?”
“I don’t know. Why are you glad I didn’t bring Gage?” I tighten my hold around his neck.
“Tell me,” he pleads softly.
In his expression, I see a side of him that I haven’t allowed myself to see in years.
“I can’t.” My voice cracks.
“Why not?” His hands squeeze my ass tightly, his fingers digging into my skin, and I want to moan out loud.
Right here.
In front of everyone.
More than anything, I want his hands to move around to my front. I want his fingers to explore below my dress.
Instinctually, I press my pelvis against him, needing to feel something to take the edge off of the ache.
Landon breathes heavily. “Amy.” My name is a plea, and I want so badly to answer it.
I stare into his hazels—now deep green with want. I don’t have the strength to care about something so trivial as consequences.
“Take me somewhere,” I whisper in his ear before gently biting his lobe, no longer able to quell this ache inside me that needs Landon more than I need my next breath.
He inhales sharply and walks us back over to the table. He sets me down, and my head spins. He picks up his phone and types something in before handing me my purse.
The DJ plays “YMCA,” and I see both sets of our parents on the dance floor with their arms flailing about to form letters. They’ve had quite a lot to drink tonight as well. I smile and shake my head. Landon says something to someone, and then he scoops me up again. My purse sways from my arm as he walks us out of the reception hall.
I know where this is leading. Foggy brain or not, I know. I feel I’ve known where this night was heading for a long time, maybe since that first sip of beer outside the church. I try to find the tiny part of me, deep down, that should be telling me to stop. I need that voice in my head to give me the willpower to tell Landon that I’m going home because that’s where I should be going. The thing is, I can’t find that voice in my head anywhere, and I’m starting to wonder why it was ever there in the first place.
Amy
Desperate kisses.
Frantic touches.
Truthful admissions.
Landon carries me outside and right into a small red car. I start to protest that he can’t
drive when I realize it’s an Uber driver.
He pulls the seat belt over my chest and snaps it into place. His lips drag against my neck until they’re up by my ear. “Gotta buckle up. You’re precious cargo, Ames.”
I never thought being referred to as a shipment of goods could turn me on so much. Yet, let’s face it, Landon could call me just about anything right now, and I’d find it hot.
Thankfully, Landon’s place isn’t far from the reception hall, and before I can even complete the fantasy that’s taking place in my mind, he’s pulling me out of the car. My arms wrap around his neck, and my legs circle his waist. His body is hard and warm against me. His chest presses against mine with each deep breath he takes.
He kicks the entry door closed with a thud that echoes loudly, mirroring the sounds of the blood rushing through my veins. A growl escapes his barely parted lips, and he pushes my back against the wall. His lips crash against mine, and I let out a gasp of pleasure, moaning into his mouth. The soul-devouring kiss frees years of want. My body is jelly, limp between the hard surface at my back and Landon’s body. He kneads the skin at my side, desperately pressing his fingers into my flesh, to the point of pain that only takes me higher. I claw at the back of his head, pulling him close, needing him closer.
His lips bruise mine. Our tongues clash as Landon’s plunges into my mouth again and again, moving with mine. The kiss is intoxicating.
“Amy,” he says in a tight voice between kisses. “Amy.” My name is said with such reverence.
“Landon.” I hold back a sob.
I run my palms down his arms. Reaching his waist, I force my hand down between us and cup his hard length beneath his suit pants.