I finish brushing my teeth, hoping that my toothbrush didn’t get dunked in the toilet and head out to say good morning to Gerald.
As I approach his enclosure, I see something white inside. I squint into the distance as I try to make it out. It looks like paper, but I don’t know what the hell it’s doing in there.
“What’s this?” I ask Gerald as I get closer. “Have you got something for me?”
I grab his breakfast and pull open the enclose before grabbing the piece of paper out. I flick it over to find the same handwriting as the last note I received.
‘You suck!’
A grin rips over my face as it all starts to make sense. Lex worked out that Gerald wasn’t some random snake slithering through her window and that’s why she was here, she wanted her payback, but it’s not over yet, not by far.
Just like the last one, I fold the note and slide it into my pocket before heading out the front door. I walk the familiar steps across to her place and knock on the door.
I wait a while and am about to knock again when she groggily pulls it open. “Ugh,” she groans, blowing me away with her radiance as usual. “What’s wrong? Did you forget how to barge in?”
“How’s your head feeling?” I smirk. “Did you have a good night?”
She narrows her eyes on me as she tries to work out my game plan. “I had a great night,” she tells me.
“Get up to anything in particular.”
Understanding flashes in her eyes but she keeps her cool. “No,” she says with a slight shake of her head as she does her best to appear innocent. “Nothing comes to mind.”
“Really?” I ask. “So, you didn’t commit any crimes? Didn’t break and enter anywhere?”
Her eyes widen in mock horror as she places a hand to her heart. “Me?” she questions. “Never.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket, press play, and turn it so she can easily see the footage of her running around my bedroom, stealing all my socks. “So, this isn’t you ransacking my house in the middle of the night?” At this, her eyes bug out of her head. She hadn’t expected me to have proof, even though we both know it was her. “Next time, don’t leave a note,” I tell her with a wink before bending and pulling her straight over my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she squeals.
I walk back over to my place, ignoring the way she pounds into my back. “You have a mess to clean up,” I inform her.
“What?” she groans. “I’m not cleaning it up.”
“And I’m not letting you leave until you do.”
I push through my door and set her down on her feet. She instantly props her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes on me. “I’d like to leave, please,” she demands.
“I’d like to brush my teeth without getting toothpaste all over my hands.”
A grin rips across her face and she chuckles to herself. Shit, she looks beautiful when she laughs. “That was good, right?”
“Yeah,” I say with a blank expression. “Hilarious.”
Her grin fades away and is replaced with a flirty smile that knocks me away. She steps into me and walks her fingers up my chest while batting her eyelashes at me, clearly knowing the sort of effect she has on a man. “I’ll make you a deal,” she says.
“Why do I feel this deal is going to suck?”
“Because,” she smiles getting a little closer and lowering her voice to a whisper. “It will.”
“What’s your deal?” I ask.
“I’ll put your place back together if you tell me something about yourself.”
There’s a hidden meaning beneath her eyes and I know exactly what it is she wants to know. I do my best to pretend I don’t see it. “There’s nothing to know,” I say, taking hold of her hand on my chest and slowly removing it as the feel of her touch is far too distracting.
“There is,” she says, not giving in.
I shake my head and the disappointment shines brightly in her eyes. She lets out a breath. “Fine,” she sighs turning away. She tucks her hands into her jacket pocket and quietly walks into the kitchen. I stand on the spot as she takes a few minutes fixing up all the things the girls had boobytrapped my house with.
As she reaches the bathroom, she turns back and looks at me with a knowing sadness.
The emotion in her eyes has me rocking back on my heels. I hadn’t been expecting that. It was raw and hard to watch and makes me want to do something about it. But the look in her eyes also suggests that she knows something that I hadn’t told her.
She saw my scars the other night and it’s only natural for her to go seeking out the answers I didn’t give. I know the girls would respect my privacy and not go blabbing about something that doesn’t involve them, but they would have shared their concerns with her, which would have only made her that bit more curious.
Nobody knows about my scars. They know the basic details of what happened over there, but not one of them know the extent of it, not even Jace. I’d never burden them with that, which is why I have no idea why the hell I’m walking down the hallway and leaning up against the frame of the bathroom doorway.
She stands in the shower, leaning against the wall as she peels off the labels of all the bottles. She looks up at me before focusing on her task and ignoring me.
I let out a sigh. “I don’t know how much the girls told you, but I’m a soldier.” She nods her head but keeps her attention on the shampoo bottle in her hand. I cringe to myself, still debating if I’m even going to do this, but now that I’ve started, I don’t think I can stop. Hell, I’m not even going to give her the short version. I’m going to let her know just how fucked up I am.
“A few years back, Jace and I were on our last tour in Iraq. We were about halfway through the tour when the car we were in hit a roadside bomb. We were lucky enough to be sitting in the back and both flew from the car before we suffered too much damage. We both came out with burns and flesh wounds. After that, we got out. We’d already done a few tours before that and Jace was adamant he was finished.”
She nods to signal she following along with the story. “You weren’t finished?” she supplies.
“No,” I tell her. “I wasn’t.”
Her eyes lift and she studies my face. “What happened to you, Luke?”
I pause for a moment. I’ve never told anyone this before and getting the words to come out seem to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“About a year ago, I left for another tour and for the most part, the tour was very similar to the previous ones. We got sent here and there and dealt with the situations that came our way. It was hard and really shitty at times, but I needed to be there.”
“I had a team of guys that I’d never served with before, but when you’re out there, you’re all each other has. I mean, it wasn’t the same not having Jace with me, but I wasn’t going to cry about it. Jace had done his time, and these guys quickly became my brothers. They had my back and I had theirs.”
She puts the shampoo bottles down and moves around so she sits on the edge of the bath. She looks up at me with these big blue eyes that are soaking in every piece of information that I can offer. “I’ve heard about the bonds you make with the guys you serve with,” she tells me.
I nod my head. “Like I said, they’re my brothers.”
She waits patiently for me to continue and I shuffle myself around so I’m standing before her in the bathroom. I lean against the wall and try to work out how to tell the next part of the story without terrifying her.
“Anyway, we had received some intel on a hostage situation and were tasked with the rescue mission. These guys were well known to us, so we knew we had to be smart about it.”
I pause for a moment and cringe before continuing. “We went in, but it was an ambush. They were waiting for us and instantly open fired. Jonesy didn’t stand a chance. He was shot down immediately and we had no choice but to retreat.”
“Shit,” she gasps with wide eyes. I glance down at her to see not
hing but pure panic and concern in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I agree. “One of the guys, Ben, it was his first tour. He’s one of the most loyal kids you’ll ever meet. He couldn’t leave without Jonesy, and honestly, neither could I, but I knew we didn’t have time. Jonesy was gone and we had to save ourselves.”
“Ben went back and was cornered.” I take a breath as the memory of the day is nearly too much to bear. “I couldn’t leave him. He would have died.”
With that, Lexi gets up and steps into me. She silently places her hand over my heart and patiently waits for me to continue. “I grabbed him and tried to pull him away, but he wouldn’t budge, not without Jonesy. I don’t know if the rest of the guys knew what was going on, or if they were even still there, but it only took two seconds before they were on us.”
“There were too many of them to fight off. They took our weapons and we were forced to the ground with guns at our heads. There was no way out, not without being killed, and I wasn’t ready to die.”
A tear falls from her cheek and she splays her fingers out across my chest. I focus on the feel of her touch as I know I’ll never get through this next part without it. “We were chained together and forced to carry Jonesy body back to this old warehouse which was infested with rats.”
“We were put in a holding cell with Jonesy’s body and hung by our wrists. With the heat, Jonesy’s body started decomposing and that attracted the rats and the flies.” I look away from her, too ashamed to face her as I tell her the most horrifying part. “For nearly three weeks, we were beaten, stabbed, whipped, and electrocuted. You name it, it happened. We had dirt kicked into our wounds, we were starved, and forced to watch as they used Jonesy as an ashtray.”
“Luke,” she cries as she steps in closer. I can’t resist wrapping my hand around her waist and holding her to me as she rests her head against my chest. “Three weeks?” she says.
“Three weeks,” I confirm.
“How… how did you…?”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like hearing a man you’ve fought alongside sobbing and wishing for death?” I ask. “It’s not something you ever forget. That sound kept me going. He was too young to go out like that and he couldn’t take much more. We were both getting sick and there came a day where they had grown tired of Ben’s sobs. They wanted me to put him down,” I scoff in disgust.
“That was the biggest mistake they ever made.”
“Did you…did you kill them?”
I hold her close, fearing this may be the last time she ever talks to me again, but I can’t lie to her. A shiver rocks through my body as I recall the moment I took their lives. “Yes,” I murmur quietly.
I feel her head moving against my chest as she nods.
Were both quiet for a moment and I let a breath out as the heaviness slowly begins to fade from my shoulders as though the burden has just been lifted.
She pulls back and drops her hand from my chest and it feels as though the loss of her touch burns me. Her eyes drop to my shirt and I watch as they move across my chest. “Can..” she cuts herself off with a cringe, but I know what she wants.
My heart rate rises, but I give her what she needs.
I reach the back of my shirt and shrug out of it. I toss it on the bathroom floor and watch as she studies my torso with her heart breaking. She reaches out for my chest once again and gently traces her fingers over the angry scars. “How long have you been back?” she questions as she places her whole palm down across my abs.
“About four months,” I tell her.
With a nervousness in her eyes, she steps in even closer so our bodies are pressed together, then looks up at me with those big eyes. “You’re a hero,” she tells me before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “You could have left Ben behind, or you could have given up, but you didn’t. You fought enough for both of you. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known.”
With that, she pushes away from me and walks out of the bathroom. I listen as her footfalls take her up the hallway and straight out the front door.
What I don’t expect, is how the sound of the door closing behind her has me feeling like I can’t let go. I should stay right here and think over what I just told her, take a minute to work out the thoughts going through my head.
But all I can think about is the way she took the pain away when she touched me. The way she looked at me, even after knowing that I’d taken a man’s life. The way it felt when I wrap my arm around her and the way she makes me see more than my fucked up past.
All those things have me stepping out of the bathroom and heading straight back up the hallway. I reach the door and rip it open before making my way to her. If Iraq taught me anything, it’s not to take the little things for granted and to never hold back.
Chapter 13
Lexi
My heart aches for the man I just left next door.
How could somebody possibly go through something like that and be strong enough to come out of it the way Luke has? He truly is the bravest man I have ever known.
Something clicked within me as he was telling me his story. My heart broke and I couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. I could never come close to imagining the kind of pain he endured, but I feel as though I understand him now.
It finally makes sense that he is the way he is.
He’s this hard man on the outside who takes no shit from anybody, but then he has these rare moments when all his troubles fade away and he grins like a child on Easter morning who just remembered he has an Easter egg hunt to enjoy.
Those rare moments always seem to come out when he’s messing with me or acting as though he’s a stubborn ass, which I now realize is in fact acting. He’s not an ass at all, he just has a hard exterior that I have no doubt has only become so hard during his time in Iraq.
Fuck. I can’t even comprehend what he went through.
I stand in my living room and I sink to the floor. My heart doesn’t know how to handle it. I tried my hardest to remain strong for him when all I wanted to do was break down and cry.
It’s almost as though he could read me, that he knew I needed him to hold me. I don’t even remember moving towards him, but somehow, I did. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me as I listened to the rapid beat of his heart. He was the one going through turmoil, yet I’ve never been so comforted in my life.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked to see his scars. It was incredibly insensitive of me and the second I asked, I felt awful. He probably thought I was prying, but then he went and surprised me as he reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head.
He bore his soul to me and stood there, vulnerable, as he showed me the extent of his pain. He didn’t go into detail about how the torture happened and I’m glad he didn’t. I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it, but from the way his body is covered with angry scarring, he didn’t need to. I can see for myself. But seeing the scars that are left behind is nothing to what he would have witnessed and felt.
All I wanted was to hold him, even now, I want to go back over there and cling to him. Who would have thought that the man who has driven me to near insanity over the past few weeks was capable of bringing such emotion out of me?
It’s surprising how he’s so easily slotted into my life and after talking with the girls last night, it’s becoming more and more clear that he cares for me, even though he has a weird way of showing it. Every single time I’ve been in trouble or needed even the slightest help, he’s been there.
Not once did he have to help me. I never asked for it, but he’s always there. And while he’s stubborn and infuriating, he’s always gentle and caring. I mean, I’m certain I fell asleep on the floor last night, yet I woke in my bed. The house was locked up, the speaker was missing, and the lights were out. It had to be him, there’s just no other option.
I sit on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around them. I rest my chin on my knees and let out a sigh. Would it be wrong for me t
o go back over there?
I don’t have to wonder for long when my front door is thrown open.
My head snaps up and I look at the man who stands in the doorway, still shirtless, looking as though he’s been wondering the same damn thing.
He walks towards me and I get to my feet. “What are you doing here?” I question quietly.
He doesn’t respond, just keeps coming.
He reaches me and without a word, brings his hand up and wraps it around the back of my neck. His thumb runs up and down my skin in a caress as his eyes bore into mine.
It’s intense. My heart races and my eyes search his.
I suck in a breath as he pulls himself closer. He looks just as confused as I feel, but that doesn’t stop him. He walks me backward until my back is pressed right up against the wall. His other hand comes to rest on my waist and he slides his fingers under the hem of my shirt. His touch is rough, but gentle at the same time and I don’t miss how he treats me like a precious piece of crystal.
I gasp as my mind catches up with what’s happening, but he doesn’t give me a chance to think. His lips come down on mine.
I melt.
The feeling flooding through me is something I’ve never felt before and it’s terrifying.
I haven’t been touched by a man in four years and the second he touched me, my body came alive. His hands wind down my body and grasp me around my back before pulling me in harder against him.
His overwhelming scent wraps around me and I feel as though I could drown in it. What’s happening? Just moments ago, this guy drove me insane, in fact, he still does, but as he touches me, I completely lose all train of thought.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against my lips.
Tell him to stop? No. That would be devastating. I didn’t know I needed it, but now that I’ve experienced his touch, I might die without it.
“I can’t,” I pant as my hands roam up his solid chest.
A low groan comes from deep within his chest and I feel it vibrate against my hands. The sound has an ache bubbling up in my stomach that makes me crave it that much more. I don’t understand what’s happening, but then, I don’t want to know. I want nothing more than to lose myself in Luke, if just for today.
Luke: Rebels Advocate (Book 3) Page 9