by Mark Cassell
Copyright © Mark Cassell 2014
The right of Mark Cassell to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the Author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
ASIN: B00NAAIEE6
Paperback version available: ISBN 978 0 9930601 0 6
CONTENTS
Old sins cast long shadows
The darkness enfolded him as his eyes glazed over.
Monday
. . . the scar, the way it cleaved his face
from forehead to chin, was ugly.
Tuesday
Knowing a bullet lurked a mere trigger-pull
away, a coldness ran through me.
Wednesday
I closed the book and ran my fingertips along
the spine and across the strange symbol.
Thursday
The skin wrinkled, tight to the bone,
and grey as storm clouds.
Friday
Shadows . . . snaked around furniture
and drooped from the ceiling.
Saturday
. . . he clawed the air with nails chipped and raw.
And like this to infinity
That’s all there was. Darkness.
Old sins cast long shadows
– early 20th-century proverb
VENEERS
Unable to blink, I shot a quick glance around the dining room. My heartbeat stormed my head. I had to get out of there, I had to leave the other men to it. These brothers had a lot of hate to throw around.
The black fabric draped across the table and chair, tracing every contour. It flowed over the wood like liquid. Hugging tight whatever it touched, it turned everything into a shadow, a silhouette, a featureless dark blot of its former self. The way it moved defied physics.
My throat clamped around a cry that came out a whimper.
I had no idea what Stanley intended. The strange fabric didn’t travel far from his hand, and where the material ended, it rippled and pulsed, pulling further away, yet unable to claim more of its surroundings. The more it unfolded, the dimmer the room became. My skin itched as it sapped the light.
Victor and Stanley stood facing each other: Victor, with his eyebrows pushed together, the ornate blade clenched in a fist, and Stanley, with his jaw tight and a twitch at the edge of his mouth. In Stanley’s grasp the fabric quivered, its material reminding me of the way midday sunlight reflects from the surface of a swimming pool, the ripples a criss-crossing of movement. It was peaceful to behold, hypnotic almost. But this thing was dark and stifling to observe.
There was nothing remotely tranquil about this.
I wanted to leave them to whatever absurd game this was…yet my feet refused to move. The familiar ache in my knee rushed through my body, drumming in my skull, telling me I was useless. Since the car accident the knee often was useless. I couldn’t leave Victor, I knew that. The man looked as terrified as I felt.
“I hate you, Victor.” Stanley’s nose was no more than a thumb’s width from his brother’s.
“No,” Victor gasped. His hand shook, his knuckles whitening around the knife. “Don’t!”
I didn’t know who or what Victor spoke to. Was it Stanley? The shadows? The knife?
In a blur of darkness, shadows coiling his arm, the blade slammed into Stanley’s chest. Blood spread and he staggered back.
Victor’s eyes widened. Clutching the weapon, he stumbled from the fireplace, away from his brother. The knife slid out, sucking at the wound. A jet of scarlet misted the air, and then oozed.
I could only see darkness…so much darkness, and my lungs went tight.
The fabric—the Shadow Fabric—closed around Stanley’s buckling legs.
The remaining material swept from the table, away from the violin case. Black tentacles whipped and grabbed Stanley. The darkness enfolded him as his eyes glazed over. It dragged his body along the carpet a short distance and tightened its grip.
My jaw muscles twitched as I clenched my teeth.
The Fabric began to shrink. Still in its embrace, the last I saw of Stanley was his dead stare.
“Vic…” I whispered, and gripped the back of the sofa.
My boss dragged his eyes away from the retreating shadows and stared at the knife. Behind him, the mantel clock hammered out several seconds before the weapon slipped from his hand onto the carpet, where it bounced with a red splash.
He fell to his knees. “Oh God.”
The Fabric vanished.
I dashed across the room as much as my leg would allow and staggered to a halt beside him. Sobs wracked his frame as I grasped his bony shoulder.
On the table next to where Stanley had been standing was the violin case, still open like a crooked yawn.
A million thoughts tumbled through my head, but I couldn’t find the words. I’d been Victor’s chauffeur for no more than a day, and already I’d witnessed him stab his own brother. What the hell?
I don’t know how long I remained like that, holding him, with light creeping reluctantly back into the room. Victor shouldn’t have been surprised that the shadows had taken his brother. After all, those shadows—the darkness—are associated with all that is dead…or should be dead.
Silence clogged the air like we were buried in a tomb.
For some of us, there is a moment in our lives where all we’ve believed real is whipped out from under us and we’re left to survive in a world that’s a lie. All the things in life we’ve taken for granted are sheathed in a weak veneer, behind which stands the shadows.
For me, this was one of those moments.
CHAPTER 1
36 hours earlier
Monday
After a year travelling the world, I stood before Periwick House, a retreat used for long-weekends by those wanting to ease off the accelerator of modern life. In rural Kent, such quiet-time could be found. I had no choice other than to be there; it’s where I lived. I was one of two men who did, the other being the owner of the place, Richard Goodwin. The remaining rooms were for visitors.
Three storeys, with a hint of Georgian influence, the House stretched up and outward. Its terraces and sweeping wings clawed into the woodlands and surrounding grounds. In keeping with the original architecture, various annexes and extensions provided the services expected of any retreat: a restaurant and bar, a pool, a gym, spa and beauty treatment rooms.
I squinted. Perhaps some of the first floor rooms had new curtains. It was difficult to tell with sunlight glinting off the windows. On the roof, the weathervane looked like it had been polished, or even replaced.
It’s the only home I could remember. Not for much longer, though. Having lived there for two years, one of which spent travelling, I needed—finally—to go it alone. It felt good to be back, that I couldn’t deny. And strange, certainly, after such a long time away. I’d left England to discover myself, but still the frustrations remained.
Spring sunshine pressed on my neck as I headed for a weathered table where a jug of orange juice and two glasses waited. I shrugged off my rucksack and swung it to the ground.
Further out in the gardens was Neil, half-swallowed by daffodils, and as gangly as the saplings behind him. It was
Monday, and his passion for the job was evident as always. He pushed the barrow with his back straight and chin high. We acknowledged each other with a nod.
“Leo!” a voice bellowed from behind me.
I turned and shook hands with Richard Goodwin, the only family I had and we weren’t even related. He hadn’t changed since I last saw him. Yes, this was my home. Kind of.
Cigar smoke hung around his shiny dome, stifling the scent of mown grass. Topped with a contagious grin, his roundness creaked into a chair. He squashed his cigar into the ashtray and looked at me. “It’s good to have you back.”
“Good to be back.” I sat opposite him and watched cigar smoke spiral and disappear. The chair, although hard, was more comfortable than the one I had been squashed into on the aeroplane a few hours before.
Goodwin poured the juice and handed me a glass. I mimed a ‘cheers’.
My parents had died sometime in a past I didn’t quite remember. Having made a promise to a family I had no knowledge of, this man gave me a room at the House. It wasn’t just my family I couldn’t remember, I didn’t even remember me. I knew only what Goodwin had told me after I bombarded him with questions. In the early days, I was surprised my persistence hadn’t annoyed him. If it did, he never once showed it. Everything he shared was as though he spoke of someone else. It was weird. There were blanks up until the car accident, gaping chasms throughout my life. That’s why I called this my ‘new’ life. I had recollections of various childhood memories, yet little in the adult bracket. I was able only to recall snippets and fragments. Goodwin once took me to the house where I grew up, yet nothing remotely stirred my memories. According to him, as soon as I was old enough, I’d moved out and didn’t have much to do with my family. And so, he couldn’t help me with my latter years.
My past, like a jigsaw bought from a charity shop, was untrustworthy.
I often found that curious. Why wouldn’t I have much to do with my family? Did I disown them? Did they disown me? There was only so much Goodwin could tell me. Whenever I tried to piece anything together, my head wanted to cave in.
Goodwin nodded. All I’d known was this man’s generosity.
“Thanks for having me picked up,” I said. “Appreciate it.”
“No problem.” He leaned forward.
“What is it? You excited to see me?”
He laughed. “I have a job for you.”
“Oh?” I almost choked. This was unexpected. “Already?”
“I will ask how your travels were in a minute, Leo.”
“Straight to the point.” I wanted to relax after the flight, uninterested in talk of work.
He knocked back his juice, immediately topped it up, and held the glass in both hands.
“Tell me more then.” I looked beyond him; the House loomed over us. I needed to start a new life.
“His name is Victor Jacobs and he needs a driver. A chauffeur.”
I tapped a finger against my glass. Sunlight lanced from the rim. “Been a long time since I worked.”
“You remember anything?” Goodwin placed his drink down. “From before the accident?”
“Something with cars, maybe. Still not sure. If I really, really think hard, I can see a car park.”
He didn’t blink.
“But that could mean anything.” I shrugged and clenched my teeth. After all this time the frustrations remained. “Goodwin, my past is still a mystery…. Tell me about this Victor guy.”
“The man runs plenty of errands in his line of work, dealing with antiques.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say. After a year, I didn’t expect this as a first conversation. But, at least it was a step towards a new life.
“And tell me, how were your travels?”
I leaned back and the chair groaned. With birdsong a chorus from the trees, enhanced by the aroma of grass and the juice set before us, I felt refreshed. I’d almost forgotten how this place felt.
“Apart from food poisoning in Vietnam,” I said, “it was inspiring.”
“Good.”
A pair of wood pigeons flew across the eaves. My forehead prickled with sweat.
“Was educational,” I added. “Eating different foods, meeting different faces.”
“A different world?”
I nodded. “Thanks to you.” It was a simple coupling of words, often overused. This man had paid for my trip, a round-the-world ticket to go wherever I wanted. All at his expense. The card statements must’ve contained row upon row of acronyms followed by numbers, beginning a year before at Heathrow with GBP.
Thanks to Goodwin, I had twelve months’ worth of crazy tales and amusing anecdotes. There were times of sadness and hilarity, tears and inspiration. I wanted to tell him of my moments of confusion, doubt, and denial, of how it soon became a journey of self-discovery, to learn of a new me…even though I couldn’t remember the old one.
Goodwin scratched his cheek. “A year is a long time to recount over a glass of juice.”
“I wrote a journal…kind of. Lots of scribbles.”
His head tilted. “That’s good.”
“Might let you read it,” I said. Mostly it contained a load of shit, I knew that. Full of hazy memories. Some I even doubted were real. In truth, they felt like dreams.
“Only if you wish.” From his pocket, he pulled a cigar case and a disposable lighter. Moments later, he grunted amid a plume of white smoke.
“Got something for you.” I dragged my rucksack towards me. After a rummage in the front pocket, I handed him a small packet. “Nothing much. Just something to say thanks for everything.”
He beamed and unwrapped it. Perhaps he took his time, but for me time seemed to slow down. It was starting already. Being there, at the House, everything always slowed down.
Sunlight glinted off the contents finally dropping into his palm: a Zippo lighter. He read the engraving: Godwin. A Good Friend.
I stared at it. Already it felt like ages ago when I’d bought it, trying to get the man behind the counter to understand me.
Goodwin laughed. “Thank you, Leo. Thank you. Godwin?”
I shrugged and took a gulp of my drink. “Got it in Hong Kong.”
“It’s great, thank you.”
We finished our drinks in silence. Again it was as if time dragged its heels through the gardens.
Eventually, Goodwin slid his chair back. “Come on.”
We trod the gravel path separating Periwick House from the gardens, which would eventually take us round to the main entrance. Towering conifers hid the rest of the complex from view—I’d always called this place a complex, whereas others called it a retreat, which was more accurate. It was, after all, a retreat for those seeking escape from the world beyond these trees. I simply wanted to escape from the House itself. Not long treading the countryside soil, and already I wanted out. I had no past, no home to go to. Something was missing. Although I had Goodwin to thank, there was something not quite right for me here. It was like my brain couldn’t breathe.
A short distance from the approach to the House, running parallel with the drive, I heard the rhythmic beat of a tennis ball. The year before, Goodwin hired me a coach, but it wasn’t my thing. It didn’t help that after the accident my knee wasn’t up to anything strenuous.
Through the chain-link fence, behind the courts, a horse and rider cantered towards the stables on the edge of the woods. Riding, that I could do—easy on the injury, provided I didn’t stand on the stirrups for too long. Next to the courts stood a shed that hadn’t been there before, and on its door a poster proclaimed a concert was being held at the House that coming Saturday: New Tide Chamber Orchestra. On the far side of the gardens a line of oaks gave way to white canvas. It was an impressive marquee which definitely hadn’t been there a year ago. I guessed that was where the concert would be held.
Several more strides took us beneath the portico to the House’s entrance, flanked by bay windows which felt absurdly like open arms. On the o
ther side of the doors, I met Dean, the manager, and we shook hands. He greeted me as Goodwin pushed his cigar into a trough of sand. With manicured fingers, he handed me a keycard and I thanked him. Dean was the sort of guy who wore too-tight trousers and never needed a shave. He’d grown his hair longer.
Goodwin said goodbye and I watched him walk to his office. I glanced at Dean whose grin annoyed me. Pursing my lips, I slowly breathed out.
So, there I stood, inside the lobby of my home. A marble floor stretched before me, ending in a mahogany reception desk. To the right, Goodwin’s office door closed behind him. Beside the door was the restaurant and bar area, and further to the rear, a swimming pool. Off to the left were beauty treatment rooms and the spa, the gym and the fitness studio. It all linked round to the pool. I looked forward to getting back into the gym, and the pool. On my travels, I’d kept up with my fitness as much as possible—though I found it hard when a foreign city begged exploration. Even after all the exploring, nothing had cleared my mind to help me piece together memories.
Dean returned to the desk. It was tidier than it used to be.
Beside him, a marble staircase swept up to the bedrooms. The way it twisted into the ceiling always made me think of a spiny tail of some great beast. Up in its belly was my room: the Vivaldi Suite, number thirteen. Goodwin had number one—the Holst Suite—which left the others for visitors to enjoy solitude, spiritual awareness, and personal enlightenment.
Enlightenment, that’s what I needed. That, and my memories.
I was home, though I felt like a visitor.
CHAPTER 2
I didn’t get to relax much on my first day back in the UK. In the afternoon, I was in London meeting Victor at his flat. I immediately got the impression Goodwin had convinced his friend that I was right for the job. Having known Goodwin for two years—even though he’d known my family my entire life—I found it curious he’d never before mentioned Victor.