It took two good tugs before it broke free from the melted plastic and metal. Then, I doused the flames with baking powder until they died completely.
Coughing, the three of us fled out of the back room. Even though it was a small fire, the smoke filled the tiny space quickly and thoroughly.
Every customer was on their feet, peeking in at us. “Are you okay?” Tony asked me.
I checked my hands for burns. There was a small one on my thumb where I had yanked the grinder away from the flames, but other than that, I seemed okay. I nodded. “Yeah. How about you?”
“I’m fine,” he said and Lana nodded.
“Me, too.”
I glanced around at the murmuring customers. “We should probably get them out of here and close the café down,” I said. “It’s probably safe now, but just in case.”
Lana nodded. “Dammit. We were supposed to be making today easier on Lex.”
“Poor guy,” Tony added. “Quite a day. His ex is being sent to prison, he’s meeting his daughter for the first time, and we nearly burned down his bakery all in one day.”
Every muscle in my body stiffened. “What did you say?” I asked.
Lana’s eyes drifted closed. “Tony, you dumbass.”
Tony winced, scrubbing at his morning stubble with his palm. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”
There was too much to unpack with what Tony had just revealed. Lex’s ex is going to prison? He has a daughter? I had more questions than I even knew how to ask. But instead, I cleared my throat and said, “It’s none of my business, really.”
Lana narrowed her eyes at me. “I call bullshit on that. It might be new… but there’s something between you, isn’t there?”
How the hell would she know? She’d never even seen us together. I sighed. “Who wants to be the one to call him to tell him about the fire?”
Lana and Tony looked at each other before each calling out, “Not it!” in unison. Then, both of their eyes fell to me.
“This is the sort of news that comes best from someone you’re sleeping with,” Lana said, smiling.
“We’re not sleeping together,” I said sharply. It was none of their business even if we were sleeping together.
“Okay,” Tony said. “Then, it’s the kind of news that comes best from someone you want to sleep with.” Tony held up his hand to stop me as I opened my mouth to protest. “And don’t try to say he doesn’t want to. Lex is one of my best friends. Trust me… he wants to.”
13
Lex
“Don’t be nervous,” Brady said, leaning into me as we sat next to each other on the hard wood benches of the courtroom.
I nodded, yet sweat pushed through my pores, and my heart raced within my ribcage. How the hell could I not be nervous?
When London was brought in—or rather, Sarah— her face was gaunt. Her sallow cheeks were sunken in and there were sores on her arms and chin. She wasn’t the woman I once knew. Or… maybe she was. Maybe I used to look like that, too, and just had no idea what the drugs were doing to my body or hers. A lump lodged in the center of my throat. She didn’t see me. She didn’t look like she saw anyone in that courtroom. Her glassy eyes were vacant, even when they landed on an older woman sitting just behind her. The woman brushed back her blondish, gray hair, waved and gave a sad smile, clutching the tissue in her palm like it was a life preserver and she was clinging on for dear life.
The bailiff entered, standing rigidly beside the podium. “All rise. Judge Levinson presiding.”
The first half of the court preceding went quickly, as Brady told me it would. Arraignments aren’t trials. It was likely that Sarah wasn’t even fully detoxed yet. Sarah. Sarah. It was going to take a while to get used to saying her real name. Bail was set at ten thousand dollars and I saw the older woman cringe, sniffle, and press the tissue to her nose.
The judge lifted a sheet of paper and held it up to his eyes. His glasses were dangling off the tip of his narrow nose, and it looked like all it would take was a slight tilt of his head to make them slip off entirely. “It’s been brought to my attention that the father of Ms. Murphy’s child saw the abandonment ad in the paper and is here today. Is that true?”
Brady put a hand to my shoulder and we both stood. I had never been a person who sought out the spotlight. In high school, I never played in the band or did theater or sports. I was a loner. I painted. I helped my parents cook in their restaurant on the weekends. Baked with my grandmother. But being the center of attention was not something I craved. And as the butterflies flipped in my stomach, I remembered why.
“Yes, your Honor,” Brady said as he stood and I did the same. “My client, Alexander Bailey, is here today to claim paternity of his daughter.”
Sarah’s head whipped around, and suddenly, that vacant look in her eyes was wild. Her nostrils flared as her gaze landed on me, her jaw clenched. She launched to her feet and pointed. “What in the hell is he doing here?” she shouted.
The older woman that I assumed was Sarah’s mother leaned over the wooden partition. “It’s his right to be here, honey.”
“Like hell—”
The judge slammed his gavel onto the desk. “Order! Order in this courtroom.”
“He should be the one going to prison. He didn’t even want our daughter!” When she pointed at me again, her fingers were trembling uncontrollably.
“Mr. Colten, I suggest you get your client under control. One more outburst and she’s going to be held in contempt.”
Her lawyer leaned over to her, whispering something in her ear. She lowered her hand from where she was pointing at me, but her eyes didn’t budge. Not one bit. They were fixed on me and filled with hate. Hate and anger and… tears. Tears that ripped my heart in two. I was angry she had kept me from my daughter … but I could also understand why. She didn’t know the man I’d become. And the man I used to be… he scared her. He scared me, too, if I was being honest.
“As we were saying. In order to claim paternity of Olivia Roxanne Murphy, the court will need a DNA sample. Is this something you are willing to provide the court?” the judge asked.
Brady looked at me, giving me an encouraging nod to answer the judge. “It is, Your Honor.”
“Does this please the current guardians of Olivia Roxanne Murphy?”
The older woman stood, still wringing the tissue in her hands. “It does, Your Honor. With the history of drug use, we also wanted to add to that, a drug test.” She glanced briefly at me, her eyes tilted down, a frown marring her face. She looked more than just sad or worried. She looked distraught. From across the room, I gave her a small smile and a quick nod—a small gesture, but the meaning behind it went deep. The gratitude I felt inside was more than I could ever verbalize to the grandmother of my child. Not every grandparent would let me meet my daughter today. Not every grandparent would be willing to communicate with mediators outside of the court. I had no doubt this wouldn’t be easy, but so far, it was more than I’d ever hoped for.
The judge glanced at Brady first, then me. “Is this something you would be willing to do?”
I nodded. “It is, Your Honor.”
“Great.” The judge slapped the paperwork down. “I trust the rest of this can be settled in mediation or family court.”
I don’t remember what else was said in the rest of the arraignment. My mind was reeling, drifting off into a million other places. After this, we were going to the lab to give my DNA sample, and there at the hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy were going to allow me to meet Olivia in a supervised visit. How could I ever concentrate on what was happening in front of me knowing I was minutes away from meeting my daughter?
Next thing I knew, people around us were standing, exiting. Sarah was being led away, off to somewhere in a back room. No, not just a back room. Jail. My ex-girlfriend was going to jail. And frankly, it could have just as easily been me in that orange jumpsuit. I was just fortunate enough to have gotten sober and stayed sober.
<
br /> “You ready?” Brady asked for what felt like the millionth time this morning.
With a deep breath, I pushed off my knees and stood, making eye contact with Mrs. Murphy. We met in the center aisle and she eyed me carefully. But she looked nice. Maybe friendly. Then again, my intuition about people had been wrong in the past. At any minute, she could turn on me and attack. Right now, she held all the cards… and she knew it. But I also think she knew she wouldn’t hold them for long. As soon as that paternity test came back, my stake in this game grew.
“Mrs. Murphy,” Brady said and awarded her with one of the most dashing smiles I’ve ever seen. Granted, I hadn’t known this lawyer more than a couple days, but he knew how to charm people, that was for sure. “We spoke on the phone yesterday. I’m Brady Goldman.”
She smiled, and though it was tired, it also looked genuine. She was older than my own mother by maybe ten years—she looked like she was in her late sixties or early seventies. Far too old to be chasing after a toddler. And with each step, she limped a little.
Her eyes met mine and her smile widened. “You’re Alexander?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said. “Everyone calls me Lex.”
“Lex,” she repeated as though trying my name on for size. “How… British.”
“Well,” I shrugged and gave a little laugh. “That is me.”
We followed the line of people out of the courtroom into the open hallway. “I’m so sorry about…” I paused, stopping myself from calling her London. “Sarah.”
The corners of her eyes tightened. “Yes. Well, I hate to say it, but we’re sort of used to it with her by now.” Then, she paused and glanced at me. “She went by another name when with you, didn’t she?”
I startled at that, but eventually nodded. “She called herself London when we were… together.”
“How long were you two dating?”
Dating. I’d never once taken Sarah on a date. Dating for us mostly involved shooting up at home. Occasionally ordering takeout when we had the extra money. Watching TV when the cable wasn’t shut off. “We were together for a while,” I said. “A few years before she left.”
“You seem… nice.” Her eyes traveled the length of my body, sizing up every inch of me, from the side part in my smoothly combed hair, down to the little scuff on my black dress shoes. The only dress shoes I owned. As a baker, I didn’t have a lot of reason to dress up in more than jeans and a t-shirt most days. “You’re not at all what we expected. Not from what Sarah told us.” Another pause. “Except your eyes. She said you always had the kindest eyes, even when you weren’t being kind.”
I swallowed hard and felt the lump land heavily in my stomach. What was I supposed to say to that? Thank you? It didn’t exactly feel like a compliment. Mrs. Murphy was guarded around me. Then again, why shouldn’t she be?
“I’ve made many mistakes in my life—”
“Okay, Lex,” Brady cut me off and sent me the fastest death glare I’ve ever seen.
Don’t admit to anything, he had told me in the car. Don’t give them any reason to not award you this custody unless they point blank ask about your past. It was hard as hell for me. I prided myself on the fact that I learned from my mistakes. And part of learning from your mistakes was owning up to them. While I wasn’t proud of who I was back then, I was proud of how far I’d come. And frankly, I think Mrs. Murphy would be, too. Especially knowing how Sarah had struggled with sobriety. Then again… I was privileged. If I’d had sole custody of our child and was paying for everything on my own, perhaps I would have fallen off the wagon, too.
But truly, in my deepest soul, I didn’t believe that. Having Olivia would have made me want to be a better dad. A better person. A father she could be proud of.
“I’m so grateful that you’re letting me meet Olivia today,” I said. “I’ve been dreaming of this for what feels like forever. A day hasn’t passed since I knew of her existence that I haven’t wondered about her. What her name is, whose eyes she has, whether she got my brown hair or Sarah’s blonde—”
“You didn’t know Olivia’s name?” Mrs. Murphy interrupted.
I shook my head. “No, ma’am. I knew nothing of Sarah’s or Olivia’s whereabouts. Except this.” I reached into my back pocket and from my wallet pulled out the ultra sound and the envelope and the short letter Sarah had sent with it. “All I had for two years was this ultrasound with the doctor’s name sharpied out. And the city stamp from a town called Maple Grove. When I got this, I packed up my stuff and moved to Maple Grove to search for Sarah.”
Mrs. Murphy shook her head and as a tear fell down her cheek, she swiped it quickly away with her knuckle. “Sarah told us she called you every day for months and that you were impossible to track down. She said that when she finally did talk to you, you wanted nothing to do with Olivia. You didn’t even want her picture.”
I winced and with a quick glance at Brady, he gave me the nod, telling me to go ahead. He’d heard this already and approved what I was allowed to say. It was like we were in a play with rehearsed lines. I hated it. “That’s not true at all. But I don’t doubt that’s what Sarah thought would happen if she did talk to me. In our time together, I’d never given any indication that I wanted kids or that I would be anything near a good father. But… the second I got this letter with the ultrasound, all that changed.”
“You seem like a good man. Like my husband.” She smiled, still clutching the tissue in her hand. “He wanted so badly to be here at Sarah’s arraignment today, but one of us needed to stay with Olivia. I hope you understand why my husband and I are so cautious.”
“Of course.” I smiled. “It’s your granddaughter.”
She nodded. “And she’s an amazing one. You’ll see. But we’re getting old, my husband and I. We want to be grandparents. Not parents. That doesn’t mean we won’t do it… if we have to. But when we got the call from your lawyer… Lex, it gave us such hope.”
She reached out her hand and I took it, tears filling my eyes. It was everything I’d been waiting for. Sarah had always said her parents were such awful people. That they hated her. They didn’t seem awful. They seemed… wonderful. Mrs. Murphy squeezed my hand.
I cleared my throat, saying, “I hope you know, I’m not looking to take Olivia away from you. Or Sarah, even. I just… I want a relationship with my daughter. I want to raise her. Be a dad.”
Mrs. Murphy rolled her shoulders back and stood a little taller. “That makes me so happy to hear, Lex. Why don’t we proceed with… cautious optimism.”
“Cautious optimism. I like that.”
Her smile set me at ease. It was warm and kind and everything my own mother’s smile wasn’t. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t love me… they did. They were just cold. Maybe it was a British thing. But, then again, my sister wasn’t cold. She never was. And now that she’s a mother, she’s loving and playful and kind. No, I take that back. It wasn’t a British thing. It was a Bailey thing.
Did Sarah know how lucky she was? When I needed to detox, my parents turned me away from their home. Admittedly, I knew why. I’d tried to get clean several times before, only to fall off the wagon and steal from them to support my habit. They didn’t trust me. And I didn’t deserve their trust at the time.
But my sister never gave up on me. She put me up in yet another rehab center. And I promised her that this time would be different, even though I had made that promise hundreds of timesin the past. She claimed to see something different in my eyes that time. And I think for the first time, she believed me. She believed in me.
I wonder if I had come to my parent’s doorstep with baby Olivia in my arms… would they have taken us in? Would they have opened their home, their arms, their hearts to me and my daughter? I wanted to think they would have, but truly, I wasn’t sure.
Did Sarah know that not all of us were so lucky to have supportive parents that loved us unconditionally? Because the way she used to speak about her parents to me suggested
that they didn’t love her at all. That they would have turned her away. It was one of the first things we connected over—the fact that our parents had both slammed their doors in our faces. But I just couldn’t picture Mrs. Murphy doing that.
Sarah’s lawyers, a woman in a gray suit and an older man in a black suit, came out of the courtroom, briefcases in hand, and talked quietly with Mrs. Murphy for a few minutes before finally turning to Brady and me. “Would you like to follow us to the hospital for your test?” the female lawyer said.
Brady nodded in acknowledgment. “Absolutely.”
Mrs. Murphy dropped her gaze, not meeting my eyes. Was she embarrassed they were asking this? Hell, I had no qualms about proving my sobriety. “Mrs. Murphy.” Even though I whispered her name, it seemed to echo between us. Her gaze darted to mine and I offered her the same kind smile she had awarded me earlier. “I will happily provide drug tests for you. With my daughter’s well-being at stake? I wish I could make everyone who ever came in contact with her get drug tested, too. I’m sober. I’ve been sober for two years. And I’m proud to prove it to you.”
She sighed, her shoulders dropping and tears filled her eyes with a large swallow. “That’s so… refreshing to hear,” she said. “I’ve longed to hear those same words from my daughter, you know.”
I nodded. I did know. Better than anyone, perhaps. None of us wanted to be this way.
Brady cleared his throat. “Shall we?” He gestured to the front doors. I could tell that the casual way Mrs. Murphy and I were chatting made him nervous. There was always the fear that a client would slip up and say something stupid that could compromise the whole case. But Mrs. Murphy and I truly seemed to want the same things. I believed in her… and I would work as hard as I could to make sure she believed in me, too. If I couldn’t have that with my own parents, maybe I could have it with the grandparents of my child.
14
Sweet on You Page 11