by Brenda Ford
But I knew that some parents knew how to get around it. Oftentimes, back doors and side doors were left cracked open or unlocked, giving anybody and everybody access to all of the classroom and all of the children. I'd raised the point with administration more times than I could count, but they'd never done anything about it. So, just to ease my own mind, I usually checked all the doors I could and made sure they were latched when I walked by. But the fact that some people continued to leave them cracked open or unlocked posed a serious safety problem.
A knock at the door startled me, nearly causing me to jump straight out of my skin. I stifled a cry of surprise and fear and hesitated before answering, just in case. The kids heard the knocking and figured it was probably Mrs. Wells. They looked at me, wondering why I was still standing there and not opening the door.
Clearing my throat, I walked over to the door, but didn't unlock it. Instead, I tried to speak to whoever was on the other side first.
“Who's there?” I asked, my voice cracking.
“Mrs. Wells, of course,” she said. “Who else would it be?”
The voice was familiar and I felt a wave of relief wash over me, but still, I didn't want the kids walking the halls with a stranger running loose. I wanted to get the all clear from security before I let them go. I opened the door and quietly explained what was going on to Mrs. Wells. She looked up and down the hallway before looking back at me like I'd lost my mind.
“I haven't seen anybody out here,” she said. “Maybe it was a janitor or security?”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, maybe,” I said. “I just figured, better to be safe than sorry.”
“Absolutely. You did the right thing,” Mrs. Wells said and smiled. “I'll be sure to keep an eye out.”
I really, really didn't want to let them leave the relative safety of my classroom. Not until I'd heard from the administration. I leaned out and stared down one side of the hallway and then the other. I saw security guard walking my way and felt a little more relieved. At least there was somebody walking down the halls.
We waited until he got to where we were standing at my classroom door and I asked, “Is it clear?”
He shrugged. “I can't find anyone,” he said. “I saw someone leave out this way. Looked like it could have been the father of Harley Jones.”
Maybe I was overreacting and whoever had been in the hallway had been there for any devious or nefarious reason. It could have been anybody. But Elias? He had no reason to be there, and I would have recognized him in the hallway. I'd have recognized him in a heartbeat. And who I'd seen wasn't Elias. I would have bet every last cent I had on it.
“I'm pretty sure it wasn't Elias Jones,” I said haughtily. “Just because he was wearing a leather jacket like he does – ”
The guard held up his hands. “Okay, okay,” he said. “Maybe it wasn't Mr. Jones. But there's nobody in the halls now. It's safe to let the kids out.”
With the security guard's word, I let the children follow Mrs. Wells back to her classroom. Still, watching them walk away with the image of the mysterious man in the hallway made me a nervous wreck. I continued watching them until they reached the end of the hall and turned away, out of my sight.
I'd seen someone, and it wasn't Elias. I knew that much with absolute certainty. As I closed the door, I found myself alone in my classroom. The silence was profound and carried an almost oppressive weight to it. I felt like there was something bad coming our way. It was out on the horizon like a storm, but that storm was rushing in quickly. And I worried that it would be upon us sooner rather than later, and when it arrived, it was going to pack one nasty punch.
The overwhelming urge to call Elias and ask him about it – just in case it had been him for some strange reason – came over me. But I didn't want to come off sounding needy, or like I was making up an excuse to talk to him. Besides, he wanted to keep his distance and I needed to honor that request. Honestly, I knew I should probably do the same. There was no use chasing after a guy who wasn't interested in you, after all. Doing that would only lead to frustration and heartache in the long run. And I sure as hell didn't need that in my life in the least.
Still, I found it hard to stop thinking about him. Especially after everything we'd done and shared last night. When I closed my eyes, I could still feel his body against mine. Feel him inside of me. Smell his skin and hear his voice. The memory was enough to reignite the fire that burned between my thighs for him, but I had to stifle it. Squash it. I couldn't afford to let myself go there again. Not anymore. He'd made himself clear about that and as much as it sucked, I needed to respect it.
But damn, if it hadn't been an amazing night.
ooo000ooo
I was in the middle of cleaning up my classroom – my door still shut – when someone knocked. A chill passed through me as I remembered the creepy guy in the halls earlier and hesitated. But, it was also after school so the hallways were crowded – there were parents and their kids about as well.
“Yes?” I said.
“Paige – err – I mean, Miss Cleary?”
Damn. It was Elias. For someone who wanted to keep his distance, he sure stopped by a lot. Not that I was complaining all that much. I had to admit that I enjoyed seeing him. And if I had my way, I'd see a lot more of him.
“One sec,” I said.
I muttered under my breath as I wiped my hands off on some paper towels. I unlocked the door and opened it to find Harley and Elias standing there staring back at me. Harley had a huge smile spread across her adorable little face.
“Harley has something to ask you,” Elias said, very pointedly not meeting my gaze.
“Yes, Harley?” I asked.
“May I have my shirt, please?” she asked sweetly. “I know you said to wait until you gave them to our teachers, but I wanted to wear mine out tonight, and – ”
“Sure thing, Harley,” I said with a laugh. “Go grab yours. Just make sure it's dry first.”
Harley's class was at the beginning of the day, so chances were good that it was probably dry by now.
“So what are you doing tonight?” I asked her.
“I'm hanging out at daddy's work with Mitch while he goes out.”
Harley looked through the drying racks one-by-one, checking the tags as she searched for hers. I stared over at Elias. I tried to bite it back, but a sudden spike of jealousy lanced my heart. I couldn't help it.
“Oh yeah?” I asked, doing my best to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Going out tonight, huh?”
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging as he stared at Harley. “No big deal though.”
His hands were in his pockets and he seemed awkward, uncomfortable. Honestly, it seemed like he wanted to just get the hell out of there. Not that I blamed him. I wanted to ask him if it was a date he was going on, but I knew it wasn't a question to ask in front of his daughter. And it probably wasn't an appropriate question for me to be asking anyway. But yeah, it was probably a date.
“Well, have fun,” I muttered.
Harley squealed when she found her shirt and was showing it off to Elias as I sat back down at my desk, pretending to work and fighting the tears that were suddenly stinging my eyes.
“Paige, I mean – Miss Cleary – ”
“Yes, Mr. Jones?” I replied without looking up at him – the last thing I needed was for him to see that I had tears in my eyes because of him.
“I'm uhhh – ” he started to say something, but stopped and scratched at the scruff on his face. He looked to be at a loss for words – or like he wanted to say something else entirely – but what came out was, “Thanks for letting Harley get her shirt. She couldn't wait to show it to Mitch – he wears a lot of tie dye himself and she thought it'd be cool if they matched.”
“No problem,” I said. “Always happy to help.”
Elias was almost out the door when I decided to ask him the other question that was nagging at me, “Hey listen, you weren't here at the school earlier today,
were you?”
He shook his head. “No, why?”
“Oh nothing,” I said, shrugging. “There was just some guy in the hallway. I didn't get a good look at him, but security thought it might be you. He was wearing a leather jacket, but from what I saw, he didn't look anything like you in my opinion. I just thought I'd ask.”
“Did you get a good look at him?”
“Not really,” I said. “As soon as I looked down the hallway at him, he stepped around the corner and kind of vanished. I had my kids to look after, and honestly, he gave me a creepy vibe. But security didn't find him, so like I said, it's probably nothing. I was just curious.”
Elias stood there, staring at me, contemplating something. I could see a million different thoughts rolling through his head and he looked like he wanted to say something, but then the moment passed. The curtain fell down over his eyes and he just gave me an awkward smile.
“You be careful, okay?” he said. “And call me if you see anything weird or anything.”
I waved him off. “Yeah, thanks,” I muttered. “I'll be careful.”
Call him if I see something weird? Yeah, not likely. Not anymore. I see how things were now – I seemed to be just another sexual conquest for him. I'd thought maybe things could have been different. He was sweet. Gentle. Wanted me to stay and cuddle. I'd thought that maybe my impressions of him and what he wanted had been wrong.
But he sure proved me wrong and maybe even naïve in a heartbeat. I was infuriated and humiliated. The fact that he was going out on a date, after telling me to basically forget he even existed, was like a slap in the face. It was silly considering the fact that we weren't even together, but knowing I was so fucking disposable to him hurt like hell.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I'd be better off if I forgot he existed.
16
Elias
“What the fuck are you doing, Mav?” I almost shouted. “Sending a guy to my daughter's school? Really?”
“We weren't there for your daughter, Elias,” Mav said. “You know who we were there for and you know why.”
I paced the clubhouse, furious beyond words, my fists clenched at my side. I wanted to punch someone, or at least punch something. But I was smart enough to know that I was surrounded by men with guns and the means to dispose of my body in a heartbeat if Mav told them to do so. I didn't want to fuck with them. I wanted to get home to my daughter. Which meant that I needed to maintain my cool. Keep my composure. But in my head, I had already killed Mav a hundred times over. Killed them all.
“Sit down, Elias,” Mav said. “Jesus fucking christ, man. You're making me nervous the way you're pacing around the joint like you are. Settle down, man.”
“I'm making you nervous?” I pointedly stared at the men standing around the room, watching me, their hands not too far from their guns. “That's fuckin' rich, man.”
“We're all friends here, Elias. There's nothing to be nervous about,” Mav said. “So, come on. Sit down, have a beer – ”
“I don't drink anymore,” I said.
“Since when?”
“Since I decided to stop being a jackass and be a father to my daughter.”
Mav shrugged. “Well, good for you, man. I mean that. Walking the straight and narrow now. Look at you. You're so much better than all of us. You're above us all.”
The sarcasm dripping from his tongue was thick, and others gathered around the room laughed, sneering at me.
“I didn't say that,” I said. “Stop twisting my words.”
“You might as well have. Now sit the fuck down before I have one of our friends here make you sit down,” Mav said, his tone getting less and less friendly by the minute.
One of the guys nearby – some behemoth I didn't know – cracked his knuckles and smiled at me, as if ready to do whatever it took to make me sit down across from Mav. He was larger than me – one of the largest men I'd ever seen before in my life, if I were being honest. And he was completely new to the MC. His mere presence was intimidating and he fit the stereotype of the outlaw biker to a t. I could see why Mav wanted a guy like him around.
I glared at everybody around the room, the rage in me boiling just below the surface. But I kept remembering that it was more important to home to Harley. That was all that mattered. Reluctantly and with a big sigh, I sat down at the table across from Mav and stared daggers at him.
Mav looked at me, a bemused smirk playing upon his lips and I feared that rage was going to boil over and make me do something rash. Something stupid. Something that was likely to get me killed. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. Forced the anger down into a box deep inside of me.
“What do I have to do to make you leave Paige Cleary alone?” I said with forced calm.
“You know what you have to do, Elias,” he said. “The same thing you have to do to make sure your daughter doesn't grow up without her daddy. All you have to do is exactly what I tell you to do. It's real fuckin' simple, man.”
“You need me to help you set up Carl Gillespie so you can get rid of him, right?”
“No, I told you, the situation changed,” he said. “Now, I need you to kill Gillespie.”
My blood ran cold at his words and I stared at him in disbelief. I had a feeling it was going to come down to that, but hearing him actually speak the words was something else entirely.
“Why don't you kill him yourself?”
Mav leaned back in his chair and smirked. “We have our reasons,” he said. “Reasons that don't concern you, frankly.”
“I'm not a killer,” I said.
“You are if you want to keep your little girl,” he said. “Besides, this is the trash that ruined Amy's life, remember? The one who keeps her addicted, keeps her coming back for more. The reason your little girl is growing up without a mommy. Personally, I'd think you'd enjoy killing him.”
Maybe at one time, I would have enjoyed gutting Carl. But that person – the person I was before – was long gone. I wasn't that guy. It was another life in another world – a world I'd pulled myself out of and had no desire to return to.
And though I did some terrible, unspeakable things in that other life, I no longer had a desire to hurt anyone. I knew full well that Amy's life wasn't ruined by Carl. But I also knew that she bore some responsibility for that. Her demons were her own, and although she was responsible for letting them live and fester, most of them originated with her father. Not some drug dealer.
Carl was simply giving her what she wanted. What she asked for. Sure, it pissed me off that he kept selling her the drugs, kept feeding her demons, knowing what a fucking mess she was. But had her parents not fucked her up to begin with, who knows where she'd be today. She likely wouldn't be the steaming pile of shit she'd turned out to be.
“Listen, I'm sorry it comes down to this, but you really don't have a choice, Elias,” Mav said. “Not only can we make sure your daughter is taken away from you – for good – we can kill your girlfriend and then we can kill you. Or maybe, we'd just let you live your life knowing what you brought down on yourself and the people who died because of you. You need to know just how disposable you are to us unless you do what we're asking.”
No one would ever take my daughter away from me. Not for any reason. I didn't care if I lived or died, but the fact of the matter was, I was all she had. And she was all I had. She needed me every bit as much as I needed her.
She needed me to kill Carl Gillespie so she could grow up happy, healthy and not end up like her mom. She needed me to kill Carl Gillespie so she could simply grow up and live a normal life. If killing Carl Gillespie was what I had to do to make sure she survived and got a chance to grow up, then so be it.
I looked up at Mav, anger coursing through my veins. “Fine. I'm in,” I said. “Just tell me when and where. But you need to know that this is it. I do this, you don't ever fucking call me for anything ever again. Once this is done, my last tie to this fucking club is cut and you lose my goddamn number. Fore
ver. You got me?”
Mav shrugged. “Yeah, sure thing, chief.”
ooo000ooo
The next morning, I took my daughter to school like normal. Like nothing was wrong and everything was right in the world. No one who saw me would have ever guessed that I was plotting the murder of a man while I drove Harley to her fancy, private school. No one would ever suspect that I was going to kill a man at some point in the next few hours.
But first, I had some business to take care of. I had some alternative plans to make and some things to settle. Just in case everything went to shit and I didn't walk out of the situation alive, or in case something went south and I ended up in handcuffs, facing a murder charge, I needed to set up some insurance. A safety net.
I dropped Harley off at her classroom, kissing her goodbye, and giving her a big smile to cover my fear. I tried to hide the tears welling up in my eyes.
“I love you, Harley-bug,” I said, kneeling down beside her. “You know that, right?”
“Of course, daddy,” she said, distracted by a classmate who was showing off a new toy nearby. “I love you too. See you after school. Maybe we can even get some ice cream?”
I hope so, babygirl, I thought to myself. God, I hope so.
“Of course we can get some ice cream,” I said. “We may even get a double scoop if you're good.”
She squealed and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tight. “I'll be extra good, daddy!”
“I know you will, baby.”
She smiled again and rushed off to join her friends, a happy and well-adjusted little girl, and I wanted to make sure she stayed that way. Even if something were to happen to me, she needed someone to watch out for her. Someone I could trust – which was a very short list.
I wanted to stand there and watch her forever, but her teacher shot me a strange look. It wasn't normal for parents to stick around in the classrooms, but I couldn't bring myself to leave knowing that it was entirely possible that was the last time I was ever going to see my precious little girl. Once I walked out that door, I had no idea what was going to happen. No idea if I was going to survive the coming ordeal. It was possible that I might not ever see Harley again. She might not ever see me either. And I wanted to cherish our last moments together forever.