by Kate L. Mary
When she didn’t say anything else, I finally spoke up. “You know I would have told you if it had been up to me.”
“I know.” Her eyes were still down. “I keep thinking about how much we’ve shared, all the moments I helped you through, and the times something happened and you were the first person I told. It feels like someone stole something from me, no matter how stupid that is.” When she lifted her gaze, there were tears in her brown eyes. “You’re my best friend, and it isn’t because it’s only been the six of us for so long. It’s because we have this connection I’ve never experienced before.”
“I know,” I said, tears coming to my own eyes. “Don’t you think I know?”
Emma gave me a teary smile. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”
“Now or every time?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Every time.”
We both laughed, and I reached out, grabbing her arm so I could pull her against me, hugging her tight.
“You’ve never been a bitch, Emma.”
She snorted in my ear. “Ask Blake about that, and he might disagree.”
I laughed, and when she pulled away, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, thinking about Blake and Christine and what might happen there.
“Have you noticed all the time he’s been spending with Bill’s daughter since they got here?”
Emma’s eyebrows pulled together. “No. Has he?”
“He has. I know he likes her, and I think the feeling is mutual.”
Emma nodded slowly, thoughtfully, her gaze moving past me like she was looking at them even though neither of the people we were talking about was in the room. “Oh.”
“I wanted to give you some warning.”
She said nothing, still staring past me, and I couldn’t read the expression in her eyes.
“Emma?”
“Wow, I really am a bitch, because I’m jealous.” She snorted again, but this time it was at herself. “All these months of Cade and me flaunting our relationship, and I have to begrudge Blake the first chance he’s had to move on.”
“It’s only natural,” I assured her. “You were together for a long time. That’s why I wanted to warn you.”
She nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. “Well, I’m going to be happy for him. I’m determined to be. He deserves it. We weren’t right for each other, but Blake is a good guy.”
As much as Emma wanted to think she was a bitch, that statement proved she wasn’t.
We headed back up to the common area, which to me seemed to be throbbing with activity. Bill and his wife had returned to their game of chess, and little Tiana had joined them while I was gone. She was perched on her adoptive father’s lap, listening attentively as he explained the game to her. Across the room, a handful of people, the sisters included, were playing pool, while the thud of music flowed from the TV in the theater.
Cade and Kellan were leaning against the bar talking, and Emma and I went over to join them. She sidled up to Cade, giving him a slight nod to let him know we’d talked things out, and when he put his arm around her, he kissed her on the side of her head. When I stopped at Kellan’s side, he smiled and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.
The guys were discussing Andrew and what this new development might mean, but I was focused on the people in the room. There were so many new faces, some of them whose names I couldn’t even remember, and it was nice. Familiar, even though the noise was shocking as well. It reminded me of all those years ago, before we’d let Laurie into our lives and she’d destroyed the security we’d built.
Harper had come into the room while I was gone and stood at the end of the bar not too far from us, but her focus was on Bill and Tiana as they talked. Her eyes brimmed with curiosity as she watched the interaction, but there was something else there, as well. Sadness. Grief, even.
Slipping my hand out of Kellan’s, I moved over to join her. “You doing okay?”
We’d only spoken a little about what had happened while Andrew was holding her, just enough for me to reassure myself that she hadn’t been violated. Now that things had settled down for the time being, I was reminded that not only was she just a kid, but she was still new here as well. Not part of Bill’s group, but not really part of ours yet, either. She had no one to lean on if she was struggling. Not the way the rest of us did.
Harper tore her gaze from Bill and focused on me. “I’m okay,” she said quietly and once again looked back toward the game of chess. “It’s just…” She shook her head, and her blonde braid slipped from her shoulder. “I’ve never had that, you know? Not that I really remember, anyway.”
At first I didn’t understand what she meant—they were only playing a game—but then I watched Bill, and even Jessica, interacting with Tiana for a moment, and it hit me what Harper was referring to. Parents.
“I don’t really remember much about my mom and dad,” she said, still watching the family interact.
“Didn’t you have someone in your group who looked out for you? Someone who filled that role?”
Harper shrugged and absentmindedly reached back for her braid, tugging on it the way she so often did. “Not one person, not really. We all kind of looked out for one another.”
A pang vibrated through me. I couldn’t imagine not having anyone to look up to. I’d had Jasper, we all had, and Emma, and I’d always known that no matter what, one of them would be there to answer my questions and teach me what I needed to know. Jasper had taken on the responsibility of making sure I had the life skills necessary to make it in this world. Surviving, teaching me a skill—making soap—that would help me earn my place in this new world, and teaching me to shoot and fish. Emma had been there to answer all the awkward questions life brought. My first period, sex, both the good and bad things men could do. My family hadn’t been conventional, but it had been clear-cut.
“That’s nice, when you think about it,” I said, trying to make Harper feel better. “It means you had more than one dad, more than one mom. You had more than a lot of people.”
She shrugged, but nodded, too. “I did, I know, but when I see that, I remember what I’m missing.” Harper tore her gaze from Bill and focused on me. “Do you remember your parents?”
I swallowed when a lump formed in my throat. “Yes and no. I sometimes wonder if the memories I have of them are real or if they’re something I saw on TV. Like when I think about a day we spent at the lake. I know it happened, but it’s so fuzzy now I have to wonder if the images in my head were from my life or from something else.”
“Exactly,” Harper said. “I can remember things, mostly just images. My bedroom. A big clock at my grandma’s house that chimed every hour. A dog I think was mine at some point. But none of it feels real, and there’s always this grain of doubt in my mind, like I’m not sure if any of it really existed. I can’t imagine a world before this one where you could walk down the street and not be afraid for your life. It doesn’t seem like it ever existed.”
“It did,” I assured her. “What’s more, you had parents who loved you. I know you did.”
“Yeah,” she said, looking back toward Bill, but she didn’t sound convinced.
16
Throughout the day, zombies continued to find their way to us, and that evening, as the sun was moving toward the horizon, nearly twenty had gathered outside the fence. It was something we couldn’t ignore, not with how rusty the metal had gotten over the last nine years or the way it bowed under their weight, threatening to give, and not when there would no doubt be more by morning.
So, we gathered in the industrial hallway, ready to go out and take care of the horde doing their best to break down the fence. Kellan and me, Bill, Ernie, James, Cade, Blake, Scott, and Emma. Nine of us against twenty zombies. Whether the odds were good depended on how old the creatures were. If they’d been around for a few years, they would be more decayed and slower, but if Andrew had just created them or they were infected with one of the newer strains of the virus, it co
uld be rough. Only time would tell.
Behind us, another group waited with weapons, ready to provide backup if Andrew decided now was the time to make his move. The woman who lived with Scott, Ellie, the man Ernie lived with whose name I hadn’t yet learned, Diane, Jessica, Christine, seventeen-year-old Thomas, and sixteen-year-old Mason. Everyone looked tense and unsure about what we were facing, but they were here, and they were armed, and it was all we could ask for as we headed up the stairs.
“Stick close to me,” Kellan said when we reached the surface.
For the first time, I was able to roll my eyes when faced with his overprotectiveness. “I’m immune.” I waved to the bandage covering the still throbbing bite. “If anyone should be worrying about anyone, it’s me about you.”
Kellan, who had flipped that internal switch of his, only shook his head in response.
Outside, the Oklahoma air was stifling even though the sun was now half hidden by the horizon. The sky, painted in oranges and pinks and purples, would be black soon, but there was more than enough daylight left for us to take care of the current crisis.
The zombies went crazy at the sight of us, and we started out the way we usually did. At the fence, careful to keep our distance from the fingers, and even a few hands, that managed to make it through the chain link, poking long blades into the eye sockets of the dead through the holes. It was the safest way to take care of them and something Kellan and I had learned from watching episodes of The Walking Dead back before the virus. At the time, it had been for entertainment, but more than a few tricks the pretend survivors had used to stay alive ended up helping us over the years.
The dead dropped one by one as the nine of us went to work. Flies buzzed around the bodies and my face, and more than once I had to swat them away when they tried to land on my eye or cheek. The stench of decay was overpowering, and the handkerchief I’d tied over my nose and mouth did nothing to block it out. My eyes watered and my stomach convulsed. Nine years, and I still hadn’t gotten used to it. I hoped to God I never did.
There were five zombies left standing when a dead man slammed against the fence, shaking the whole thing. He was right in front of me, his mouth open as he chomped, revealing brown teeth and gray gums, and a dry tongue that had turned black. He shoved his hand through a hole, cutting away layers of decaying flesh in the process, and black blood oozed from the torn skin, dripping down the chain link fence. A moan broke out of him, and he pressed himself against the fence harder, his mouth right in front of a hole, and the metal cut into his face in a way that reminded me of the Play-Doh factory I’d had as a kid. I imagined the zombie forcing his way through the fence the same way I’d forced the Play-Doh through tiny holes in the toy, creating spaghetti-like tendrils that would fall to the ground at my feet in a rotten heap.
I swallowed at the repulsive image and slammed my knife into the zombie’s eye. His hand was still reaching for me, and as he dropped, it ripped free and fell to the ground. I jumped back like I thought it would still be able to grab me.
“Looks like the rest aren’t interested in taking the bait,” Kellan said, drawing my attention from the motionless hand to the zombies still standing.
There were only five, but he was right. They were keeping a distance, their milky gazes more calculating and focused than the ones we’d already managed to kill. This always happened. Somehow, there were always a few zombies that had managed to hold onto more of their mental faculties, forcing us to leave the safety of the fence if we wanted to take them out.
“Let’s get this done, then,” Ernie said.
No one else uttered a word, but a few of the others nodded in agreement.
While Kellan worked to get the gate open, I switched my knife to my other hand and flexed my fingers, trying to ease some of the tension in my joints. Before switching back, I wiped my moist palm on my pants.
“Here we go,” Cade said, nodding to the dead.
Kellan was the first to step out, and the second he did, the zombies were on the move. This was always the most unnerving part, seeing them respond exactly how people would, biding their time and waiting until we were vulnerable. They shouldn’t have been able to do it. They were dead. They weren’t people, and they shouldn’t still have the ability to reason like this. Yet, they did.
Kellan had one of them down before I’d even made it out, sending his blade deep into the zombie’s brain and letting out a grunt when the impact vibrated up his arm. The thing dropped, pulling his knife free, and he spun to face the next zombie.
Cade went up against another one while Bill and Scott each took one as well. Ernie headed for the final zombie, grabbing it around its throat, his fingers sinking into the decaying flesh as he worked to keep it at a safe distance. The zombie snapped its teeth, biting at the air, and Ernie’s face grew red from exertion while his glasses slowly slid down his nose, barely clinging to the tip, but he made very little progress.
I went to his aid, jumping over a couple bodies, almost tripping over an arm, and ducking around the zombie when I got close so I could pop up behind him. Ernie’s hand was now covered in black blood, his fingers deep in the zombie’s throat, and his grunts were all but drowned out by moans and growls coming from the dead man.
I grabbed the zombie’s shirt to hold him still and slammed my knife into his skull. Four inches sank in before coming to a stop, my blade lodged in his brain, and the zombie went down, taking Ernie with him.
The man landed on top of the zombie, his hand still on the creature’s neck, but he released the thing and scrambled back, panting.
“What the hell was that?” he growled when he looked up.
The violent way he shoved his glasses back into place made me blink. I’d been expecting a thank you, not the anger flashing in his brown eyes.
“You looked like you were having some trouble, so I helped.”
“I was fine.” Ernie dragged himself up off the ground, shaking his hand as he did and sending bits of rotten flesh and black blood flying through the air. “I’ve killed plenty of zombies. I could handle it.”
“Are you serious?” I snapped. “You should be thanking me!”
“I was fine,” he said again, this time through clenched teeth.
He didn’t like having a girl save his ass. Nice.
“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes and turning away.
The other zombies were all down, and Bill had already headed off to get the truck, and only five feet away, Kellan stood staring at me, an amused expression on his face.
I rolled my eyes again, which earned me a wink.
Bill pulled the truck through the open gate and put it in park, and we worked together to load the dead into the back, Ernie glaring at me the whole time. It wasn’t as easy as it had been with our old truck thanks to the huge tires, and a couple guys had to climb into the back while the rest of us hoisted the dead above our heads, handing the bodies off to be dragged in.
When the last zombie had been loaded, people headed back, hurrying for the safety of the fence, but Ernie didn’t follow. He still looked like he wanted to strangle me, but I decided ignoring him was the best solution. If I didn’t, I was liable to kick the sexist asshole in the balls.
Cade had hung back, too, and when Ernie talked, he addressed him, not Kellan. “Where do you usually dump the bodies?”
“There’s a spot not too far from here. There’s nothing really special about it. We just make sure to drive them far enough away that they don’t stink up the place,” Kellan responded, earning him a glare that was nearly as hot as the one Ernie had given me when I saved his ass.
Bill slammed the tailgate shut. “You can show me.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Kellan responded.
Ernie frowned and looked between the two but said nothing. I got the impression he was waiting for an invitation to tag along, but since the cab only fit three people, I had no intention of letting him get the last spot.
“I want to go.”
I expected resistance, but all Kellan did was sigh. “I thought you might.”
“We’ll secure the gate until you get back.” Cade nodded to Ernie, whose frown deepened.
“We won’t be long,” Bill said as he headed for the driver’s side.
Kellan and I stayed where we were, watching as Ernie followed Cade back toward the fence. The older man still didn’t look happy about the situation, but he hadn’t argued, which was something.
“Come on,” Kellan said when they’d gotten the gate shut.
I followed him to the passenger side, where he opened the door and motioned for me to get in.
“No argument?” I asked as I hauled myself into the high cab.
He looked up, giving me a half smile. “Is there a point?”
“Nope.”
I scooted over until I was next to Bill, and Kellan climbed in behind me. Inside the fence, Ernie and Cade were heading for the shelter.
“What’s Ernie’s deal?” I asked as Bill started the engine.
He threw the truck in gear and said, “I noticed he wasn’t too thrilled with you.”
“I helped him,” I snapped. “Plus, I wasn’t just talking about that. He doesn’t seem to like Kellan very much.”
Bill turned the wheel and headed away from the shelter. “He’s a bit of a control freak. That’s all. I know it comes across poorly sometimes, but he’s a good guy. Been helpful over the years.”
“Well, he could work on being grateful,” I grumbled.
Bill only chuckled in response.
At my side, Kellan was silent, his gaze focused on the Oklahoma landscape as we drove, searching for any sign of Andrew and his men. There was nothing, though.
The sun had disappeared completely, and above us the sky was well on its way to turning black. When that happened, any nearby lights would be clearly visible. If Andrew was around and decided to turn on his headlights, we’d spot him from a mile—or more—away.