by Nick Russell
"I'm sorry to hear that," he told her. "I knew it was rough, Maddy. I wish I could've done more to help."
"How could you have helped? You were a kid, too."
"I know, but I went through life with no problems, and you were dealing with all that, all by yourself."
"I stopped dwelling on it a long time ago," she said. "I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. If nothing else, it helped make me who I am today."
"Well, for what it’s worth, I’m pretty damned impressed with who you are today."
She smiled and said, “You know what? I am, too. It took me a long time to get here, but I am, too."
"What do you want to do now?"
“What I want to do and what I need to do are two different things,” she said.
“What do you need to do?"
"I need to go to city hall," Maddy told him.
"City hall? What’s that about?"
“The bean counters for the city keep bugging me about a settlement over what happened."
“And that's a problem because?"
"I can’t explain it, John Lee," she said. “It's like they want to pay me money for what Fig and Emmitt did to me. Like money is going to make it all go away or make it better. They don’t understand that nothing can make it go away or make it better.”
“But you deserve something for what you went through."
“Do I?”
“Of course you do! Why wouldn't you think so?"
She shook her head and said, "I don't know. Part of me feels like I don't want to deal with it, and part of me feels like I should take the deal they offer me and be done with it and put the whole thing behind me."
He started the car and she asked, “Would you mind going with me to that meeting? It starts in twenty minutes."
"Sure, Maddy, whatever you need."
“Thanks, I appreciate it. I don’t want to be there alone. I've been through this twice already, and both times I told them that at this point I’m not ready to do anything. But they keep pushing."
“They? Who are they?"
A man named Kevin Farrell. He's the attorney for the insurance company that covers the city's liability. He seems like a nice enough guy but he keeps telling me that we need to get this thing over and done with. And I guess it makes sense to do that. I really can't explain why I'm holding back."
“Have you thought about hiring an attorney to represent you?”
Maddy shook her head. “I know I probably should, but I keep putting it off.”
"It’s none of my business, but can I ask what kind of settlement they offered you, Maddy?"
"Of course it's your business, John Lee. Why wouldn't it be your business?"
"I don't know," he said. "I wasn't the one to get abused by those two maggots."
"But you were there. You were there and you tried to save me. You're as much a part of this is I am."
He did not respond because he had never been able to shake the feeling that he had failed her in some way. Even though he had gone out to the lake where they were holding her captive, even though he had tried his best to get her away, he had failed. He had stood there handcuffed to the push bar in the front of Emmitt's patrol car and been forced to watch as former chief deputy Flag Newton had murdered his partner in crime and then tried to murder Maddy as well. And even though she had assured him many times that he had done all he could, he would never feel that it was enough.
“Well, let's go see what they have to say," he said.
***
John Lee felt like they were outnumbered the moment they walked into the meeting room at the city hall. Farrell, dressed in a gray suit, was flanked on one side by two of his assistants, and on the other by the mayor, two councilmen, and Police Chief Miranda Bryant. Introductions were made all around, although Farrell and his assistants were the only people John Lee had not met before.
Farrell thanked them for coming, then asked John Lee to leave the room while they talked.
“Why does he have to leave?”
“Well, because he’s not a party to the incident we’re going to be discussing, Ms. Westfall,” the attorney said.
“Of course he is a party to the incident,” Maddy told him. “He was there when Flag shot Emmitt and tried to kill me.”
“Yes, I’m familiar with that,” Farrell said, then added, “and I commend you on your courage that day, Deputy Quarrels. But again, I’d appreciate it if you waited outside.”
“If he leaves, I leave,” Maddy said.
“I see no reason for Deputy Quarrels to be excluded from this meeting if Ms. Westfall wants him here,” Chief Bryant said, then corrected herself. “I’m sorry, I should have said Deputy Westfall. It’s good to see you back in uniform, Maddy.”
The attorney looked to the mayor and councilmen, who held a quick whispered conference. Then the mayor said, “We have no problem with Deputy Quarrels being present to give Ms. Westfall any emotional support she might need.”
“All right then,” Farrell said, “let’s get down to business. Ms. Westfall, I know we've talked before and you haven't been prepared to consider the offers that we have tended to you in the past. We’re not here to pressure you in any way, ma'am, but for everybody’s sake, we do need to get this wrapped up."
"I just don't feel the need to do anything at this point," Maddy said. “The town has already been covering all my medical bills and counseling. I don't have any idea what to think about for a settlement."
"I realize that you haven't asked for anything," Farrell said. “We just wonder if you have given any thought to the offer that was made to you the last time we met?"
"Not really," Maddy said. "I've been kind of busy."
"Ms. Westfall, I want you to know that we all, all of us in this room, deeply care for you," Mayor Dennis Maitland said. “We just want to know how we can help you get through this and put it behind all of us."
"Why do I have to do something now? Is there some kind of statute of limitations or something?"
"No, Ms. Westfall, not at this point," Farrell said. "But is there anything to be accomplished by dragging this out forever?"
"I just don't want to deal with it," Maddy said. “I just want it to go away."
"And that's what we’re trying to do," Farrell replied. “We all want it to go away. What happened to you was terrible and I know that money can't make it better. But this is just hanging there, it's been hanging there for a long time. I know you're moving forward in your life, that you’re back working for the sheriff's department again, and that's a good thing. It really is, and I applaud you for your strength and your courage. Now, how about we take care of this final detail and move on?"
Maddy looked at John Lee for support, then turned back to the attorney and asked, "What happens if I accept whatever kind of offer you're making? Then what?"
“We sign some paperwork and send you a check and it's all in the past," Farrell said.
"In the past? All in the past?" Maddy shook her head and said, “I'm not prepared to deal with this right now. I'm sorry.”
She stood up and Councilman Roy Crawford asked, "Maddy, what can we do to make this better?"
"Make it better? Money is not going to make it better. Money is not going to make my nightmares go away. Money is not going to make the physical injuries I have disappear. It’s not going to erase the scars on my body. Do you think giving me money will solve my problems? I never cared about money."
“I understand that. But there has to be something, some way that we can do to…"
"To do what? Make yourselves all feel better because you hired a monster like Emmitt Planter? Or Flag Newton? You knew what he was like, Mr. Mayor. The City Council knew what he was like. What they both were like. But you were more than happy to have them, weren’t you? You all knew people were being abused by them and you did nothing. Nothing at all! What about the people who got pulled over for no reason and roughed up, just because Emmitt could get away with it because he had a
badge and a gun? What about the young men who got pulled over and made to lay face down in the street at gunpoint for no other reason than that they were driving while black? What about the rest of our African American community who they abused in every way they could? You looked the other way and were all willing to let a couple of racists get away with that. What about them? What about the poor white people who didn’t get treated much better? How much money will it take to make it better for this whole community?"
"Ms. Westfall, we’re not here to discuss any of that," Farrell said. “Our only interest today is making things right for you."
"Do you have a time machine? Can you roll back the clock to before this ever happened?" Her voice was shrill and the attorney shook his head.
“No, ma'am, we can’t. I wish we could.”
"Well, call me when you can,” Maddy said and walked out of the room. John Lee looked at them, then followed her through the door.
Outside on the sidewalk, Maddy was fighting back tears when he got to her.
“I'm sorry, John Lee. I didn’t mean to go off like that.”
“It's okay," he told her. "
“No, it's not okay," she said, shaking her head. “Just when I think I'm getting past all of it, something like this happens and I'm… I can’t explain it. The anger comes back and…" she balled her fist and said, “Sometimes I just want to smash something.”
“I wish I had the words to help."
She took a couple of deep breaths and then opened her eyes and said, “It's okay. Just having you here with me helps more than you could ever know. Let’s get out of here and get some lunch.”
Chapter 18
Paw Paw and Billy were sitting on the back porch talking about old friends, some who made it home and some who hadn’t, when Billy’s cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, looked at the caller ID, and shook his head, pushing the button to ignore the call.
“Salesman trying to get you to renew your extended warranty?"
Billy shook his head and said, “No, that was my daughter."
“Don't want to talk to her?"
"Not really," Billy said. “All she’s gonna do is try to hound me into coming back up to Iowa so she can stick me in that home."
“Come on, Billy, she's not going to do that."
“Want to bet? That's all she's talked about for the last year. Keeps telling me I'm too old to be out here running around by myself. Says she's worried about me all the time. A man can only take so much of that, Stan."
“Yeah, I guess. You don't think there’s some compromise the two of you can work out?"
“Compromise? That’s not going to happen. There isn’t any compromising with her. She wants to control my life, and I won’t have it!”
“All I'm saying is maybe you could agree to spend some time up there around her in the summer and take off and travel when it gets cold or something," Paw Paw suggested.
"Never work,” Billy said, shaking his head. “Last time I was up there I was parked in her driveway and woke up to some guy walking around my RV. I asked him what he was up to and turns out Bella had put an ad for it in the damn newspaper, trying to sell it right out from under me!"
“She was trying to sell your RV?”
“That's what I said."
“That's a hell of a note," Paw Paw said.
"Damn straight it is. I love my daughter but I won't have her telling me what I can and can't do, Stan. If I was supposed to be controlled, I’d have been born with a remote strapped to my ass."
“Hell," Paw Paw said, "you’ve been out of control since the day I met you, way back in boot camp."
“You got that right. And I don't plan to change anytime soon.”
“Well, if you ever need a place to hang out, you know you’re welcome here for as long as you want, Billy. I mean that."
"And I appreciate it,” his old friend said. “But I don’t stay anywhere too long. If I do, she’ll have those guys with the white coats and the big butterfly nets coming after me."
“Well, if they do, I got twenty acres out back where we can bury them," Paw Paw said.
Billy's phone rang again and he looked at it, shaking his head and pushing the ignore button a second time.
"She's persistent," Paw Paw observed. “Got to give her credit for that.”
“Yeah, well what you call persistent I call stubborn. Girl’s just like her mother. Now that woman, my ex, she’d nag the horns off a brass billy goat."
“Speaking of the old witch, how’s she doing these days?"
“Last I heard, she was married to an accountant or CPA or some such," Billy told him.
"Married again? What does that make? Four? Five?"
"Hell if I know," Billy said. “I stopped counting or caring a long time ago."
“You know, Billy, in all seriousness, I'm sorry you never found a woman that made you happy," Paw Paw said.
"Are you kidding me? Don't worry about that. I’ve found plenty of women that made me happy. Sometimes for two or three nights in a row. I guess I'm just not a man who's into long term commitments.”
Paw Paw laughed and said, “I hear there are plenty of lonely old women in those nursing homes, Billy.”
“No thank you. Bunch of dried up old prunes. Now you take those single RV women, they’re an entirely different breed. Independent, full of adventure, they’re like me. They live life to the fullest every darned day.” Billy said, “But I got to tell you something, Stan. I admire you and Nell for making it work for so long. You got a good woman. She’d have to be to put up with you, right?”
They both laughed and Paw Paw said, "I got no complaints, Billy. Not a one."
"Do you think John Lee and Maddy are ever gonna get together on a permanent basis?"
"I sure hope to hell so. I ain’t never seen a couple that was made to be together more than them two.”
“It was pretty rough on her, wasn’t it?"
“You have no idea," Paw Paw said. “The way those two abused her… I never wanted to hurt anybody again in my life after I came back from Nam. But those two? Billy, I’d have torn them apart with my bare hands if I could have. You don’t know how bad I wanted to.”
"What about John Lee? I know he said he was doing okay the other night, but you and I both know that's bullshit."
"The boy’s resilient. It was hard on him, no question about that.”
“He comes from good stock," Billy said. “He reminds me a lot of you back when we were youngsters."
"You think?"
“I do. Full of piss and vinegar and not afraid of anything. You and Nell did right the way you raised him."
“Did the best we could,” Paw Paw said. “I never expected to be raising a kid at that age, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Nell, either.”
“What about his mom?”
“Shoot, Billy, that daughter of mine ain’t never gonna grow up. There’s always some big adventure waiting over the next hill. Something she has to see, some harebrained dream she has to follow.”
“Well, I kind of know that feeling,” Billy said. “Us RVers call it hitch itch. If we stay any place for very long, we get all antsy and have to get on down the road.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t do that until after Bella was all grown up. You didn’t abandon your kid and not see her or even call her for months at a time.”
Billy’s phone rang yet again and he said, “Maybe I should have. At least then I wouldn’t have this mother hen calling me a dozen times a day.” He turned the phone off and put it back in his pocket.
Chapter 19
While the two old veterans were reminiscing, John Lee and Maddy were having lunch at Bernie's Diner with Deputy Greg Carson.
“Did you hear that Shoemaker found that missing car?"
“Yeah, heard the traffic on the radio. Was it trashed?"
"No,” Greg said, shaking his head. "It was parked at a house that was listed for sale. All locked up, just like someone parked it and left it the
re."
“I'll be damned," John Lee said. “That was good work on Shoemaker's part."
“Yeah, it was," Maddy added. Then she thought for a moment and asked, “Where at on Marsh Landing Road?"
"I'm not exactly sure," Greg said. “Why?"
“It’s only, like a mile or so from the railroad crossing where it dead ends at Coburn Road, isn’t it?"
“If that much," John Lee said.
"That's interesting," Maddy said, stirring her iced tea with a straw. “So why was her car there and why was she in another car with Lonnie McBride getting run over by a train?"
“Your guess is as good as mine, Maddy," Greg said.
“You know what? We need to take a drive by there, John Lee."
"If you say so,” he told her. “What are we looking for?"
"I don't know," she replied. “But it's a starting point, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess."
“Did you have any other ideas for what you wanted to do for the rest of the day?"
“I can't get over Darci McBride saying that there was bad blood between her husband and Vince Agosti. She insisted there was some kind of real estate deal that went bad, but yet Roger Bentley said that there was nothing like that going on. Somebody's lying to us."
"Are they, John Lee?"
"What do you mean, Maddy?"
“Well, according to Bentley and that Wanda woman, Darci comes across as kind of a flake, always hassling her husband, wanting to know where he was, things like that. Is it possible that this is just some exaggeration on her part? Or maybe she thought something was going on but there wasn't?"
"I guess it’s possible," John Lee said. The waitress brought their food and Carson lifted the bun off the top of the hamburger and shook his head.
"What's the matter?"
"Mayo," he said. “I hate mayonnaise, and I told her just the meat and cheese. Why do they always have to put mayo on everything?"
“If that's the worst problem you have all day, you’re a lucky man," John Lee said.