by Regina Darcy
“You mean to say that you will refuse my proposal?” he asked, evidently quite taken aback, given the surprise lingering in his dark eyes.
She hesitated. “Allow me to be clear, my lord,” she said, coming to a stop so that she might face him directly. “I do not wish to marry you, but as it stands, I now see that it may be my future. Therefore, I am contented to go along with our acquaintance such as it is, in the hopes that we may get along well enough to lead to a proposal. However, I do expect there to be some changes in your reputation, my lord. I will not stand to be mocked and ridiculed as your betrothed, whilst you continue to gad about with whichever young lady catches your eye.”
She arched an eyebrow, forcing herself to remain quite calm so that he could not miss her meaning. “My father will, I’m afraid, call you out if such a thing occurs, but for my own sake, I would like to see if we can find a way to rub along together without too much difficulty. Once I am satisfied that you are true in your dedication, then we shall set a wedding date.”
Lord Denhaven let out a heavy sigh, his forehead wrinkling for a moment. “I am not the sort of gentleman who has ever considered or sought marriage,” he stated, with a deep conviction that tore at her heart. “And yet, I think of myself as a gentleman who will always bear up under life’s consequences – although I arrogantly thought that such a thing as this would never occur.” He shook his head and laughed sadly, his lips twisting ruefully. “Besides which, my grandmother has had to be informed of what has occurred and is quite determined that we should wed. I do not think she will have it any other way, Lady Jemima.” His eyes slowly raised to meet her own, and Jemima’s breath caught, suddenly aware of just how very handsome he was.
“Therefore, I commit to doing as you ask. If we are to wed, then I shall have to live my life in a very different manner than before, I think.”
Jemima let out her breath, but not before she saw his lip curling a little with distaste. She could not for one moment forget that Lord Denhaven did not wish to marry her. Nor could she forget that she was not the most beautiful young lady of the ton, which was, she thought, something of a disappointment to Lord Denhaven. Had it been her sister in her place, then he might now be looking at her with less of a frustrated air and more of a welcoming one.
“I thank you for your understanding,” she murmured softly. “Then I suppose that, despite what has occurred, we should attempt to spend as much time together as we can, so that we might become better acquainted.” She did not particularly wish to do as she had suggested, of course, but Jemima, having resigned herself to this course of action, knew that she would have to do just that. “Is there much to do about these parts, even in the coldest of winter?”
Lord Denhaven chuckled, the first sign of genuine delight that she had seen on his face since they had first begun talking. “There is very little, I’m afraid, Lady Jemima, although I may be able to organise a sleigh ride at some point. Should you like that?”
This did bring Jemima a good deal of delight, and she found herself nodding fervently, her eyes shining with the thought of it. “Yes, indeed I would, Lord Denhaven,” she replied, as he turned to walk them back towards the house. “I think that would be quite wonderful, truly.”
Lord Denhaven smiled, paused, and offered her his arm. After hesitating for a moment, Jemima accepted it cautiously, seeing the way her breath fogged the air as they walked back towards the house. There was nothing but silence between them now, a tension that spoke of awkward unease after what had been a shared moment between them. Jemima’s attention was caught suddenly by the arrival of another carriage drawing near to the house, just as they climbed the steps.
“Ah,” Lord Denhaven murmured, letting go of her arm. “This must be Lady Smythe and her daughter, Miss Lilian.”
Jemima felt her heart drop, her mind suddenly clouding. The way that Lord Denhaven spoke Lady Smythe’s name made her stomach twist with a sudden fear that he would not easily be able to give up his roguish ways. She knew that Lady Smythe was a wealthy widow, and that her daughter, Miss Lilian, was only just out and, from what she recalled, truly beautiful. Suddenly, she had never felt more plain, more unobserved and unappealing.
Lord Denhaven’s steps slowed as she continued to ascend the steps, murmuring something about doing his duty without even so much as looking at her. Telling herself that it was simply the fact that Lord Denhaven was doing as he ought and greeting his guests, Jemima walked into the house alone, feeling her eyes burn with tears. Was Lord Denhaven truly able to change his ways? Or would she end up finding herself engaged to a man she knew she would never be able to marry?
FIVE
“Alexander!”
Wincing, Alexander closed his eyes tightly before turning to face the Dowager Countess, his grandmother. She was the only one who ever referred to him by his Christian name, which of course, was most improper, but then again his grandmother did not particularly care for propriety. She did just as she pleased and never once held back from telling Alexander her exact opinion on almost everything he did.
“Yes, Grandmama?” he asked cautiously, turning around to face her. He had, of course, had no other option but to invite the lady to his impromptu house party and had hoped that she would not be able to attend, given the short notice, but she had appeared without hesitation. Of course, he then had to tell her that he had a particular interest in Lady Jemima, mumbling some poor excuse as to why this was the case. The last three days had gone rather slowly for Alexander, given that he was constantly on his guard as to how he was behaving, aware that both his grandmother and the Marquess of Parkham were watching him.
“Alexander,” the older lady said, her dark brown eyes, so similar to his own and to his late father’s, settling on him with their usual severity. “You are not spending nearly enough time with Lady Jemima.”
Alexander sighed heavily and passed a hand over his eyes. “Grandmama, it has been but three days, and the first was spent allowing the guests time to settle in.”
The lady shook her head fervently, her grey curls pinned tightly to the back of her head where one small peacock feather resided. “It is not enough, Alexander,” she stated darkly. “I spoke in depth to Lord Parkham last evening, and he told me precisely why you are to propose to his daughter before Christmas. I have to say, Alexander, I am deeply disappointed with you.”
Her words stung, which came as something of a shock to Alexander. The Dowager had always been very vocal about her displeasure with Alexander’s behaviour, but it had never once caused him any sort of upset. To feel such an emotion now was somewhat astonishing. “I know, Grandmama,” he replied as calmly as he could. “But I am making amends, am I not? I am to wed the girl, once we are better acquainted. In fact, at this very moment, I am to find Lady Jemima and accompany her on a sleigh ride. I am only glad that it has snowed the last two days, else it should have been a rather difficult experience!”
His attempt at humour fell on deaf ears, for his grandmother only narrowed her eyes. “What possessed you to invite Lady Smythe and her daughter, Alexander?” his grandmother asked, shaking her head again. “Lady Smythe’s reputation is well known. I pray that you are not going to continue with your rakish ways whilst you are attempting to court Lady Jemima!”
Growing a little irritated by his grandmother’s questions, Alexander shrugged and made to turn away. “I know what is expected of me, Grandmama.”
Walking along the hallway, his feet making no noise on the long red carpet, Alexander ignored his grandmother’s continued comments and hurried around the corner towards the staircase, only to walk directly into Lady Jemima.
“Goodness!” he exclaimed, forced to reach out for her so that she would not fall back. “Lady Jemima, are you quite all right?” Looking down into her face, Alexander was surprised to see that her eyes were a little red rimmed, her face pale. It was obvious she had been crying. Something burned in his mind, a sudden wave of protectiveness crashing over him.
�
�I am quite all right, I thank you,” she stammered, not quite managing to look at him. “I do apologise, my lord.”
“It was not your fault,” he said encouragingly, a little surprised at the softness of her hand in his and finding, much to his shock, that he did not immediately want to let her go. Whilst they had talked over the last three days, their conversation had been rather bland, speaking of books and music and the like, but never anything deeper than that which lay on the surface. As he peered into her eyes, Alexander felt the urge to know why she had been crying begin to creep over him. “Where were you going?”
She blushed and ducked her head. “I was looking for you, my lord,” she stammered, her cheeks burning. “You did not say where we were to meet for the sleigh ride, and I did not want to be tardy.”
“I see.” He smiled at her and, to his relief, saw her lips catch in a smile also. “Well, you have found me now, have you not? Shall we walk together? As you can see, I only require my hat, gloves, and coat and the butler will have those waiting for me.” He took in her warm dress, her hat, and her bare hands, finally releasing her fingers from his own. “You have gloves, I hope?”
“Of course.” She did not say where they were but turned and began to walk along the hallway towards the front door, leaving him a step behind for a moment. Walking briskly to catch her, they walked together in silence, which as the seconds passed, left Alexander with a good deal of frustration. The desire to talk to her was growing, the urge to know what it was that had upset her rifling through his veins, but for whatever reason, he could not find the words. Perhaps it was because he had spent so many years of his life being caught up with only his own needs and requirements that he had almost forgotten what it was like to care about someone else.
“Are there any others coming to ride with us?” Her voice was quiet, but her eyes were hopeful as they glanced up at him.
Alexander could not tell whether it was because she desired to be in his company alone or because she wished to ensure she was accompanied. “There are one or two, I think,” he said with a slight shrug. “Although they should be already out at the stables. Is your sister not coming with us?”
She ducked her head. “No,” she said slowly, not quite looking at him. “No, she has chosen to remain indoors.”
“I see,” Alexander murmured, thinking it a little strange that a young lady such as Lady Madeline would choose to stay within the estate rather than come out for a ride in the countryside.
“I can go and fetch her, however, if you truly wish for her company,” Lady Jemima replied, still not looking at him.
“I know it would only take a word or two to have her join us.”
Alexander frowned, his steps slowing. “No, indeed, Lady Jemima. It does not trouble me if she does not attend, if that is what you are concerned about. The only person that I wish to be with during this sleigh ride is you.”
Her eyes darted to his, but she was not smiling. “That is kind of you to say, my lord,” she said in a resigned voice, as though she believed the only reason he had spoken to her in such a way was simply because he had to. “I am looking forward to the ride.”
***
The air was cold, the ground covered in white, fresh snow as Alexander led Lady Jemima towards the stables, glad that his staff had already cleared a path. Lady Jemima was looking out across the picturesque scene, her lips gently curving whilst her eyes seemed to glow with happiness. It was the first time Alexander had seen her so at ease. He was surprised to discover that, in this moment, he found her quite lovely. True, she did not possess the beauty of her sister, but there was a gentleness to her spirit that he was slowly beginning to uncover.
“Here,” he murmured, as they walked into the stables to find three other guests – two younger ladies accompanied by Lady Smythe – waiting expectantly for him.
“Oh, Lord Denhaven!” Lady Smythe exclaimed, her green eyes flashing with apparent delight. “We are all very excited about this sleigh ride. It looks quite wonderful!” She pressed his hand for just a moment, her warm manner sending crashing heat all through him. “Where shall we all seat ourselves?”
Alexander hesitated, turning to see that Lady Jemima had remained precisely where she was, not pushing herself forward and demanding that she be the one to sit by his side. Her eyes were fixed on the ground by his feet, two spots of colour appearing in her cheeks. Something in his heart tore. It seemed as though Lady Jemima was almost always overlooked.
“If you, Lady Smythe, would seat yourself with Miss Portia and your daughter on one side of the sleigh, I will sit with Lady Jemima on the other. The sleigh will be large enough to take us all.”
Just as he spoke, the stable hand appeared in the doorway, indicating that the sleigh and horses were ready.
“Capital,” he continued, ignoring the look of disappointment on Lady Smyth’s face. He knew full well what she was offering, what he could take from her if he so wished it, but to his surprise, he found himself wanting to remove himself from her company just as soon as possible. He wanted to show Lady Jemima that he was not going to play the part of rogue any longer. It was all so very strange, given that three days ago he had been tortured with the thought that he would never be able to continue with his life as he had known it.
“Shall we?” Offering Lady Jemima his arm, he smiled down into her eyes as she accepted it, seeing the startled look cross her face for just a moment before he walked outside. Yes, it did appear that Lady Jemima was well used to being forgotten, to linger in the shadows. Well, it would not be so any longer.
After she was seated in the sleigh, covered with a heap of blankets so as to keep out the chill, Alexander waited until the rest of the guests took their seat, ignoring the way Lady Smythe held his hand for a fraction too long as he helped her sit down. Quickly climbing in next to Lady Jemima, he smiled at her as the sleigh began to pull away, the runners gliding smoothly over the fresh snow.
“Have you been on a sleigh ride before, Lady Jemima?” he asked, deliberately ignoring the rest of his guests. “It is quite… magical, in its own way.”
She paused before replying. “I have been in a sleigh before, Lord Denhaven, but this is truly wonderful.” Her eyes drifted over his shoulder and out to the cold December landscape behind her. A gentle smile drifted over her face as she took in the white hillsides, the way that the snow seemed to sparkle and glisten as they passed by. A small sigh of contentment left her lips, seeming to chase away the lingering sadness that had remained in her expression since he had bumped into her.
“There should be more snow soon,” he murmured, taking in the heavy grey clouds that were being pulled closer with every moment. “Not that I shall mind.”
Lady Jemima laughed softly. “Not even if your guests are unable to return to town and are forced to remain here?”
“No,” he grinned, delighting in her laughter. “Not even then. I confess Lady Jemima, that I am growing rather fond of your company.”
Her smile faded, her laughter dying away. “You need not overdo it, my lord,” she stated with a hint of bitterness in her voice.
“I am not,” he promised, realising with shock that Lady Jemima believed all of his kind words and compliments to be forced, to be almost expected given that they were courting. “You are a lady who has a good many things to say, I believe, although you will not often allow yourself to speak them so.”
Lady Jemima’s eyes shot to his, her cheeks rosy in the cold. Her hazel eyes were flecked with shades of green and gold, leaving him speechless for a moment. They were, in their own way, quite mesmerising. Lady Jemima shivered and turned her head away.
“If you are cold, Lady Jemima,” he said in a low voice that he prayed only she could hear. “Then you might wish to consider sitting a little closer to me. I will help keep you warm.”
She shot him a quick glance before shaking her head. “I am quite all right, Lord Denhaven, I thank you.”
***
Nothing more was said
between them for the remainder of the sleigh ride. Alexander was forced to converse with Lady Smythe, Miss Portia and Miss Lilian, although he managed to keep the conversation solely on the views that surrounded them, the coldness of the day, and their plans for Christmas Day.
Lady Jemima said very little, although she did smile upon occasion. The remainder of the time, she simply looked out at the rolling fields or let her eyes rest on the dusting of snow on the tall pine trees that surrounded the estate’s border. The grey sky seemed to loom ever closer, until Alexander felt the first flakes of snow fall onto his cheeks. It was time to return home.
“Lady Jemima,” he said, as the sleigh came to a stop at the bottom of the estate’s driveway, just as he had told the driver to do. “If you are not too chilled, would you mind walking with me back to the estate?”
Lady Jemima slowly turned her head, a little flustered. “Walk with you, my lord?”
“Yes,” he said, laughing. “The estate is not too far away, and I have heard that a good way to get one’s feet warm again is simply to walk.” Lifting one eyebrow, he let his smile linger. “What say you?”
“Well, I –”
“We might all walk with you,” Lady Smythe interrupted, sending a sharp glance towards Lady Jemima who, upon being given this, seemed to wilt back into her chair. “After all, it is –”
Somewhat irritated at Lady Smythe’s insistent efforts to be in his continued company, Alexander rose carefully and climbed out of the sleigh. “I’m afraid, Lady Smythe, that on this occasion, it cannot be so. I wish for Lady Jemima’s company for a short time.” So saying, he held out one hand towards the lady, noting her hesitation before reaching to take it. Warmth and gladness filled his heart as she rose to stand beside him, deliberately ignoring Lady Smythe’s spiteful looks. “We will see you back at the house, of course.”