by Staci Hart
Several weeks had passed since he had met Kim, and he spent most of that time in Las Vegas. Nakano had met with a few members of other clans, but always in public, and always as a spectacle. The meetings didn’t seem to be business, but then that could be the idea. He didn’t want to blow his cover and pick anyone up, though. Not until he was sure.
Every time he was with Kim, it was harder and harder to leave. He had to return to New York for the fundraiser they were climbing the steps to attend, and Yuki’s appearance was required, much to her pleasure. She had been gloating on the way, taking the opportunity to touch him, playing at the pretense of caring for him. But it was all a lie. That was all Yuki knew.
As they wound their way through the crowd and around the exhibits, he watched Yuki. Her dark hair fell in soft waves, her red lips curved in a glowing smile. A diamond necklace sat heavy across her collarbone, twinkling under the museum lights. She pulled him around, and he felt like a prize, as if the whole display was a show, which he supposed it was.
A waiter in a white tuxedo brought him a scotch, which he accepted gratefully, as Yuki gossiped with her friends and chattered with benefactors. Every interjection to the conversation that he tried to make was dismissed by Yuki, but every time that he tried to walk away, she dug her fingers into his arm. He knew that if he defied her in public, at a formal event, the repercussions would not be worth the few minutes of peace he would find away from her.
Listening to her speak, observing her through the night, all he could think was how different Kim was, and how much he loved her for that. Where Yuki was manipulative, Kim was compassionate. Yuki’s mask was Kim’s truth. They were as different as the sun and the moon, warmth and coldness, love and loathing.
As they drove home late that night, he stared out the window while Yuki went on about the party, and the reality of the shift that his life had taken became very clear. Because of Kim, he knew love, and that knowledge threw his relationship with Yuki into high relief. He wished that Kim had been on his arm all night, and emptiness hollowed out his chest with the knowing that could never be.
Take What You Can Get
KIM ROLLED OVER IN BED and sighed. She tucked her hand under her pillow as she watched Katsu sleep in the soft morning light. His back rose and fell slowly, and his black lashes brushed his cheeks. He looked so serene that she couldn’t stand to wake him, resisting the temptation to trace her fingers along the tattoos on his back.
Pain tore through her chest, just as it did every time she remembered that she couldn’t have him all the time, and that it would forever be that way. She tried to not think about it, but every minute that they were together made it that much more impossible to ignore.
It had been a month since they met, and he had just come back to her after being gone for a few days. She was relieved to have him there, thankful for the time she could spend with him, knowing it likely wouldn’t last. The thought sat heavy in her mind as she watched him for a while. She slipped out of bed and pulled on a silk robe, pausing once more before she left the dim room to look at him for a moment longer.
You’ve got it bad.
Her brow furrowed. At first, it was easy to think that their situation was temporary. But it became clear pretty quickly that there was more to their relationship than was going to pass quietly into the night to be forgotten.
She sighed and made her way into the kitchen. She wanted more, and she didn’t. She couldn’t ask him for more, and even if she could, he couldn’t give it to her. She knew what she was walking into from the start, but that didn’t stop her from being shocked at how hard it was.
Kim laid the paper filter in the coffee maker and scooped in the grounds. She closed the compartment with a snap and pulled out the glass pot to fill it with water. She wasn’t sure what the next day would hold for the two of them, or the next week, or month, so all she could do was keep taking it one day at a time.
They had both risked so much. Being together was dangerous for both of them, and she knew she should leave. Walk away. But even though her head told her to run, her heart wanted her to stay. So she did.
The water overflowed, and she cursed under her breath, dumping the excess out. She poured the water into the tank, slid the pot into its resting place, and pushed the button to start the machine.
It’s all too soon. You don’t have to decide yet, she told herself for the thousandth time as she gazed out her kitchen window. And she didn’t. She wasn’t cautious about him…it wasn’t that. It was just that she didn’t want to count on anything past the moments that they lived in together. It was an impossible line to draw, and as unsure as she felt balancing the fence, she wasn’t ready to walk away.
She wondered if she could ever walk away, and her heart flashed with pain again. Kim took a deep breath, pushing the thought away, and turned to the dishes in the sink, hoping to scrub her feelings away as she tackled cups and plates with the soap and sponge.
Katsu let out a heavy breath as his mind slowly started to creak with consciousness. What had become the familiar scent of lilac shot memories of Kim through his thoughts, and a smile passed his lips. He looked over to find her gone, and even though he could hear her in the other room, he missed her, wished she was in his arms.
His guilt bubbled up again at the thought, spilling over to burn through his heart. He was so selfish. So unfair. He wanted her, but he couldn’t give her what she deserved. Couldn’t give her what he wanted to.
In only a few short weeks, he had found someone who could make him happy for the first time in his life. She had pulled down his walls, crushed them, and he was free. He had been resigned to live life in his marriage full of disdain and contempt, never seeking more. But from the minute he first saw Kim, everything changed.
He loved her and was sure she felt the same, but they wouldn’t say the words. They wouldn’t speak about the future. They lived in each second they had together, and when he wasn’t with her, he only lived for the time when he would see her again.
He wondered again how she could accept him and their situation. In the back of his mind, he was waiting for her to walk away, to tell him it was too much to ask, or that she had found someone who could give her more. Give her marriage. Give her a life that was theirs together. And he would let her go. He wasn’t sure if he would survive it, but he would let her go.
Kastu pulled back the covers and stepped out of bed, pulling on pajama pants before making his way to the kitchen.
The morning sun shone on Kim as she stood in front of the sink, scrubbing a plate, humming. Her golden hair glowed like a halo around her face, and her skin looked so soft that his fingers tingled, wanting to touch it. He smiled and walked to her.
She turned her head, and her eyes twinkled as she smiled. “Good morning.”
He pressed up behind her, nestling into her hair. “Good morning. Why did you not wake me?”
She closed her eyes and leaned into him. “You just looked so peaceful.”
His arms wound around her waist. “Mmm,” he rumbled into her hair, and with his chest pressed up against her, she could feel the sound through her body. His hands ran over the silk of her robe as he bent down to kiss her neck, and she tilted her head away to extend it in offering.
She jumped when she dropped the plate she was holding, not realizing it had still been in her hand. “Oh,” she said softly, her voice raw. “Let me—”
“No,” he whispered and turned her around, pressing his mouth to hers.
She laid her soapy hands on his chest, and water dripped down his torso. She pressed her palms into his soft skin, running them up to his neck as his hands moved over the silk across her back and waist, and his body pressed against hers with only the thin fabric between them. He kissed her with ownership, with love, with promise. The sensations all happening at once overloaded her senses, and her arms squeezed tighter around his neck.
His hand found her cheek and trailed the neckline of her robe to cupped her breast, thumbing her
nipple through the silk. She gasped and pushed her hips against him in answer. He dropped his hand to the tie of her robe and hooked a finger in. When he tugged, the tie fell away, exposing a strip of snowy skin between her breasts, and he traced a line from her neck to her sternum, across the curves of her stomach, and down further to part her, rolling his thumb around as he skimmed her opening with his fingers.
He wound his free arm around her waist, and she leaned against him, grateful for the support as her body went soft to his touch. He hoisted her up and sat her on the counter as she parted her legs, and his hands moved to her hips. He pressed his body into her, lifting his face to hers. Her lips parted, and she ran her hands down his back to his waist and pushed his pants to the ground.
She gasped as he pulled her toward him, hanging her off the edge of the counter, holding her steady with his strong arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking into his eyes as he pulled her down and slid into her. She pressed her head back into the cabinets as he filled her up, holding her hips as he rocked into her, faster and harder until she cried out, surging around him as he surged into her.
He buried his face in her neck, feeling her pulse race under his lips as he lifted her up. She wrapped herself around him, holding on to him with everything, and he never wanted to let her go.
Snakes and Venom
YUKI TOOK A LONG DRAG of her skinny cigarette as she observed the city from her balcony.
Katsu had been gone almost constantly for a month on some job for her father, but his absence was nothing new. What was new was Katsu.
He had changed. She couldn’t get a rise out of him, couldn’t seem to hold his attention, as much as she tried. She had used all of her usual tricks, and he barely acknowledged her. But she saw it in his eyes. He was happy, and it had nothing to do with her. He had no reason to be happy, unless he’d found that happiness with someone else.
Her chest burned, and her ears went hot at the thought. She took a final drag and flicked her cigarette off the balcony, watching as the wind carried it away, tumbling down toward the street far below.
Yuki walked to the phone in the kitchen. She dialed a quick set of numbers and waited as it rang.
“Hai.”
“Send Kato up.”
“Hai.”
She hung up the phone and turned to inspect herself in the mirror. She pursed her lips and fluffed her hair, then ran her hand over her top, tucking an errant fold into the band of her skirt. A knock rapped on the door, and she appraised herself once more before answering.
Kato’s eyes held hers for longer than was entirely proper before dropping as he stepped into the foyer. She smiled to herself as she closed the door, putting on her doe eyes before turning to face him.
“Hello, Kato. I…I wanted to talk to you. Please, come in. Sit.” She opened her arm to her living room, and he sat down on the couch.
She sat next to him and twisted her hands in her lap. “Katsu has been gone so much lately. When he’s home, he barely looks at me, or touches me…” She glanced away and bit her lip. “I’ve been so lonely.”
Yuki glanced at him, and his face was soft. This is too easy.
“Kato, how long have you been on my detail?”
“Five years.”
She touched his arm and trailed her fingers to his hand, to his knee. “You’ve always taken care of me. You’ve taken care of me more than my own husband has.” She tilted her face to his, watching his eyes on her lips. “I know you care for me more than your duty requires. Thank you for that.”
“It is my honor.”
“Katsu hasn’t warmed my bed in some time. I don’t suspect that he loves me. But if I knew for sure … perhaps I could let myself love another.” She ran her hand up his thigh and squeezed gently. “Tell me, Kato. You must know. Has my husband found a lover?”
She leaned forward, noticing that he wasn’t breathing. He blinked and shook his head, breaking her trance to stare at the ground in front of him.
She sat back, her blood rushing as she peered at him. “Please, Kato. Tell me.”
He turned to her with pleading eyes, and she knew.
“I understand,” she said, numb as she touched his face. “I won’t ask you to say it out loud.” Yuki brushed her lips to his cheek, then stood. “I need some time to think. Please, go. I’ll call for you again.”
Yuki thought for a moment he was about to reach for her, but instead he bowed and turned to leave her apartment.
She paced the room with trembling hands.
An affair. He’s having an affair.
Yuki’s mind raced, wondering who she was, where she lived. Vegas made the most sense, as that’s where Katsu had been. She would find out who the tramp was, the bitch who stole from her. Who took what was hers by right. And then, she would make Katsu pay.
———— Olympus ————
Hera’s hand froze as she put the back of her diamond earring on, and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end.
She roared, teeth bared as she slapped her hands onto her vanity and stood, shaking everything on the surface as the stool tipped over behind her.
Aphrodite.
Her lip curled as she glared at her reflection. Aphrodite interfered on purpose, to toy with her. She had no regard or respect for commitment and had crossed Hera yet again, making a mockery of her.
Not this time.
Her cheeks and ears were hot as she looked back in on Yuki, and a breeze brushed by, full of the words Hera wanted her to hear.
———— New York ————
Katsu spun his keys around by the ring as he waited in the elevator on his way up to his apartment in New York. That month had been the happiest of his life, and he smiled as he stepped into the hall, looking forward to a few days from then, when she would be back in his arms again. The thought fueled every step, every breath.
He opened his apartment door and set his keys in the dish. The lights were off, and he wondered where Yuki was, hoping that she was gone. He set down his briefcase and walked into the living room, stopping short when he saw the light of her cigarette flare in the dark.
Katsu turned on a lamp.
“Welcome home, Husband.” Her voice was laden with disdain.
“Yuki,” he said, his own voice flat.
“I learned something very interesting today. Would you like to hear?”
He cursed in his mind. She knows. “It seems you will tell me whether I care to hear or not.”
She took a long drag of her cigarette. “I learned about your little whore.” Her brown eyes narrowed as she exhaled a stream of smoke. “Did you really think you could hide her from me?”
Katsu walked around the couch to stand in front of her, calm and ready to weather her rage. “I did not realize I was hiding anything.”
She sneered and leaned forward to snuff out her cigarette. “Don’t fuck with me, Katsu.” She stood to face him. “Are you going to deny it?”
He contemplating answering her. He wanted to tell her the truth. That he had tried and failed to love her. That he was in love with Kim. To try to explain, help her understand. But he knew it would do no good. She would never accept his answer, or his apologies, and if he tried to give them to her, things would end so much worse. It would be over faster, and with less pain to both of them, if he let her explode and then burn her anger down.
“Say it, Katsu,” she shrieked. “Tell me. I want to hear you say it.”
He said nothing, only looked away blankly at the city beyond the windows, his jaw set.
She threw herself at him, hanging onto his arms as he stood still, an untouchable mass in the room. “You can’t ignore me. I won’t let you ignore me.” She slapped at his arms, pushing him, swearing with her teeth bared, but he didn’t acknowledge her.
Yuki turned and screamed as she picked up a crystal vase and launched it with both hands into the wall near his head, and something in him snapped.
Katsu’s eyes met hers, and she realize
d her mistake. The look on his face, in his eyes, tore through her like blades.
Yuki’s face went slack as she crumpled to the ground, and Katsu stared down at her for a long moment before he turned to the door, picked up his keys, and shut the shambles of his marriage behind him.
The Means to End
YUKI WOKE WITH HER HEAD pounding. She lifted her sleeping mask from her eyes and glanced at the clock, squinting to read the blue numbers through the banging in her head. It was two in the afternoon, and the sun shone through the curtains as she laid her head back on her pillow.
She remembered the night in a flash. Katsu. She wondered if he was home, but that was unlikely.
Not after…
The pounding in her head amplified as her heart beat faster. The way that he looked at her, she knew. She was losing him, if he wasn’t lost to her already. It wasn’t a situation she would accept.
Yuki sat tentatively and glanced at the nearly empty bottle of gin next to her bed, contemplating a quick drink in the hopes it would help, but she dismissed the idea. She slipped out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom.
Her hair was wild, and mascara pooled under her eyes and cheeks. She looked like hell, and after the night that she’d had, it was no wonder.
Yuki took a deep breath and turned on the water. The cool water was crisp on her face as she splashed it across her cheeks. She picked up a cotton ball from a crystal jar and worked on rectifying her face, replaying the night before. Katsu walking away, the slam of the door behind him. Her cheeks flushed.
He could not leave her so easily. She would make him stay, whether he wanted to or not. Even if he was her prisoner there, she would have him. Katsu was hers, and she would never share him. Ever.
A few hours later, Yuki pushed open the massive doors of her father’s office and stepped inside as his secretary shuffled behind her in protest. Several men sat in chairs in front of his desk, and Tanaka sat behind. A shadow passed over his face as she walked in.