by Staci Hart
Josie wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs as she paced, not sure why she was even more nervous than before she’d called him. She hadn’t really expected Jon to keep going, and certainly didn’t think he would have any leads. But that was why she needed him, after all. She tried to balance her relief and gratitude with her intent to be angry, repeating her mantra in her mind.
He hurt you. He left you. He chose her.
He knocked, and she jogged to the door, hesitating with her hand over the knob for a moment before she pulled it open.
Jon leaned against the doorframe on his forearm with twinkling eyes and a crooked smile, looking proud of himself with his dark hair loose around his face. She felt something inside her shift, a flutter in her chest when she looked at him. It was the remnant of something that she’d buried so far down inside that she didn’t even realize it was still alive. She felt herself smile back at the smug bastard.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
She rolled her eyes to cover for the fact that she’d been standing there like an idiot for a solid thirty seconds ogling. “Come in, smartass.”
He made his way in, and she smelled the leather of his jacket as he walked by.
“Is that any way to treat your knight in shining armor?” he asked.
“No horse, no knight.” She laughed but was glad his back was turned when she flushed.
He dug into his back pocket and handed her a slip of paper with the name, address, social, and driver’s license number on it. Her mouth hung open like she held the map to El Dorado in her hands.
“I can’t believe it. You actually did it.” she whispered. Her eyes met Jon’s. “You must have been owed one hell of a favor.”
“Jimmy and I have been friends a long time, and yes, he owed me one hell of a favor.”
She sat down heavily on the couch, her mind racing as she stared at the scrap of paper. “Washington. He’s definitely trying to get as far away as possible. Why not just jump the border?”
“His picture is posted at every border crossing from Vancouver to El Paso. I called in a favor on that one, too. But it’s cheaper and faster for him to get US papers than to try to get Canadian papers and a passport.”
Josie opened her laptop and pulled up an interactive map, inputting the cities until the direct route was outlined in blue. “As smart as he’s been, I don’t believe he would take the fast and straight route, which means it will take him twice as long to get where he’s going. Do you think we can catch him on the road?”
“I think it’s possible.” Jon sat down next to her, and their thighs touched as he leaned in to look at her computer screen. Goosebumps trailed up her arms and shoulders to the hairs on the back of her neck, and she took a breath, resisting the urge to lean into him.
He hurt you. He left you. He smells good. Wait, what? She cleared her throat.
“He would stay off the interstate, but would be as direct as possible. Something like this.” She pointed at the screen to a scenic route. “I think he’d be cautious and stay off the road when there wasn’t a lot of traffic. Assuming he stopped every night, at about five hundred miles per day at the slower pace … that would put him about … here.” She pointed to a small town in South Dakota.
Jon nodded. “If we leave now, we could take the highway to gain on him. Once we hit around here,” he pointed to a spot in Montana, “he can only take the highway. There’s no other way to get into Spokane, not without taking about a four hour detour. I think he’d risk a few hundred miles on the interstate to save the time. We should be able to catch up with him at that point.”
“But what about this route?” She pointed to an alternate route that ran through North Dakota as her heart sank. There were too many variables. “This is too risky, Jon.”
“I don’t know. I think he would go through Montana, where he’s from. He’s familiar with it, and I think he’d take a route he knows over one he doesn’t. The real question though is how we’re going to find him.” He stared at the screen for a moment. “He’s got to use cash, which means he’ll only be able to stay at motels. The number of possible places on either route are limited.”
She brightened up as a spark of hope lit in her. “I can fax them all of his info and offer a reward for information.”
“Fax? That’s current.”
Josie laughed. “I’ve got an online fax account that can send to fax machines via email.”
“Fancy,” he said with an eyebrow wiggle. “That’s a damn good idea. We’re sure to get a hit off one of them. All right. We need to leave as soon as possible. How much time do you need?”
“Just let me get my stuff together. I need to call my dad at some point too, but I might wait until we’re far enough that he can’t say no.”
“Probably smart. Anything I can do?”
“Start researching the motels, and get a spreadsheet going.”
He was already googling. “On it.”
Josie headed back to her room and grabbed her duffle bag. Her hands trembled a little as she packed, excited and nervous and not exactly sure what had gotten into her. That bastard had found a way to wiggle his way in, and in a way that was undeniably chivalrous, even if he’d done the opposite of what she’d said, and even if he was a jerk who left her. At that point, she was having a hard time staying mad at him.
She felt the rush of adrenaline that came with every chase, the clarity that it brought. The relief she found in having a plan was a tangible thing. There was nothing she hated more than winging it. The last few days had been proof of that.
Josie came out with her bag, and Jon turned with a smirk on his face.
“Got your toothbrush? You can’t use mine if you forgot it.”
She tried not to think about the fact that she’d be sleeping in the same room as him. “I got it. Don’t forget your hair ties, because you can’t use mine.”
“I’m good.” He held up his wrist where a couple of rubber bands were wound.
She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. He hurt you. He left you. He chose her. “Come on, let’s get going.”
He snapped her laptop closed and handed it to her.
She cradled it in the crook of her arm and grabbed her keys. “I’ll drive.”
“Oh, no you won’t,” he chuckled. “We’re taking my car.”
Josie propped a hand on her hip and eyeballed him. “I’m driving. My car gets better gas mileage.”
“No way am I riding across the country in a Mazda. We’re taking my Jeep.”
“Your Jeep sticks out too much. Could your tires be any bigger?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, they could. I’m driving. I’ll pay for all the gas, and it doesn’t matter what car we take because your hair draws more attention than if we were driving a Testarossa.”
“Jon, come on—”
“Stop being a control freak, Jo.” There was no arguing with him, not with that look on his face and that tone in his voice. “Look, it’ll give you the time to research while I drive because I’m also never gonna drive a Mazda.”
She sighed, knowing it was a lost cause. “Fine, you win.”
“Thank you. Now let’s go.”
They walked the block to his place, and he turned to her when they reached the stairs to his building. “Come on up, Jo.”
Josie looked warily at the door. “I’ll just wait here.”
“I need you to make sure I don’t forget any other important supplies like headbands and extra underwear.”
She shook her head. The last thing she wanted to see was where he lived with Tori and their kid, and the last person in the entire world that she wanted to see was Tori. “I’m not going in there, Jon.”
“Tori’s not home, and neither is Lola,” he said, soft and serious.
Josie squirmed and shifted her duffle bag on her shoulder. She had been so sidetracked before they left that she didn’t realize she had to pee until they started walking. She was ready to get on the road and didn’t want to pul
l over unless they had to, so she figured if no one was there, she could bear seeing reminders of the reasons why Jon left her.
She waved him on. “Fine, fine.”
They made their way up the stairs and to his door, and Josie braced herself. When they stepped in, she heard a little girl yelling “Daddy!” as she ran through the apartment, and Josie went numb, wishing she could sink into the floor as the toddler jumped into his arms.
“Hey there, baby. What are you doin’ here?” His voice was tight, and she knew he was just as surprised as she was.
Well, maybe not just as surprised.
“I thought you and Mama were going to the zoo?” He smoothed her hair with his big hand, and she wanted to die.
“No zoo,” Lola said, and poked her lip out.
Tori walked around the corner in her pajamas. Her nose was cherry red. “Hey. I had a crazy allergy attack on the subway, how weird is that? Everything smelled like grass and pine, and I don’t know what came over me. We got halfway there, but I couldn’t stop sneezing. It was miserable, so we turned around and came—” Her eyes flew open when she saw Josie. “Oh my God.”
Josie froze, and reminded herself to breathe as she gripped the strap of her bag. “I’m just going to wait outside.”
Tori shook herself. “Don’t be silly. Hi, Josie, right? I don’t think we’ve officially met.” Tori stuck out her hand, and her smile was welcoming and curious, though her voice was worn from her stuffy nose.
“Hi,” Josie said as she took Tori’s hand, absolutely mortified, then glanced at Jon, who looked equally mortified.
“Come on into the kitchen. Would you like some tea?”
Josie knew it was a peace offering, one that she couldn’t refuse no matter how uncomfortable she was. “Sure, whatever you’re having. Could I use your restroom?”
“Sure, it’s just down the hallway there.” Tori pointed across the living room.
“Thanks.” Josie laid her bag in the entryway and gave Tori a small smile, but shot laser-kill eyes at Jon. He looked apologetic, but she couldn’t give a single, solitary fuck.
His little girl grinned from his arms and waved at her, and Josie softened up. She looked just like him with dark, wavy hair, and intelligent blue eyes.
“Hiyee.” Lola’s little wrist twisted.
“Hi.” She smiled at Lola, who giggled and tucked her head in the crook of Jon’s neck. Josie swore she heard a tiny pop as her ovaries exploded.
She looked away and walked to the bathroom, unwilling to meet Jon’s eyes again, unable to process her emotions as she closed the door and looked in the bathroom mirror, wishing she could disappear.
Jon was as tight as a drum as he watched the entire exchange go down, waiting on someone to freak the fuck out. Josie looked like she could run screaming but kept her composure, even though it was paper thin. He watched her walk away, and as soon as the bathroom door closed, he entered into a hissing argument with Tori.
“What the fuck, Tori?”
“Da fuck, To-wi?” Lola echoed.
“Jesus, Jon, watch your mouth.” She reached for the little girl and stood her on the ground. “Go play for a little bit, okay?”
“Okay, Mama.” Lola ran off to her room.
He glared at Tori. “Of all the shit timing.”
“It’s not like I planed it. What in the world is going on?” she whispered.
“Jimmy Li found a trace on Rhodes, and we think we know where he’s headed. We’re going after him.”
Tori frowned. “Chasing a serial killer? Tell me why I shouldn’t be freaking out right now.”
“We’re not going to have an issue bringing him in. Don’t worry.”
“Well, your confidence is reassuring, but damn, Jon.”
“I know, but we’ll be okay. I promise.” He hoped it was one he could keep.
“So … together? You’re going together?” she asked as her enthusiasm sparked.
“Of course together, why else would we be here together?”
“So you found all this out on your own? Or did she ask you for help?” Her eyebrows inched up, and a grin split her face.
“Both. I found out and was on her way over when she called me.”
Tori was practically bouncing. “Oh my God. This is it, Jon. This is your shot.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I know. Don’t you think I know?” He glanced over his shoulder when he heard the toilet flush. “Tori, I swear to God, you better not say a word. I don’t need your help, so keep your sledgehammer—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she said with the wave of her hands. “Don’t worry, Romeo. I’m not going to do anything to fudge your chances.”
The door opened, and Josie exited the bathroom with her chin high and a mask of platitude on her face.
You can do this, she said to herself.
She was determined to walk out of the situation with some shred of dignity, and repeated one of the many lessons that her grandmother taught her: Good manners are made of petty sacrifices.
Jon and Tori were whispering, but they both straightened up when they saw her. Jon looked like a rat in a snake den, and Tori gave her another warm smile. Josie tried to give her one back, but knew it was bullshit. She assessed the pair of them as she approached, noting their body language and proximity, and realized with more relief than she was comfortable with that they really weren’t together. She hadn’t even known she’d doubted it before that moment.
She watched as his eyes bounced uneasily between the two women. “I’m gonna go grab my stuff. I’ll just be a minute.” He gave Tori a pointed look, but she just kept on smiling as he turned and walked away.
“Come on, Josie,” Tori said benignly. “Let’s see about that tea.”
They walked into the kitchen, and Tori started her tea pot.
“How about Vanilla Chai?”
“Sounds great,” Josie said as she took a seat at the table.
Lola came running in with a brush and a Barbie doll and thrust them toward Josie. “You brush the hair for Barbie?”
Tori held her hands out for the doll. “Here baby, let Mama help you with that.”
The little girl hugged the Barbie and brush to her chest and gave Tori the stink eye. “No.” She took a step closer to Josie.
“It’s okay,” Josie said as she turned to the little girl. “You want me to help you?”
“Yes, pwease.”
Josie smiled as she took the brush and the doll, whose hair was snarled. As she brushed out the Barbie’s mane, Lola laid her hand on Josie’s thigh and leaned in to watch.
“Ooh, so pooty!”
Josie couldn’t help but laugh, completely won over. “She is something else.”
Tori was leaning against the counter, watching them with a smile on her face. “That she is.” She pushed off and sat down across from Josie. “I wanted to tell you, Josie, for what it’s worth … I really am sorry. We never meant—”
Josie held up her hand, unwilling to have that conversation with the physical manifestation of her pain who sat across from her, offering tea. “Tori, please. Please don’t. It’s just better for all of us if we leave it alone, okay?”
Tori took a breath. “Okay. Whatever you want.”
Josie nodded. “Thank you.”
“Please, if you ever want to talk about it—”
Jon cleared his throat from behind Josie with his eyes on Tori. He’d practically dumped a drawer directly into his bag in the rush to get the two women out of the same room. Josie glanced at him, then back at Tori, who looked mildly cowed but mostly challenging. He wouldn’t be surprised to see her stick her tongue out at him.
“I’ve got my stuff, Jo. You ready?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
Tori jumped up. “Hang on, let me get your tea to go. Sugar?”
“Just a little,” Josie answered.
Jon watched from the threshold of the room as Tori poured out tea into a paper to-go cup with a little spoon of sugar and ha
nded it over to Josie, who looked like she had a porcupine in her pocket. Tori gave her a knowing smile, and Jon shot her what he hoped was an authoritative look as Josie thanked her and turned. Tori gave him two thumbs up with a stupid grin on her face behind Josie’s back.
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll text you and let you know how things are going.”
“All right. You two be careful, okay?”
Lola ran to Jon, and he knelt down. She looked at him with the biggest blue eyes on the planet. “Bye, Daddy.”
He scooped her into his arms and kissed her cheek, squeezing her tight. Her tiny arms wrapped around his neck, and he took a deep breath through his nose, smelling her baby soap and lavender. He closed his eyes and committed the moment to memory. “I love you.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
He passed the little girl to Tori, along with a good-sized portion of his heart. “Call me if you need anything.”
“We’ll be fine, Jon. You just take care of yourself. Come back in one piece.”
They smiled at each other, and he nodded.
Josie watched the whole exchange with her heart in her stomach and her mind blown. Thinking about Jon having a baby and seeing him with her were different things. He was a father. That little girl was real, a tiny person who was beautiful and smart and seemed to be his entire life. Josie was angry with him for how he’d left her, but suddenly, she understood why. The made-up version of his life that existed in her mind wasn’t the reality, and she was ashamed of herself for assuming something so wrong.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” Jon slung his bag over his shoulder and brushed past Josie to open the door.
“Thanks again, Tori,” Josie said as she picked up her bag.
“Anytime, Josie.”
“Bye, bye,” Lola waved her chubby little hand again.
“Bye, bye, Lola,” Josie said and wiggled her fingers at the little girl.
They left his apartment in silence, neither speaking until they reached the Jeep in the parking garage. The fluorescent lights hummed above them, and their feet echoed against the concrete as they walked around to her door. Jon unlocked it, pausing with his fingers wrapped around the handle as he searched her face.