by Patricia Kay
The question was, did he want Joanna or not? What if he waited too long while he was trying to make up his mind and she and Jamison hooked up?
Maybe that would be for the best. Maybe Jamison was better for her. After all, he was part of her world, a real artist, not a wannabe like Marcus.
Joanna didn’t care about Marcus’s money, he already knew that, and his position and family were probably a detriment with her, not an advantage.
What do I have to offer her? A life she probably doesn’t want and wouldn’t enjoy. A life I’m stuck with and see no hope of changing anytime soon. Is that fair?
Marcus knew the right thing, the sensible thing, would be to stand aside and allow whatever developed between Jamison and Joanna to develop without Marcus’s interference.
But was he strong enough to do that?
Could he really step aside and watch the woman he wanted more than he’d ever wanted a woman before hook up with the artist he already secretly envied?
* * *
Joanna had just settled down to watch TV for a while when her cell rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway.
“Joanna? It’s Jamison Wells.”
Wishing she’d thought harder about what she’d say to him, she muted the television set and said brightly, “Well, hi. I didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon.”
“I haven’t been able to think about much else but calling you ever since you left the gallery today,” he said.
Joanna swallowed. Why did he have to be so nice? And why had she been so stupid as to get involved with Marcus on anything but a business level? “That’s an awfully nice thing to say.”
“It’s the truth. I—I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I know I’m a bit odd. My mother says so all the time,” Joanna said in an attempt to lighten the conversation.
“You’re not odd. You’re...wonderful.”
Joanna felt like crying. If only Marcus was on the other end of the phone. If only he was the one saying such sweet things. “Jamison, look, I really appreciate—”
“Don’t say it,” he interrupted. “Don’t blow me off. I mean everything I said. It’s not a line.”
Yes, she knew he meant it. She could hear the sincerity in his voice. She’d seen the admiration in his eyes. He was a straight arrow. That was the problem. If he was handing her a line, she’d have no problem turning him down.
“I know it’s not a line,” she said gently.
“I really like you. I—I want us to get to know each other better.”
When she would have responded, he quickly said, “Wait, don’t say anything yet. Let me finish.”
Joanna sighed, but quietly, so he wouldn’t hear her. “Okay.”
“I’ve decided to stay in town this week. Marcus told me the company suite—that’s where I’m staying—is free all week and I don’t think he’ll care if I use it. I thought maybe we could spend some time together and get to know each other...and just see how we feel.”
“The thing is,” Joanna said, “I’m working out a notice at my day job and I’ll be tied up all day through Friday. And at night, I need to work on my designs as well as get ready to move.” She explained about the new place she’d rented over the weekend. “I’m not going to have time to go out and do fun things.”
“I don’t mind watching you work. In fact, I’d really like that.”
“I can’t really work on my designs with an audience.” This was true. Joanna worked best on her own. She was even a bit worried about how it would be to have helpers. Sometimes it was a real hindrance to be such a control freak.
“I wouldn’t say a word. I’d just watch.”
“Jamison, you’re so nice, I—”
“C’mon, Joanna, give a guy a break. I promise I won’t bother you. I won’t make a sound. I’ll just sit in the corner and read a book until you need a break.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. Maybe after the show is over and I have some free time again, we can see how we feel. By then, you may have changed your mind about me.” She laughed. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you did.”
“I won’t change my mind.”
Joanna forced herself not to say anything else.
After a long moment of silence, he finally sighed heavily. “All right. I understand. I can’t work with someone watching me, either, and I know you’re under pressure right now. This is your first big show, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is. And it’s very, very important to me.”
“Yeah. I understand that, too.”
“Thank you.”
“But I won’t change my mind, Joanna. I’m going to hold you to it. Just as soon as your show is over, I’m going to keep after you until you say yes.”
And maybe by then, she’d be able to. Maybe she would no longer hold out hope that something would change between her and Marcus.
“You’re a sweet guy,” she said.
“And you’re an amazing woman.”
Later, as Joanna was brushing her teeth in preparation for bed, she thought about her conversation with Jamison again. She wished...oh, she didn’t know what she wished. She only knew that it would be much better for her if Marcus had never kissed her and she had never kissed him back. Those kisses and the way they made her feel had complicated her life at a time when she should be thinking about fabrics and silhouettes, not a man she knew was wrong for her in every way.
* * *
Marcus couldn’t fall asleep.
Disgusted with himself, he finally got up, fixed himself a stiff drink and switched on the TV. He hadn’t watched late-night TV in years, but tonight he knew he had to do something to distract himself. And to get Joanna out of his mind.
Unfortunately for him, the first person he saw when he turned on the TV was the actress Marion Cotillard, and something about her gamine look and dark intensity reminded him so strongly of Joanna that he felt a stirring in his loins.
Oh, for crying out loud! Finishing his drink, he switched off the television set. Christ, he was a mess. He couldn’t believe he’d let a woman get under his skin like this.
It wasn’t until he was back in bed and finally drifting off to sleep that he knew what he needed to do.
And he would do it tomorrow.
* * *
At eleven o’clock Joanna texted Georgie. Are U asleep?
No, she texted back. Drinking warm milk and reading. What’s up?
I need advice. Can U call me?
Give me a minute.
Five minutes later, Joanna’s cell rang. After explaining everything to Georgie, Joanna said, “I don’t know what to do.”
“I think you already did it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, knowing you and how stubborn you are, if you really liked this Jamison guy and wanted to go out with him, you would have found some time for him.”
“Yes, but what I meant is, I don’t know what to do now.”
“About Marcus, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me something, Joanna. Are you in love with him?”
Joanna huffed out a breath. “I don’t know. I...I might be.”
“That means you probably are.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Well, then...”
“Well, then, what?”
“Oh, c’mon. The Joanna I know goes after what she wants. She doesn’t sit around waiting for something to happen. If you love Marcus and you want him, why in the world did you tell him you thought you should cool it? Why didn’t you go for the brass ring?”
“You know why, Georgie. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I mean, what if we’d had sex and then he decided he didn’t want me after all?”
; “So you were scared.”
“Well...yes.”
“Hon, we’re all scared. Falling in love is darned scary. For everybody. I mean, it’s like you’re standing on this high cliff and you have to leap. Falling in love is giving someone else control over you. It’s gambling. It’s a whole load of scary stuff. But if you don’t take the chance, if you don’t leap, you’ll never know what might have happened.”
Joanna bit her lip.
“So I think you do know what to do. The question is, are you brave enough to do it?”
* * *
“Am I doing something wrong?” Lonnie asked. Her hazel eyes were worried.
“Huh?” Joanna had been off in daydream-land somewhere. It was Tuesday morning and she and Lonnie were going over the books.
“You just seem distracted, or something. I was afraid maybe you didn’t know how to tell me I’m not doing things right.”
“Oh, Lonnie, I’m sorry. It’s not you. You’re doing great. I—I just have a lot on my mind right now.”
Lonnie gave her a long look. “Guy trouble?” she finally asked.
Joanna smiled crookedly. “Is it that obvious?”
Lonnie shrugged. “You did kind of have that glazed look in your eyes.”
“Sorry. And yes, I was thinking about a guy.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I don’t want to even be thinking about it, but I can’t seem to stop myself.”
“Yeah, I’ve been there, too.” Lonnie grimaced. “I have horrible judgment when it comes to guys.”
“That’s my problem, too. I got involved with someone I shouldn’t have and then he dumped me and now I seem to be doing the same thing.”
“What do you mean, you shouldn’t have? Was he married or something?”
“Oh, God, no,” Joanna said. “I’m not that stupid. I’d never do a thing like that.” She almost said he was someone she worked with, but stopped herself at the last moment. “Listen, I don’t want to take valuable time I need to use on your training to talk about myself and my love life...or lack thereof. It’s too boring, anyway.”
For the rest of the morning, Joanna made a determined effort to keep both Jamison Wells and Marcus Barlow out of her thoughts. It was hard, but she managed. And as a result, she and Lonnie got a lot accomplished. So she was feeling pretty good about her day and her guard was down when her cell phone rang a few minutes past noon. The display showed Barlow International as the caller. Thinking it was Judith Holmes again—she seemed to be the one to call when Marcus had a message for Joanna—she was totally unprepared to hear Marcus’s voice.
“Oh,” she said. “I—I didn’t know—” She broke off abruptly. She sounded like an idiot.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” he said.
“No, no, I’m just having lunch.”
“I won’t keep you long.”
“It’s okay.” Her heart was doing its stupid flip-flop thing again. What the heck was her problem? Couldn’t she control herself?
“The reason I’m calling is I wanted to invite you to accompany me to the Hooper Women’s Shelter Benefit Dinner Dance Friday night.”
Joanna was so stunned that for a moment she couldn’t answer. “You want me to go with you?”
“Yes. I think it would be a really great opportunity for you to meet potential clients. My mother and sister will also be going.”
His mother and sister would also be going? Joanna’s head spun.
“You can’t buy this kind of exposure,” he added.
“I—realize that. I guess I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“Surprised? Why is that?”
“B-because I... Oh, I don’t know. I... Thank you. I’d be happy to go with you.” Ohmigod. What would she wear? She’d have to whip something up, and fast.
“Good. I’ll pick you up at six-fifteen. The benefit starts at seven, but since I’m one of the sponsors, I’d like to be there early.”
“Okay.”
“That’s not a problem for you? I realize Friday’s your last day at the office.”
“It’s not a problem. The office closes at four on Fridays.”
“Good. And, Joanna?”
“Yes?”
“It’s a formal evening. And you should think about wearing one of your designs.”
Joanna almost snorted. Almost. She caught herself in time. “I was just thinking the very same thing,” she said.
“All right. I’ll see you then.”
It took a long time for her heart to settle into a normal pattern again. And an even longer time for Joanna to put the phone call out of her mind so she could concentrate on work for the rest of the day.
Chapter Twelve
The rest of the week flew by for Joanna. She spent her days training Lonnie and her nights hurriedly piecing together, ripping apart and redoing an evening dress to wear to the benefit on Friday. In between, she fielded calls from Jamison Wells—he certainly was persistent!—made to-do lists, complained to Georgie, tried not to think about Marcus and worried about how she’d ever find the time to move and/or hire an assistant.
Georgie, in true BFF fashion, offered to come and help.
“Help?” Joanna said. “How can you come and help? You’ve got a job of your own, not to mention a husband, three stepchildren and a baby on the way. Don’t be ridiculous. Good grief, Zach will kill me if you even suggest it.”
“It was Zach’s idea,” Georgie said.
“You’re kidding.” No man was that perfect.
“Nope. He thinks I need some time away from the rat race.”
“So you’re going to trade one rat race for another?” Joanna said, shaking her head.
Georgie chuckled. “It’s different when it’s someone else’s rat race. No stress, just the fun of helping.”
“Oh, Georgie, I’d love to have you, and I know your mother would be thrilled to see you, but I can’t let you do that. I’m sorry I was whining. It’s not fair to you to dump my problems on your shoulders.”
“My shoulders are pretty broad.” Georgie’s voice softened. “And you’re my best friend. Let me help. I want to.”
After that, what could Joanna say? “Well, it would be wonderful. Will you stay with me?” Where would she put Georgie? It wasn’t as if she had an extra bed. Or even one bed.
“I won’t go that far. Pregnant women need good beds. No, I’ll stay at my mom’s, but I’ll be there every day. I’m a very good sorter and packer. Exactly when are you moving?”
“I had to give thirty days’ notice here, but I’m moving as soon as I can get organized. I hoped to start this coming weekend. I have to pay rent at both places anyway, so why not have more room? Then maybe I can get someone hired to help me and things’ll be easier.”
“I can definitely help you do that,” Georgie pointed out. “I’ll make a few phone calls. We’ll find you the perfect assistant.”
After they hung up, Joanna thought how lucky she was to have Georgie as her best friend.
Joanna’s mother also offered to help, and Joanna gratefully accepted. In fact, her mother ended up coming over on Thursday night and hemming the gown Joanna would wear the following evening.
“Oh, Joanna, this is so beautiful,” her mother said as she fingered the delicate lace. “Will you put it in your show?”
“I can’t really dress anyone else in it, Mom. I don’t know a single model who’s as short as I am. But I can wear it for the show, don’t you think?”
Ann Marie smiled. “I think that would be perfect.” She held the dress up to the light. “You’ve done a wonderful job on it. I can’t believe you designed and made this in just three days.” Her voice softened. “You’re so talented, honey. And I’m so
proud of you.”
Joanna swallowed against a lump in her throat. She walked over, leaned down and hugged her mother. “I love you, Mom.”
* * *
But the tender moment didn’t last long, for a few seconds later, Ann Marie said, “Now tell me about this Marcus Barlow. Are you dating him? Or is this strictly a business thing tomorrow night?”
“I told you, Mom,” Joanna said, careful to keep her voice noncommittal, “he said the benefit would be a perfect opportunity for me to meet the kind of women I hope to have as clients.”
“Yes, I know, but are you dating him?”
Her mother’s eyes were altogether too shrewd as they studied her. Joanna knew she’d better be honest without giving away too much. The last thing she wanted was her mother worrying about her any more than she already did. “Not really. He’s taken me to dinner once or twice, but it’s pretty much been about business.” Oh, right. Those kisses were so businesslike, weren’t they?
“Hmm. Okay.” Ann Marie didn’t look convinced.
“He’s not my type. More to the point, I’m not his.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s wealthy. He comes from an old Seattle family. And he’s so conservative he makes Uncle Walt seem like a liberal.” Uncle Walt was the family’s ultraconservative member. “And you know how I am....”
“Yes, I know how you are. You’re a beautiful, talented, wonderful young woman, and any man would be lucky to get you!” her mother said loyally. “Don’t you ever start thinking you’re not good enough. You’re good enough for anyone.”
“You’re prejudiced,” Joanna said. She couldn’t help laughing at her mother’s vehemence, although she was touched. She had always known she could count on her mother, even when Ann Marie was driving her crazy. That certainty had been the mainstay of her life.
“Maybe so, but I’m only telling the truth. And if this Marcus Barlow has any taste at all, he’ll see the truth, too.”
Joanna smiled, but inside she knew that Marcus Barlow had already seen the truth, and the truth was that they made a great combination when it came to their business partnership, but personally was another story. Her mother could say she was good enough for anyone, but Joanna knew she would never fit into Marcus’s life. She would be miserable pretending to be something she wasn’t, and eventually he would be miserable, too.