by Patricia Kay
“Well, well, Marcus,” he said, “where have you been keeping her hidden?”
“Behave yourself, Tad,” Marcus said.
Tad directed his next remark to Joanna. “My brother is the staid, conservative one in our family. The women he normally dates never look the way you do.” He smiled. “You’re more my kind of woman.”
“Don’t pay any attention to him,” Vanessa said. “He likes to shock people.” Turning to him again, she said, “Joanna is an extremely talented fashion designer. She and I are going to be showing our designs at Marcus’s gallery later this month.”
“I’ll have to be sure to come,” Tad said.
“Would you like something to drink, Joanna?” Marcus said. He ignored his brother.
“I’d love a glass of wine.”
He squeezed her waist. “I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t hurry,” Tad said. “I’ll keep her occupied.” Moving to her side, he put his arm around her.
Joanna didn’t want to be rude, because after all, Tad was Marcus’s brother, but she didn’t like him. Deciding his bad manners didn’t deserve a reward, she pointedly removed his arm and distanced herself.
“What’s wrong?” Tad said. “Worried about what old Marcus will think? He’s a cold fish. Haven’t you noticed?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Tad,” Vanessa said. “Grow up! Or if that’s impossible, go find yourself another juvie to play with.”
Just in time to hear the last of what his sister had said, Marcus returned with two glasses of wine and handed Joanna one. “Tad never learned how to act in company,” he said.
Joanna wondered what her parents would think about the Barlows and their relationships. If she hadn’t thought so before, she definitely knew it now—she had a wonderful family. They might not have the Barlows’ money and social position, but they had something infinitely more valuable. They loved and respected one another.
No wonder Marcus was so uptight.
She felt sorry for him.
The last of her insecurities disappeared. She had no reason at all to feel inferior to him or to his family. And she certainly didn’t need to change to be accepted by them.
If Marcus wanted her, he would have to take her as is.
Chapter Fifteen
Joanna’s family always made a big deal out of Thanksgiving. Ann Marie said it was her favorite holiday because no one had to buy gifts or feel obligated to do anything but enjoy the day. Joanna loved the holiday herself. Turkey and her mom’s old-fashioned bread dressing were her favorite food in all the world. She didn’t even mind the way the men all collapsed in the living room after dinner to watch football while leaving the women to do all the cleanup.
When she discovered that Marcus and Vanessa would be alone for Thanksgiving, she was appalled. “But where will your mother and brother be?”
“My mother and Walker are going to France. She wants to introduce him to her family, most of whom still live in the Burgundy Valley. And Tad is going to New York to stay with his college roommate.”
“But that’s terrible! You can’t be alone.”
“It’ll be fine, Joanna. It’s not like it’s the first holiday we’ve been on our own.”
But Joanna couldn’t imagine anything worse than Marcus and his sister rattling around that huge house alone. “You’re coming with me to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Both you and Vanessa.”
“I don’t think—”
“I won’t take no for an answer,” she said, interrupting. “We eat about three, but everyone comes early so we can visit. It’s very casual dress. My brothers will all be in jeans.”
Marcus said he and Vanessa would swing by and pick Joanna up at one o’clock.
Thanksgiving day dawned cold and rainy. Joanna spent the morning working on a color-blocked shift dress that was the last piece of her youth collection. Then she took a quick shower and dressed warmly in her black boots, black jeans and a black-and-white cable-knit sweater. Her contribution to dinner, a green-apple pie, was already in its carrier. Making sure Tabitha had fresh water and enough food to last her all day, Joanna made her way downstairs and waited for Marcus just inside the door. He pulled up outside a few minutes later.
Vanessa had been sitting in front but got out to give Joanna that seat and climbed in the back. Soon they were on their way.
“It’s so nice of you to have us today,” Vanessa said. “I’m looking forward to meeting your family.”
Joanna noticed Marcus didn’t echo his sister’s sentiments. She wondered what he was thinking. Was he as uneasy about meeting her family as she’d been about his? Well, it had to happen sooner or later, especially if they were to continue their relationship, and he’d given no indication otherwise. At the very least, today promised to be interesting.
Two other cars were in the driveway when they arrived, but there was room for Marcus’s, and Joanna told him to park there. She wondered what her brothers and father would think when they saw the Ferrari.
Wonderful smells and boisterous laughter greeted them when they walked in the front door, followed by warm smiles from Joanna’s parents, who had walked into the entryway. “I’m so glad to finally meet you!” Ann Marie declared.
“Thank you for having us,” Marcus said. “This is my sister, Vanessa.”
“Such a beauty,” Ann Marie said. “Joanna told me you’re going to model one of her designs on Saturday.”
Vanessa smiled. “Yes, I’m really looking forward to that.”
“Oh, we are, too. We can’t wait for the show,” Ann Marie said. “Can we, Tony?”
Joanna’s father looked at Marcus. “Don’t mind her. She’s wound up. She always talks too much when she gets wound up.” He shook Marcus’s hand and winked at Vanessa.
“Oh, Tony,” Ann Marie said.
“Come on, Marcus, Vanessa. Let me introduce you to my brothers,” Joanna said. Leading him into the living room, she saw that Tony and Sharon weren’t there yet, nor were Michael and his wife, Leslie. Joey and his fiancée, Beth, sat on the sofa, and Billy stood nearby. Joanna made the introductions and was amused to see that Billy, normally voluble, seemed dumbstruck as he stared at Vanessa.
She did look gorgeous today, Joanna thought, in her figure-hugging jeans, high brown boots and a blue sweater the exact shade of her eyes. Her wonderful hair fell in shining waves and she looked healthy and young and sexy all at the same time.
Joey, at least, managed to talk to Marcus semi-intelligently, although quickly enough, the conversation turned to football. Joanna rolled her eyes. “Billy, why don’t you get drinks for Vanessa and Marcus? I’m going out to the kitchen to see if Mom needs any help.” Marcus was a big boy. He didn’t need her there to run interference.
Beth followed her to the kitchen. “Thanks for rescuing me,” she said. “I’m so sick of football.”
Joanna laughed. “Join the club.”
Ann Marie said she didn’t need help yet, that everything was under control. “Your father helped me earlier.”
“Really? Is the sky falling?” Joanna said.
“Now, Joanna, be fair. Your father helps out a lot.”
“In what universe?” Joanna looked at Beth. “Hope you know what you’re getting into in this family, Beth.”
Beth smiled. “I’m Irish, remember? My family is just as bad, if not worse.”
“I like your Marcus,” Ann Marie said. She had just finished putting the last deviled egg on a serving dish and handed it to Joanna. “Here. You can put this on the coffee table.”
“He’s not my Marcus,” Joanna said. She took the plate.
“I haven’t known you to bring a man to Thanksgiving dinner before,” her mother retaliated.
“I felt sorry for them. They were going to be alone.”
&n
bsp; “Have it your way. But I do like him.”
I like him, too. Joanna walked into the living room, where she saw that Tony and Sharon were now being introduced, followed by Michael and a very pregnant Leslie, who was due to give the Spinellis their first grandchild on Christmas Eve.
Marcus’s gaze met hers. His expression gave nothing away, and maybe that troubled her more than anything else. She guessed this was the way he looked when he was negotiating a deal. It was a poker face, the kind of mask you adopt when you don’t want anyone to know what you’re thinking.
Joanna hugged Leslie and Sharon, greeted her brothers, and then turned to Marcus. “Are they taking care of you in here?”
“Of course we are!” Joey said. “He’s tried the sausage balls and the shrimp, and I fixed him a drink. What more could he want?”
“Good.” Joanna smiled at Marcus. He returned the smile, but it seemed forced. He was uncomfortable, and couldn’t entirely hide it. She looked around. “Where’s Vanessa?”
“Billy wanted to show her his bike,” Joey said.
Oh, no. Joanna could just imagine what Marcus had thought of that. Billy’s bike was his baby. He’d bought the Honda NC700X used last June and loved to show it off.
“They were taking off for a ride when we drove up,” Mike said.
“But it’s raining,” Joanna said. She couldn’t even look at Marcus, afraid of what she’d see. Damn Billy. She’d like to choke him.
“The rain stopped,” Sharon said. She gave Joanna a sympathetic look.
But the streets would be slippery. And Joanna knew without being told that Marcus didn’t approve. She just hoped Billy didn’t try to show off, that he drove safely, that he’d made Vanessa wear a helmet and that they came back soon. And the moment she could get him in a private corner, she’d give him a piece of her mind.
“I warned him to be careful,” Joanna’s father said.
Joanna moved to Marcus’s side. “You doing okay?” she said softly.
“I’m fine.”
He was so far from fine. She knew he was upset, and honestly, she didn’t blame him. It had been totally clueless of Billy to take Vanessa out on the bike. Couldn’t he have seen that Marcus didn’t want her to go?
It seemed like hours before Billy and Vanessa returned, but it was only about twenty minutes. They walked in laughing, bringing good spirits and cold air with them.
“Oh, that was so fun!” Vanessa said. “You’d love it, Marcus, the way you love speed.”
“Yeah, that car of yours is cool,” Billy said. He grinned at Vanessa. “Does he let you drive it?”
“Are you kidding? He won’t even let me breathe on it.”
Throughout this exchange, Marcus remained stone-faced. If looks could kill, Joanna thought, her heart sinking. It had been a mistake to invite Marcus and Vanessa today. Why couldn’t she have waited? They would have met her family at the show on Saturday, and that would have been an easier first time for all of them. She glanced at her watch. It was only two o’clock. Why was the day dragging so much?
Finally it was time for dinner. The dining room table could comfortably seat eight, but somehow Ann Marie had managed to squeeze twelve chairs in. Normally Joanna loved lots of people around, but today was not a normal day.
Throughout dinner, as her noisy family did all their noisy, Spinelli-like things, Joanna could see the way Marcus was judging them and finding them wanting. When Billy, by mistake, took the spoon out of the bowl of mashed potatoes and licked it, then said, “Oops,” and put it back in the serving bowl, she wanted to crawl under the table. Everyone else laughed, and her mother said, “A few germs won’t kill us,” but Joanna saw the look on Marcus’s face. Oh, God. And it didn’t help that Vanessa, who Billy had made sure was sitting next to him, laughed along with everyone else.
When dinner was over, she knew Marcus could hardly wait to leave. But he’d been brought up to be polite, no matter what, and polite he was. He listened to her father, he discussed the college football scores, he declined another drink saying he was the designated driver and he managed to keep from glancing at his watch too often. But at six o’clock, he stood. “I need to be going. I’m sorry, Joanna, but I’ve got a full day tomorrow.”
She nodded. “It’s fine. I do, too.” She could hardly believe it was only two days until the show. But even if it hadn’t been, she was just as anxious to get out of there as he was. The day had been a disaster.
But it wasn’t over yet. Because Vanessa then said, “Billy’s going to take me home, Marcus. So you can stay as long as you like at Joanna’s.”
Joanna knew Marcus wanted to say something, but what could he say? It wasn’t as if Vanessa was a kid. She was going to be twenty-one in January, old enough to make her own decisions, as she’d pointed out to him more than once.
“We’re thinking of catching the late movie at the Landmark,” Billy said, “so she’ll be home late.”
The only thing Marcus said was “You’re not going on that bike, are you?”
“Nah,” Billy said, “we’re taking my truck.”
As they walked out the door—Joanna with leftovers her mother insisted she take—Joanna didn’t have to wonder anymore what Marcus was thinking. She knew. And what he was thinking didn’t bode well for their future.
* * *
Marcus wanted nothing more than to be alone. Yet here was Joanna, sitting beside him, and he knew he had to at least make an attempt to act as if nothing was wrong.
Could the day have been any worse?
Could her family have been any worse?
Sure, her parents were nice people, and they’d tried to make him feel welcome, and her brothers were okay. Well, all except Billy, who was obviously spoiled rotten and had no manners to speak of. He also didn’t have good sense. Marcus had wanted to kill Vanessa for the way she’d acted around Billy. Bad enough he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, but she’d actually encouraged him. Billy Spinelli was not the kind of man Marcus wanted for Vanessa. Marcus wasn’t even sure what Billy did for a living. When he’d asked, Billy had blithely said he’d just started a new job and wasn’t sure if he liked it yet. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out,” he’d added, laughing as if it was a big joke.
Christ, the kid reminded Marcus of Tad, although Marcus didn’t think Billy had a drug problem. Damn. He guessed he’d have to put his foot down with Vanessa, let her know in no uncertain terms that this thing with Billy could not continue.
Why had he let Joanna talk him into going to her family’s house today? He’d known it wasn’t a good idea, but he’d gone anyway.
“Marcus, are you going to give me the silent treatment all the way home?”
Marcus started. He’d almost forgotten Joanna was in the car with him. “Sorry. I’m tired and I’m afraid I ate too much.”
“Then maybe you should just drop me off. I’m tired, too, and as you pointed out, we both have big days tomorrow.”
Marcus knew he should contradict her, but he couldn’t face more hours of trying to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. He needed to be alone. He needed to think.
So when they arrived at her place, he got out and made sure she was safely inside, gave her a quick kiss good-night and said he’d call her in the morning.
As he drove home, he faced an inescapable truth. All along he’d been thinking in terms of changing Joanna to fit into his world, but today he’d finally realized how much he would have to change, too, if he wanted her as part of his life. Could he? He found her family intimidating with their boisterous behavior and the way they advertised their emotions so openly. He wasn’t sure he could ever be comfortable around them.
He knew he wasn’t going to come up with a magical answer. Not tonight, anyway. He only hoped that by tomorrow his head would be clearer. Because he could not go on lik
e this.
* * *
Joanna felt sick at heart. Today had shown her so clearly that she would never be able to live up to Marcus’s standards. Eventually he would realize this, too—if he hadn’t already—and then he would dump her. But even as she told herself this, there was still a tiny spark of hope that she was wrong.
She decided to test him. So when he called her at ten the next morning, she said she thought they needed to talk. He agreed and said he’d stop by at five. She sent Nim and Tanya home at four so she and Marcus could have privacy. All the work for the day was finished, anyway. And both women would be coming in early tomorrow to help her transport everything to the gallery for the show, which would begin at five.
When Marcus arrived, Joanna was ready. Nervous, but ready.
“I’ve been thinking,” she said when they were settled upstairs in her living room, him on the sofa, her in her favorite rocking chair opposite him.
His gaze met hers. “I have, too.”
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I think, once the show is over, we need to take a break from each other.”
His gaze never wavered. The moment stretched. It was so quiet in the room she could hear Tabitha eating in the kitchen. He nodded, almost imperceptibly. “I agree.”
Joanna’s heart sank. If he’d said no, he didn’t agree with her, she would have known he loved her no matter what, and that he was willing to try, perhaps even to change. But he didn’t say no. Which meant that he, too, believed they’d never make it together.
He left soon after, but not before gathering her into his arms and kissing her softly. It was all she could do not to cling to him, not to say she hadn’t meant it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, releasing her.
“Yes.”
At least the tears didn’t come until after he’d walked out the door. And then they came like a cloudburst. She cried all evening and far into the night. Why had she ever allowed herself to fall in love with him? It was utterly hopeless and always had been. Down deep, she’d known that, but she’d gone and done it anyway. She was a stupid fool. Despite all the odds against her, she had gambled, and she had lost.