again” she said.
Jake dropped his head and somberly agreed with her.
“We can"t continue putting band aids on this and hope that
somehow by a miracle this will all pass and everything will be
ok” she continued.
The old Kim from six months ago would have thought exactly
that. She would have thought that everything would just
magically turn out ok. The new Kim had seen too much. She had
talked to Anisha too much and seen what was going on at Halsted.
Many of these girls and women had thought that everything would
turn out ok at one point and then after years they had lost hope
and just accepted their lifestyle. Kim was not going to do that.
“I can"t keep living in uncertainty. I love you and I want
to be with you. But we can"t go back to our old lives. I will be
returned to my mom and then you will go to prison for a long
time. Even if you didn"t hit that guy you"d be arrested for
kidnapping. You can move about freely but as soon as I am found they will link me to you and we are in trouble” she summed up
the situation they were in.
Jake listened intently and nodded in agreement.
“When I am eighteen we can pick things up again. Then we
can be together without risking you going to jail. I will just
say I ran away from home and roamed the streets and deny any
involvement with you. We got back together after I turned
eighteen” she continued.
“That could work” Jake agreed, “but what do we do in the
meanwhile.”
She swallowed and said “I will continue to work at Halsted.
We need money. You will continue to try and find a job.
Meanwhile we save the money I make. We don"t need that much and
could easily save a few thousand a week. When I turn eighteen we
buy a place and get out of here. Then I will get a normal job
and my GED and we are going to lead a normal life. No more
hooking, hustling or running.”
“But that"s half a year away” he said, “Are you sure you
want to do that?”
She nodded and said “It"s the only way. If we continue the
way we are going now we will be in this situation for a lot
longer than half a year. I don"t like this either but this way there is an end. I can"t do it if I don"t know when this is all
going to end.”
Jake looked at her in surprise. Was this the same insecure
girl he had met not six months ago? He agreed and hugged her.
“Together we can get through this” he told her.
He grabbed his coat and took out the gun she had first seen
when he had saved her in the ally.
“I want you to have this” he said.
She backed away from it as if it was going to bite her.
“For protection” he added, “If you are going to do this I
don"t want anything to happen to you.”
“I can"t take that with me” she said as she took it in her
hands and it looked huge in her small hands.
“Tomorrow we will get you something more suitable” he said.
She nodded and the next day they spoke to Travis and he
could help them out. He made a phone call and thirty minutes
later a big black Cadillac stopped on Halsted. The driver was a
huge man that had trouble getting out from behind the wheel
despite the size of the car. He opened the trunk for Jake and
inside was a variety of weapons; anything from a nightstick to
an AK-47 assault rifle. Jake looked through it and found a small 22 caliber handgun. He showed it to Kim and she nodded in
agreement. It was a lot better than that cannon that Jake had
offered her and it looked a lot better than anything she saw in
the trunk. She was just in awe of how easy this seemed to be and
more and more she wondered about what she had gotten herself
into and more and more she was determined to get her and Jake
out of this sick and twisted world. Jake pointed at something
else in the trunk. The big man pulled out a small can. It was
mace he explained. Easy to carry around and will stop a man dead
in his tracks. Jake looked at it and nodded.
“How much for both?” he asked.
“Two fifty” the man said.
Jake paid him and the man gave her a quick explanation of
how they worked and she put them in her bag that she carried
when at work. Anisha had helped her get it organized giving tips
on the essentials to bring. It was still too early and there was
barely any traffic so they headed back home. She sat down on the
couch with a blank expression. He sat down next to her and put
his arm around her.
“Everything will be ok” he said, “Before you know it we
will be out of here. Then we can start over and have a real
life.” She liked that thought and settled into his chest. That
thought was what was going to get her through this she told
herself. In her mind she already started to count the days. It
would be so wonderful. They would have a nice house in a
respectable neighborhood and she would do her best to forget
this part of her life. They would be setup well after half a
year. They could save a lot and she wouldn"t have to live like
this anymore. She would even be able to avoid having to live
like her mom had the last several years. She admired her mom for
doing what she did. Six months ago she had thought she
understood it but not accepted it and had resented her mom for
not being around very much. Now she knew that her mom had done
what she did to prevent her daughters from ending up in this
world. Her mom had worked so hard to prevent that and now she
was here after all. She had blown it she thought. She felt like
she had lost everything, everything except Jake. Sure things
hadn"t gone as planned but she was determined to make it work.
After sitting in silence nestled in his arms she noticed it
was time to get ready. She got up and went into the bedroom to
get changed. She had stuck with the teenage cheerleader type
look. Partly because it did seem to work but mostly because she
shuddered at the thought of looking like a spandex covered neon
sign like most of the girls. She opened her bag to make sure she had enough of everything and saw the gun and the mace. She just
couldn"t get used to the gun. She took it out with two fingers
and held it away from her like it was a soiled diaper. Then she
looked around. One of the molding boards was loose and she
pulled at it a little. It came loose further and revealed a hole
in the wall behind it. She hid the gun in the hole and covered
it up again with the molding. She kept the mace in her bag. That
could come in useful she thought. Then she left for work.
Jake dropped her off even though it wasn"t that far. Then
he left to go find work. He returned around midnight and
collected her earnings from Travis and they went home. As time
went on he showed up later and later. After a while Jake usually
didn"t show up until after two am; after two weeks she usually
only saw Jake when he stopped by at the end of the night to
collect her on Halsted but not before he collected her earnings<
br />
from Travis.
She suspected he had stopped looking for work even though
he insisted he hadn"t and he had gone back to his old ways of
hustling deals. She was staying true to a plan and had made a
calendar book in which she marked the days until her eighteenth
birthday. She had stuck to her principles and had not given in
on anything. No sex without condoms and no drugs, except for
some pot every now and then with Anisha on the steps, and nothing crazy or weird. She still despised it but with a goal in
view she was confident that she could do it. Anisha had followed
her lead. She also had discarded the drugs and stopped doing
tricks without condoms. Together they kept each other going.
As the time passed Jake wasn"t around very much. One, maybe
two days a week at the most and when he was around things were
distant. He seemed preoccupied. They also didn"t have sex very
much anymore, which she contributed to her work. Winter was on
its way and soon it would be time they could start over. Anisha
had been right. There was no getting used to the work but it
became easier over time. She despised it and with great pleasure
she marked off another day from the calendar at the end of each
day. Once she turned eighteen things would change and Jake and
she would be together. Once she stopped working they could have
a normal relationship again. She sometimes had some doubts but
then she forced those away. She needed to be sure everything was
going to work out to keep going.
The customers were still creeps and she despised them.
Overall things went pretty smooth. Every now and then a John
would try something or give her a hard time about paying but a
swift dose of mace and the empty threat to call the police
usually resolved everything fast. By December she had had to get
new mace canisters twice. Travis had been very good at his part of the bargain and she had avoided every single police sting. It
had gotten cold and she worked less. Jake had complained about
the low earnings at one point and she nearly bit his head off.
His charm was fading and he knew it. He needed to watch his
step and she was not putting up with anything. At times she
would inquire about how much they had saved with Jake but this
usually resulted in him claiming not to have checked the balance
on the account he had deposited the money into. „Bad luck" he
had called it. She had thought of that as an odd response but it
also put Jake in an irritated mood and she wanted to avoid that.
He could have a nasty temper and she did not like being on the
receiving end of that. He hadn"t gotten physical with her but
was not convinced that if pushed he wouldn"t and was not
planning on finding out.
Their relationship seemed to have changed. Was it still
love or more need that she felt? After all he was all she had
left. That made things hard to put into perspective and she
figured it would all change in a few months when she would turn
eighteen. Surely they had saved quite a bit by then. Would it be
enough to buy a nice little house out in the country away from the city and this life?
Chapter 15:
Two long short months to go she thought. As time got closer
she got in a better mood. Jake was still busy and she only saw
him a few days a week at the most. Often he seemed more
concerned about picking up the money she had made than about
her. Soon it would all be over. Once we get out of here things
will be better but as time went on she wondered. Lately she
found more support with Anisha than with Jake. They hung out
together a lot both at work and outside of work. They also kept
an eye out for each other, especially on Halsted that could
never hurt. If one of them would stay away too long after they
would get picked up the other would go check at the normal spot
behind the abandoned building. It hadn"t been necessary but it
was a comforting thought that someone was looking out for her.
Every day she would announce to Anisha how many more days
until she was done. The weather was cold but mild for the time
of year and business had been decent. She was enjoying the lull
of the winter but longed for the nice weather. She could not
wait to be done. “Let"s spend Christmas together” she had asked Jake.
He reluctantly agreed. Over Christmas he actually warmed up
and for a bit she saw why she loved him. Just two more months
she told him. He smiled awkwardly. She thought he just wanted
her to be done. No more strange men just him and her.
Then he turned to her “Let"s go and look for houses” he
said, “We can find a place to live.”
She agreed happily and remembered why she was doing it
again. After Christmas he had to leave again but a big snowstorm
prevented that. She didn"t go to work and they stayed in
together. After the snowstorm died down she dragged him to a
store to get a paper. She opened the paper and found the house
listings. They looked through them together and circled as few
of the cheaper homes. They avoided the ones too close to the
city or ones in bad neighborhoods. The remaining ones were
starter homes. They started at about one hundred and fifty
thousand. We don"t have enough he had said, not nearly enough.
They would need a mortgage for which they needed a steady
income. Then she turned the paper to the help wanted section and
started circling things there. If we get jobs we can get a loan
for the rest she said. They spent the day applying for jobs for
him. He was reluctant, he would rather apply face to face he said. She looked at him and told him that had not done much good
for them so far. He solemnly agreed as she insisted on helping
him. She wanted things ready when she turned eighteen and not a
day later. They went to some viewings of homes for sale during
the day and she worked a few hours each night. Rejections from
job applications started coming in and he got de-motivated but
she was not going to let anything else get in the way of their
dream, so she kept pushing him.
Time passed and they were a week away from her birthday.
Jake had been around a lot more and things were returning to
normal.
She worked less and that night as she got ready for work he
hugged her and said “Why don"t you stop. What"s another week
going to matter” she turned around and kissed him.
He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
“I thought I was done” she joked.
The next morning he had made breakfast in bed for her and
announced that they were going to look at another house. After
breakfast they showered and got dressed, then they left for the
house. The house was an hour drive from the city in a small
village. It was a tiny white house with a tree in the front
yard. It looked wonderful covered in snow. The real estate agent was waiting for them and let them in. It was a small eight
hundred square foot house with two bedrooms upstairs and an
unfinished basement. It wasn"t much for s
ize but it made up for
that in character. The place was older but in good shape and the
whole house had beautiful hardwood floors. For a moment she
paused and allowed herself to think that her new life had
finally begun. She loved the house.
“Let"s get it” she whispered to Jake out of earshot of the
real estate agent.
“We can"t afford it” he said.
She gave him a disappointed look.
“I"ll negotiate a little” he said, “Maybe we can make it
work.”
The whole drive home she was dreaming of the cute little
white house. It would be perfect. Somehow they would have to
make it work. When they got home there was a letter in the mail
from one of the companies that they had sent an application to.
“Another rejection” Jake guessed.
She picked it up and opened it.
“They want you to come over for an interview” she screamed. He was expected for an interview for a warehouse position
next week on her birthday. This had to be a sign. Her face lit
up. Things were finally starting to look up. Finally everything
could come together. On her birthday she got up early and made
him breakfast. He protested when she brought it to him in bed.
“It"s your birthday, shouldn"t I be getting you breakfast
in bed?” he asked.
She smiled.
“Eat up” she said, “You have an interview in two hours”.
They ate breakfast and he took a shower. She laid out some
clothes for the interview and kissed him goodbye. Then she paced
around the living room impatiently. At noon she put her coat on
and sat outside on the steps. Anisha joined her a few minutes
later.
“Happy birthday girl” she said cheerfully.
She told Anisha that Jake was on an interview and if he
would get the job they would finally be done with this all.
Anisha smiled as she pulled out a pocket book. She opened it up
and showed the calendar part to Kim. All past days were crossed
out and November fifteenth was clearly marked with a pink
highlighter. That was Anisha"s birthday. “Wow, you are really looking forward to your birthday” Kim
said.
Anisha nodded with a smile.
“This is my planned retirement date from here” she said, “I
thought if Kim can do it then so can I.”
Kim smiled and hugged her friend.
“Good for you” she said to Anisha.
The Loverboy Page 12