by J. N. Baker
“How could you possibly know that?” I snapped, my eyes locking onto hers.
Cindy shrugged. “Because I would.”
And that right there was why I had tolerated Cindy for the past five years. While she was often infuriating, and needy, and high maintenance, and annoying, and overly flirtatious—deep down, the woman had a damn heart of gold. At the end of the day, I always knew she had my back, even if she was criticizing me while she had it.
“Don’t you get it, Zoe?” she continued. “We’re friends, like, that’s what friends do. We forgive each other for doing stupid shit. Josh knows you’ve got some crazy stuff going on right now, probably better than I do. Trust me, he’ll get over this. That man could never stay mad at you.”
It was the pep talk I didn’t know I needed. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. “Thank you,” I whispered into her tangled auburn locks.
“So,” she said, pulling away and clapping once. “Which of these hot guys gets to be mine? Because, like, Cody is already pretending that he didn’t kiss me as we were plummeting to our deaths.”
And with that, sentimental Cindy was gone. I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Remind me to introduce you to Markus later.”
Cindy’s eyes lit up. “Oh, Markus—he sounds hot.”
Before I could get a witty retort out about how someone could possibly “sound” hot, someone screamed my name from the hallway. Did Alec broadcast to the whole damn castle which room was mine the second he left? Was there a map somewhere I didn’t know about? I stood from the bed and took a step toward the door but before I could get to it, it swung open with great force, slamming into the stone wall behind it.
“You bitch!”
Tiffany came storming across the room at me. I watched her hand fly toward me in slow motion. I could have dodged it, I even considered moving. But I didn’t. I deserved whatever I got. The contact against my cheek stung more than I was expecting, but not nearly as much as it would have if I were still human.
I straightened and stared down my nose at her. She took a small step backward but I heard a growl escape her pouty lips. Someone was getting brave—or stupid.
Jade was already at her side, pulling her away from me. I honestly wasn’t sure who Jade was trying to protect: me or Tiffany.
“How could you?” Tiffany screamed. “He trusted you! You…you monster!”
Finally, someone saw me for what I was. It was about damn time.
Jade rolled her eyes, dragging Tiffany out of my room by her hair. “Come on, Barbie, let’s get you back to your precious Ken.”
Tiffany glowered at me the whole way out of the room, too angry to even notice Jade’s slight. She wasn’t going to let this go, and I wasn’t sure she should. I could have killed him. I could have killed my best friend, the one person in this whole godforsaken world that I was determined to protect.
It’ll be okay, Zoe. Josh is fine.
I didn’t need to see her to know she was there. Annie popped her head into my room, flashing me a weak smile.
I turned back to Cindy, whose jaw was still firmly stuck to the floor. “Cindy, why don’t you go ask around for Markus—see if he needs any help.”
“Okay!” Cindy beamed, practically skipping out of the room and down the hall.
“Do you think that’s such a great idea?” Annie asked, flashing me a mildly horrified look as she stepped into my room.
“Don’t worry about it,” I assured her. “It won’t be Cindy who needs protecting.”
Annie’s eyes grew another size. She apparently didn’t know Cindy very well. She shook away the thought and made a small circle around the room, taking in the large bed, the roaring fireplace, the deep colors and lit candles. It was clear that something was bothering her. Her hand lingered on the foot of the bed, her eyes growing distant as she worried her bottom lip.
“You know,” I started, “you don’t have to stay in William’s bedroom.”
Her eyes shot to mine and she quickly blinked away the tears that were starting to form. Bingo.
“Why don’t you stay with me,” I suggested. “At least, for a while, until you decide on your own what you want to do.”
“But, Alec…” she sputtered.
I lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “He wishes.”
Annie lunged at me, squeezing me so tightly that I thought I might pop. “Thank you, Zoe. Thank you so much.”
I patted her on her back before prying her off. “Yeah, don’t mention it.”
She clasped her hands behind her back, blushing furiously. God, she looked so innocent, so human. “I meant what I said before,” she started, rocking back and forth on her bare feet. “Josh is fine. He’s even awake now if you wanted to go see him.”
I turned away from her, holding onto one of the bedposts for stability. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. At least, not yet.”
“If you want, I can try to make him think it never happened,” she offered, coming around to sit on the bed.
I stared down at her, my jaw dropping slightly. “You can do that?”
“I think so. I mean, I haven’t tried it yet. William told me I could plant thoughts in people’s heads and make them believe they’re their own. Josh would think the entire thing was a dream, albeit a bad dream, but still just a dream.”
I couldn’t lie, I seriously considered taking her up on her offer. Not that I was a hundred percent confident in her ability to pull it off. “No,” I finally said, shaking my head. “I won’t do that to him. He has every right to know what happened. I could never live with myself if I took that away from him. He deserves to know the truth, to know the monster I’ve become.”
“You’re far from a monster, Zoe,” she said in all earnestness. “None of us are. Do you really think God would create a monster to do His work?”
“How many people have you killed, Annie?”
She bit the corner of her lip, dropping her eyes to the floor.
“That’s what I thought. Get back to me when you’ve stolen your first life. Don’t worry, it’ll come soon enough,” I assured her. “Then you’ll know what it’s like. You’ll be no better than the rest of us. You haven’t seen the things I’ve done, the people I’ve killed. People I didn’t even know. All without so much as a second thought. If that isn’t a cold-blooded killer, then I don’t know what is.”
“What happened to you back there?” she whispered, not so subtly changing the subject.
I shook my head. “I have no idea.”
She watched me for a few minutes, her eyes searching my face. Part of me wished she could read people’s thoughts rather than just planting her own. Maybe then she could search the dark corners of my mind to find out what had happened to me.
“Like I said, when I passed the medical chamber, Josh was awake.” She stood, gliding back across the room, pausing in the stone doorway. “I really think you should go check on him. Josh doesn’t strike me as someone who would hold a grudge. He loves you, Zoe.”
“What?”
The door clicked shut in response and she was gone.
Alone at last, I reached into my back pocket and retrieved the worn photo of Josh, Cody, and me, running my fingers over it. I tucked the photograph under the corner of my mattress for safekeeping and lay back on the bed, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes until I saw stars.
Maybe Annie and Cindy were right. Maybe Josh could forgive me. But could I ever forgive myself?
I let a good two hours pass before I made my way back down to the courtyard and up the other set of spiral stairs, heading toward the medical chamber. I was moving so slow that I could’ve been walking backward.
When I reached the open door, I heard a voice coming from inside. Tiffany. I pressed my back against the stone wall just outside the room. It wasn’t eavesdropping. I was just checking to make sure she wasn’t killing him. Right. It made complete sense. That Tiffany, she couldn’t be trusted. A pesky voice in the back of my head pointed o
ut that she wasn’t the one who had nearly killed him.
“We have no reason to be here, Josh. I don’t want to follow these freaks anymore. Look at you—she could have killed you!” For how furious she sounded, she managed to keep her voice remarkably calm. As my hands balled into fists at my side, it was clear that she had more restraint than I did.
“Tiff, I’m fine. Everything is fine. It was nothing,” Josh insisted. He sounded a lot like I did when he found me in that asshole, Dr. Hayes’s, care. God, that seemed like so long ago now. Fucking bloodsucker, I hoped he drowned in the tsunami.
“It was not nothing,” she hissed. “And you might be fine this time, but what about next time? Because there will be a next time, Josh. That’s what these people do, it’s what they are—killers.”
“I understand that you’re upset, but I’m not leaving. Not now at least. They need all the help they can get. Besides, Cody and Zoe have been my friends since I was a kid. They’re like family to me. Hell, they’re probably the only family I’ve got now. I’m not leaving them over something like this. It was an accident, Tiffany, that’s all. I know Zo, she would never hurt me intentionally.”
“Right,” she scoffed. “Intentional or not, here you are in a straw-stuffed hospital bed. Look, babe, I know it’s hard, but it’s time to let them go. Your place—your home—is right here with me. I’m your family now, not them. We can leave this place, restart our lives together, away from all this madness. We can start a family if you want.” She sounded desperate, bordering on begging.
“Tiff, I can’t…”
“Yes, you can. There’s nothing here for us but more pain and death. If I mean anything to you, then you’ll leave with me before something else happens, something worse. Don’t I mean anything to you at all?”
“Of course, you mean something to me. The world.”
Did I hear hesitation in his voice? I was reading too much into nothing. He meant every damn word. I silently banged my head against the cold stone wall behind me, wishing I could hit it hard enough to knock their entire conversation from my mind.
And then silence fell over the room. I couldn’t push away my growing curiosity, forgetting that curiosity often killed the cat. I crept forward, poking my head through the archway just in time to see Tiffany climb onto the bed beside Josh and press her lips to his. Her hands snaked up his chest and to his face as she deepened the kiss. My stomach churned when his hands lifted from the mattress to wrap around her narrow waist. I practically threw myself back into the hallway. What the hell was I doing?
“I hold your heart, Josh,” Tiffany said, her words coming out as a mumble, her lips no doubt still pressed against his. “Not her.”
“Tiff,” Josh whispered, his voice coming clearer, as if she’d finally pulled away from him. “Please don’t make me choose.”
“We are meant for one another, Josh. I love you with all my heart and I will do whatever it takes to protect that love—to protect you. We are leaving first thing tomorrow. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Do you even realize what you are asking me to do? You can’t just expect me to choose between the people I care about. This isn’t right. Besides, where would we even go? These people can protect us. We’ll be safe with them.”
“I can protect you,” she shouted and her voice rose a full octave. “And safe? Does this look safe to you, Josh? That monster almost killed you. Look, I’m not going to keep arguing with you about it. I love you and if you love me then you’ll come with me. Who’s it going to be: me or them?”
Someone cleared their throat from the far side of the medical chamber, and I chanced another look. Heavy leather boots moved across the room as William stepped out from the chamber’s second entrance. I slunk back to my wall before he could see me.
“William.” Josh sounded surprised.
“Leave us,” William’s strong voice ordered and I heard Tiffany’s feet scurrying toward the door on my side of the room. She was in such a hurry to get out of there that she didn’t notice me still standing plastered to the wall.
“How long have you been standing there?” Josh asked.
“Long enough.”
A heavy silence hung between them and I had to fight the urge to peek into the room once more. My morbid curiosity had caused me enough suffering for one day. Not that I expected to see Josh and William in the same tangled embrace.
“Maybe you should leave,” William finally said, breaking the silence.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your woman’s suggestion,” he started. “It might be best for everyone if you left.”
“I’m not fucking going anywhere,” Josh snapped, his voice sharp. “This is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m not leaving Zoe, not now and not ever. I lost her once when you took her from me. I won’t lose her again.”
“Then you are a bigger fool than I could have ever imagined. You will indeed leave her. You are human. If you are here when this war comes, you will surely die and Zoe will remain as she is forever. Do not pretend otherwise. This is the reality. If you care about her as you say you do, Josh, then you will leave. Go with the blonde. You will both be safer that way. I will even secure a safe location for you both where no harm will befall you. Perhaps when the war is over you can return. But, for now, you should go.”
“I’m not leaving her. She needs me here.”
“Then you will kill her.”
“What?”
“If you stay, you will kill her.”
“I would never do anything to hurt Zoe. And I sure as shit wouldn’t ever try to kill her.”
“Maybe not directly, but you are a distraction. Your presence here weakens her. It reminds her of something that she no longer is. She is not human, Josh, not anymore. The sooner you realize this, the better it will be for everyone, including Zoe. She is not the same woman you knew years ago.”
“But I, she’s still—” Josh fumbled over his words.
“It is time to let her go.”
There was a moment of silence and then Josh’s voice came hard and low. “I will not leave her.”
I thought I heard a growl come from the room.
“I have tried to be nice about this,” William practically snarled. “I have been patient with you because of who you are. But I refuse to lose my strongest warrior because of you. You are human, and as long as you are, you have no right to be close to her. You will stay away from Zoe.”
“Is that a threat?” Josh bit out.
“It is the truth,” William shot back.
I saw red.
I stood in the dark hallway, clenching my fists so tightly that blood dripped from beneath my fingernails, splattering on the stone floor at my feet. How many times had I told William not to interfere in my life? How many fucking times? And yet here he was, doing it again. First, he forced Alec to leave me and now he was trying to make Josh do the same. I was so sick of William trying to control my life. It was still my life.
I was so lost in my own anger that I hadn’t noticed Alec approaching me from behind. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
My cover had been blown. Josh and William cranked their necks to look out of the medical chamber, their eyes locking onto me. Well, hell.
“Nothing,” I said, probably a little faster than I should have. “I was just, um, coming to check on Josh. See how he’s doing, you know? Annie told me he was finally awake so I wanted to come see him and make sure he was okay.”
“I’ll join you.”
Before I could plan my escape or tell him that he didn’t need to do that, Alec wrapped an arm around my waist and towed me into the dimly lit room where Josh and William still watched me like hawks. William’s expression was harder than usual and his eyes colder. Josh’s face was flushed and his blue eyes couldn’t seem to meet mine. I may not have been a mind reader, but I knew what he was thinking in that moment. It was writte
n all over his face. How much did she hear?
I walked next to Alec, making my way to Josh’s bedside on unsteady legs. When I felt William’s hard eyes boring into me I straightened, trying to look stronger than I felt. I shot him a look that told him I knew exactly what he’d said to Josh. He had that look in his eye that told me I was going to get the “it was for your own good” speech.
For a long moment, an awkward silence hung over the four of us as we stood around Josh’s bed. I thought—hoped—William might leave when we came in, but he didn’t. Alec didn’t either. Awesome.
I cleared my throat, forcing myself to speak. “Are you okay?” I asked, my voice coming out no more than a whisper. When I realized I was fidgeting with the seams of my pants I clasped my hands behind my back to still them.
“I’m fine, Zo,” Josh assured me, his eyes darting to William and then Alec, who continued to hover over us like a pair of hypervigilant watch dogs.
“All right,” I snapped, turning to face the two Chosen men. “Can you two give us a minute?”
Alec crossed his arms over his chest and William glowered at me. Neither man moved to leave.
“Seriously,” I continued, trying not to roll my eyes. I turned my attention to Alec, the more rational of the two. “I’m not going to attack him again. I just want to talk to my friend alone for a minute to make sure he’s okay. I don’t need a babysitter.”
Alec looked from me to Josh and then gave me a stiff nod. I thought I heard William growl as he and Alec moved over to the door but didn’t leave. After a moment, they started to talk quietly amongst themselves.
“Look, Zoe,” Josh started as I knelt beside his bed, “I know it was just an accident. Cody and I shouldn’t have followed you guys in the first place. Really, it’s not a big deal.”
“No,” I replied, finding my voice. “It may have been an accident, but it wasn’t your fault. I did this to you, and I’m so sorry I did. I hope that you can forgive me…”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said, not a hint of dishonesty in his deep voice. For the first time since his body went careening into that stone, I felt like I could breathe.