Blue Lines: The Assassins Series: A Loveswept Contemporary Romance

by Toni Aleo

  “I don’t know if the baby will move, but we’ll see,” she said, reaching for his hands. He resisted at first, but soon relaxed, letting her take his hands and resting them on her abdomen. His hands were big, warm, and callused; they also woke up every dirty bone in Piper’s body.

  Remembering she was supposed to be building a moment between father and child, she moved his hands along the spots where the baby usually kicked.

  “It’s hard.”

  She laughed. “There is a person in there.”

  Erik nodded while his eyes never left her belly. After a few more minutes of no luck, he dropped his hands. “It’s probably like ‘who the hell is touching my home?’ ”

  Piper giggled. “Maybe, or it’s probably sleeping.”

  “Yeah,” he said as he walked past her. Suddenly the baby kicked, and Piper whipped around, grabbing Erik’s arm to stop him. “What?” he asked as she took his hand and placed it where she felt the baby move. When the baby kicked again, Piper watched as the most beautiful smile spread across Erik’s gorgeous face. He looked up at her, bright with excitement, but then, all of a sudden, it disappeared. As if he was hiding it.

  “Cool,” he muttered, and then he just walked away. She didn’t understand. He wanted to feel and the baby was still kicking! Why was he freezing up on her? What did she do?

  Hoping to bring him back in, she said, “Our appointment for the ultrasound, to find out what we are having, is in two weeks, on the twenty-second.”

  She watched as he nodded before he said, “Okay, I’ll be there.”

  “Promise?”

  He looked over his shoulder and for a second she thought she saw the guy she had been with for the last two days. He shot her a small smile and nodded as he said, “Yeah, I promise.”

  * * *

  Two weeks later, Piper was trying her hardest not to think Erik had broken his promise to her.

  She sat in the middle of her ob-gyn’s office with her phone in her hand and her other hand tapping her knee. She didn’t know what was going on. He said he was going to be there; he promised. She had even reminded him of the appointment yesterday as she made dinner. He was playing his damn games, but he nodded his head and said he would be there. It didn’t make any freaking sense.

  Things had been okay lately. A part of her thought maybe he was actually enjoying living with her. When he wasn’t playing video games, he came out to sit on the dock with her. They never talked about anything important, but at least they were together. They had a routine, and she was almost happy.

  Tears threatened to fall as she glanced back down at her phone, seeing that he had three minutes to get there before it was time for her appointment. She wasn’t going to call him. She knew that if she did, he would confirm that he was nowhere near her and didn’t plan on coming. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath as her baby moved around inside her. She wanted to know so badly if it was a boy or girl. She was ready to start decorating and was ready to pick out a name. She was ready to call the baby a he or she, instead of an “it.”

  She was ready, but obviously Erik wasn’t.

  “Piper Allen?”

  Piper glanced up to see a nurse waiting with her chart. Standing up, she said, “Just a second, please, I need to call my husband and see where he is.”

  The nurse nodded and turned to go back inside as Piper dialed Erik’s number. He answered on the third ring.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, what are you doing?” she asked as calmly as she could.

  “Playing COD. Why, what’s up?”

  She knew it. Shaking her head as the tears started to rush down her face, she said, “Nothing. I was just wondering if you can turn down my chicken that’s in the Crock-Pot.”

  “Ten-four, no problem.”

  “Thanks, I’ll talk to you later,” she muttered as she hung up the phone.

  She looked down at the ground as her blood started to boil. How was it no problem to turn down some chicken, but it was a problem to be here to find out the sex of their child? Did he not care at all? What had happened since yesterday that he totally forgot? Piper scheduled the appointment so he could come, so that he could be here!

  And he doesn’t fucking show up!

  Fuck him! She’ll find out herself and be happy. She was done waiting around for Erik Titov. If he didn’t want to be a part of their child’s life, then fuck him. She’d do it on her own. She was more than capable of being the baby’s everything; she was a jack-of-all-trades, for fuck sakes. Piper started to march toward the receptionist, but right as she reached the desk, she stopped.

  She couldn’t find out without him.

  That was her plan from the beginning and if he wasn’t going to be here, then she wasn’t going to find out. It was stupid and she might be setting herself up for failure, but she had promised the baby she would wait for him, plus she knew it was a moment he would want to be there for. He had wanted to feel the baby. She knew deep down he did care. He was just forgetful, right? She would wait for him, but first she was going to cuss him seven ways to Sunday for making her miss this appointment.

  * * *

  Setting his phone down, Erik got up to go to the kitchen to turn down the chicken. As he entered the kitchen he wondered where Piper was. She had been gone all morning and he had no clue what she was doing, which was weird. She always made a point to tell him where she was going. He liked that, too. He found himself worrying about her and what she was doing a lot.

  Turning down the dial, he lifted the top to the Crock-Pot thinking about how good things had been between them the last couple of weeks. When she wasn’t drawing or reading, she was usually on the dock, so most of the time he would go out and sit with her. They would talk about pointless things, like the weather, or how her neighbors were extremely nosy. He wanted to ask her other things but never knew if he should. If he did, he knew she would want to know things about him, and that made him nervous. They had to keep things light.

  Things had gotten a little crazy while they were in Las Vegas. He had started to forget that this was a sham and had started to want things he had no right to want. Piper was off-limits and as long as he didn’t touch her or look into her eyes, he would be okay. It was more difficult to do that, though, with every passing day, especially when she would get in the pool in her little strappy bikini.

  When a knock came at the front door, Erik returned the cover to the delicious-smelling chicken and went to answer it. To his surprise on the other side was Phillip. He hadn’t talked to Phillip in two weeks and it was for good reason after that shit he pulled in Vegas.

  “Phone broke?”

  Erik shook his head. “Nope, I have nothing to say to you.”

  Phillip’s face broke into a big grin as he tossed his blond hair out of his eyes. “Is that right?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why is that?”

  “You know why.”

  He rolled his eyes as he said, “Can I come in and we can discuss it? ’Cause I really don’t remember.”

  Erik moved out of the way and let Phillip in, then followed him down the hall. Stanley came running toward the door. “Stanley!” Phillip said. “I’ve missed you, bud, how you doing? How’s a good dog? I know, good God, what are they feeding you around here?”

  “Piper cooks a lot,” Erik muttered as he walked by, kicking his hockey gear out of the way before he dropped down on the couch.

  “That’s cool. Is that what you are mad about? What I said about Piper?”

  Erik gave him with a dirty look and shrugged his shoulders. “Wouldn’t you be mad if your best friend was saying things about getting with your wife and kid once you left?”

  Phillip laughed. “Last I checked, she wasn’t your real wife.”

  “It doesn’t matter, I still have a claim on her.”

  Phillip continued to laugh as he shook his head. “Doesn’t work that way, friend. Either she is yours or she’s not.”

  “She’s mine, and back off,
” Erik found himself saying and even he was shocked by his words. Phillip’s eyes went wide as he sent Erik a nod.

  “Wow, first honest thing I’ve heard you say about her.”

  Erik covered his face as he took in deep breaths. “I care about her, I do, but this won’t work. I am not the guy for her. I am good now because I’m not out anywhere but when I start playing again. I’ll cheat on her. Even if I don’t want to.”

  “How do you know? You can control you penis, you know?” he said as he dropped down beside him.

  “I know, but what if I don’t want to?”

  “Did you want to when we were out in Las Vegas? I didn’t even see you look twice at any female,” Phillip pointed out.

  Erik shook his head as he swallowed loudly. “Because I had her on my mind and I knew she was upstairs alone. I wanted to be up there with her.”

  “See? This could work if you’d let it, but since you keep thinking you are like your biological parents, you won’t allow yourself to try. Erik, you are not them. If we were our parents, then I’d be a crackhead, sleeping with anything for my next fix.”

  Erik shook his head. He hated when Phillip brought up his family. His mom was dirty, the most vile person Erik had ever met. She made his real mom and dad look like parents of the year. Maybe Phillip was right, he came out okay, but that was mostly because he left at such a young age. Erik didn’t get away until he was thirteen.

  “You were never around them growing up.”

  “Neither were you. When was the last time you saw them? Like eleven years ago? My mom called me every other month asking for money until three days before she died, and look at me, I’m okay. Now all I gotta worry about is my sister calling me for money, but it’s okay. We are not them. We are our own people. We make our future. They don’t get to dictate that for us.”

  Erik shook his head. “It isn’t that easy.”

  “I don’t know how it isn’t when you have Alla and Cooper, two of the greatest people I know. I don’t have them. All I have is Tate and you, when you aren’t being a prick and answer your phone.”

  Well, didn’t that make Erik feel like shit? “Wow, would you like to add anything else to that guilt platter you’re serving?”

  Phillip’s laughter filled the room. “Dude, I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m telling you that you’d be okay if you let your parents go and embrace what you have now. You are always living in the past when you don’t need to be. Live in the now, and right now you have friends and family who love you, and a wife who is having your baby. That’s two more people who could love you if you’d let them.”

  Erik paused, looking down at his bare feet before asking, “Where is all this coming from?”

  Phillip shrugged his shoulders as he petted Stanley. “I think you are risking a good thing because you are scared.”

  “Maybe I am, but isn’t that my choice? I don’t want to hurt her, because like you said, I can’t let the past go. I don’t know how to, and I am scared shitless that if I give in to this desire to be with her, I will hurt her, and I don’t want that.”

  “You’ll never know how to do something unless you ask for help or try it on your own. I think you should give her a chance.”

  “I tried, Phillip,” Erik complained, running his hands through his unruly hair. “I stood there holding her belly and my kid kicked, and I swear it was like the kid was kicking me in my gut. I looked up, and she was looking at me, like there is no one in the world but me, and it scared me. She scares me, because she makes me want things, makes me want to change.”

  Phillip nodded as he ran his hands down Stanley’s fur. Looking over at Erik with a grin on his face, he said, “I look forward to that moment, the moment when I find the girl who makes me want to change, because I think it is pure luck to find a girl like that. It means that you care, that you love her and care how she feels. It means she matters.”

  “Whoa!” Erik exclaimed with his hands up in the air. “Who said anything about loving anyone? Change, Phillip, I said, change for her, no love. I have never been in love with a woman a day in my life and no matter how much she makes me want to change, I don’t think I’ve ever loved her. I feel like I care for her, or something, but I don’t love her.”

  Phillip laughed as he rolled his eyes. “You might not now, but you could if you allowed yourself to.”

  “She worries the piss out of me. When she is mad, I get upset, too, but that doesn’t mean anything. It means that she is getting under my skin and that I need to get the fuck out! Because I actually care about the ultrasound, does that make any sense? I actually care about finding out what the baby is because she cares, and I like to make her happy.”

  “I’d want to know that, too. That’s cool. When is that?”

  Erik paused. “The twenty—oh fuck!”

  “What?” Phillip asked.

  Suddenly the front door flew open, banging against the wall, causing some pictures to fall. It startled them both and Stanley started barking his ass off. Standing in the doorway was a very angry pregnant woman.

  “You son of a bitch,” she sneered as she stomped down the hall, leaving the front door wide open. “How dare you!”

  “Now Piper,” Erik said, standing up with his hands out in front of him.

  “You forgot about the ultrasound, didn’t you?” Phillip asked as he leaned back into the couch.

  “Shut up, Phillip!” they both said at the same time. Erik turned to look at Piper just as she picked up his hockey stick.

  “Piper, I’m—”

  Before he could get anything else out, she swung the stick into the middle of his beautiful seventy-inch LED TV.

  “Oh, you are so fucked, dude,” Phillip laughed as she continued to slam the stick into the screen.

  “How dare you!” she screamed as she turned, the stick resting at her side. “How do you forget that today was the day we find out what the baby is! Oh, I know how! Because you are always playing these useless fucking games and you don’t give two shits about this baby or me!” Before he could even move, she swung and slammed the stick into his Xbox console. Erik took in a sharp breath as she continued swinging annihilating his poor game machine. When she was through, Piper was breathless as she turned to him and screamed, “You promised me!” Her body began to shake as tears poured down her face.

  “Piper, I’m sorry—”

  “I don’t want your apology! Because of you, I still don’t know what my child is because I fucking promised our child that I wouldn’t know unless you were there! I promised myself, and also you. I said I wouldn’t do it because I kept things to myself for so long!” she yelled, and it felt like she was jabbing him in the heart with knives. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her, kiss her angry mouth, and apologize but he knew there was no touching or even trying to talk to her right now. “So thank you! Thank you for ruining my fucking day and hell, the rest of my pregnancy because the ultrasound techs are fully booked for the next three months, which means I can’t find out what I am having until the baby is born! I wonder if you’ll be there for that, or maybe you’ll fucking forget!”

  She threw the stick down, knocking over an end table as she stomped through the house and toward the back door.

  “Piper!”

  “No!” she said, whirling around and pointing her finger in his face. “No! You have broken my heart, Erik, for the second time, and you get to say nothing else to me!”

  Her eyes were wide, tears pooling in them before they fell in heaps. She turned to walk out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Erik never meant to hurt her, and when he looked around the house, he was in complete shock at all the destruction she had caused. The biggest blow was the one she did to his heart. He had never felt like such a piece of shit since he left his father’s abusive home.

  “You can promise a fetus things?”

  Erik looked down at Phillip and was about to yell at him when he saw he was wearing his hockey h
elmet. “Why are you wearing that?”

  “Dude, I gotta protect my head. She was swinging that stick harder than Shea does, I swear.”

  Any other time, Erik would have laughed, but right then he shook his head and dropped down on the couch. “Man, I fucked up.”

  “Uh, yeah. She is pissed.”

  “Pissed is not the word for what she is.”

  Shaking his head, he buried his face in his hands as he took in a deep breath. She was right. How did he forget? She had reminded him yesterday! Erik’s heart hammered against his ribs. Usually he knew what to do to fix things, but with her, he didn’t know and she was pissed. Pissed enough to break his TV and game system and probably his neck if she wanted to.

  God, he was an idiot.

  “Yeah, I’m not really sure how you are going to fix this,” Phillip muttered.

  “I’m not, either.”

  But he knew he had to try.

  Because Piper mattered.

  Chapter 13

  The next morning Erik stood at the lakeshore behind Piper’s house letting the water run up his ankles, his mind completely on her. They hadn’t talked much since yesterday, after she annihilated his toys. He still could not believe he missed the appointment—God, he was an idiot. He was losing his mind worrying about her. The feelings he was having were scaring the hell out of him. But he had no control over them. When it came to Piper, nothing made sense and he was starting to accept that.

  Running his hand down his face, he took in a deep breath and reached in his pocket for his phone. Looking down at the display he saw he had no missed calls, no text messages or voice mails. He didn’t even have a Facebook notification, which was so pathetic. Just then the phone lit up with Jakob’s ugly mug, but before he could answer it, Erik jumped in surprise when a hand came down on his shoulder. Looking behind him, a smile came over his face when he saw it was his brother. “Hey, bro, what’s with the phone call, warning me you’re in the vicinity?” he said as Jakob came to stand beside him, his arms folded across his chest.