Blue Lines: The Assassins Series: A Loveswept Contemporary Romance

by Toni Aleo

  “Erik,” she gasped as she took another step back, taking in his gorgeous body.

  He was wearing only those damn athletic shorts. When she looked up at his face, noticing the thick, dark beard and the sad eyes, all the air rushed from her. Every single touch, smile, stolen kiss, everything; every single memory of them came back in full force, playing like a movie in her head. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, snuggle her nose under his chin, and sleep for days. She wanted to scream that she still loved him, that she would always love him, and that she missed him so much.

  Piper swallowed loudly before biting into her bottom lip. She looked away as she cleared her throat and said, “I thought you weren’t home.”

  Chapter 24

  She was so fucking beautiful it hurt.

  Erik had spent the last week aching for her, and now seeing her in the flesh, seeing that she had changed so much since the last time he saw her, almost broke him. He could see her belly button protruding, indicating that she had gotten bigger, and it killed him that he wasn’t there to watch it happen. She wore her hair up in a mess on the top of her head; she even wore a little makeup, her lips bright and shiny, but he couldn’t help but notice the sadness in her beautiful blue eyes.

  God, he missed her.

  He watched as she cut Phillip a glaring look. “He wasn’t here when you called.”

  “She called?” Erik asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, as if it wasn’t a big deal. Erik had been waiting to talk to her for weeks and Phillip didn’t think it was important to let him know that she called or that she was coming over? Glaring, Erik watched as Phillip filled his plate. “She brought me food.”

  “You brought him food?” he asked, turning to look back at Piper.

  She nodded. “I did. That’s what people in the South do when there’s a death in the family.”

  “I, for one, love Southerners,” Phillip said with a grin as he walked to the couch, plopping down before digging in. “Mmm, this is really good, Piper.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly, bringing Erik’s attention back to her. He wanted to tackle her, kiss her naughty little gap-tooth mouth, and tell her how much he missed her. He wanted to tell her that he was a jackass, a complete idiot, but before he could even utter a noise, she said, “Why haven’t you been putting lotion on Stanley’s nose?”

  His face scrunched up as he looked down at Stanley before bringing his eyes up to hers. “I haven’t heard or talked to you in a week and that’s all you have to say?”

  “What else would I say, Erik? You left me, remember? I came over here to drop off some food to our friend. I didn’t come over here to see you or even talk to you.”

  “I know what I did,” he snapped, his anger getting the best of him. “But we still need to talk. You could have called and told me you were sick. I’ve been worried.”

  “If you were so fucking worried about me, Erik, you would have come to check on me, but you didn’t. Instead you moved back in with your best friend, back to your old life, not worried about anyone but yourself.”

  “That’s not true. I’ve tried to get ahold of you,” he said.

  She scoffed. “Oh well, sorry, but I’ve been busy.”

  He shook his head, knowing that she was being stubborn. “I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to know if you are okay.”

  And he wanted to hold her, feel her skin against his.

  “It was a lie. I only told everyone that so I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing anyone.”

  His brows came together as anger took over his body. “Why would you lie about something like that?”

  She glared up at him and said, “I’ve been a little heartbroken, in case you didn’t know. You did leave me. What did you expect, for me to be cheerful?”

  He had been heartbroken, too, but he didn’t know how to say that. He just wanted to hold her, apologize for being an idiot, and hope she would take him back, but he knew that it wasn’t going to be that easy. “Piper—”

  “No, I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped. He could tell she was holding back the tears; her eyes were glazed over and her bottom lip was quivering. “I just want to know how we are doing this. Apparently you haven’t told anyone but your parents that we’ve split up, so what is going on? When are you going to tell people?”

  Erik hadn’t told anyone, because he was hurting. He went to practice, came home, went to bed. He didn’t do anything, unless it was with his parents. It had been a rough week. Sometimes the pain of missing her was so unbearable, he wouldn’t move. He would try to call or text her, hope that she would answer so they could talk. He figured that if they started talking, maybe his feelings would come out easier, but she never gave him that chance. And now he couldn’t get the words out.

  Looking down at the ground, he said, “I figured it would come out at the wedding this weekend.”

  “Okay, sounds good to me. I gotta go,” she said, picking up her purse off the counter.

  “Can’t we talk some more? I don’t want you leaving like this. I think there is a lot more to say,” he said softly, moving toward her, but she took a step back.

  “Do you love me?”

  He was stunned by her question and just blinked as she looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. He knew the answer to her question, but he couldn’t seem to say it. His mouth wasn’t moving, and when she started to shake her head, he wanted to grab her because he knew she was about to leave, about to give up on him again, and he needed her to keep still for a minute. He needed a moment to gather himself, to know what he was saying was true and heartfelt, but before he could do that, she said, “My point exactly. There is nothing to talk about. My lawyer will be in contact and when the baby comes, I’ll make sure to send you a text.”

  “Piper, please don’t go,” he begged. “Please.”

  “Give me a reason not to,” she said, looking up at him. Again he found himself speechless. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to you tell me things that I already know. I know that I wasn’t good enough, I know that I wasn’t worth leaving this glamorous life for, I know that—”

  “You’re wrong. You are too good for me and you are worth it, Piper, it’s just I don’t know if I can give you everything you want and need. I don’t know if I’m that guy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She moved to go around him, but he stopped her, taking her wrist in his as he said, “Wait.”

  “No, I’m so fucking tired of hearing you say you don’t want to hurt me. If you don’t want to hurt me, then don’t! Fucking love me instead. Tell me you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you; tell me that you don’t want anyone else but me!” she screamed, tears spilling over her cheeks. “But don’t fucking tell me that you don’t want to hurt me, because I know you don’t. I believe that you won’t. But you’ve got to believe in yourself.”

  He knew she was giving him time to say those things, to stop her from leaving, but nothing was coming out. He didn’t deserve her; he knew this. And maybe that was why he didn’t fight for her.

  She moved her hand along her cheekbone, catching her tears before she whispered, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get out of here.”

  She broke his grip on her wrist before moving away from him. She stopped to give Phillip a quick hug.

  “I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispered as she kissed his cheek, causing Erik to see red. He didn’t want her lips on anyone but him.

  Phillip smiled as he took her hand in his. Erik wanted to buy Phillip the biggest beer for giving him more time, but then Phillip said, “You know, if you are looking for husband number two, I’d be a willing candidate.”

  Erik was going to kill him, but before he could, Piper pulled her hand from his and slapped him hard across his face.

  Silence filled the room before she spat, “You need to really think before you speak, dumbass.”

  Erik and Phillip watched as Piper left the house, slamming the door for good measure. Phillip turned
to look back at Erik, stunned, with a red handprint on his face.

  Confused, Phillip asked, “Why’d I get smacked? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “You’re lucky if I don’t kill you,” Erik sneered as he kicked the cabinet in frustration.

  “Hey, it isn’t my fault you can’t admit that you love her,” Phillip said as he crossed his legs and leaned back on the couch. Erik leaned down against the counter, as Phillip went on. “And I’m not the dumbass, either, you are, because if that girl was screaming at me that she believed and trusted I would never hurt her, I would never let her go. She’s one of a kind, dude, and you’re a stupid bastard for not being with her.”

  Erik banged his head against the counter. “She may trust me but I don’t trust myself. I don’t want to—” He stopped himself, not finishing what he had been saying since the beginning.

  “Whatever, dude,” Phillip said before throwing his dish in the sink and slapping Erik on the back.

  “I have a lot of beautiful ladies coming over tomorrow, and since you don’t have a wife anymore, you can have one of mine.”

  Erik didn’t want any of those females; he wanted Piper, and Piper only. He had been miserable without her the last week, thinking of her every waking moment, and was a mess on the ice. He wasn’t playing to his full potential because he felt like a piece of him was missing.

  It was as if he had been living in a parallel universe with no direction or rightness in his life since he walked out of Piper’s house. He thought it was going to be easy, just let her go and head back to his old life, but it wasn’t. He found that he didn’t want that life at all. All he wanted was Piper and Dimitri, but he had walked away and Erik had never known that a pain like that existed until Piper slammed the door in his face. He needed to get the balls to tell her what he was feeling, what she deserved to hear.

  “I miss her,” Erik found himself saying.

  “Then go get her.”

  “It isn’t that easy,” he said with a shake of his head. “What if I cheat on her? We have an away game next week.”

  “Like she said, if you don’t want to hurt her, then you won’t. Believe it, bro.”

  “It’s not only that, though. What if I do tell her I love her and she leaves me?” Erik had never admitted this to anyone except Piper. If he really thought about it, this might be the biggest of his fears.

  “She won’t. She loves you and she isn’t going anywhere. You are the most insecure dude I have ever met, and it’s pointless. She isn’t your mom, dude, and you aren’t your dad; you are your own person. And Erik, you and her need each other.” Phillip stood up and faced Erik. “Not only for that kid but also for each other. Don’t fuck up anymore, man. Just tell her how you really feel. Stop this madness; it’s stupid.”

  Erik shook his head. “I don’t know how,” he mumbled.

  Phillip rolled his eyes, getting off the couch and putting a hand on Erik’s shoulder. “It’s easy, dude: You take her by her face,” he said, taking Erik’s face in his hands, causing Erik to jump in surprise. His eyes were wide as Phillip went on. “And you say, ‘Listen, baby, I love you; be with me and no one else. I’m sorry for hurting you and I promise I’ll never do it again.’ Easy. What’s so hard about that?”

  Erik smacked away Phillip’s hands, shaking his head. “Because it is.”

  “Because you are a coward. Grow some balls, dude, or let her go.”

  “I don’t want to let her go, but I don’t know how to say something that I have never said to anyone in my life,” Erik said.

  Erik could tell that Phillip was getting pissed. “Can you imagine her with anyone else?”

  “No.”

  “Can you imagine yourself with anyone else?”

  Erik thought for a moment and all he saw was Piper, but then he remembered how he had acted around those girls at the rink. He loved Piper, wanted to be with her, but why did he respond to those women the way he had? Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “I don’t know.”

  Phillip shook his head. “Well, I don’t, either, but let me tell you, she isn’t going to be there forever. You may not be able to imagine her with anyone else, but she is gorgeous, a real catch, and someone is going to scoop her up and then you’ll be sitting here crying and only seeing her when you go to pick your kid up. You’d better figure something out before it’s too late.”

  With that Phillip walked out of the kitchen and made his way down the hall, leaving Erik with his demons. He was so confused and felt as if he was always going to be this confused, lonely guy. Phillip was right, he was insecure, but when he was with Piper, holding her, looking into her eyes, he felt like he was that man.

  The one worthy of her love.

  * * *

  The next night, Erik leaned against the bedboard, Stanley snoring beside him, as he tried to focus on his book. Not only was it hard to focus when he was a little drunk, but also the sounds of Phillip’s party were distracting him. He asked Erik to stay out, to mingle with the girls, but Erik wanted to be with his dog and a full bottle of Patrón.

  Erik had taken Phillip’s advice and had analyzed everything about Piper and him. He had spent hours trying to think of any reason why she might leave him. She knew all his shit, knew that he was kind of an idiot and just as flighty as she was, and yet she still loved him. She knew that sometimes he could be hard to love but she still did; she wanted to be with him. She fought for him and made him believe that he was a good man. So why would she leave? She wasn’t Katria and he had to believe and trust that she would indeed never be that wretched woman.

  Sitting up, he noticed Stanley was staring at him. Erik could see where his nose was rough and felt guilty for not taking care of it. He was such a self-centered ass; how in the world could he forget to put some lotion on his dog’s nose? Probably because Piper had been the one to do that for him.

  “Come on, bud, let’s go get your lotion.”

  Stanley hopped off the bed and led the way to the kitchen. When Erik entered the living room, Phillip jumped up, announcing his arrival: “And here he is, ladies, my main man.”

  Erik watched as some of the girls perked up, sending dazzling smiles his way. They were gorgeous, all of them, but he had no interest. Waving as he passed through, Erik went to the kitchen, grabbing Stanley’s lotion out of the cabinet.

  “Why don’t you come hang with us, Erik?” Phillip said as Erik bent down to rub his puppy’s nose with salve. Stanley gave Erik a big wet kiss before he stood up.

  “No thanks, I’m tired.”

  “Come on, I insist.” Phillip pulled him down onto the couch between him and a bleached blond broad. Erik shot Phillip a glare as he leaned back, all eyes on him. Phillip had invited five girls over, hoping that Erik would take a couple of them. Too bad, because Erik did not want to be here. He wanted to go back into his room and think of how he was going to approach Piper tomorrow at Audrey and Tate’s wedding. He knew she was going to be standoffish since she hadn’t answered his texts or calls, but he knew he had to try. He needed her to listen to him; he needed to make her believe that he really did love her and that he had been an idiot. He didn’t have it all together and probably never would but there was hope for them. They weren’t broken, maybe a little bent, but with their love, they could make it.

  It was like Alla had said, “You don’t need the perfect relationship, Erik, you only need someone who won’t give up on you, and I believe that Piper is that girl. She will fight for you.”

  And she was right.

  But instead of being in his room, planning what he needed to say, he was sitting in a room filled with women. Looking around the room, he realized that he was attracted to each of them. But he didn’t want them. He didn’t have the intense desire he had when he was with Piper. His hands didn’t itch to touch any of them, his dick didn’t throb, nothing. It was the craziest thing and soon he was smiling like a fool. Maybe he needed this time away from Piper to make him realize that he wasn’t complete without her.
>
  Erik wasn’t the man he had been three months ago. His walls were crumbling. He was a stronger man who was beginning to believe in himself. He might find other women attractive—hell, he might even want to be buried deep inside them—but he knew he wouldn’t. He had numerous chances in the past week and he still only wanted Piper. At one time he thought that maybe it would pass. Maybe he would get over her, but seeing her the other day confirmed that he would never get over her.

  He needed her.

  It pissed him the fuck off that it had taken him so long to realize this. Now all he had to worry about was if she would reject him. Piper was a fireball, stubborn, and even though she was forgiving, would she forgive him for what he had put them through?

  Looking over at the female who was saying she loved the way he handled his stick, he said, “Thanks, but excuse me.”

  “Erik?” Phillip asked as Erik passed by him, but he didn’t stop; he only shook his head before he said, “I want my wife, only my wife.” Erik called for Stanley and started down the hall as Phillip chuckled behind him.

  He entered his room feeling like a ten-pound weight was lifted from his chest. Closing the door, he bent down and picked his phone up from off the floor. He didn’t know what he was going to say; he just wanted to hear her voice.

  He missed it, and he missed her.

  Erik tried to focus as he glanced down at his phone, his fingers shaking as he slowly typed out a message to Piper. It was late, but he couldn’t wait.

  I miss you, and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

  He laid his phone down, smiling at the thought of her reading his text the following morning, but to his surprise, she wrote right back.

  Are you drunk?

  Erik looked down at his phone and took in a deep breath.