by Carmen Caine
“Fate and the future sure seem like the same thing to me,” I said, swallowing hard.
“They’re very different,” he explained with a sympathetic smile and took my hands in his, “Fate is simply the thread we use to weave the future, but each of us spins our thread of fate in a unique way.”
“My Blue Thread is at least a foot-wide.” I pointed out in a slightly bitter tone. “How can I weave anything with that?”
“You might very well spin something no one’s ever seen before, Sydney.” He gave me a smile of encouragement. “Humans are creative. They can dream, and dreams are the seeds of reality. Your fate is merely the setting in which your future unfolds. You alone craft your future by the choices you make.”
I still thought the differences were subtle, but I was no longer all that interested in debating the matter.
I just wanted a hug.
I didn’t care that he was a prince, that he wasn’t even human, or that he was sorry he’d kissed me. My face crumpled with emotion as I launched myself at him. He caught me, pulling me against his chest. Sliding his hands down to my wrists, he wrapped my arms around his waist before locking me into a comforting embrace.
I didn’t cry. I wanted to, but I suddenly couldn’t. “What am I going to do now?” I asked, burying my nose in his shoulder.
“There’s only one thing to do, Sydney,” he said, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Just live.”
I drew back and stared up at him in outright astonishment. “Live? Like nothing’s happening? Is that even possible?”
A smile danced on his lips and he playfully tweaked my nose. “What else is there to do with the time? None of us can tell when any of this might occur. It might be tomorrow or fifty years from now.”
I frowned. How could I possible live with the suspense?
“And now you see why Fae relationships with humans don’t last,” Jareth inserted with rank irritation.
I glanced at him in surprise. I’d forgotten he was there.
His dark brows were drawn into a scowl. “Humans dream and live in the future, exaggerating every emotion to live in a constant state of drama, while the Fae live in the moment. It’s a recipe for disaster, Sydney. Not to mention all of the other issues with iron, water, and the like.”
All of a sudden, the talk of relationships made me a little uncomfortable.
Part of me wanted to hold onto Rafael forever, but another part of me suddenly wanted to run.
Abruptly, I stepped back out of his embrace.
There was a strained silence.
“The streets have cleared," Rafael said after awhile. "We should stick to our plan and retrieve the tethers at once.”
I took a deep breath, relieved that we were doing something. “Let’s go!” I said.
Jareth cocked his head at me and sent me a strange look. “This is the first time that we all agree,” he pointed out dryly. “As much as I enjoy opining about our impending doom, we should focus on the current crisis. If we continue to ignore the lizard people, we’ll all but seal our doom without Sydney’s help.”
I winced, not caring to hear myself spoken of like that even though I was relieved the focus had shifted away from me to something else.
Yes, my fate was hideous, but it could be a long way out.
Maybe something could change.
Deep down inside, I suspected I was being unjustifiably optimistic, but at the moment, that’s all I wanted to do.
I certainly didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“Then we’ll leave shortly,” Rafael announced crisply. “I must see to several small items first. Just give me a moment.”
Moving with a purposeful stride, he vanished through a door that suddenly whooshed open to consume him.
I took a deep, wavering breath.
As I caught Jareth’s dark gaze fastened on me, a stab of anxiety pierced me. Just moments ago, he’d wanted to kill me. Maybe he still did. And though Rafael trusted Jareth, I wasn’t sure that I did.
As usual, Jareth followed my thoughts.
“I can’t believe I’m going to let you live, Sydney. In fact, I’m not even sure why I am.” He gave a nasty chuckle.
“That’s comforting,” I replied, striving for a biting tone. I only partially succeeded.
Jareth stalked towards me, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. “I can’t fathom what Rafael’s thinking anymore. Frankly, I can’t see his source of fascination with you.” He shook his head in disgust and gave a mock shudder.
His attitude was insulting. But being affronted was better than being afraid. “Well, maybe I’m not all that repulsive!” I snapped in my defense. This time, my voice was stronger, definitely more irritated.
Jareth clucked and leaned close, putting his nose directly in my face, less than an inch away. “Kissing you was like kissing a fish,” he said.
That stung my pride. Lack of confidence in my kissing abilities made me retort acidly, “Kissed a lot of fish then, have you?”
With a small humph of laughter, Jareth lifted a finger and flicked my chin. “You have your moments.”
I drew my brows into a furrow as from the corner of my eye, I saw Rafael standing still at the far end of the room, watching.
I hadn’t seen him return.
Apparently, Jareth had noticed him too. A devilish look crossed his face. Suddenly, he pulled me close, his dark hair falling over my face as his lips brushed the tip of my ear.
I raised my fist, fully intending to punch him when I realized he was saying something and then his astounding words began to register.
“You can win this thing, Sydney. You’re tough,” he whispered. “If anyone can achieve the impossible with their Blue Thread, it’ll be you.”
He moved back quickly then, easily catching my fist, and giving it a flip, twisted me back and off balance. I stumbled, but he caught me with a laugh and shoved me towards one of the chairs. As I landed heavily on it, he pivoted on his heel and disappeared through a door in the wall.
I stared after him in astonishment, dimly noting that Rafael was no longer there, but foremost in my mind was the outright astonishment of Jareth’s unexpected support.
Why was he being nice? Was it so hopeless that even he felt bad for me?
Oh, all I wanted to do now was go home, kiss Jerry’s fuzzy head, laugh with Al, watch TV with Grace, and once I felt safe, maybe ask Betty what she thought about everything, or at least the things I could tell her about, anyway.
Heaving a loud sigh, I closed my eyes.
As usual, I was better off shoving all my thoughts away, promising myself that I’d think about them later and then never do it. That had worked wonders for me my entire life.
To distract myself, I took out Rafael’s pen from my pocket, wondering why he’d said it was fated to be mine.
The case was intricately carved, obviously a valuable antique in its own right. And the pen itself looked truly the heirloom full of history that Rafael had claimed it to be. If it had really belonged to his forebear, a great king of Avalon, then it wasn’t really something I should accept.
With a little sigh of regret, I snapped the lid shut and looked up to see Jareth watching me curiously.
I jumped, startled. “I really hate the way you guys pop up all over the place without warning,” I muttered.
“It’s a pleasure to see you too, Sydney,” he drawled sarcastically, moving to catch my hand before I could shove the pen case into my pocket.
He stared at it in obvious surprise before flicking my hand with his finger.
It stung. “Ouch!” I snapped, jerking my hand back.
“And how do you lay claim to Cor’s pen?” he asked casually, but there was nothing casual about the hawk-like expression in his dark eyes as he added, “But more curiously, why does this pen think it belongs to you? Where did you find it?”
“Rafael gave it to me as a birthday present!” I began a bit defensively, not liking the implication that I’d just picked it
up or had stolen it. I half expected him to throw a fit that Rafael had given me a present and added warily, “I’m going to give it back, anyway.”
“Oh?” he prompted in a belligerent tone, slamming his hand over the pen case and practically shoving it back at me. “It’s chosen you, Sydney. It’s not something you can just refuse or give away. It doesn’t work that way.”
I blinked and stared down at the pen uneasily.
Jareth threw back his head and chortled. “It isn’t possessed!” he was obviously enjoying my discomfort. “It isn’t going to stalk or randomly attack you!”
I scowled at him deeper. I never could tell when he was messing with me or telling the truth. “You said it chose me, like it was a live thing.” I mumbled, irritated. Deciding to think about the pen later, I shoved it into my pocket.
“Perhaps it is. Who knows why the pen thinks it’s yours now.” He shrugged nonchalantly. Leaning close with a wicked grin, he snapped his fingers. A slim, wrapped package appeared in his hand. “I forgot how you humans make such a fuss over the anniversaries of your Earthly births. I can’t be the only one who hasn’t given you a gift.”
“Yes, you can,” I said, eyeing him and his package suspiciously.
Placing a hand dramatically over his heart, he gasped, “Sydney, my heart is broken! You are so cruel!” Shoving the package in my face, he added, “You’re going to love this. After this, you couldn’t possibly want anything else.”
With the greatest reluctance, I took and unwrapped the present.
It was a signed photograph of himself with a ‘Happy Birthday, Sydney!’ written across it in large, sprawling letters, and underneath it in only a slightly smaller font was written ‘I know you love me’.
I rolled my eyes and would have torn it in half right then and there when it disappeared from my fingers.
“I’ll just keep that safely for you.” His grin widened. “You’ll admit it one day. It’s your destiny, Sydney.”
I froze, recalling Rafael’s conversation in the parking lot about me being on the path of love. I looked up at Jareth, expecting to feel the usual supreme annoyance I’d always felt in his presence. But this time, the image of him standing in the desert alone and looking sad flashed across my mind, and I felt an odd twinge of sympathy.
Jareth drew back and his expression altered abruptly. “No need to turn so serious,” he growled softly.
Spinning on his heel, he strode away, disappearing through one door as the soft swishing sound of another door announced Rafael’s return.
He’d changed clothes yet again, this time wearing a muted gold-colored trench coat with a black tank top, black pants, and impressive knee-high, leather boots. His blond hair was artfully arranged in an outrageous anime style, and a bold, dramatic pattern of black makeup—complete with glittering sequins—curved in a swirl above his eyebrow to trail down the side of his cheek.
He looked downright wicked.
As he approached, he shook out a shimmery green coat that had been draped over his arm. “This should suit you well,” he said politely.
His tone was distant, mannerly, and formal. Too formal. As if he were talking to a stranger.
A little unsettled, I hopped off the chair and nodded my thanks.
Was he upset with me? He must really be regretting the kiss now.
I swallowed, feeling depressed all at once.
Jareth chose that moment to saunter back.
He’d taken the time to change as well. I shook my head, wondering if they always changed clothes several times a day.
Jareth joined us, shrugging into a long black coat that matched his leather pants, black fishnet t-shirt, and the studded leather collar around his neck.
Rafael’s eyes flicked disdainfully over the collar. "Ajax would like that," he observed coolly.
Adopting an arrogant stance, Jareth responded only with an audible grunt.
I slipped into the coat that Rafael had given me and followed them both as they wordlessly turned in unison to stride through a new door opening in the wall ahead.
This time, the door led us out into the hallway leading from Rafael’s quarters to the streets below. I wondered how the door system knew where we wanted to go, but then became distracted by the high-vaulted glass ceiling, mural covered walls, and tall windows framed with trailing vines. And though it had only been a day or two ago, it felt like years had passed since I’d last seen it all.
We walked in silence down the spiraling passageway, but my apprehension grew with every step as the immense, arched exit loomed ahead of us. We were nearly there when I finally balked.
“Aren’t we going to get caught trying to leave?” I finally asked in a low voice.
“No one knows we’re here yet.” Jareth shrugged without breaking his stride.
“You’re quite safe, Sydney,” Rafael reassured, pausing to wait for me. “The danger lies in returning to Earth. The snares only activate the one way.” He held his hand out in invitation.
I looked at his fingers, wanting to hold them, but I knew he was just being polite.
I mentally kicked myself.
I’d have to watch myself, make sure I didn’t turn needy or desperately try to cling onto something I couldn’t have. I’d seen my mother do that far too much.
Taking a deep breath, I forced my feet forward. And simply to keep my thoughts focused on anything other than Rafael, I mused aloud, “So, the snares only work one way? Is that how the lizard people snuck into Avalon undetected then? I mean, since they’re only watching what leaves Avalon?”
I apparently struck a raw nerve.
Rafael’s jaw clenched.
But Jareth’s dark eyes fired with excitement. “We’ll soon find out the truth. The Hall of Mirrors will reveal the actual purpose of the snares and the Glass Wall itself! We’ll see what the Inner Circle’s been hiding all these years,” Jareth said with a smirk, gauging Rafael’s reaction.
“How will—” I began when Rafael interrupted.
“Do not speak of this here,” he ordered, holding up a commanding hand. “It’s not safe.”
For a moment, Jareth appeared as if he’d disagree, but then we arrived at the archway, and with a careless shrug, he strode through.
I hesitated, but not wanting to be left behind, followed with a hurried skip.
A beam of light shot from our bracelets as we passed under the arch and it shimmered in response. Nothing else happened.
But I waited until we stepped into the courtyard before heaving a sigh of relief.
Above me, the white-stoned tower twisted into a spiral, gracefully stretching up towards the two moons hanging large in the midday sky. Blue butterfly-winged dragons glided in lazy circles, weaving through the islands floating in the sky above us.
Different islands hovered around us this time, different from the ones I’d seen just a few days before, but each still showcased a tall, wispy tower in the center built around or on some unique land feature like a waterfall or crystal cliff. And each island still had its long white staircase circling down through the center to end abruptly in mid-air.
Idly, I wondered at the purpose of those stairs, but my mood had strangely shifted. I didn’t feel like talking anymore. Instead, I peered through the clouds at the vast City of the Queens stretching out in all directions below us.
“Dance with me, Sydney!” Rafael murmured. His tone sounded wooden, almost forced, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the street.
Sliding a hand about my waist, he guided me forward.
Just a short time ago, my heart would have fluttered at his nearness, but now it only felt heavy and sad. Frowning a little, I looked up to find him watching me with his heavily outlined eyes. The makeup made him look all the more mysterious, and I couldn’t even begin to decipher what he was truly thinking.
We stared at each other for a few moments before I looked away.
The streets were fairly empty, only a few devout white-clad Fae remained. Apparently, the
celebrations were over. Briefly, I wondered why they weren’t noticing Rafael dancing only mere inches away from them, but then I saw they were focused on their own appearances. Several were shaking out brightly colored scarves to drape over their shoulders, while others were wrapping chains and feathers over their white gowns. They all appeared a bit self-centered.
Rafael had just given me a half-hearted twirl when Jareth threw back his head and roared with laughter.
I jumped, startled, expecting everyone to look at us, but no one even glanced our way.
“Galahad!” Jareth chuckled fondly, holding his hand out. “It’s about time you came back. I was beginning to worry.”
Shading my eyes, I saw his white pigeon zoom down from the sky to land on his hand. The bird ruffled his feathers, and then craned his head to fix me with a baleful glare.
It was a bit unsettling. He didn’t really act like a normal pigeon, and recalling how he’d tied up Tigger on Thanksgiving, I didn’t think he was a normal pigeon, either.
“You and Ajax are two of a kind,” I muttered under my breath.
Galahad surveyed me with cold, glittering eyes.
As Jareth cooed to him, we resumed our journey, following Rafael as he left the streets to lead us up a steep, sloping path circling the tower. We’d gone about one third of the way up when Rafael and Jareth both paused to inspect their reflection in one of the tower windows.
I watched in silence as Rafael slowly turned his head from side-to-side and then carefully selecting three strands of hair, moved them away from his eyes, leaving the rest to fall half across his face. I wondered what difference those three strands made as I observed Jareth adjust his collar a fraction of an inch and brush imaginary lint from his sleeves.
Apparently satisfied with their appearance, they moved ahead several yards before stopping in front of another window to repeat the process again.
I supposed that if I hadn’t been feeling so down about everything, I would’ve found it amusing to see guys preening themselves so much. But I honestly felt nothing but jealousy that I couldn’t live in the moment like they could. And even though I physically felt fine, and I had only their word that something horrible would happen sometime, I couldn’t free myself from the weight of the future to enjoy the present.