I waited for a beat and then five, but he remained silent.
“Okay?”
“Yep, okay.”
“Really, that’s it? No smartass remark, no pulling my reasons apart and dissecting them for deeper meaning? No clapping your hands in glee—”
“I don’t ever clap my hands in glee.”
This time I raised my brows at him, a smirk quickly finding a place on my lips.
Carter huffed. “That was one time, and I was teasing.”
“Uh-huh” was my noncommittal response. When he squinted at me and gave his version of a scowl, I laughed.
“And no, to all of the above,” he said, ignoring my laughter. “Simply okay.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out his game plan. Carter rarely held back. I should have been relieved, should have felt my shoulders relax, but I’d come here to… hell, to offload maybe, be reassured I was doing the right thing, or maybe even have some sense talked into me. An “okay” was not what I expected.
Fuck it. “So you think I’m doing the right thing?”
He leaned back on his stool and picked up his wineglass. “Do you think you’re doing the right thing?” He had the audacity to quirk a brow and take a sip from his glass and looked far too damn happy with himself doing so.
The asshole thought he was funny. I clamped my mouth shut, worried I’d overshare Davis’s effect on me. He had me in knots, had me believing in the possibility of a world and a future that wasn’t quite so shitty. Not only that, but he made me so hot and needy I struggled to know how to behave. My jaw twitched in discomfort, and I quickly eased the tension before I strained myself.
“I think you’ve massacred the tomato. Let me take over.”
I glanced down, and he was right. If I carried on, the salad wouldn’t survive.
“How about you set the table?”
It was probably a safer option. “Will do.” I headed to grab the utensils. As I set the table, Carter’s voice stopped me short.
“You need to set for four, and an extra space with the plastic utensils, please.”
My eyes widened and I flicked my head up so damn fast to look at Carter I was sure I got whiplash. He snort-laughed. I made to speak but was cut short.
“Holy Stitzel, are you cooking Moroccan?” Davis.
His voiced washed over me. Goose bumps scattered over my skin, lifting the hairs there. I fought hard not to close my eyes. There was no chance in hell I’d be caught mooning over a guy. I never mooned, ever. I didn’t even know what the hell it really meant, other than my mom had used it a time or two when describing her friend’s daughter and how she apparently “mooned” over me.
“We’re in here.”
My gaze snapped to Carter, who’d just spoken and whose eyes were already on me. The bastard was amused, focusing solely on my reaction. Standing a little straighter, I shot him the finger before gripping the fork in my hand more tightly. I would not react other than the usual greeting to someone I knew… to my boss. My stomach dipped.
I was so screwed.
“It smells so damn good in here I could—”
It was inevitable that my eyes flew to the doorway when Davis entered. My gaze traveled to his mouth, which was slightly open before it lifted into a smile. Then it moved lower to the child on his hip. Soft wisps of hair framed her pretty face, her eyes wide and alert, taking everything in. When they landed on Carter, she grinned and wriggled.
Davis bent, his eyes still on me. “Hey,” he said in my direction, his smile still wide.
I grinned back, my heart hitting my rib cage hard. “Hey.” I followed his movements and watched as he placed his daughter on the floor. Once her knees were on the tile, she whizzed off in the fastest crawl I’d ever seen. My grin stretched impossibly wide, amusement bubbling in my chest. She was cute as hell as she raced to Carter. When she reached his legs, she clambered up to her feet, using him as a crutch, babbling away.
“You staying for dinner?” Davis’s deep voice caused that damn extra beat in my chest again. I flicked my gaze at him. He was still crouched low and peering up at me, his stare intense and that ever-present smirk on his face.
“Ye—” I cleared my throat and fought hard to keep color from rising in my cheeks. “Yeah.” I glanced around, seeing Carter was fully occupied with Libby, and Tanner was still absent. “Is that okay?” There was no exact reason behind the question that spilled out. I was just all too aware that he and Tanner were family and my being here meant I was encroaching on family time.
Davis frowned as he stood and stepped toward me, pausing when he was directly opposite, the table separating us. “Of course it is.” He paused. “Is there a reason why it shouldn’t be?”
I allowed myself to shrug, a gesture that had been banned when I’d been growing up. I’d been slowly training myself to rebel against old teachings and challenge my fears and habits. I stumbled at the thought and considered rebelling and going ahead, but some fears were hard to challenge, and now didn’t exactly seem like the best time. Instead, I said, “I just didn’t want to intrude on family time, is all.” My answer was as truthful as I could make it, fully aware of what Davis had previously shared with me about being open and honest. I was trying my utmost to do just that.
Davis’s mouth slipped once more into a grin. “You’re not. And from what I’ve heard, Carter has pretty much adopted you or some sh— erm…” He cut a glance at his daughter. “…something, so that makes you practically family. Right?” He winked, and this time heat lit my cheeks, but amusement played on my lips.
Acceptance was a strange and definitely surreal concept. But somewhere along the way, it had happened. I’d been gifted with it by Carter, and in turn by those who cared for him. I just had to continue to work at pulling it into myself and embracing it. I’d get there, though. I knew it.
I was a stubborn asshole when I wanted to be. I hoped that would be in my favor in my current battle.
Refocusing and trying to ease into this new sense of normality, I glanced around the table. “Does Libby have a high chair or something here?”
“Yeah.” He indicated toward the pantry. “It lives in there.”
“Okay, thanks.” I placed the fork that had remained in my hand down and made my way to get Libby’s chair. Casual. Normal. I could totally do this. And if I lied to myself about it enough, eventually it would become the truth. Right?
With focused movements, I set up Libby’s chair, all too aware of her garbled baby talk. Davis had told me she was almost one, which made sense since she was crawling and trying to stand. Seeing her chattering away and not making a lick of sense reminded me I really had to pull my head out of my ass and call Jenna.
“I’m impressed.”
I looked up at Tanner, who openly observed me. For once he didn’t have a pissed-off stare fixed on me. “About anything in particular?”
He quirked a brow. “You know how to handle a high chair, and you’re not running from the house screaming.”
It was my turn to look confused. “Is there a reason you expect me to run away screaming?”
He appeared to contemplate my words for a moment before saying, “Well, I know you’ve been spending time with Davis, and I know this is the first time you’ve met Libby.”
“I actually haven’t met her yet,” I interrupted, then slammed my mouth shut. Was it weird I’d said that? I wanted to get to know her. Yeah, she was a baby, or an almost toddler, or whatever, but still, she was Davis’s, and I was curious. They’d been here for only about fifteen minutes, and Carter had whisked her away. Davis had disappeared too, so that left me focusing on anything else so I wouldn’t track Davis down, or do the same to Libby so I could get a decent glimpse of her.
My eyes sprang open, honest-to-God surprise smashing into me. Tanner smiled at me. It wasn’t a half-assed attempt at a smile either, one that appeared more like a grimace. Instead, it seemed genuine, and I had no idea how to react to that. I was spooked
the hell out.
Tanner then tilted his head, and my skin prickled. He was fully taking me in. I had no doubt he didn’t even spare the barest of moments checking out the shell of me. Nope. He measured me up, and I could only assume it was all because of Davis and because I was apparently “spending time” with him.
I didn’t know if that was technically true. While I wanted to, as I did want to get to know him better and build on the tentative friendship we’d started, I didn’t think for one moment that Davis would go out of his way to form anything beyond friendly-ish acquaintance. The last thing I was after was pity or an ego stroke. I was simply all too aware I was an asshole.
“Right.” Tanner nodded, spun, and left me alone in the dining area. Had I passed his inspection? Hell if I knew. I supposed only time would tell.
I headed toward the kitchen, uneasy. Davis’s presence had changed the dynamics of me being here. Still finding my feet in Carter’s house, I was becoming better at navigating through tasks without instruction and trying to feel comfortable in his home. I needed to latch on to that so I wouldn’t feel on show.
I ignored the ball of disquiet in my gut. Uncertainty was not me; well, not in my previous life—the one where I’d hidden my sexuality. I was all too aware of how messed up that sounded, since I’d been hiding in the closet all my life. Bringing that part of me to the surface for the world to see was unsettling, but bringing it forward in a home with four individuals…. I could do this. I had to.
“So,” I said when I entered the kitchen, “what’s next?” I eyed the scene before me. Tanner was standing close to Carter, who had Libby in his arms. Tanner looked to be in the process of taking her from Carter. Davis was at the side watching on, a bemused expression on his face. They carried on, despite my entrance. No awkward pauses, no stopping the action…. My ache eased.
“Libby,” Tanner pressed a kiss to the side of her head when he took her from Carter, “meet Dr— Scott.” Tanner took the few steps toward me. They were controlled, deliberate, and the whole time his eyes were on me. “Scott,” he said when he was directly in front of me, “meet Libby. She’s a hell-raiser. You’ve been warned.” He thrust her into my arms, his focus intently on me and no doubt my reaction.
“For sh—ugar’s sake, Tanner. Give the guy a break. Are you for real?”
I didn’t look at Davis when he spoke. Rather, I immediately placed Libby on my hip, forearm under her backside and hand splayed on her back while my other arm remained free. My attention was solely on her. “Hey, Libby.”
Big brown eyes stared back at me; they were identical to her daddy’s. She pursed her pink lips and pulled a face, her nose scrunching up. I could not let her cry. Hell no. Not with everyone looking on and Tanner pushing me into performing for him.
I mimicked her movement and crossed my eyes, then stuck out my tongue. “I can do those silly faces too.” I lightly tickled her tummy. “Can you stick out your tongue too?” I did it again and mentally pumped my fist when the first signs of a smile formed on her mouth. “I bet you do them all the time to Uncle Tanner when he’s not looking, huh?”
I heard a snort but wasn’t sure who it came from. The sound gave me the courage to carry on. “All right, I imagine you’re hungry. Shall we get you strapped in your chair and look for the messiest food possible to paint Uncle Tanner’s walls with?” I didn’t attempt to hold back my grin. I tickled her stomach again and was rewarded by her laughter. The urge to look at Davis was strong, as was the urge to flip Tanner the bird. I restrained both desires and instead looked at Carter.
I could have easily stumbled over my words with how he was looking at me. Pride. While it was an emotion I rarely felt, and even more rarely had sent my way, I recognized the look immediately. I quickly swallowed and kept my grin fixed, allowing Carter’s pride to sweep over me and settle on my shoulders. It felt light and uplifting. “Is Libby’s food ready?”
Carter nodded, and I was sure he was close to being teary-eyed. Hell, I couldn’t handle that. All I’d done was sweet-talk a kid and not freaked out when she’d been unceremoniously placed in my arms.
“Do you have wipes or something for her hands?”
“Yeah.” A smooth caress… every damn time he spoke. I turned in Davis’s direction, not quite sure what to expect. My eyes widened a little at the so damn hot and smoldering look that was being fired my way. “There’s some in her room. I’ll take you.”
He stepped toward me and indicated for me to follow. I did so immediately, my heart in my throat the whole time.
“What about your ba— Oomph.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see Tanner rubbing his stomach and Carter staring daggers at him. Alrighty then. Curiouser and curiouser. As I followed Davis out, I asked, “Libby has her own room here?”
“Yeah.” He spared me a quick glance, his eyes holding mine for the barest of moments before he headed up the staircase.
I held on to the oak rail, using it to steady me as I carried Libby, my gaze drifting to Davis’s ass. It looked firm and the right size to grip and bite. I glanced away quickly. I had to stop with my wicked thoughts when holding his baby girl in my arms. It was so damn wrong, but still… yes, it did look definitely bitable.
“Carter insisted she had her own space.” He shook his head. “I only live a few minutes away.” I could imagine him rolling his eyes. “It’s hardly an epic distance to get her home to bed.”
“I imagine they’re trying to give you some downtime.”
He snorted. “Yeah, downtime to twiddle my damn thumbs and polish my dick.”
My eyes widened so much I was convinced they’d pop out of my sockets. I managed to keep myself from swallowing my tongue, though. Slamming my gaping mouth shut, I carried on in silence, with no idea how to respond to that.
“But yeah, they’re great, family, you know?” I didn’t really. I cringed when I thought once more of my sister. “They do so much for the two of us,” he continued, “and it’s good that she’ll have a place to escape to when she’s a teenager and PMSing.” He laughed. “Stroke of genius, really.”
My lips quirked. I could imagine these three men dashing around looking after a teenaged Libby. Fighting off asswipes trying to date her and throwing chocolate in her room once a month to keep her at bay. On the rare occasion as a teenager when I didn’t have a stick up my backside, I’d done the same for my sister. I shuddered. Not only did the thought of vaginas make me tremble in horror, but the whole menstrual thing absolutely terrified me.
“I’ll give her a quick change while we’re here too.” Davis stopped and opened a door. He waited in the doorway, his gaze flicking between Libby and me. “I usually change her on the bed.” He tilted his head and indicated the single bed in the room. At the end sat a cot, and on the other side of the room a wooden box. I brushed past him, my shoulder touching his chest, so very aware of the contact. Gaze fixed ahead, it didn’t stop me from feeling his on me the whole time.
Placing Libby on her feet on the floor beside the bed, I sat beside her. She held on to the mattress while I remained at her side, one hand on her back—lightly so she wouldn’t squirm away. She bounced on her feet, her knees bending up and down. She then garbled something and latched on to the comforter with her mouth, giving it a good munch. I grinned. “Taste good?” I asked. “Is she teething?” Angling my head, I looked at Davis. He remained in the doorway, an expression I couldn’t read on his face. My stomach tightened. Not being able to know what he was thinking was perplexing. Just as he was brutally honest, his reactions and expressions were usually an open book to his thoughts. Admittedly we didn’t know each other well, but still, right now I was getting nothing other than an intense stare that I had no idea what to do with.
Finding my voice, I asked, “You okay?” I couldn’t just leave it there. There was an uncomfortable need to rush on, figure out what was going on in his head. “Have I overstepped?” Had I? I racked my brain trying to think of what specifically I could have done wron
g. “Is something the matter? Do you need me to leav—”
“No.” The smallest of head shakes joined his response. “Just give me a second.”
My brows dipped. “Okay.” I dragged out the word, my hand smoothing over Libby’s back as she continued to move her knees like she was in training for some sort of sport. And I waited. Alternating my gaze between a perturbed—which was now the look present—Davis and an oblivious Libby, I remained quiet.
The moments ticked by, each fraction of a second uncomfortable. I should really just run, do exactly what Tanner expected of me. This sitting here in awkward silence thing was too much; plus my ass was going numb from sitting on the wooden floor.
“I really want to kiss you.”
My heart stopped. A quiet ringing started in my ears. I needed to breathe.
“But I can’t.”
Thud. There it was. My heartbeat punched against my chest, brutally hard.
“But I will.”
Fuck. Me. Dead. That was going to be my mantra around Davis. I could just tell. “Erm, what?” I hoped my voice was strong. There was no way of telling with the blasted ringing still going on.
“You’re not ready yet.” His face was solemn, certainty coloring each word. And then he smiled. “And I don’t think we’re ready for you yet.”
“We” as in him and Libby? Me and him? Hell, I was so damn confused, and hot, and that ringing was still going on.
“No?” While the word wouldn’t clear anything up, monosyllabic was all I could manage.
“No.” He shook his head. “But we will be.” Davis nodded. It was short, decisive, and seemed final.
I opened my mouth to speak but was pulled away when Libby turned and grabbed hold of my T-shirt.
“Pu, pu.” Wide-eyed, she stared in me in expectation. I had no freaking clue what she wanted.
“She wants to get up.”
I cast a quick glance at Davis and nodded. I swept Libby up and placed her on the bed, but rather than letting go, she held on and used me as her balance so she could really go for it. She seemed to jump as hard as her light weight and small legs could manage, barely making a dent on the mattress, but by her smile, you’d think she was touching the stars.
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