I do everything I can to hold back my tears, but it’s no use. I don’t really know how to react to this. I’m not used to just saying what I mean or what I’m feeling. “I wasn’t trying to manipulate you,” I say, the tears obvious in my voice. “I was trying to tell you that to me, meeting your friends is a really big step.”
“Okay,” he says, leaning against the back of the couch. “Explain that to me.”
I shrug. “I have no idea who they are,” I say. “I don’t know what kind of people they are or what they expect from me.”
He narrows his eyes at me, his lips parting slightly. “I don’t understand what you mean,” he says. “They don’t expect anything from you.”
My face tenses and my head pounds. “I don’t know how to explain it without sounding stupid,” I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I’m scared that your friends won’t like me, okay? What if I wear the wrong clothes or I don’t fit in? What if they don’t think I’m right for you? Then what?”
He shakes his head and walks toward me. “Is that seriously what you’re worried about? That my friends won’t approve of you?”
I nod and sniff, turning away so he won’t see me crying.
But he takes my shoulders in his strong hands and gently turns me back to face him. “Bailey, you don’t have to worry about that for one second,” he says. “I like you. That’s all that matters to them. Trust me. They’ll love you.”
For some reason, that only makes me cry harder. “You don’t know that,” I say.
“Yes I do,” he says softly. He pushes my hair back from my face and cups my cheek. “And even if they don’t, it’s not going to make any difference to me. I already care about you too much to worry about what they think.”
I sniff again and look up to meet his gaze. “You do?”
He nods and smiles, then kisses my forehead. “Yes,” he says. “I thought you already knew that.”
I shake my head and turn toward his hand, kissing his palm. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I kind of freaked out.”
“I could tell,” he says with a laugh. “But next time you freak out can you just talk to me about it instead of hanging up and refusing to answer my calls?”
I nod. “I still can’t believe you came all the way over here.”
I’m so used to playing games with Preston. Hanging up to try to get him to understand that he’s made me angry. Or to get him to agree to something I want. Waiting to see how long it will take him to show up at my doorstep with roses.
Judd’s right, in a way, I was trying to manipulate him.
I never expected him to drive straight here and call me on it.
“Communication is the one thing that matters most to me,” he says. “No games or secrets, okay? I know it’s only been a week, but I really like you, Bailey. I really think there could be something special between us if we give it a chance.”
“I like you, too,” I say. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer the phone.”
He leans down and kisses both my cheeks, then plants a soft kiss on my lips. “You can always just be honest with me,” he says. “I hope you know that.”
“I do,” I say.
“Besides, if I hadn’t come over here, I might have missed seeing the Christmas spectacle that is this apartment.”
I look around and giggle. Compared to his sad little tree, our apartment is like a winter wonderland. There are Christmas decorations covering nearly ever surface in the room. “What can I say? We like Christmas. Don’t you?”
“It’s quickly becoming my favorite time of year,” he whispers, drawing me into another kiss.
Chapter Twenty
No matter how many times Judd tries to convince me that it doesn’t matter what I wear tonight, I still end up spending an hour and a half stressing over my closet.
When I was hanging out with my friends from high school, I always had to think about what I was wearing. Penny was always super sweet, but Krystal and Summer would give me shit if I was wearing something that wasn’t in season or “nice” enough for the occasion. Keeping up with their wardrobes was exhausting. I don’t even know if they realized how much their snide little comments about my outfits really got to me sometimes.
Buying a new pair of two hundred dollar jeans was nothing for someone like Summer, but for me it was more than a full week’s worth of shifts at The Cup. None of them ever had to work,so they never seemed to understand what it was like for me.
I have no idea what to expect when it comes to Judd’s friends. Are they rich like Summer and the others? Are they super down-to-earth like Judd?
My mother always says that first impressions are the most important, and even though Judd says he’ll still like me no matter what, I want to make a good impression with his friends.
Monica helps me some before she has to head out to work for the evening, and we finally settle on a black skirt with a red long-sleeve cashmere sweater that accentuates my boobs. My black boots. Simple jewelry.
When Judd knocks on the door promptly at six, I grab my leather jacket and a plate full of cookies, then head out the door.
“Whoa,” he says,taking my appearance in from head-to-toe. “Maybe we should just stay in tonight.”
My heart sinks and I look down at my choice of outfit. Did I do something wrong? “What? Should I change?”
He shakes his head and pulls me into his arms. “No. It’s just that you look so good, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep my hands off you,” he says.
I smile and lift up, pressing my lips against his. They’re warm despite the cold evening air.
“Come to think of it, maybe staying in isn’t such a bad idea,” I say, kissing him again.
“Oh no,” he says, taking my hand and leading me toward the stairs. “You’re not getting out of this that easy.”
I groan and follow him to his car.
“You have nothing to worry about. Trust me,” he says. “And if you’re not having a good time, we can leave.”
Judd holds my hand all the way to his friend’s house, and by the time we pull up to the small brick house, my heart has somewhat settled into a normal rhythm.
Of course, the second I get out of the car, it’s racing again and I feel like I can barely swallow.
There are at least eight cars parked in front of the small house and when Judd opens the front door, Christmas music and laughter spills out into the night air.
He squeezes my hand and we walk inside, following the sounds toward the kitchen.
There’s a crowd of people standing around the island and lounging against the countertops, their hands filled with food and red Solo cups. When they see us, a collective shout goes up and several people come over to give him a hug or to shake his hand in that half-slap, half-grasp kind of way guy friends do.
“Judd,welcome my friend,” a tall guy with bright red hair says, slapping him on the back. “Who is this goddess you have here?”
I almost look around like an idiot. Is he talking about me?
“This is the girl I was telling you about,” he says.”Bailey, this is my friend Brian. He’s a first-year law student.”
Brian takes my hand and gives it a little kiss. I can’t help but giggle.
“Hi Bailey, I’m Tess, Brian’s fiance.” A short girl with a dark pixie cut steps forward to shake my hand. “We’re glad you could make it. Judd’s told us a lot about you.”
She raises an eyebrow at Judd like they share some special secret, and I wonder what in the world that’s about. Besides, how much could he really have told them? We’ve only been going out for a week.
“Cookies,” I say, thrusting the plate forward like an idiot. “Thanks for having me.”
Tess smiles and sets the cookies down in the center of the food.
Judd takes me around the room, introducing me to his friends. I already know I won’t remember everyone’s names, but so far they’re all super nice.
Beau is there and he gives me a big hug. He offer
s to make me another green martini, but I pass, deciding to stick to slightly less dangerous drinks.
I feel a little awkward at first. These people all seem to know each other so well. I stick close to Judd’s side as we stand in the kitchen snacking on the food that’s spread out across the counters. Fruit. Veggies. Meatballs. Lots of finger foods.
Tess brings me a glass of her famous homemade eggnog, and after we’ve been here about half an hour, I start to relax.
I’m actually a little bit overdressed, but no one seems to care or even notice. I get the distinct feeling they would treat me the same way whether I was wearing this or my sweats.
It’s a foreign concept to me for a party, but I relax into it, glad to not feel like I’m under scrutiny or being judged.
After a while, the group migrates toward the living room and someone jokes about Judd’s dancing skills.
I cut my eyes toward him and I swear he actually blushes.
“Let’s not subject Bailey to that just yet,” he says. “She doesn’t need to know every embarrassing thing about me.”
“Wait,” I say. “I have to know what you guys are talking about. He’s actually blushing. This has to be good.”
Brian laughs, clutching his stomach. “Oh, it is,” he says. “It’s epic.”
I smile, dying to know what they’re talking about. Judd and I danced together that first night at the bar, but I don’t think that’s quite what they’re talking about here.
“Guys, let’s just let it go,” Judd says, but he’s laughing just as hard as Brian is.
One of the other guys, Axel, puts his hand on my shoulder. “Bailey, my dear, by the end of this evening, you’ll either be completely in love with this guy or running the other way,” he says.
“Running,” Beau tosses out.
“I have to know what this is all about,” I say to Judd.
“One,” he says, holding up a single finger and shrugging out of his jacket. “I’ll do one. Then it’s someone else’s turn. I refuse to be the subject of everyone’s jokes again tonight.”
I’m so thoroughly confused until someone brings out an Xbox controller and turns on the television.
Tess grabs my hand and pulls me out of the center of the room. We find a spot on the couch, which I notice now has been pulled to the side to leave the floor clear.
When the TV comes on, the logo for a game called Just Dance comes across the screen, and I bring my hand to my mouth to hide my smile. Judd is going to dance to this game? Oh, this is going to be good.
“Girlfriend’s choice,” Brian says.
I suddenly realize he’s looking at me and I swallow. Girlfriend?
I must look like a deer caught in headlights, because Judd clears his throat and smacks Brian across the chest.
“Oh, um, Bailey, pick a song. Any song.”
I try not to act rattled and turn my attention to the choices on the screen. It’s not that I’m totally against the idea of becoming Judd’s girlfriend, but we haven’t even talked about that yet. Can you become someone’s girlfriend after just a week of dating?
Brian is scrolling through the choices when I point to the screen. “Wait, back up,” I say. “Justin Bieber. For sure.”
Judd groans.
“Hey, my choice,” I say, teasing.
His eyes meet mine and he smiles. My stomach flips and butterflies dance around deep inside. God, I love that smile.
The music begins and Judd shifts his eyes toward the screen.
I watch him in awe. I can’t believe how free he is. He completely misses most of the moves, but he doesn’t even seem to care that he looks like a fool. Whenever he does happen to get a perfect move, the whole room erupts in loud cheers and Judd throws his fist in the air, which then always makes him miss the next few moves.
By the time the song is over, I’m laughing so hard, I might pee my pants. I completely forget the fact that I’m supposed to be nervous around his friends.
When the song is over, Judd’s score comes up. Two stars. He turns around and cheers. “Two stars,” he shouts, pumping his fist. “YES.”
I stand and clap and he comes over and lifts me up into his arms, twirling me around. He plants a deep kiss on my lips.
I pull away in surprise. Preston never kissed me in front of his friends. He said he wasn’t into PDA. It was always one of the things I hated most about our relationship. In private, he was all mine. But in public, he was never comfortable showing any kind of affection.
Judd stares into my eyes, still holding my feet off the ground and not seeming to care that all his friends are watching us.
“Your turn,” he says.
I realize he’s talking about the game and for a moment, I think I might die. But then I think, what the hell, right?
My heart races. “Only if you do it with me,” I say.
He nods and the people around us cheer and laugh. I sit down on the couch and unzip my boots, then toss them to the side of the room.
I smile and laugh and let go, feeling the walls around my heart bend and break and open.
Chapter Twenty-One
It’s almost midnight by the time Judd and I say goodbye to his friends. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much and I’ve had just enough eggnog throughout the evening to keep a very light buzz going.
When Judd takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss just outside the door, an entirely different kind of buzz begins.
Our make-out sessions have been increasingly passionate as the week has gone on, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can resist the temptation to rip his clothes off.
“I told you you’d love my friends,” he says as he leads me to his car.
“I really did have a great time,” I say. “I had no idea your friends would be so cool.”
He smiles and my heart races. His eyes dip to my lips and desire flashes across his features. He stops beside the passenger door to his car and turns me around so that my back is pressed against the cold frame.
He doesn’t say a word. He just places his warm hands on either side of my face and draws me toward him, our breath mingling as our lips meet, our mouths opening and closing in hurried need. I want him in a way I never expected. There are no walls between us right now. He’s seen more of me in the past week than I’ve ever let any guy see my whole life.
The fact that I don’t have to put on pretenses around him or play games to try to get him to notice me is one of the sexiest things about him.
He likes me for me.
And, oh God, I like everything about him, too.
I slide my hands beneath his jacket, drawing his shirt into my fists, pulling him closer.
He moans and buries his hands deep in my hair. Our lips separate and I kiss a pattern along his jaw and down his neck, wishing we weren’t standing on a public street where anyone could see.
“Please tell me you don’t have to work tomorrow,” he says.
My body reacts to the implication with a warm sensation deep down.
“Not until noon,” I say.
He moans again and draws my mouth back to his. He grinds his hips against me and I can feel him growing hard. I press into him, grabbing at his belt loops.
“I’m really trying to be a gentleman, here,” he says, breathless between kisses. “But I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it up.”
I smile and kiss the hard line of his jaw. “Then don’t,” I whisper.
He shivers and looks down, his hazel eyes lit with desire. “I don’t want to rush you,” he says. “I know it’s only been a week, but—”
“If you’re not ready—”
“I didn’t say that.” A corner of his mouth lifts in a sly smile. He still has his hands firmly cradling my neck and face. “I just want to make sure it’s what you want. I don’t want anything to mess this up, Bailey.”
I breathe in, my heart racing. I want him so badly, but I’m also scared. If I’m already liking him this much, what is sleeping with him goin
g to do? If he breaks my heart now, I don’t know if I’ll recover. One heartbreak is bad enough. Two in short succession would kill me.
And I’m honestly not sure I’m really over the first one yet.
Which complicates things.
“I’ll take you home,” he says, his voice catching on the words. He lowers his hand to mine and squeezes once, then moves to open my door for me.
I push the door closed and grab his jacket with both hands, pulling him toward me. “I don’t want to go home.”
He swallows. His eyes explore my face. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I say. My knees grow weak and my adrenaline is pumping. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by trusting him with my heart, but I’m tired of always being careful and plotting these things out. I thought I had the rest of my life planned out with Preston and look where that got me.
This time, I’m not going to follow some master plan, figuring out each step before I’ve even given a single thought to what I really want.
This time, I’m going to follow my heart.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I can’t keep my hands off of him as he throws open the door to his apartment and ushers me inside.
My arms go up and around his neck and he pulls his jacket off and tosses it to the floor. He reaches both hands up to cup my cheeks, his lips exploring mine in a torrid rush of heat.
He pushes my back against the wall of the front hallway, then moves his hand down to help me out of my coat. His fingertips explore the soft curves of my sweater, caressing me and touching me in a way that builds a swelling need between my thighs.
There’s entirely too much fabric between us still, and I want it off so I can touch his hard body and his warm skin. In all our making out so far, we’ve stayed completely above clothes and mainly just spent hours kissing.
A Season For Hope (A Fairhope Christmas Novella) Page 9