by Sarah Thorn
“That’s the difference between men and women, Cynthia. We can go well into our years before marrying and never suffer a stigmatism. It’s called being a lifelong bachelor. That’s praised in many circles!”
“I wouldn’t know why.” Cynthia huffed. “It certainly takes more effort to be a spinster than it does a bachelor.”
Alex nodded. “I’ll give you that, dear. It is very much a man’s world. Would you like to attend the ball this Friday with me?”
“That would be lovely, Alex. Tell me, though, how will you attract a lady if you always take me everywhere you go?”
Alex laughed loudly. “I do not take you everywhere I go, my dear! You should know better than that.”
Again when Cynthia looked at him, his eyes sparkled back at her, and she felt a warm affection for him.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Alex.” She gushed. She raised her glass into the air. “Here’s to our friendship.”
“To our friendship.” He picked up his glass and clinked it against hers.
Duke Daniel Willingham looked out over the green field, scanning it closely for animals or any changes that may have been made since he last took a ride out this way, which was exactly a week ago. He sighed. There was no change. No one ever trespassed on his land poached or camped out there. No one threatened his family in any way. It was always boring and tedious, these ritualistic tasks his father made him do. Normal people aren’t still held under their parents’ thumbs when they reach the age of 21, much less 30. His thirtieth birthday was only a few months away, and his parents were itching for him to find a bride and create an heir.
“They’re not even that old,” Daniel grumbled as he pressed his heels into the horse’s side to get it to move forward. He leaned forward and patted the horse on his neck. “We got this, Your Majesty,” he said to the horse. “You know nothing’s out here, don’t you, boy?”
Over the years, Daniel’s father had built quite an empire from almost nothing and would defend it for his very life. He had fought a war to protect his land and lived to tell about it. Now, many years later, his father was still fighting that war, but he’d brought it to his own back yard. Grand Duke Isaac Willingham was a tyrant and a bully but only when it came to his suspicions. If he felt taken advantage of, he would light up like a fire in the night. He was loud and could be rude. Daniel couldn’t fathom what kept his mother from running for the hills at some point over the last 30 years. He had ruled his district with an iron fist since he inherited it from his father.
Daniel supposed it was the other side of his father, the one that only a few people were privileged enough to see that kept his mother with him and his family loving him. The strength that his father exuded when angry was matched for his other emotions as well. He was a fierce defender of his wife and three children. He was loyal to the core and honest as the day is long. Daniel couldn’t remember a time when his father had lied to him. He may have been mistaken or confused, but Isaac never lied. Daniel had learned from that. He strived, to be honest in everything he did.
Unfortunately, that meant he was open about his feelings for the women he courted. He had been through many in the last ten years. Many. They had been fun for a time. Each one of them had special qualities that he adored. But there was always some kind of problem. They were too clingy, too naggy, too homely, too tall, too short…there was always something wrong that made him turn away from them. After they had fun, though.
That meant a lot of the ladies in town and that he had to dance with during the Season were already onto him. They already knew what he was about and would only deign to give him a quick Waltz or Polka because he bothered to come to the ball in the first place.
He sighed, seeing the faces of his most recent encounters in his mind and reviewing each of them quickly to see if a second or third date would be possible. His father had given him an ultimatum. Find a bride or be disinherited.
That was the last thing he needed. He had no money of his own and lived off of his father’s allowances. He had few duties when it came to taking care of their dukedom. Any that might have been his fell to his older brother, Mark, who had been successfully in charge since he was about 21. Now, fifteen years later, Mark was well-known and highly regarded all through the lands. He wasn’t going to be able to match up to his brother. He’d stopped trying long ago.
But recently his mother and father had bestowed a new responsibility. He was now in charge of the Eastern portion of their lands and was expected to rule the district in a manner his father approved. That meant being a married man with at least one heir. He was getting older, and it was starting to annoy them.
Always willing to listen to his father’s suggestions and obey when told something to do, Daniel had decided to press forward and really find a bride this time. The new Season started on Friday, and he would be at the ball.
He sighed again, rocking back and forth in the saddle as his horse trotted back to the stable. If there weren’t any new ladies at the ball, he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for.
Then again, if he looked at women he hadn’t considered before, that might help his cause. He shook his head instinctively as if to wipe away the thoughts. Who hadn’t he considered except the old hags and the wallflowers? He didn’t want a lady who would follow him around like a puppy dog or one who would behave like she was his mother. He didn’t want a lady who just sat there doing what she was told either. He had his own life to live and wanted to find a woman who had her own, as well. He had no idea if he would find her but it was going to be too late very soon.
Chapter Two
Cynthia needn’t have worried about her impact on Alexander’s social reputation. They were barely seated when he was surrounded by several women, flirting and hinting they would like to be seen with him during the Grand March. He gave her a smile and stood up to move off with the women following close behind him. He knew it didn’t bother Cynthia to have the women all around him as much as it made her feel crowded. He tried to show as much respect for his friend as he could.
There were three other people at the table, chatting and drinking. One man and a woman were drinking white wine. The other gentleman’s glass looked to be filled with something clear, but Cynthia couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
She scanned their faces while they were chatting with each other, trying to remember who they were. Slowly, she found their names in her memory banks. The couple that was obviously talking to each other were Lady Catherine MacGregor and Sir Anthony Duke. She remembered his name suddenly because she remembered thinking it was a good thing he was an Earl and in the military rather than being a Duke.
She lowered her head and hid her grin behind a fabric hand fan, which she flipped open. She couldn’t help giggling behind it, thinking he would be called “Duke Duke.” She feared she was going to fall into a fit of giggling if she didn’t get her mind off of that phrase and quickly, so she lifted her eyes and looked directly into the gaze of the third person across from her, the hardy Duke Daniel Willingham. His direct gaze instantly halted her giggling, and she lost her smile. He had a strange look about his face, and she didn’t mind staring right back at him. He didn’t look away. Their attention was suddenly broken when the couple stood up, and Sir Anthony said to Duke Willingham, “I’m going to dance this one with Lady Catherine, old chap. You should find someone to take out on the dance floor.” He glanced over the table at Cynthia. “Perhaps Lady Vogel would care to dance?” Without waiting for a response from Cynthia, he put his hand on Lady Catherine’s waist and ushered her out onto the dance floor.
She decided not to say anything in response. She reached out slowly, picked up a glass of wine that had been set in front of her and took a long drink from it. Her nerves were on edge, and she couldn’t pinpoint the reason. It could have been the way Duke Willingham was looking at her. Or it could be that she was staring back at him with just as much determination.
What is he looking at? She thought, feeling a bi
t of anger at his audacity to just sit there and stare at her. His face did not register the feelings of a love-smitten suitor. He was looking at her as if to analyze her without asking questions. There’s certainly a lot more to me than just my outer appearance! She thought and was suddenly wondering if her dress was in style this Season or if she had accidentally worn an old one. She forced herself not to look down at her gown. Perhaps she had spilled something on it somehow?
She was nervous all of a sudden, and that unnerved her even more.
Daniel leaned forward abruptly. “Well?”
She raised her eyebrows.
“Well, what?” she replied.
“Do you want to dance?”
“If you wish it.”
“If I wish it? Do you want to dance or not?”
“I don’t want to step on your toes, sir, as I am not a very graceful dancer.” She found herself speaking more openly with him than she typically did with men. The whole situation made her feel strange and confused.
“I don’t mind that.” Daniel stood up and held his hand out toward her. “I might be the one stepping on your delicate toes, and that would not be a good thing, would it? We’ll be clumsy together.”
Cynthia smiled at that though she was still feeling awkward. She took his hand, and he led her out into the throng. He put his arm around her waist, pulled her close to him, and they began to spin along with the rest of the dancers.
“This can’t be your first Season.” Daniel said, his warm breath whispering through her hair to her ear. It gave her chills. “Why have I not seen you before?”
“I have been to two previous Seasons, my lord. Before that, I was betrothed and wedded to a fine young man who died suddenly.”
“How tragic! You have my condolences. What happened, if I may be so bold?”
Cynthia was able to speak of it casually now. It had been four long years. “He was thrown from his horse, struck his head on a rock and died instantly.”
“Good Lord! I am sorry, my lady.”
His voice sounded genuinely sorry when he said it. Though she had heard genuine sympathy before, she had previously thought that would not be possible for this brash Duke. She knew who he was, and she knew his reputation among the ladies of the town. He was known as a scoundrel by some, a rake by others and a charmer by still others. She was going to have to decide for herself who he really was. She looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Thank you, my lord.”
“Do you have an opinion of the ladies and gentlemen of the Season?”
“The pickings are light, my lord.”
“What makes you say that?” He was curious.
“I have been to two of these, as I said. The same young men and women are recycled through when they do not find a match. New arrivals are quickly absorbed. It can sometimes be a bit chaotic if you ask me.”
He nodded. “I truly agree with you. This has been my thought for some time, as well.”
She looked at him. “Forgive me for speaking honestly, my lord, but you have a reputation that precedes you. There are many women here that you have courted, even for a short period of time. In fact, would I dare say most of them?”
He was a little taken aback by her frankness. He gazed into her blue eyes the way he had across the table. She interested him. She was quite a character, and he felt instinctively that he could trust her. So he decided to be perfectly honest with her, as well.
“I have, in fact, courted most of these women, yes. I can probably mention on one hand those that I haven’t courted. At least those between the ages of 18 and 30. It was what made me curious that I do not remember seeing you here before.”
“It is my instinct to stay on the sidelines, my lord,” she responded. Her head was becoming a bit dizzy, and the dance floor was hot. She longed for her fan. She wondered if he noticed how faint she was becoming.
“But you are not a quiet woman.” As soon as he said it, Daniel wished he could take it back. His surprise had gotten the better of him, and he blurted the words out without thinking. She was not a wallflower. She was a bright and interesting woman. He supposed being a widow could have made the difference in her approach to the Season.
She gave him an amused look. “I am not sure whether to thank you or to take offense, my lord,” she said with a small smile.
“I just meant…I apologize, I usually do not pay attention to the ladies who do not come out to dance. I am surprised I did not notice you before.”
“I know who you are.” She wanted to stick her tongue out at him playfully but did not dare push her luck.
“So you mentioned,” he responded. The song was finally over, and he was leading her back to the table. She was slightly out of breath and gestured for a new drink as soon as she reached the table. When it was brought to her, she drank half of it at once.
“All you all right, my lady?” Daniel asked, sitting in a chair that was closer to hers this time. He leaned in closely and looked at her face; concern openly displayed on his. She nodded and held open her fan, waving it so that a nice breeze blew over her.
“My, I was just so out of breath. Dancing is fun, but sometimes it can wear a girl out.”
“Would you like another drink?” He watched her down the second half of her wine and was on his feet to retrieve another.
“Thank you, my lord.”
Without a word, he disappeared.
Cynthia’s head was spinning. It felt like she hadn’t left the dance floor. She couldn’t decide if she had had too much wine or if the motion of the dance was just lingering in her mind. She didn’t remember having this much trouble in the past. But then, it was quite a few years ago since she was looking for a man.
And she wasn’t really looking for a man. She thought about Duke Willingham, who certainly didn’t seem like the bad boy all of her friends made him out to be. But then, how would he have gotten time with them all if he wasn’t a charmer?
Her mind became even more confused. Was he using that charm on her now? Was she mistaking his behavior as genuine because he was so good at playing the role?
She felt a bit angry now. She wasn’t one to be taken advantage of.
When he came back with her drink, she had worked herself into believing he was not genuine with his actions. She looked at him through narrow eyes when he sat opposite her. He looked a little surprised at her odd behavior.
“Here you go. Is everything all right?”
“I’m not sure,” Cynthia said. “I…You…” She made herself angrier by not being able to express herself the way she wanted to. He surprised her by leaning close to her and placing one hand very close to hers on the table. She didn’t pull her hand back. When the tips of their fingers touched, she noticed. It made her heart pound.
“Let me put your fears to rest as best as I can.” Duke Willingham’s voice was low and smooth. “You don’t know if you can trust me because of my reputation. You hope that I’m genuine, but you think I’m probably not because I’m used to charming all the ladies I can. Am I close?”
She sniffed quietly and nodded.
“I do have that reputation, Lady Cynthia. And the rumors that I am going to be disinherited soon are also true. This knowledge makes it even more difficult for women to trust me. But with you…I haven’t seen you before, my lady. I would like to ask you to take a ride with me tomorrow around the park, or go for a walk if the weather is nice. Please give me the opportunity to get to know you more and to show you that my behavior with you is genuine.”
Cynthia lowered her head, thinking hard. It wasn’t just her doubt that Daniel could be trusted. It was also the fact that, deep in her heart, she knew she never wanted to marry another man. She was happy alone and functioned best that way. She had always known it. She would never marry again.
Chapter Three
The sun breaking through her windows and shining its bright rays directly in her eyes was what woke Cynthia up the next morning. She instantly recalled the night before, pulled one of the pill
ows out from under head and placed it directly over her face.
“Lord, take me now!” she called out, half-jokingly. She smiled into the pillow and squeezed it against her face momentarily before throwing it off. She looked up at the wispy dark red drapes that hung over her canopy bed. “I don’t want to get married again,” She said out loud. “I don’t want to be dependent on a man or be responsible for a man. I don’t. But I don’t want to hurt the Duke’s feelings. He seems somewhat genuine. What do I do? Oh, what do I do?”
Was she now trying to convince even herself of these facts? She thought of when she and the Duke had parted ways the night before. They had spoken briefly once more when she had told him that she would agree to go on a ride with him the next day. He said he would pick her up at noon or half after. She did her grooming and got dressed on her own. She had let most of the servants go years before, choosing to save the money to live off of while she paid off her late husband’s debt.
As she went downstairs for some tea and biscuits, she thought about the Duke. He needed to marry within three months, or he would be disinherited. She needed to have the debts paid off so that she could keep her home and the money she had to live on. Perhaps they could come to some kind of arrangement.
The thought made her feel a little nauseous. She was taking something as sacred as marriage and making it into a business proposition. What did that say about her character?
She would find out more about him on the ride today. She would have to broach the subject at some point in time, but she wanted to make sure that his behavior the night before didn’t stem from having too much wine, brandy, scotch or whatever it was he had chosen to drink. Alcohol did seem to have an effect on how people behaved. She knew that with first-hand knowledge.
She ate a nice breakfast of eggs and biscuits and delighted that the tea was brewing just right. It was a nice way to start her day. She decided to eat on the veranda to watch as the sun finished rising up behind the mountain in the distance. She had kept a hand maiden, Jenny and the cook, Betty, so Jenny doubled as a kitchen maid, too, cleaning and serving Cynthia her meals. She’d known both ladies for years, and they had no problem juggling their work around so that everything was done and no one was overworked. Alice was the only other servant, and she typically cleaned the parts of the house that were rarely used, answered the door and ran errands.