They'd disrupted his life, caused him concern for their well being when he otherwise wouldn't have given two shits less and now, having that slip of a woman pass him over for her snot-nosed kids caused something deep in his gut to ache and burn.
He raised his still gloved hand, scrubbed at the scar on his face and stared down at the half-eaten food on his plate. From the looks of it, she'd spent a good deal of time cooking. He couldn't remember the last time he had fresh biscuits. They were flaky and still warm, butter dripping off the tops of them and the gravy was thick, just the way he liked it. He sighed, shaking his head before picking his fork back up.
He finished his breakfast then stood to wash his plate. The sink was sitting full of dishes already. The notion of washing them for her swamped his thoughts but he dismissed it as quickly as it came. He wasn't catering to her. Why should he? She couldn't even grace him with her presence while she ate his food. Anger coursed through his veins again. He shoved his plate into the sink with the others, crossed the room and stepped through the kitchen doorway.
She looked up at him when he stepped fully into the room. The fire behind her bathed her skin in golden light. The dark circles he'd seen under her eyes the day before didn't look as dark today and her complexion was more pink than pasty white.
He blinked and turned toward the door, putting her out of his mind. Reaching for his coat, he slipped it back on, not really knowing what he was to do outside. The animals were all taken care of but sitting inside with her and those kids…
He couldn't do it. Couldn't pretend he was okay sharing his home with them. Given the choice, that woman would have turned her back and avoided looking at him the same as everyone else did. The only reason she didn't now was because she needed the comfort of his home, the warmth it provided and the food he'd been storing since late summer.
Jamming his hat onto his head, he grabbed the door handle but froze when she said, "Mr. Lloyd, please wait a moment."
Noah stared at the door, the sound of her skirts swishing as she crossed the room. She stopped right behind him. He could feel the weight of her presence and he clamped his jaw. She said nothing for long moments but finally cleared her throat.
"Would you happen to have a tub large enough for bathing?"
No sooner had the last word whispered past her lips did the vision of her standing in his home, naked, while water slid over her limbs filled his mind's eye. He closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the images but they seemed to multiply as the seconds ticked on.
The curve of her breasts he'd seen the night before through the blankets filled his head. He wondered of their size, the fullness of them. Were her nipples soft pink or brown? He gritted his teeth and conjured images of the war, dispelling her as quickly as she came to him. "I have one in the barn." His voice cracked as he spoke and he cleared his throat. "I'll bring it in for you." He left, slamming the door behind him.
Trudging through the snow, he entered the barn, stood in the cold, chilly air and breathed deeply, trying, but failing, not to imagine Keri Hilam naked.
Shaking his head, he opened his eyes, glanced toward the tub and sighed. "You've been too long without a woman." Crossing the room, he grabbed the tub, hefted it onto his shoulder and started back toward the house determined not to think of her again.
* * * *
It took some time but Keri managed to get a blanket hung in the kitchen doorway so she'd be able to bathe in private. Aaron was scrubbed clean and already by the fire in the oversized shirt he'd worn to bed, his filthy clothes soaking in the sink and Sophie Ann was splashing in the tub, her giggles filling the room.
Keri kneeled by the tub, washed Sophie's hair, scrubbed the dirt from behind her ears and the rest of her small body, and smiled at her now pink cheeks. "There," she said. "All done." She stood, held the same drying cloth she'd dried Aaron with and waited for Sophie to stand.
Dressing her in the night shirt, she sent her into the other room. She set Sophie Ann's dress into the soapy water and undressed herself, tossing her own clothes in, and sighed as she finally sank into the water.
It was pure bliss. The water was barely warm, not to mention dirty after bathing Aaron and Sophie, but Keri didn't mind. It was a bath, the first she'd had in months. She scrubbed and rinsed her hair until it was squeaky clean, washed her body, then lathered up and washed again, not stopping until she felt like a whole person, then leaned back, draping her arms over the side of the tub, stretched out her legs, and closed her eyes.
When Noah had brought the tub in, Keri had been surprised at the size of the thing. She'd imagined squatting in a small, round, half-barrel like the one she'd had back home, trying her best to bathe away the dirt on her body but what Noah had produced was nearly a full size bathtub big enough to lounge in. Big enough for a man the size of Noah, she reflected.
Thinking of him, she sighed again. She wasn't sure why, but she got the distinct impression he was surly and rude on purpose. It was no secret he rarely spoke and when he did, he was short and quick to say whatever it was he had to say. He rarely, if ever, made eye contact with her and more often than not, his head was tilted to one side, his hair lying flush against the scarred side of his face. She didn't think it was a conscious act, either. Probably something he'd done so long, he didn't even realize he still did it.
Her thoughts drifted to that scar, wondering how it had been made and why. She wasn't even entirely sure that was his only one. She'd yet to see him remove his gloves. He went so far as to eat with them on and to say it was a peculiar act was an understatement. Everything about him was peculiar, if you really looked hard enough. The amount of food he had stored was just this side of odd. He'd said he didn't like going into town as way of explanation and she had no reason not to believe him but it was still strange behavior.
Of course, she had her own unusual faults she supposed. Everyone did to some degree, but since the snow was still falling, it looked as if they'd be stuck with Noah Lloyd for some time yet. Not that she minded. Sure he seemed a bit cussed but she wasn't about to complain. She was warm, fed and oddly, felt protected in this small cabin with a man who seemed more likely to grunt an answer than speak one.
There was no hint of a woman anywhere in the cabin. Not one lacy curtain or doily. The air smelled of gun oil, horse hay and man. If Noah Lloyd had a woman friend, she didn't frequent his home often.
Keri fluffed her drying hair, the ringlet curls she'd grown to hate over the years bouncing back to life now that her hair wasn't coated in dirt and grime. Taking a glance down the line of her body, she ran a hand over her flat stomach. Her hip bones protruded a bit and her skin looked pale and unhealthy. She'd given up many meals so Aaron and Sophie could eat. She didn't regret doing so but her body had suffered from it. Where she was once soft and plump, she was now thin, her bones seen through her withering flesh. Her breasts were smaller, the fatty tissue that used to fill them out vanishing along with the rest of her. They barely filled her palm now.
Would Noah find someone as skinny as her attractive? Would any man, for that matter? With John gone, and the struggle to make it to San Francisco getting harder by the day, the thought of taking another husband looked more attractive now than ever. Did Noah Lloyd want a wife? One who was skin and bones and had less hair than he did? Doubtful. She'd be lucky if any man wanted her the way she looked.
Hearing the door to the cabin open, Keri stood, grabbed the small drying cloth and wrapped it around her body. She lifted a leg to step out of the tub and jumped, startled, when Noah bellowed, "What do you think you're doing?" loud enough to bounce off the rafters.
Sophie Ann screamed and Keri nearly fell as she jumped from the tub and ran toward the curtained doorway, bursting into the other room to see Noah reach down, grab Sophie by the front of her gown and lift her body off the ground, fury etched into every line on his face.
Chapter Seven
"Put her down!" Keri ran across the room, wrapped one arm around Sophie's small w
aist and pulled her away from Noah. His face was all hard lines, rage contorting his features. She backed up, putting as much distance as she could between them, and didn't stop until her back hit the wall.
Shushing Sophie and trying to get her to stop crying, Keri glanced around the room and felt her heart hit her stomach. Dozens of pencils and papers littered the floor, a worn leather journal by the fireplace showing a few straggling pages and every sheet of paper she saw held drawings of some sort. Beautiful sketches of people and landscapes now ruined with Sophie's clumsy scribbling slashing across most every page. Her chest ached to see them, the air in her lungs leaving in one giant whoosh. "Oh, Sophie Ann, what have you done?"
Swallowing, and forcing her heart to stop pounding, Keri set Sophie on her feet. "Go get on the bed and don't move until I tell you to." She looked at Aaron who was huddled by the rocking chair and nodded to him. He took three steps away from the chair, grabbed Sophie's arm when she was near enough and ran with her to the blankets hanging around the bed, then ducked behind them.
Keri lifted her gaze to Noah. He was staring at the floor, his mouth a hard angry slash across his face before he bent to pick up one of the pages, then another. She bent her knees, grabbed the ones nearest her, scooping up the pencils as well, and didn't stop until the floor was once again bare.
She glanced down at the drawings she held. The one on top showed a woman, her dress as fancy as any Keri had ever seen. Her hair was long, draped across her shoulders in big curls and the smile on her face was flirtatious. The word, Isabelle, was scrawled under the likeness. Sophie's scribblings slashed across the page, cutting the woman's pretty face in half. Keri's chest ached looking at the ruined drawing.
Lifting her gaze, she locked eyes with Noah. He still looked angry. His eyes cold, his jaw clenching every few moments. She had no idea how to fix this.
Where had Sophie found the drawings? She wondered, looking around the room. There wasn't much in the cabin to begin with but the small desk by the window caught her attention. An oil lamp and a few books littered the top. The journal had to have been there. It was the only thing low enough for her to reach.
But why would she mark on the drawings? The back of her eyes burned as she looked back at Noah. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Lloyd," she said, her voice a soft whisper. "I didn't… I should have been quicker about my bath. I should have watched her better."
She blinked away tears and held out her arm, offering him the drawings and pencils. He snatched them away, then ran his gaze over her from head to toe, his jaw clenching again before he turned his back to her.
"Go dress yourself."
His harsh tone felt like ice over her flesh but a glance down at her body changed the cold shivers to molten lava as she cringed, humiliation burning so hot she thought she'd catch fire. She gasped, clutched the tiny drying cloth she wrapped around herself tighter and turned, running back to the kitchen and ducking behind the curtain.
Dropping the drying cloth, she grabbed the long nightshirt she'd worn to bed the night before, slipped it over her head and wondered if her face would ever stop burning. She glanced toward the sink where their clothes still sat in soapy water and shook her head. Not only had she stood in front of Noah with nothing more than a thin strip of cloth wrapped around her body, she would now have to walk back into the other room in nothing but his nightshirt. Her face burned hotter. "Oh, God, how humiliating."
Turning and seeing the blanket she'd hung over the doorway, she reached for it, tugging it loose, then draped it around her shoulders, wrapping it around her body until nothing could be seen but her head and her toes. When she stepped into the main room, the tension in the air was still thick, Sophie Ann's sniffles and the ticking of the clock the only sounds to be heard.
Crossing the room and stopping behind Noah, Keri inhaled a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "There's nothing I can say to make what Sophie Ann did all right, Mr. Lloyd, but for what it’s worth, I truly am sorry."
He never turned to acknowledge her, just kept staring down at the loose pages in his hand. Keri fought back tears, blinking them away as she crossed the room and ducked behind the blanket with Aaron and Sophie Ann. They lunged for her the moment they saw her and as she sank into the bed, she let those tears she'd been fighting slide down her cheeks. Their safe haven from the winter storm was as good as gone now. Keri had no doubt Noah would want them out of his home and truth was, she had no desire to leave. Cantankerous as Noah Lloyd was, living under his roof was better than being alone.
* * * *
Noah sank into the rocker, exhaling a long breath, years worth of memories staring up at him through the ruined pages of his journal. He thumbed through the drawings in silence. Nearly every page held some sort of scribbling on them.
He came to the drawing of Isabelle, his heart clenching as he took in the lines of her face. The impish smile she'd always given him. At one time, that smile had been enough to brighten his day. Now, it just reminded him of everything he'd lost.
The girl’s clumsy pencil marks slashed across the page, right over Isabelle's face. Noah stared at it, anger once again filling him until he couldn't breathe past it. He could still hear the girl whimpering behind the blankets, the woman's soft voice lulling her with words he couldn't make out. He closed his eyes, seeing the entire incident replay in his mind's eye and knew he'd overreacted. He should have never yelled the way he had. Nor touched the girl. He wasn't even sure why he did. The drawings weren't valuable. They meant nothing to anyone but him but seeing them scattered across the floor as if they were rubbish….
He sighed, leaned his head back, and wished he could start the whole day over. The whole week. He wouldn't have chased down that smoke he'd seen through the trees. He wouldn’t have encountered the woman and her kids huddling around a pitiful excuse for a fire. Wouldn't have felt compelled to take them in when the snow fell faster than even he expected. They weren't his responsibility. They meant nothing to him. He should have just left them alone.
And they would be dead out in the shack if you had.
Scrubbing a gloved hand across his face, he blew out a breath and thumbed through the drawings again, stopping when he ran across the one he'd drawn while sitting near the creek watching the water trickle down the stream. A few stick figures were drawn near the bottom of the page. His chest ached seeing them. He remembered another drawing with those tiny stick figures buried in his memories. Judith, his sister, had done much the same. The pang of regret the memory produced stole his breath. As Judith had done all those years ago, he realized the Hilam girl had innocently been drawing. He couldn't chastise her for that. Besides, what else was the girl to do cooped up in the cabin all day?
Stuffing the drawings back into the journal, he stood and placed it on the fireplace mantel out of reach. He collected the pencils, placed them back in the box, and sat them on top of the journal.
The blankets around the bed moved and the woman stepped out from behind them. She was wrapped in a blanket, but the moment he saw her, in his mind, the blanket was replaced by that tiny drying cloth she'd been standing in earlier. His heart gave a thump, his blood rushing through his body to end up in his groin and the vision of her practically naked filled his mind's eye. That cloth she'd dried with had barely covered her breasts and fell to just below her bottom. Her legs seemed miles long, shapely, if not a little skinny, but good Lord, he hadn't seen that much soft woman flesh in years.
Her hair hung in soft ringlets, he noticed. It was blond and now that it was clean and falling around her face, he had to take back his earlier assessment of her. Keri Hilam may be a bony thing but there was an innocent sort of beauty to her. She looked soft, feminine, vulnerable.
She glanced around the room before meeting his gaze again, her cheeks turning pink. She opened her mouth as if to say something but closed it without a word. She looked uncomfortable and if truth be known, now that his body responded to her from nothing more than a glimpse of her, he was too.
&n
bsp; He looked away and walked back to the door, grabbed his coat and hat, slipping them on before turning back to face her. "What time will supper be ready?"
She blinked at him, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she said, "Six."
Noah nodded, turned, and left the house. Once inside the barn, he sat on a bale of hay, stared at the animals, and wondered what the hell he'd do for the next three hours. Sitting inside the house would be too uncomfortable, especially seeing how Keri was dressed in his thin nightshirt. Not to mention, every time he thought of her he saw her standing in nothing but that small drying cloth. His body hardened the moment he thought of it, thoughts of touching, and tasting, all that soft creamy flesh she'd exposed to him consuming him. He closed his eyes, envisioned her in front of his fireplace, dropping that little cloth and beckoning him forward with the crook of one bent finger. And him crossing the room so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.
He sighed and opened his eyes. "Put her out of your mind," he whispered, his words fading behind the gusts of wind whistling around the edge of the barn. The snow was still falling and to Noah's estimation, it couldn't melt fast enough. The sooner he got those three out of his house, the better off he'd be.
Chapter Eight
It took nearly a week for the snow to melt enough to travel. Noah hitched his horse to the wagon, made sure those kids were bundled in blankets, along with Keri, and started the long trek into town.
No one said a word as they jostled along the road and Noah was glad for it. The strain of the last week was finally starting to lift the closer to town they got. The silence he'd had to endure, and the long, cold days of hiding out in the barn, would be nothing but an unpleasant memory in a matter of hours. Once he deposited Keri Hilam and her kids into the marshal's care, things would go back to normal. He'd feed his animals, create more sketches from long ago memories, and wait for bedtime.
Willow Creek Christmas Page 5