Aaron walked into the stall and nodded his head toward the cow. "Want me to milk her?"
It was the same thing he'd asked the first time he'd followed him into the barn. The expectant look on Aaron's face was what made Noah stand up. The smile the kid shot him took him by surprise. "I've never seen anyone so eager to milk a cow."
Aaron sat on the stool and got straight to work. Noah raised an eyebrow at him. He hadn't been lying that first day when he said he could help out.
Noah stepped out of the stall, folding his arms over the rail, and looked back in. Aaron's arms worked, one then the other, his gaze focused and intense. He looked much too serious for such a menial job.
"This cow seems less ornery than the one we had. Ethel," the kid said, glancing up at him, "that was our cow's name, she used to try and step on me when I milked her. Sophie Ann would talk to her just so she wouldn't pay no attention to me." Aaron tilted his head to see him, an inquisitive look on his face. "This cow got a name?"
"No."
Aaron shook his head. "Sophie Ann will name her. She names every critter she comes across. She named every one of our piglets and chickens and there was a whole mess of 'em."
Noah readjusted his hat. "Sounds like you had a pretty good size farm."
"I guess we did. We had a few goats and pigs, two horses, the chickens and Ethel." Aaron paused, then frowned. "Well, we had a lot of animals until Uncle Robert got there. He sold the ones he didn't butcher."
At the mention of the man's name, questions by the dozens popped into Noah's head. None of them were any of his business, but he knew he'd drive himself insane if he didn't know why they'd left home, alone, to try and walk through four territories to find a relative they didn't even know was still alive. "Sophie Ann mentioned your uncle Robert was mean. Is that why you left?"
"Partly, I think." Aaron shifted on the stool. "Ma never said outright why we was leaving but with the way Uncle Robert yelled at me and Sophie Ann, I figure that's why she wanted to leave. He didn't like us to talk too much and he'd yell at Ma when she tried to calm him down." He stilled, a frown covering his face. "He used to hit her sometimes."
"Who?" Noah asked. "Sophie Ann?"
"No, my ma." Aaron looked up, fire dancing in his eyes, the frown now gone. "The first time I saw Uncle Robert hit her, I got so scared I ran half way to the Johnson place before I remembered I'd left Sophie Ann behind. When I got back home, Sophie and my ma were crying." He shook his head, his jaw clamping tight. "Ma's mouth was bleeding and one whole side of her face was red. I ain't never wanted to kill nobody until I saw that." He met Noah's gaze. "Do you think they'd lock a little kid up for killing a man?"
Would they? Hell if he knew. "Hard to say," he told him. "I guess it would depend on what a kid killed a man for."
"I had lots of reasons to kill Uncle Robert by the time we left." He pulled the bucket out from under the cow, setting it aside before standing. "When he found out my pa died, he just walked in our house like it was his to take and started bossing us around." Aaron's face turned blistering red, his eyes downcast. "He treated my ma like she was his wife too, even though she wasn't."
Noah stared at him, knowing by that scarlet blush on his face exactly what it was he wasn't saying. Dear ole' Uncle Robert had invited himself into Keri's bed. His heart thumped inside his chest. Had Robert forced himself on her? Or had she accepted him?
Aaron picked up the milk bucket and walked to the stall door with it, sloshing milk over the sides. Noah reached for it, setting it aside before he spilled all of it. He pulled the stall door shut and secured it, then stepped over to his horse.
He tended the rest of the animals, Aaron's voice following him around the dimly lit barn as he told him more about their life on a distant farm. John Hilam had been older than their mother. Streaks of gray had been in his hair according to the boy, which led Noah to believe he was much older than Keri. He finished with the horse, secured the stall door and listened to Aaron talk until he was sure the sun would go down before the kid lost steam. Apparently when he got going, he didn't know when to shut up. Everything he said seemed to bleed together until he heard Aaron mention the war. Everything in him froze and his body tensed.
"Was you in the war?" Aaron asked.
Noah couldn't find his voice and nodded his head instead.
Aaron sighed. "So was my pa. He used to tell me about it sometimes but my ma would always give him funny looks when his stories got too bloody." He looked up. "Is that where you got that scar on your face?" he asked. "From the war?"
Memories assaulted him so fast, his chest tightened. His vision dimmed until he saw nothing but black… then vibrant red. He could smell the smoke, the stench of burning flesh and hair, and felt the panic that usually came with the memories overwhelming him an instant before Aaron grabbed his hand, the gentle touch shocking him so badly, his body jolted.
"You all right?" Aaron asked. "You look a bit funny."
Noah swallowed the panic, taking deep breaths as his head cleared. He nodded once and turned on his heel, grabbed the chicken feed and bolted out into the cold air as fast as his feet would carry him.
* * * *
Keri saw the package Noah had given her the night before the moment she stood and reached for her dingy dress. She'd placed the paper wrapped parcel on the chest at the foot of the bed and had forgotten all about it.
She reached for it and untied the string holding it together and sucked in a soft breath when she saw what was inside. Three calico dresses in soft, pale colors lay beneath that brown paper, along with several pairs of socks, stockings, a new chemise and underwear. Heat blazed against her face as she stared at the undergarments. Had Noah picked them out? Surely not.
She picked up the chemise, ran a finger over the pink silk ribbon that held the front together, then grabbed the underwear. There was lace around the bottom of the legs, the material so white it reminded her of freshly fallen snow. The lace looked expensive and she'd never owned anything so fine in all her life. She'd seen fancy undergarments like these before but couldn't figure out why one would need such embellishments. Underwear only served one purpose and having fancy lace edging and pink drawstrings seemed like a bit of a waste.
Unless they weren't just for practicality. Were fancy drawers like these made to entice men instead?
Heat blazed across her face at the thought and she couldn't stop imagining Noah picking out her undergarments with the intentions of seeing her in them. Of him touching them. The heat in her face increased. How would she ever manage to look at him and not be reminded that he'd bought her underwear. Fancy, lace trimmed underwear with dainty pink ribbons and bows.
Her nervous laughter filled the cabin and she smothered it before she woke Sophie Ann. Removing her nightdress, she put the bloomers on, slid the chemise over her head and tied the ribbon, then stared at each of the dresses. They weren't fancy. Simple work dresses, really, but the fabrics were as pretty as any she'd ever seen.
The brown dress dotted with small pink flowers drew her eye first, followed by the pink flowers on a white background, then the blue and red. She grabbed the brown dress, slipped it on, then turned to the mirror on the wall and tried to see what she looked like. The mirror was too small to see much but it was enough. She smiled, then made a face when she saw her hair. The curls that hadn't been a problem when her hair had been long were now a riot of tight ringlets about her head. She tucked what she could behind her ears, pulled on the curls in hopes they would settle a bit and blew out a breath when she realized it was useless.
She grabbed the other two dresses and hung them on one of the numerous pegs along the wall and turned back to grab the socks. Another small wrapped package was lying underneath them. She unwrapped it, her eyes widening as she saw the soap. The bar was pink, the writing on the white label wrapped around it in a language she couldn't read. The scent of flowers filled the air in front of her. She lifted the soap to her face and inhaled the aroma deeply, imagining what i
t would feel like to bathe in that soap, for the scent to linger on her skin all day.
Laying everything aside, she stepped out from behind the blankets, smoothing a hand down the front of her new dress and headed to the kitchen. Aaron wasn't in the cabin and her pulse leaped. Had he left after she'd gone to sleep? Rushing to the door, she stepped outside, searching the yard and saw the barn door swing open, then closed. She ran toward the building but stopped when she reached the door. She could hear Aaron talking. "Thank God," she whispered, her hand going to her chest. She listened for several minutes before heading back to the house and started on breakfast.
The heat inside that small kitchen would have been unbearable in summer. The stove took up most of the room, the cabinet not nearly long enough, but she managed to get everything going at once. Sophie Ann startled her when she tugged on her skirt and Keri smiled when she saw her tiny face. "Did you sleep well, love?"
Sophie Ann yawned, her jaw popping. "Yeah."
Keri noticed she was still carrying the drawing Noah had given her after supper the night before. A horse with a rider who looked suspiciously like Sophie. "You're going to ruin that picture if you keep carrying it around."
"I'll be careful," she said, staring down at it. "Noah said he'd make me another one today." She looked up and smiled. "I wonder if he can draw kittens."
Keri had a hard time imagining Noah with something so delicate as kittens. He seemed too harsh for such a frail thing. But, appearances could be deceiving. She'd thought Robert to be a gentleman once too and look how that turned out. She shuddered and glanced back down at Sophie. "Run out and tell Aaron and Mr. Lloyd that breakfast is ready."
When she came back inside, panting for breath, her cheeks pink from the cold, Keri fixed two plates and settled Sophie near the fire, setting Aaron's plate beside her for when he came in. He bolted through the door a moment later and ran to the kitchen. Keri followed him and raised an eyebrow when she saw him washing up without having to be told.
Aaron and Sophie Ann were already eating by the time Noah came inside. Keri heard him enter the kitchen, the scrape of his chair across the floor screeching, and her stomach did a little flip. Nervous butterflies dipped and swam and her neck and face burned the moment she thought of the underwear she was wearing. Lacy underwear he'd bought for her. She hoped her cheeks weren't as red as they felt. She quickly set Noah's plate in front of him, and turned to fill her own.
She lingered with her back to him so long, she knew he had to be wondering what she was doing. She could hear his fork scraping against his plate and she closed her eyes, told herself to stop being such a girl, and faced him, her gaze focused on her plate as she started toward the table. She paused when he glanced up at her, his eyes giving a fast sweep of her form from head to toe before he looked back down.
The empty chair caught her attention and for the second time since he'd found them in that line shack, she wondered if he'd want her company. The new clothes he'd bought her could mean any number of things and she wasn't about to examine any of them now but, the fact he'd gone to the trouble gave her courage enough to ask. "Would you mind if I sat at the table with you?"
He looked up as if startled and she wished she'd never spoke. If he said no, she'd never be able to get rid of her damning blush. To her surprise, he said, "I don't mind."
Keri flashed him a quick smile and sat down.
Chapter Thirteen
There it was again, Noah thought, a smile just for him. His insides were shaking like some schoolboy with his first crush by the time she'd settled. He was disgusted at the mere thought of such girlie notions as butterflies fluttering in his stomach all because she smiled at him. He was a grown man, being nervous around a woman was ridiculous.
Of course, he hadn't spent more than a few moments talking to a woman in so damn long, it was little wonder Keri made him feel like he was about to jump out of his skin. It also didn't help that she kept flashing those shy smiles his way. It made him think things he shouldn't. Things that weren't possible. Not now, at least. Not with the way he looked.
He'd been ignoring the small shaving mirror hanging on the wall for years. The loathing he felt when he saw himself sucked what little soul he had left out. He noticed nothing when looking at his reflection other than that scar and he knew that was all anyone else saw, too. It was why people turned their heads when they saw him. Why children stared. That damn scar was why he didn't bother shaving. His beard hid most of that jagged line etched across his face and his hair seemed to cover the rest. He probably looked a sight, though. He hadn't been able to get a comb through his hair in ages.
Keri cleared her throat, her soft voice drawing his gaze to her. "Thank you for the drawing," she said. "The one you drew for Sophie Ann. She's carried it around with her all morning." She looked down at her plate, a small frown covering her face. "And I'm sorry she ruined the others." She met his gaze again. "I truly am."
Noah looked away. "It's done now. I can redraw them if I wish." Long minutes passed, both of them eating in silence until Keri asked him how long he'd been drawing. "Since I was a boy."
"They're quite beautiful. I've seen sketches like yours before but I've never known anyone who could actually draw them."
The compliment felt so foreign he wasn't sure how to respond to it. The way she looked at him left him lightheaded as well. Her gaze was intent, as if she cared about what he said. He lifted his mug, downed half the coffee she'd poured into it and shifted in his seat. When she started eating again, he peeked up at her.
Her blond curls looked a bit wild this morning, the light coming from the small window in the room shining off the strands. He could only imagine what her hair had looked like tumbling down her back, a glossy veil of spun gold falling to her hips. His fingers twitched to touch it. To see if it was as soft as it looked.
He glanced at his gloved hands and held back a sigh. He'd never be able to feel it anyway. He hadn't removed the gloves since they'd arrived and he didn't plan on it. He'd taken them off in the barn when he was alone, flexing his fingers, stretching them and feeling the texture of things before slipping the leather back on, but he'd never let them see.
Putting the thought out of his mind, he finished eating and refilled his coffee mug. He watched Keri as she took small bites of her eggs, his gaze sliding over the dress Mrs. Jenkins had picked out for her. It fit perfectly, the fabric just snug enough to draw his eye to her breasts. They weren't overly large but he was sure they'd fill his palm. The old dress she'd been wearing when he found them had been big and baggy and hid her figure. This dress hugged the curve of her hips, showed him how small her waist was. She was still too thin but far from unappealing.
When the Avery women mentioned having extra clothing for Aaron and Sophie, he knew Keri would need a few things too. That dress she'd been wearing was so threadbare, he was surprised it hadn't fallen apart after she washed it, so he'd headed to the mercantile when the women went off to gather things for the kids. He'd been clueless as to what a woman needed though, and the shopkeeper had taken on the painful task of picking things out for him upon Morgan's request for her to do so. The marshal's little white lie of him marrying a widow in Missoula had earned him a curious look from Mrs. Jenkins before she reluctantly nodded to Morgan and started gathering everything for Keri he'd asked for.
Thanking her for her trouble had been useless. Mrs. Jenkins either didn't hear him or ignored him outright. He'd bet money on her ignoring him but didn't dwell on it. He'd made a business out of ignoring others, it was only fair they repaid him in kind.
When Mrs. Jenkins' set everything on the counter and started totaling it all up, he spotted scented soap in a basket on the counter. The label said it came from France. He had no idea if it really did but the scent had caught his attention. It was just the sort of thing a woman would want. Why he cared he couldn't say, but he'd bought it anyway, slipping the pink bar onto the pile of clothes. It had been an impulsive move. He still wasn't sure why
he'd done it.
Keri laid her fork down and glanced up at him, her cheeks turning pink. He realized he'd been staring at her and averted his gaze, taking another drink from his mug. When she did the same, he cleared his throat. "What happened to your hair?"
She reached up, pushing the strands behind her ear. "I sold it." When her eyes met his, he knew how much she'd hated doing it. It was there on her face, etched in bleak sadness. "We ran out of food," she said. “At the time, I hated the thought of stealing and I had nothing else of value. When I saw a sign in the window of a millinery that said they bought hair, I walked in and asked what they'd give me for mine." She smiled. "Apparently unruly ringlets are in high demand. The money was enough to buy quite a bit of provisions but it didn't last forever."
"You started stealing what you needed then." It wasn't a question and she knew it wasn't.
"I had to feed my children." Her voice was pitched so low Noah barely heard her. The despair on her face was obvious, though. Judging by the condition they were in when he found them, she hadn't been a very adapt thief. The three of them looked like skin and bones that first day. Not so much now. Their hollow cheeks had filled out. The dark circles under their eyes had lightened and the pallor of their skin was beginning to look healthy again.
She stood and started to clear away the dishes and he sat there watching her, drinking in the sight of her as if he'd never seen another woman. Never one in his kitchen, that's for sure. When she caught his eye, she stopped. "What?"
"Why did you leave home?"
The color leached from her face so quickly, Noah feared she'd pass out. Her eyes looked a bit too wide as she turned her back to him, her hands now shaking as she reached for the remaining dirty dishes. He stood, waited for her to answer, but knew she wasn't going to say anything when she shook her head.
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