"You need to stop talking." He laughs aloud. "Seriously, your voice is ridiculously hot when you say things like that."
"Things like what?" I clench myself around the thick root drawing out a loud, slow moan from deep within him.
"Fuck, please." His hands leap to my thighs. "You're so vocal when I'm fucking you. I love it."
"You love when I say how much I like your cock inside of me." I push back so I can trace my index finger over my clit. "You want to hear me tell you how wet I get when I know you're going to fuck me."
He stares at my hand, watching me trace lazy circles over my own desire. "I want to watch you get yourself off. I want to watch you finger your beautiful cunt."
I moan from the pure shameless of his words. "You want me to do that now?"
He pushes me back slightly. A small rush of air escapes him as his cock slides out of my body.
"Ben, no," I whimper. "I want it inside of me."
"Touch yourself," he commands as his large hand circles his cock. "Touch it and show me."
I lean back and pull my right hand through my folds. I stare at his cock, my body still feeling bereft from the loss of its thickness and length. I moan from the sight of his hand around it, stroking it slowly.
"You're so beautiful, Kayla," he growls the words. "You're so fucking beautiful."
I lean back farther and close my eyes, losing myself in not only the feeling of the approaching orgasm but the sound of his deep, sweet voice. "I'm close," I whisper into the air. "I'm so close, Ben."
"Let me see you come." His hand covers my own. "Open your eyes. I love your eyes."
I look at him under the cast of heavy lids. I call out his name as I dive into the depth of my desire.
"Fuck," he says softly. "God. You're so amazing."
I rest my hands on his muscular chest as I come down from the high. My hair is a matted mess on my shoulders. The mist of perspiration he's pulled from me resting against my skin.
"I need you." His voice is low and deep as he pulls me closer to him and in one easy movement flips us over.
He enters me swiftly and hard. I cry out from the bite of flashing pain. He's so deep. I'm so tender from coming already but my hips don’t betray my body's lustful need for him. I push my feet into the bed and push up to match his every stroke as he takes my body again.
"Fuck, fuck, Kayla, fuck," he spits out the words in a quick progression as his body rushes towards its own release.
***
"I have to go to the hospital." He buttons up the same wrinkled shirt he's been wearing since I first saw him outside his building yesterday afternoon.
"Which one?" I look at his reflection in the mirror behind me. I'm just freshly showered. The invitation I'd offered him to join me had been interrupted by his phone. He answered it quickly, speaking in Spanish.
"The one I work at during the day." He leans forward to kiss my shoulder. "I have a split shift there today."
"You haven't slept, Ben." I turn around to kiss his mouth. "You can't do this to yourself."
"I'm very good at functioning with little sleep." His eyes wander over my nude body. "You have to agree."
I blush from the reminder of what we just did in my bed. It's not out of embarrassment. I love sharing my body with him. It's out of desire. I've never come more than once when I've been with a man before. Ben can draw more pleasure from my body in thirty minutes than I knew was even possible.
"I still owe you an entire day in my bed." He takes the towel I'm holding from me and carefully blots it against my hair. "We can plan that when you have a day off."
I sigh at the gentle reminder that I have an actual job I need to get to. "I wish I could change jobs."
"You can." He reaches to pick up my hairbrush from the counter. "You don't like your job?"
"It's so boring," I giggle at the understatement. I've been close to falling asleep most days lately. Vivian's incessant need to get me to take care of her personal tasks has resulted in my organizing her family pictures onto flash drives. It may be interesting if every person she's related do didn't bear an overwhelming resemblance to her.
He carefully runs the brush through my hair, stopping whenever he reaches a knot. "Why don't you look for something else?"
"They'll pay for my master's degree," I begin. "I mean they'll cover part of my tuition which would be a big help."
"I can pay for that." He doesn’t hesitate as he makes the offer.
"No." I stall his hand with my own. "I won't take money from you."
"You can work it off." He wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Or it can be a loan if you want."
I don't want to ever be financially dependent on a man. I was that way when I first moved back to Boston to live with Parker. I'd actually taken a job at Star Bistro then, a college coffee shop, so I could make enough money to buy my own things. That was one of the reasons I still hoped to get the damage deposit from the old apartment back at some point. My savings account balance was nothing to celebrate.
"I'll figure it out." I smile tenderly at him in the mirror. He really is the most generous person I've ever met. Watching him hand his credit card to the woman at the hospital last night had only punctuated that fact in my mind. It goes beyond money though. His desperate need to get to that homeless shelter to save that boy's life and his willingness to volunteer at a hospital because they are understaffed is the core of who he is.
"I know you will. You're the smartest woman I know."
Chapter 15
"We haven’t talked about the wedding much lately." Alexa breathes a sigh as she runs her manicured fingernail over the edge of the coffee cup.
I've been neglecting her since I left for Boston. She hasn't complained. In fact, she's been nothing but gracious and kind with endless text messages and phone calls asking me if there's anything she can do to help me. She also hasn't pried when it's come to my relationship with Ben. I know she's dying to know where we stand and if I'm being utterly honest with myself, I'm bursting at the seams to share things with her. "I'm sorry about that, Lex."
"You have a lot going on." She taps her hand over mine. "Tell me what's happening in your life."
I start with the boring bits about work and waiting to hear on whether I've been accepted into the master's program. I don’t delve into the details about how I'm completely unfulfilled working for Vivian. In the grand scheme of things, I have a job that pays well, offers me great benefits and allows me the opportunity to get an education I'd otherwise never be able to afford.
We pause when her phone rings. She pulls her finger over the screen and immediately starts telling Sadie everything she needs done between this very moment in time and her big day. I stare at her, watching how animated her expression is as she talks about the final alterations on her dress.
"I'm sorry, Kayla." She finally puts the phone back on the table just as I finish the last sip of my now cold coffee. "Sadie is a bundle of nerves."
"That makes two of you," I say with a grin while holding up my thumb and index finger. "If I get married one day, remind me to elope."
"If Ben is anything like Noah, he'll want a big wedding."
I don't respond. I can't because it would mean I'd be acknowledging something that I haven't even allowed myself to fantasize about. Ben and I are still testing the very shallow waters of our relationship. We haven't even gotten past everything that happened in Boston a few weeks ago. It still hurts to think about the words he said to Parker. He may have been saying them to hold onto me but my doubt hasn't completely disappeared yet.
"Has Noah spent any time with Ben?" I ask to buck us off the uncomfortable saddle she's put us in. I won't talk about anyone's marriage but Alexa's. That's a hard and fast rule I'm definitely sticking to.
"They're having lunch together today." She shrugs her left shoulder. "Noah seemed stoked about it."
"Ben didn't mention it." It stings to say the words even though it's juvenile to be hurt by something so mundane. I
hadn't mentioned that I'd be seeing Alexa to Ben either when he kissed me goodbye after spending the night at my place.
"Do you trust him?"
I wish I could say I'm surprised by the question. I'm not. Even though Lex sang all of Ben's praises after I came back from Boston, I know that she's still reserving final judgment on him. I can tell that she sees Ben as the lesser of two evils in her mind's competition of him and Parker.
"Is there a reason I shouldn’t?" I push it back on her because I don't want to lie to her. If I was forced to answer her question, I'd have to tell her that there's still a fraction of doubt within my heart.
"I don't know of any reason you shouldn't trust Ben." She tips her chin in my direction as she throws me a wink. "I'm taking cues from Noah anyways."
"What does that mean?"
"You know he thinks of you as a younger sister, right?"
"He said that to you?" My voice rises as I ask the question.
She raises both brows. "Noah wants only the best for you. He told me you're his favorite."
"His favorite what?" I ask tentatively. I'm almost afraid of what the answer will be.
"You're his favorite of my friends."
"You mean he likes me more than he likes Sadie?" I raise my hand. "One point for Kayla. Finally."
"Don't tell Sadie."
"Why? Because she'll fall to pieces?" I smirk. "I'll keep it quiet. It's our little secret."
"I'm being serious." She runs her finger along the edge of her cell phone's case. "He went to so much trouble to make sure you weren't making a mistake."
I'm lost. If she's referring to the infrequent meetings I had with Noah to discuss Ben, that doesn't seem like that much trouble to me. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"That file of stuff, he has." She pulls her index finger and thumb apart about an inch. "That file is huge. It didn't come cheap."
I scratch the back of my head. "What are you talking about?"
"The private investigator," she whispers the words so softly I wonder if she thinks we're being watched by one right now. "That man he hired to get the goods on Ben."
"Get the goods?" Apparently hiring a private investigator constitutes the need to use their distinctive lingo. "What?"
"Shit." She scrolls her finger over her phone. "I should call Noah. Shit."
"Lex." I reach across the table to pull her phone from her grasp. "You've already said a lot. Please just tell me what the hell is going on."
Her eyes scan my face. "Noah was worried about you. He wasn't sure of Ben."
It's a start but none of this is news to me at all. "What did he do? He hired a private investigator?"
"The guy did an extensive background check on Ben. There's financials in there, employment stuff, everything."
It's intrusive. "Why would he do that?"
"It was for you." She points her index finger at my hand. "He did it to make sure Ben was good enough for you."
Chapter 16
There's that saying about being stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's never made any sense to me until this moment. Let's say that Noah is the rock and Ben is the hard place. I'm staring into his face right now and the good part of me wants to tell him that Noah has his entire life summarized in a reasonably thick manila folder. The other part of me, that's the part that wants things to stay the way they are right now, is telling me that there's no harm in it. Noah is just taking care of me, which is touching in a way that would be sentimental if it wasn't so inappropriate.
"Spit it out, Kayla." He runs his lips across my forehead.
"I swallowed it all after you came," I say into his chest.
I feel the laugher roll through his strong frame. He pulls me even closer. "You're everything I'm ever going to need in my life."
"I saw Alexa yesterday." I'm siding on the hard place. "We talked about you."
"I saw Noah," he whispers the words into my hair. "We talked about you."
I know. I need to bite the curiosity I'm feeling in the ass and not ask what they were discussing. I have to. I need to just tell Ben that Noah investigated him. He deserves to know that his brother knows everything about him. I'd want to know if someone pulled up that much sensitive information on me.
"What did you say about me?"
Who am I kidding? I'm not going to be able to think straight until I find out what they talked about.
"Noah told me you're a good friend to him," he says without any reservation. "He told me he likes hanging out with you."
"He told me that too," I offer back. That resulted in a net gain of exactly zero. "Is that all he said?"
"Why?" I can hear the amusement in his voice. "Maybe we talked about private things."
I lurch up off his chest so I'm facing him directly. I arch a brow. "Private things?" I try not to crack a wide grin. "You two weren't even on speaking terms a few weeks ago. I highly doubt you talk about private things."
"We're brothers." He traces his finger along my brow. "Actually, we're twins. We share a lot of private things."
He's not smiling. This has moved effortlessly from teasing into something more serious. "How are things between you two?"
"New." He darts his tongue over his bottom lip. "We're still working on figuring things out but no one was punched during lunch so we're off to a good start."
Ben and I have never discussed what happened in Noah's hospital room the night he was stabbed. He knows that I know. He has to know that Noah shared a great deal about their broken connection with me during all the time we spent together. "Do you feel good about things between you?"
"I feel really good about things between my brother and me."
It's there again. I don't think about it as much as I did when it was fresh and pressing against every part of my heart. It's the last bit of doubt that has held onto me and now is the point in time when I can finally let it go. "You're not going to leave me now that you and Noah are working on things, are you?"
His breathing stops as his hands reach to cup my cheeks. "I will never leave you. There is nothing in this world that can take you away from me. If you didn't want me anymore, you have to be the one doing the breaking up. I'm here to stay."
"I don't want that," I whisper into his mouth. "I want you to stay."
***
"If I told you I love you would you say it back to me?" He's standing in the doorway, his hands resting above his head against the wooden doorframe. I can see the outline of his muscular frame. He's shirtless. He's only wearing sweat pants and nothing else.
I pull my hand to cover my mouth. "Not yet. I need to tell you something first."
He doesn't move from where he's standing. I can't make out his face. The room is too dark. "What is it, Kayla?"
"Come closer." I pat my hand against the mattress. I'd fallen asleep in his arms after we'd talked. It's hours later now and the ringing of his cell phone had woken us both. "Is everything okay? I heard your phone ringing."
"It was Peter's mother." He lowers himself next to me, bending his knee so he's facing me directly. "He's running a very low fever. It's nothing. I told her to keep him in bed and well hydrated. I'll drop by their house early tomorrow morning with another round of antibiotics. I told her to call me if he gets worse before then."
"Do you do that a lot?" It's something I've wanted to ask about since I watched him hand his credit card over to pay for Peter's surgery.
He doesn’t make eye contact with me. "Do I do what a lot?"
"Pay for people's surgeries and medicine?"
"I do it when I need to." He slides his eyes over my face. "I take people from the shelter to that hospital sometimes. I usually talk to an administrator named Melody. I volunteer there and she gives me a break on the cost of things."
"You're really generous." I reach to touch his hand. "I've never known anyone as generous as you."
"My mother was really generous." He smiles at me. "She'd give anything to any person who needed it. She taught me that life is abo
ut giving."
"Noah missed that lesson," I tease.
"Noah gives in his own way," he counters. "He's been through a lot in his life. He's had a lot to deal with."
There are the generous parts of him shining through again. "You see the best in him."
"When we were five," he begins before he scoops my hand into his. "On our fifth birthday our parents gave us bicycles."
I smile at the thought of Ben and Noah as children. I've never even seen an image of either of them as youngsters. It's a very hard picture to conjure in my mind's eyes. "Did you learn to ride them together?"
"No." He chuckles softly. "Noah got on that thing and took off. It was like he was born to ride a two wheeler. He rode circles around me."
"Competition is part of being a sibling." I've had to deal with that my entire life with my own brother. "It's not necessarily a bad thing."
"It's a really healthy thing." His tongue darts over his bottom lip. "I tried for days to get it. I couldn't keep my balance. My dad gave up trying to teach me."
We don't discuss Ron much, but I know it eats at Ben that he's never got the same approval and affection from his father that Noah has. "Are you confessing to me that you can't ride a bike?" I want to lighten the mood before I tell Ben about Noah and the private investigator. I want utter honesty in our relationship. I need it after what we've been through.
"Noah taught me." His voice cracks. "He held on to the back of my bike and tried so hard to balance it with me on it."
"That's why he's the one with all the muscles?"
"Hey." He pulls up his arm, bending it to show off his impressive bicep. "I'm ripped too."
I laugh at the playful expression on his face.
"It took months but Noah helped me learn how to balance on that bike." He squeezes my hand. "He never gave up on me."
Chapter 17
"I don't like secrets, Ben."
We're under the covers now. I can hear him breathing peacefully. His hand is moving slowly up and down my hip.
RUIN - Part Three (The RUIN Series Book 3) Page 6