by Fiona Ford
Aggie chuckled. ‘I should be fortunate to be asked at my age. Count yourself lucky, Dorothy.’
‘As an old bird, I count myself very lucky, Aggie, and thankfully Edwin does too.’
‘Oh, give over, Dot, you’re young enough to be my mother,’ Alice teased.
‘And you’re young enough to be put across the back of my knee, lady!’
As the girls giggled at the exchange, they carried on eating their fish and chips, savouring the treat.
‘So is there a reason for this unexpected weekend away?’ Alice asked.
Dot set her plate down and folded her hands in her lap. Alice was immediately concerned; she could see the worry etched across her friend’s face. ‘Well, there is something that’s troubling me about it,’ she began hesitantly. ‘He keeps mentioning how the two of us aren’t getting any younger—’
‘Romantic!’ Joy sniggered, earning herself a glare from Alice.
‘And he keeps dropping hints that we should get married,’ Dot finished, ignoring Joy’s jibe.
‘Blimey!’ Alice exclaimed. ‘I thought you were happy rubbing along as you are.’
Dot sniffed. ‘We are; well, at least I thought we were. In truth I’m not sure I want to get married again, girls. My George’ – her eyes strayed to the striped creamer that he had gifted her when they wed, which took pride of place on the kitchen dresser – ‘was my husband. I don’t think I want another.’
‘You don’t think George would think you were being disloyal, do you?’ Alice cried.
‘I don’t know,’ Dot admitted in a small voice, ‘I just know that much as I love Edwin, I don’t know if I want to marry him – not yet. Anyway,’ she went on, her voice falsely bright, ‘he ain’t even asked me yet so I’m probably worrying about nothing.’
‘And if there’s one thing I know it’s that you don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet,’ Flo said sagely.
Alice nodded. ‘It was thoughts like that I clung to when the bombs were falling in Bath. My first thought was staying alive for Arthur’s sake – imagine how terrible it would be if he had to grow up with one parent missing in action and another killed during a bombing raid.’
‘But that didn’t happen, did it?’ Dot said gently.
‘Yes, we should all be grateful for the little things we’ve got in life,’ Rose replied in a bored tone.
Alice opened her mouth to say something but, to her surprise and relief, saw Joy had laid a comforting hand on her friend’s arm. ‘Well, your experience in Bath should make us all think how short and precious life is. We should grab every opportunity with both hands, because you just never know when that chance is going to be taken away from you.’
At that the girls nodded, cheered by Joy’s sentiments, but Alice was surprised to find that her thoughts had turned to Jack and how sad it would be if she didn’t grab with both hands an opportunity to see him again.
Chapter Fifteen
First thing on Wednesday morning, Alice found herself walking through Liberty’s labyrinth of corridors towards Mr Button’s office. After a good night’s sleep and a gossip with her girls, she felt ready now to tell him about her meeting with Mrs Downing. She felt pleased she had positive news about her visit to Bath. After all, she and Mrs Downing had become firm friends by the end of the night, something which had not only surprised and delighted her, but she was sure would be good for business between Liberty’s and Jolly’s going forwards.
‘Come in,’ Mr Button called as soon as she knocked at his door.
‘Hello, sir.’ Alice smiled as she walked inside.
Mr Button returned her smile and stood up, gesturing for her to take a seat. ‘My dear, how the devil are you?’ he asked earnestly. ‘I did tell Dorothy to let you know that you didn’t have to work today if you didn’t feel up to it – you had quite a night in Bath.’
Alice nodded. ‘You could say that, sir, and yes, Dot did give me the message, thank you, but I wanted to come in today and let you know how well I got on at Jolly’s.’
‘Very good.’ Mr Button nodded, sitting down once more. ‘I’m sure it was a great success. I spoke with Madeleine Marshall, the store manager, this morning on the telephone and it seems the girls in the department thought you were wonderful. Professional and full of knowledge about the Liberty’s brand. Of course I expected nothing less, it’s why I wanted to send you, but it was nice to have it confirmed.’
Alice felt a flush of pleasure at the praise. ‘We all got along very well. Mrs Downing was kind enough to take me out dancing for the evening with some of the girls from the store. It was wonderful.’
As Alice finished speaking she looked at her store manager for encouragement, but found his face was grave. ‘Is everything all right?’ she asked cautiously.
‘I think there’s something you should know,’ Mr Button began, steepling his fingers together and leaning across the desk. ‘Saturday night wasn’t the only attack on the city. The Germans returned on Sunday night as well and wreaked more devastation.’
‘Oh my days!’ Alice exclaimed, her hands balling into fists. ‘How bad was it?’
‘Very bad.’ Mr Button shook his head in sorrow. ‘Over the two nights, the south-east of the city was all but destroyed, killing hundreds of residents in their homes.’
’I had no idea! I could see it was bad – incendiaries lit up the city like it was Christmas – but I didn’t know so much was devastated.’
‘Mrs Marshall said the damage was worse on Sunday night. The Germans came back to finish the job, doing their best to decimate the city as a whole; they failed, of course, but not without causing some serious damage. The Regina Hotel, the Assembly Rooms all flattened,’ Mr Button replied grimly. ‘I’m sure you saw in the news the British attack on Lübeck last month. It’s thought the attack on Exeter earlier in the week and now Bath is Hitler’s revenge.’
Alice’s hands flew to her mouth in shock. To think she had been whirling away the night with new friends just days earlier. A chill ran up her spine as an image of the pilot she had seen in his plane flooded her mind: the evil in his eyes lighting up his entire face like the incendiary he had no doubt dropped. How could such hate exist in the world? With this unrelenting war raging across the globe, what sort of hope was there for her son or indeed for any child born in these dreadful times?
‘Are you all right, Alice?’ Mr Button asked, his voice rich with concern. ‘You’ve gone quite pale.’
Nodding quickly, Alice took a deep breath to steady herself. ‘Fine, thank you. I’ll get back to work if I may.’
‘Yes of course,’ Mr Button said softly. ‘We can talk more later.’
With that Alice got up and walked towards the door. Only, resting her hand on the door handle, a thought suddenly entered her mind. ‘Mr Button, sir, you said you spoke to the store manager, Mrs Marshall?’
‘That’s right,’ Mr Button replied, briefly glancing up from his paperwork.
‘Was there a reason you didn’t speak to Mrs Downing?’
There was a pause then as Mr Button shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘My dear, I was rather hoping not to have to share this with you until it had been confirmed, but it seems that Mrs Downing was killed in the raids on Saturday evening. We aren’t sure but as she lives in the Kingsmead area of the city, which was badly hit, and nobody has seen her since … I’m sorry.’
A wave of nausea flooded her body. Surely not Mrs Downing? Alice gripped the brass door handle tightly, desperately trying to find the right words to say but nothing came out.
‘Alice dear, why don’t you go and have a cup of tea in the staffroom and return to the shop floor when you’re feeling more stable. I shall let Mrs Claremont know.’
‘No!’ Alice said firmly, coming to her senses. ‘No, that’s very kind of you, Mr Button, but I think it’s best I get down to the shop floor. Mrs Downing would have expected nothing less.’
‘If you’re sure,’ Mr Button said softly, admiration for his deputy f
abric manager written across his face.
‘I’m more than sure,’ Alice said determinedly. ‘Jerry won’t stop us living our lives any more than he already has.’
Despite Alice’s brave words in Mr Button’s office she found it difficult to concentrate and spent the rest of the day in a daze as she thought of nothing but Mrs Downing. She wondered if her new friend had suffered or, worse, was still alive somewhere, buried beneath a mound of rubble, every breath as painful and panicked as the last. As she served each customer she was painfully aware of Mrs Claremont’s eyes boring into her, and felt her supervisor was just waiting for her to make a mistake. Alice realised the fabric manager would know all about what had happened in Bath and thought it was telling she hadn’t reached out to offer an ounce of compassion. Alice was determined not to give Mrs Claremont the satisfaction of visibly struggling with her emotions and so plastered a smile on her face and hoped the day would soon be over.
Thankfully, Alice’s silent prayers were answered. The moment floor walker Dreary Deirdre completed the last of her evening checks, Alice bolted upstairs to the staffroom, pulled on her coat and fled. Bursting out of the back entrance on to the street, she found the evening still filled with light. She didn’t even say goodbye to Mary; all she wanted to do was get home, hold her son and never let him go.
Hurrying down Kingly Street she rounded the corner in the direction of the Tube, so lost in thought she almost didn’t hear a man calling her name.
Whipping her head around in the direction of the sound, she came face-to-face with none other than Jack Capewell.
’What are you doing here?’ Alice gasped.
‘Looking for you, actually. I didn’t want to bother you while you were working so I was waiting out front.’
Alice smiled apologetically. ‘The staff entrance is around the back. This entrance is for customers only.’
‘Ah.’ Jack rocked back and forth on his heels, seemingly wrong-footed.
At the sight of him looking so unsure, Alice’s heart went out to him. ‘What can I do for you?’ she asked kindly.
‘I just wanted to see how you were doing after the weekend, is all.’
‘Oh, that’s kind,’ she replied in a posh accent she didn’t recognise. She looked at him properly then and saw he looked as tired she felt. ‘To be honest, I’ve had better days,’ she admitted, returning to her usual South London tones.
‘Me too,’ he replied. ‘You hear about the second night of bombing?’
Alice jerked her head towards the store. ‘My boss told me. He’d got word from the manager of the store I visited.’
‘I wasn’t sure,’ Jack replied stiffly. ‘I just thought I’d see if you had heard and were OK?
‘One of the ladies I was with that night was killed,’ Alice blurted. ‘I’ve been thinking about it all day, feeling sick. We weren’t great friends or anything but I can’t stop thinking about her. I keep wondering if I could have protected her – maybe if I’d spoken to her for longer, danced with her more, if I’d walked home with her …’ As her voice trailed off, Jack stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Alice looked up into his eyes, which were filled with nothing but kindness, and felt her own hand float on top of his. The simple touch of his large, heavy palm was a salve to the pain she had been feeling all day.
‘You can’t allow your mind to go there,’ he said softly. ‘You start down that path and you’re opening yourself to nothing but torment. The Germans are to blame for this – nobody else.’
‘I know you’re right,’ she replied, a hint of wistfulness to her tone. ‘I did that when I first got news of Luke’s disappearance; it nearly sent me doolally. I can’t do it again.’
‘And nor should you. You and I know better than anyone how hard it is when you lose someone. You blame yourself, you wish you’d done things differently – cheated the outcome somehow. But it never works, Alice, you have to say goodbye and the best way of honouring those we loved and lost is to keep living our own lives – live the very best lives we can, while we can.’
As the evening sun warmed her face, Alice turned her gaze from Jack and looked up at the sky. He was right: nobody knew how long they had left on this earth; they owed it to themselves and each other to make the most of it.
‘I didn’t just come here to see if you were all right,’ Jack went on, cutting across her thoughts. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something else.’
Alice frowned as she saw a flash of hesitation pass across his features. ‘What is it?’
A cough escaped his lips as Jack seemingly tried to formulate what he wanted to say. ‘I wanted to ask if we could be friends. I know you’re married ’n’ all, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. But hell, Alice, I really like you and I think you really like me. We’ve already been through quite a bit together – what do you say?’
The hesitation had disappeared from his features and been replaced by hope. Instinctively she knew there was only one answer she could give. For some reason she was drawn to this man, and she wanted to get to know him better. In a world filled with so much pain, the idea of a friendship with someone who understood her very soul called out to her. ‘I’d like that,’ she said quietly. ‘I’d like that very much.’
Chapter Sixteen
As April turned into May, the warm spring sunshine gave everyone, including Alice, a much needed lift. Dressing herself and then Arthur, as she got ready for work one Friday morning, she felt a flush of happiness as he looked at her with his twinkling bright eyes, and smiled at her properly. This new, unprompted gesture took Alice’s breath away, as she realised that no matter what else was happening in the world, her boy was growing up just as he should be.
As she sat, the morning light flooding through the room, she felt joy flood through her. Resting her head gently against her son’s, she inhaled his sweet baby smell and felt happier and lighter somehow for the first time since the raid in Bath. Not only were things working out well at work since her visit, with Jolly’s ringing almost daily to find out about how much utility print fabric they could stock, life had also taken an unexpected turn thanks to her friendship with Jack. It had been two weeks now since he had found her outside Liberty’s and so far they had enjoyed tea in the Lyons Corner House and gone to the pictures at the Coronet. She had even gone for a dance at one of the American Army’s Red Cross clubs.
Tonight, however, Alice had asked Jack over for tea, promising to impress him with a Woolton Pie and prove that rationing didn’t mean the Brits couldn’t eat good food with a meagre allowance.
But that was all a lot later and, checking her wristwatch, she groaned inwardly as she saw she was running late. Scooping Arthur up into her arms, she planted a kiss on his chubby cheeks and tried to ignore the rising sense of guilt she always felt when she had to leave him with Dot. Instead she consoled herself with the fact that there was no choice if she wanted to provide for her boy.
Arthur had been grumbling for most of the week and, after several sleepless nights, she had a feeling he was about to start teething. Walking him down the stairs, she was ready to tell Dot just that, but jumped back in surprise at the sight of her landlady dressed in her hat and coat. Had Dot forgotten about looking after Arthur for the day?
‘Where are you going?’ she demanded, a frantic edge to her voice.
‘Work, you silly mare,’ Dot scolded, ‘where else would I be going at half past seven in the morning?’
Alarm flooded through Alice as she clutched hold of Arthur. ‘No, it’s my day for work today. I always work Fridays, you know that.’
Dot sighed as she straightened her hat. ‘Yes, but Beatrice said she wanted to change our shifts up. She told me she’d discussed it with you last week. You’re going in tomorrow morning.’
‘That’s not true! Mrs Claremont never said a word to me about changing my days. I’ve got to get into work now.’
‘Are you sure, darlin’?’ Dot eyed her carefully. ‘You’ve been ever so
busy of late. Did you forget the conversation she had with you? Beatrice was ever so detailed about it.’
‘I bet she was,’ Alice fumed. ‘Because she was making it all up. Dot, I’m late as it is.’
Dot rested her only good leather bag on the tiny table in the hallway and regarded Alice thoughtfully. ‘So you’re sure Beatrice never spoke to you?’
‘No!’ Alice felt like crying. ‘What the hell am I going to do if you’re going to work?’
There was a pause then as Dot pursed her lips and seemed to consider the situation. ‘How about I go in now and straighten things out with Beatrice and Edwin?’
‘But I can’t stay here!’ Alice was panicking. ‘I’ll get the sack.’
‘’Course you won’t,’ Dot said firmly. ‘There’s clearly been a mix-up and I’ll sort it out. Now, trust your Auntie Dot, get back inside and look after your son today. Besides, you’re making Woolton Pie tonight for all of us and lover boy – it’s just as well you’re not at work.’
Alice couldn’t miss the faintly barbed tone in Dot’s voice at the mention of Jack. Although she hadn’t come right out and condemned the relationship when Alice explained to her she had made a new friend and would be inviting him around for dinner, she could tell her landlady didn’t approve.
Before Alice could protest, Dot turned to leave, when she suddenly stopped. ‘I just want to say that with everything that’s happened in the last few weeks, it’s nice you’ve found a bit of happiness. Life’s short, Alice, you don’t need me to tell you that,’ she said gently as she opened the door. ‘I just wanted to let you know I’m only teasing. Really I’m pleased you’ve found someone who makes you smile.’
As Alice listened to the familiar click-clack of Dot’s footsteps disappearing along the pavement, she smiled. Her landlady always meant well – unlike her boss, she thought, feeling a swell of panic rise within her. Beatrice Claremont was organised, she was meticulous with the paperwork each day and although she didn’t have the natural rapport with the customers that Flo had, she did know the ins and outs of their stock levels and she didn’t make mistakes with the staffing rotas. It was a mystery how this could have happened.