by Fiona Ford
‘Unless you’re in the leather goods department,’ some bright spark called, earning himself a laugh from the crowd.
‘There is that.’ Mr Button chuckled, joining in with the long-time joke that the only reason Liberty’s was surviving was because the leather goods department had overbought before the war. ‘But you know your own departments better than we do and the Liberty family along with the board all feel that it’s you who will know what your customers want better than us behind the scenes all day. So, does anyone have anything? No pressure, I know you’ll want to go away and think about this, but perhaps there’s something that has been on your mind for a while that you would like to see implemented.’
As Mr Button drew his speech to a close, Alice glanced at Flo who gave her a nod of encouragement. Raising her hand in the air, she was astonished to find Mrs Claremont immediately snatched her hand down only to raise her own.
‘Ah yes, Mrs Claremont,’ Mr Button called over the sea of heads. ‘Do you have an idea?’
‘I do, sir, yes.’ Mrs Claremont nodded, her eyes fixed firmly on Mr Button. ‘I think we should consider holding a competition for the most inventive outfit created with Liberty’s utility fabric.’
Alice’s jaw dropped open in shock. She wanted to protest; only Mrs Claremont was still talking. ‘I thought we could encourage women to perhaps accessorise outfits with their own scarves, shoes or pins, and of course many of these items can be bought off ration such as hats, which will drive people to the store and into other departments.’
Mr Button scratched his chin thoughtfully, while Alice gazed at Flo, feeling bereft. ‘It is a good idea,’ Mr Button said eventually. ‘In fact it’s a marvellous idea. We could hold a fashion parade for all our contestants and their wonderful outfits, just as Paris couturiers did before the war!’ His voice was filled with excitement as he warmed to his theme. ‘It would allow customers to tell all their friends and people might start buying all their utility fabric here.’
‘Precisely,’ Mrs Claremont said smugly.
‘Well, bravo to you, Mrs Claremont,’ Mr Button said, giving her a round of applause and encouraging everyone else to do the same. ‘What an inspired idea. Come to my office first thing in the morning and we’ll come up with a plan for you to put into action. Mrs Milwood, Miss Rushmore, you’re very lucky to have a superior such as Mrs Claremont, you can learn a lot from her. Now, anyone else?’
As the suggestions came in thick and fast, Alice couldn’t tear her eyes from Mrs Claremont. ‘How could you do that?’ she hissed eventually.
‘Do what?’ came the innocent reply.
‘You know fine well what,’ Alice growled. ‘That was my idea.’
Mrs Claremont turned to her and paused. As Alice met her boss’s gaze she couldn’t ignore the fact that Mrs Claremont’s hands were trembling. The look of defiance she had worn just moments earlier was now replaced by something that looked a little like fear. Was Mrs Claremont regretting her action? Was she about to apologise? If so Alice ought to do the decent thing and at least make it easy for her.
‘Look, Mrs Claremont,’ Alice began evenly, ‘I’m sure you have some good ideas of your own. Let’s just talk to Mr Button about some of your suggestions too.’
But any sign of remorse disappeared. Mrs Claremont snapped, ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, Mrs Milwood, I’m afraid that both out there on the streets and inside this store it’s every woman for herself – and that idea of yours is now mine.’
Chapter Thirty-Three
When Alice got home she was so full of anger all she wanted to do was drown her sorrows in tea and whine with Dot. But of course it was Chris’s last night before he left to go back to Wales the following morning, and so she knew she would have to plaster on the very brightest of smiles for the brother-in-law she was so fond of.
After a quiet journey home Alice was delighted to find Dot balancing Arthur on her knee as she enjoyed what looked like a riotous game of twenty-one with Chris and Luke.
‘My round again,’ she said, helping herself to the coins on the table.
Alice chuckled as she joined them. ‘Oh my days! You ain’t playing cards with Dot, are you? She’ll clean you out.’
‘So I’m beginning to realise.’ Chris laughed, shuffling the pack.
Only Luke raised an eyebrow. ‘Now, now, she’ll break soon and when she does, I’ll clean up.’
‘Never in this world,’ Dot said confidently, picking up the hand Chris had dealt her and showing it to Arthur for approval. ‘What do you say? Another winner? ’Course it is.’
Leaving them to it, Alice went to make herself the cup of tea she longed for.
‘You couldn’t make me one of them, could you, love?’ Luke called. ‘Actually, forget that, can I have a beer instead?’
‘Hang on,’ she replied, walking over to the pantry. Reaching down for one of the bottles that they kept in crates, she was surprised to find there were only a handful left. She was sure that last week there had been at least two crates’ worth and she had told Luke that they would have to last a long time. Beer, like everything else, was scarce and she’d only managed to get hold of this because she’d given Wise Albert, one of the stallholders down the Lane, a couple of her old maternity dresses that no longer fitted for his wife.
Trying to disguise her displeasure, she placed a bottle down in front of each of the men.
‘Why are you looking like that?’ Luke asked.
‘Like what?’ Alice replied.
Luke gave a small shake of his head. ‘You know what.’
‘I don’t,’ Alice replied. ‘I’m just a bit tired after work, that’s all.’
‘That a dig, is it?’ Luke asked laying his cards on the table, only for Chris to tug warningly at his sleeve.
‘Come on, mate, what are you starting trouble for? Alice didn’t mean anything by it other than she’s probably dead on her feet from being stood up in the shop all day.’
Shooting his brother a menacing glare, Luke turned back to Alice. ‘And that’s my point, isn’t it, love? You’re the one out there grafting and I’m the one shirking my responsibilities, not taking care of my family.’
Opening his beer, he took a long gulp of the brown liquid, his eyes fixed on Alice. ‘Well, admit it,’ he said, setting the bottle down with a thud on the table.
Alice sighed as she glanced at Dot, who was resolutely staring at her cards. After the day she had endured she really didn’t want a row with Luke; all she wanted was a quiet night and the chance to say a decent goodbye to Chris before he disappeared to the bed and breakfast he had been staying in.
‘That’s not what I meant at all. I know you look after us, support us, that my wages would be nothing without the money you bring in from the RAF,’ Alice said, her eyes filled with what she hoped was kindness as she did her best to placate him. ‘Please, Luke, I’m sorry.’
Taking another sip of the beer, Luke’s face relented. ‘No, it’s me that should be sorry. I’m being silly. Now come here and give us a kiss.’
Walking over to her husband, Alice allowed his arms to snake around her waist and, for a moment, enjoyed the quiet along with the feeling of a row successfully avoided. Then: ‘Well, I’d better get dinner on.’
Chris was on his feet. ‘No, no, no, I insist on treating you all.’
Alice, Luke and Dot looked at him in surprise. ‘Whatever for?’ Luke asked. ‘Alice doesn’t mind – do you, Alice?’
Shaking her head, Alice smiled at her brother-in-law. ‘It’s a lovely idea, but it won’t take me long. I managed to get a bit of rabbit for us all yesterday.’
Chris held his hands up. ‘I don’t want to be a pain, Alice, truly I don’t, but the thing is I don’t like rabbit. I know you can’t be choosy when there’s a war on but I do draw the line at rabbit. I put it down to the fact we’ve too many of them at home darting about the fields. The boys have adopted one as a pet – Flopsy, they’ve called her.’
Luke roared with laughter a
s he finished his beer. ‘You’ve gone soft, lad. You always were a soppy sod.’
‘And you, older brother of mine, were always tough as old boots. Or at least you were until our family dog croaked it.’
‘I was nine!’ Luke protested. ‘Rover was my best mate.’
‘All I’m saying is if the cap fits …’ Chris shrugged, slipping his brother a wink. ‘Thing is, what I’d really like is fish and chips again. The chipper up our way’s closed down and I don’t have a clue when I might get a haddock roll again.’
‘Well, if that’s what you want.’ Alice reached for the coat she had just taken off. ‘I’ll come and give you a hand again. It’ll be like old times.’
At that they both laughed, and even Arthur joined in for good measure. ‘Don’t get fobbed off with the first batch,’ Dot warned, standing up, Arthur still in her arms. ‘They’re always shoddy; they use up the old potatoes first. Hang on for the second batch. I’ll look after this fella, Alice.’
‘Thanks. I’ve a feeling he might need changing.’
‘I don’t have a feeling, I know he does,’ Dot replied candidly. ‘He stinks.’
Alice turned and followed Chris out. ‘Want anything, Luke?’ she called as she reached the door.
He lifted his empty beer bottle. ‘Just another couple of these if you pass a pub, love? I don’t know how we’ve got through so many. Must be Chris.’
Biting down her fury, Alice merely nodded. Only as she stepped out into the warm evening air she felt so angry she couldn’t resist letting off a bit of steam with Chris.
‘What the hell is he playing at?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean the drinking,’ Alice said, storming off down the road. ‘You must have noticed.’
Hurrying to keep pace, Chris shook his head. ‘He’s all right. He’s just a bit fed up.’
‘But we can’t afford for him to drink like that,’ Alice hissed. ‘I don’t think he knows the lengths we all go to to get things round here. It doesn’t grow on trees, you know; most of it’s bartered for and we look the other way.’
She stopped suddenly and rounded on her brother-in-law. As she looked into the caramel eyes that were identical to her husband’s she found all trace of anger instantly disappeared. Instead all she felt was concern for the husband she was sure was struggling to come to terms with his new life. ‘I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Luke. He’s not himself. He wants to get back on active service, I understand that, but it’s the mood swings, Chris, I just can’t handle them.’
‘What do you mean?’ Chris asked, his voice even.
‘You must have noticed,’ Alice said as a gust of wind lifted her skirt and pressed it back against her thighs. ‘He’s not himself. One minute he’s so kind, so loving and can’t help out enough; the next thing I know, the Luke of old has been replaced by this hard, unloving stranger I just don’t recognise. I don’t know what to do any more. I don’t know how to help him.’
A flash of discomfort crossed Chris’s face. ‘I think you’re worrying too much. Just give Luke a bit of time.’
‘But how much time should I give him?’ Alice pressed urgently. ‘Has he said anything to you?’
Chris eyed her warily. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Just if there’s anything else bothering him? Come on, Chris, you’re his brother, you know him better than anyone. If he’s in trouble or needs my help I want to help him. He’s my husband; I love him.’
‘Well, maybe he doesn’t deserve your love,’ Chris muttered angrily.
Alice stared at him in shock. ‘What did you say?’
‘Nothing. Forget I spoke,’ Chris said hurriedly. He carried on walking, leaving Alice trailing behind.
‘What did you mean?’ she called again, almost running now to keep pace with him. ‘Why would you say something like that?’
‘I didn’t say anything. I was just being stupid.’
Alice felt like screaming with frustration. ‘Chris, if you know something, please just tell me. I want to help my husband.’
At that Chris stopped so suddenly Alice only just managed to stop herself crashing into the back of him. ‘Maybe you’re not the one to help him,’ he said.
‘Why are you talking in riddles? Why wouldn’t I be the one to help him? He’s hurt, injured in the line of duty, spent months locked away in some French farmhouse desperate for freedom – he needs me.’
‘No, Alice,’ Chris said, rubbing his face in despair. ‘That’s the thing. Because while I love my brother it’s killing me seeing you break your back working all the hours God sends when Luke’s not been honest with you.’
‘What do you mean?’ she gasped.
Chris lifted his chin and fixed his gaze determinedly on his sister-in-law. ‘The thing is, everything Luke told you about being shot down, recovering and being rescued by the French Resistance is true. What’s not true is why it took so long for him to get back. The fact he could have come home a lot sooner. The fact is he didn’t want to.’
‘Why?’ Alice whispered, dread pulsing through her body.
‘Because he was having an affair,’ Chris said with searing honesty. ‘He fell in love with another woman.’
As the words hung in the air, Alice thought she might be sick. How could this be true? It was impossible that Luke would betray her like that. They adored each other, had done ever since that day she had been a farthing short at the cinema.
Despite the warmth of the evening Alice felt suddenly cold. Her teeth were chattering and her arms and legs were covered in goosebumps.
‘There must have been a mistake,’ she said eventually, her voice shaking. ‘You’ve got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Luke wouldn’t do that. His family are everything to him. Besides,’ she continued, desperately clinging to the shred of hope she had left, ‘he knew I was pregnant. He would never deliberately stay away all that time without meeting his son.’ There was a silence, then: ‘Say it’s a mistake. Say you’re wrong.’
But the moment Alice looked into Chris’s eyes and saw the mix of despair, sorrow and anger, she knew that there was no mistake. Her Luke was no longer her Luke. Everything that had been done could now never be undone.
In that moment she found her heart hardening, almost instantly. She had been strung along long enough, doing all she could for her child, for her husband – her family – while Luke left her thinking he was dead, when instead he had been busy making hay while the sun shone.
‘Who is she?’ she asked, her voice flinty and unyielding.
‘Alice, what good will it do?’
‘Tell me,’ she snarled. ‘I want to know everything.’
Chris took a deep breath before he spoke. ‘Her name is Hélène. She helped rescue him. They fell in love and he was convinced he could spend the rest of his life with her out in France, helping the Resistance and overthrowing the occupation.’
‘So why didn’t he?’ she asked through gritted teeth.
‘They had a row, I believe. I’m not sure what about. I think she wanted to get married—’
‘“Married”?’ Alice echoed in disbelief.
‘I think that made him come to his senses. He realised what he had done, how worried you must be, how he was missing out on getting to know his child, and of course fighting for his own country – the country he loves. So he came home.’
‘And when did he tell you this?’ Alice asked bitterly.
‘The day I arrived,’ Chris admitted. ‘I think it was a relief to let it all out and, well, being a vicar, I think he was looking for me to forgive him. Luke’s never been good with secrets; I’m sure that’s why he’s been drinking so much, and why his moods have been so erratic. He’s a mess.’
‘Do you think he still loves her?’ Alice said fiercely, getting straight to the point.
Chris shook his head and squeezed her hands. ‘He never really did, Alice love. It’s always been you. This Hélène was just a distraction.’
The feel of Chris�
��s skin against her own was like a salve to the pain in her soul. She felt as though the bottom had been ripped out of her world and, just at that moment, the kindness in Chris’s touch was the only thing holding it all together.
Chapter Thirty-Four
It had been four days since Chris had returned home and Alice’s world had been shattered. Since his departure, there were times Alice wondered how on earth she had managed to carry on as normal. The moment her brother-in-law dropped his bombshell she had begun to look at Luke with fresh eyes. It was as though he were a stranger. The man she had married would never have dreamed of having an affair, much less a relationship so strong that he would pretend to be missing in action while his wife delivered their child alone.
It wasn’t just the betrayal, Alice reminded herself. It was the way he had thought so little of her and the family they were bringing into the world. The selfishness he had shown beggared belief and there were times Alice would find herself thinking she must have dreamed the whole thing: the reality was just too ridiculous.
Yet no matter how rotten she felt about it all inside, she had no idea how to talk to Luke about it. So life carried on. He still asked her to pass the salt, or make him a cup of tea. And of course he continued to refuse to look after Arthur one day, then the next tell her she was the most gorgeous woman in the world and he was the luckiest man alive.
The truth was Alice had become rather numb to it all. She knew she ought to be screaming, shouting, even hurling plates at Luke for his betrayal, but she didn’t feel anything. For months, while he had been missing, she had lain awake at night, Arthur snoring soundly beside her, fretting that he was dead. Now in a funny way Luke did feel dead to her and she had no idea what to do or what to say. They were married, they had taken vows, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health – she couldn’t just walk away. If truth were told she wasn’t sure she wanted to. How would she manage without him? Could she even manage without him? For so long Luke had cared for her; even when he wasn’t by her side, it was the gentle strength in his letters that had propped her up and kept her going. Alice knew she put on a hard front, she had to and still would when pushed, it was the only way to survive, but inside she was softer than she liked to admit.