by JA Huss
I make my way to the lobby and inform the desk staff that I will be waiting in the bar until the plane is ready. There’s no bartender. It’s not even nine in the morning. But I don’t care. I’m not looking for a drink, I’m trying to hide.
And I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t sit in the main lobby, because a few minutes after I sit down Claudette and Nolan appear. There’s a quick, awkward goodbye, and then Nolan leaves.
I can’t believe how badly this all turned out. And maybe last night’s mistake is my fault, but I’m not responsible for that résumé.
Claudette talks to the desk staff, and then the girl points towards me. Claudette turns around, and I swear, even though she is all the way across the lobby, I can see her eyes squint down in anger.
Here we go.
I guess I won’t get out of here without some bruises after all, even if it’s only to my ego.
Claudette’s shoes make a tapping sound as she comes closer, but she stops just at the edge of the bar entrance. “The jet is ready, Miss Rockwell. The car to take you to the airstrip will be here momentarily. Please, wait outside.” She turns on her heel and walks away.
Banished. I’ve been banished from their resort forever.
I don’t bother trying to explain. What does it matter? My fancy weekend is over.
So I get up and drag my carry-on case behind me as I make my way through the lingering haze of Claudette’s sick perfume to the front of the lobby. There is no car outside, but I have my orders. So when the automatic doors open, I step into the unbearable summer heat.
A hot desert wind blows my hair and I catch Nolan’s scent coming off the shirt I’m wearing. It’s an old Padres t-shirt. San Diego. Very… him.
I will never tell anyone about this. Ever. I will take this humiliating experience to my grave. No one will ever know that Mr. Romantic took my virginity. I will lie to Nora when I get home and tell her nope, no job and yep, still a virgin.
Just like you lied to Nolan.
Did I lie to Nolan? It didn’t feel like a lie. But his words, they are ringing in my head. Do you have any idea how bad this looks from my point of view? It was meaningful. It was heartfelt. It was the most emotion I’ve ever seen from Mr. Romantic.
He was referring to the way that girl lied about him back in college. He must have a lot of trust issues. And who can blame him? If I had gone through that, I’d have trust issues too.
And I earned his distrust. Because he’s one hundred percent right. I did come here to lose my virginity to him. At first. But that’s not really what I was thinking when it finally happened. I just wanted… him. That’s all. I just wanted his attention. I liked the way he was flirting with me. I liked holding on to him in the pool. Wrapping myself up next to his hard, warm body.
He felt like… like a possibility. Like maybe he and I might turn into something more. Like he and I were special.
That is so stupid.
I haven’t even known him for twenty-four hours.
But… I can imagine, in a fantastical kind of way, that we made a connection. When he talked about himself I only wanted to hear more. When we were having sex, before he got rough, it was perfect. It felt good. He felt good.
A long black car pulls up, and while I was almost certain that Claudette would make me take a taxi, she didn’t. It’s for me. Not the same driver from before.
He puts my carry-on in the trunk and then we’re on our way.
I look out the back window as the tall palm trees flash by, and twenty minutes later, we’re at the airstrip.
It’s not busy here. Who is flying in and out of Borrego Springs in August? Just me.
I thank the driver and take my case.
“Miss Rockwell!” I look up at my name and spy Jerry, the flight attendant, waving at me from the top of the stairs. I wave back. “Did you have a nice stay?” he asks, once I’m in earshot.
“Yes,” I lie. “Very nice. But no job offers, unfortunately.”
“Well, it’s not over for you yet, Ivy Rockwell. I know you’re going places, so don't worry too much.”
“You’re right,” I say. “And you know, I’m really tired, so can I take you up on the offer of a bedroom during the flight?”
“Sure,” Jerry says, leading me towards the back of the jet. He pulls a panel aside to reveal a small room filled mostly with a large bed. It’s tight, but I don’t care. I keep my purse, but nothing else, and the minute he closes the door back up, I fall face-first onto the soft comforter.
And cry.
I sit up and rub my eyes. We’re still in the air, so I’m still stuck in this nightmare. I get up and grab my purse and open the door. There’s a bathroom across the hall. I know this from the last trip on the plane.
I try to close the door as quietly as I can so Jerry won’t know I’m awake, but there’s a knock as soon as I engage the lock.
I disengage and open the door to Jerry’s smiling face. Can’t put anything over on him.
“Miss Rockwell, as soon as you’re done in there I’m going to need you to take your seat and buckle in. We’ll be landing soon.”
“We will? Jesus, I must’ve slept for a long time.”
“We’ve only been in the air for about twenty minutes.”
“What? Then why are we landing?”
“We’re only going to San Diego.” He shoots me a puzzled look.
“What? No, I’m supposed to go home! To Rhode Island!”
“Mr. Delaney came by just before you did and told us to bring you to San Diego. He said you have a second interview.”
“He did?”
Jerry cocks his head and gives me a funny look. “You didn’t?”
“I… I don’t know. We had an unexpected end to our morning. Claudette—”
“Don’t say the demon’s name,” Jerry says, rolling his eyes. “I completely understand. She’s horrible, right?”
“Right?” I ask back, smiling now that I have a friend. “I hate her. She’s a liar too.”
“Don’t get me started, Miss Rockwell. But hurry now. Use the facilities and come up front so you can buckle in. We’ll be landing in a few minutes.”
I do as I’m told and quickly make my way to the front where I buckle in to a plush leather seat just as the pilot announces our final descent.
The landing is smooth and easy, and my stomach starts fluttering when I suddenly realize what’s happening.
Nolan didn’t walk out on me this morning.
He brought me here to San Diego against Claudette’s wishes to see him.
It’s all I can do to hold still as we taxi, and then I have to wait until the stairs are pushed up to the jet and the door is opened. I say a quick, “Thanks,” to Jerry and rush out.
There he is. About a hundred yards away, leaning casually on a silver Porsche with his arms folded across his chest. I don’t know what this about at all. But the only way to find out is to walk over to him.
I take a deep breath and one step at a time, I get closer. Even in his casual, grungy clothes, he is beautiful. I realize how tan his skin is in the bright morning sun. How muscular his arms are. When I get up close enough to talk without shouting, I realize he’s trying very hard not to smile.
“What are we doing?”
He shrugs and unleashes the grin, flipping his sunglasses up onto his head. “I told you, Miss Rockwell, if you let me fuck you last night I’d hire you and get your expertise this morning.”
“But Claudette—”
“Fuck Claudette. She has my best interests in mind, but she’s not my mother. I don’t answer to Claudette, or anyone else, for that matter. So if I want to have sex with you and hire you the next day, I will.”
I sigh in frustration.
“And if I want to have sex with you and then get to know you better, then I’ll do that too.”
“What?”
His smile fades. “But it was a dick move, Ivy. Not telling me you were a virgin.”
“I get it,” I say. �
�You don’t trust women, do you? Not after what happened to you in college.”
“Not much, no. But I don’t think you lied about the résumé, did you?”
“I didn’t,” I say. “I swear.”
“I think Mr. Corporate did it.”
“Why is he doing this though?”
Nolan shrugs. “He had to have seen you somewhere. And I guess he just thought I’d be interested in this.” He waves a hand down my body. “And I am, Ivy.”
“OK, wait. My turn. I actually did think… maybe… you’d take a liking to me and relieve me of my v-card while I was here. I mean, I did know I was not really qualified to get that job. But I came anyway. Because of you. I came because of you, Nolan.”
“I did make you come.” He winks. “Didn’t I?”
The laugh escapes my mouth and I have to shake my head. “Yes. Yes. You did.”
“But I was rough too, wasn’t I?”
I swallow a little and nod. I feel a lot better than I did this morning. I guess I was overreacting about the ‘never having sex again’ thing. I’m not damaged. I’m still sore, but it’s fading. I’m actually sorry it’s fading. I liked being reminded of Nolan’s cock inside me. “It was still fun. It was just a little bit scary too.” I blush like mad.
“I can do it better, Ivy. I mean—” It’s his turn to laugh. “I mean, better for a girl who needs it soft. I loved every fucking minute of last night. And I don’t know who’s running the blow job classes, but you get an A, woman. It was amazing.”
“Some porn star on PornTube was giving lessons.”
“Ah,” Nolan says, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me up to him. “You like porn? What would your father say about that?”
“He would die of embarrassment. And if he ever met you, he’d probably lock me up in the basement.”
“Well, I’m actually a nice guy, Ivy. So I’ll deal with him later.”
I can’t imagine what is going through his head right now. We’re talking about him meeting my father? “Who are you and what did you do with Nolan?”
“What?” He laughs. “I grew up in boarding school too, Ivy. I know the drill. And I’d just like you to know if I want to, I can pass inspection. But forget that for now. I’m fucking hungry and Claudette came storming in and messed up all my breakfast plans. Let’s just go eat.”
He opens the door on his Porsche and I slip inside and try to calm my racing heart as he opens the front trunk and places my carry-on inside.
When he gets in and starts the engine, the whole car rumbles. It all becomes real.
I slept with Mr. Romantic.
I am in his car, going out for breakfast in San Diego.
Yesterday morning, I was in Rhode Island. I had no job prospects, no boyfriend, and no life to speak of.
And now I’m here.
It all seems too good to be true.
Chapter Nineteen - Nolan
“Where are we going?” Ivy asks when we’ve been traveling on the freeway for about thirty minutes.
“Del Mar. Do you like the races, Ivy? The horses are running. So we’re gonna go on down there to the club and have some brunch before post time.”
“I can’t go like this,” she says, pulling on my t-shirt.
“We can stop by my house and you can change first if you like.”
“Yes,” she says quickly. “Please. I actually love horses. I’ve been riding since I was six. And I’ve been to the races before. It’s a fancy affair.”
“It doesn’t have to be. All kinds of people go to the races.”
“Not to the Club.”
I shrug. “They know me. I have a box there. I go all the time in the summer. In fact, you can see the track from my house. So if I don’t feel like going down there, I just walk out onto the master bedroom terrace and enjoy it from afar.”
“Wow, that must be some house.”
“You’re gonna see it for yourself. We’re only minutes away.”
I pull into the private Boca Del Mar neighborhood and Ivy’s eyes go big as she checks out the houses. “Holy crap,” she says. “You’re really rich. I mean, I see the Porsche and you do own that resort. And I know about the clubs. But this is something, Nolan. I’m breathless.”
“You haven’t even seen the view yet, Ivy. You know what’s funny about this house?” I ask, pulling up to my gate and activating the remote control.
“What?” Ivy asks, as we wait for the gate to open.
“I didn’t even want it.” I pull the car forward and Ivy is craning her neck to get a glimpse of the house as we weave around the lush landscaping.
“Why not?” she asks, her head tipping up as I park in front of the house. “Wow,” she breathes. “It’s huge! What’s wrong with this place?”
I get out and go around to her side, opening her door and giving her my hand to help her up from the low-profile car. “Oh, there’s nothing wrong with it. It just wasn’t my thing. But Mysterious owned it before me, and he said he needed the cash. But he didn’t want to sell it to strangers because he likes the races too much. He said he’d be by to watch them in the summers. But he never comes.”
I lead her though the glass front doors, and immediately, there is only one thing to look at.
The ocean.
Well, and the racetrack. You can’t help but notice it, since it’s directly below my house and I have a clear view of everything. The grandstands are filled with people already, even though the races don’t start for hours. The infield is all grassy and ready for the winners who will come, race by race, to be celebrated with trophies and prizes. It’s filled up with lots of people on the big race days, but that’s not today. And the tracks. One turf, one dirt.
“You know why people go broke at the track, Ivy?”
“Who goes broke?” She doesn’t even look at me. Her fingers are pressed up against the glass doors, like she’s trying to get closer to the ocean and the track. This magical place where you can hear thundering hooves and crashing waves in the same instant.
“Gamblers, owners, trainers, whoever. The track is filled with the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor, all going broke together. And you know why?”
She drags her gaze to me and says, “Why?”
“Because they’re addicted. Not to gambling. Not the way a poker player is. They’re addicted to this sport in a way that has nothing to do with money. They’re addicted to that.” I point down. “The track. The smell of the dirt and the grass. And the horses. The sleek coats and the silks of the jockeys. It’s a different world down there. A different life. And people get addicted to it.”
“Are you addicted?” Ivy asks.
“If you only go once, you’re OK. You know? But if you go back, it’s over. The life…” I slide the patio doors open and the sea breeze rushes in, blowing long wisps of hair that have escaped her ponytail as she steps outside. “It is pretty cool. I didn’t think I’d be into it when I said I’d take the house off Pax’s hands. But I really do love it. I love the sound of the races. The trumpet guy? You know, that guy who blows that horn before the race starts? I live for that in the summer now. It sucks in the winter when the seasons ends and everything quiets down. And I’ve been over there hundreds of times in the past few years. So, yeah. It got me too. But I’m not a gambler. So I’m not going broke paying for the Club or the box. And I’m not an owner. I’m rich, but truthfully, you gotta be some special kind of rich to want to throw away millions of dollars a year on this sport. It never pays out.”
Ivy is caught up in my imagery for a few seconds. And then she says, “Why did your friend have to sell it? Was he in debt?”
“Who knows,” I say. “Who knows why Mysterious does anything. He never came back to visit, the asshole.”
“What does he do? I don’t know if I can recall his face.”
“Nah, he hates being photographed. And what does he do? I’m not sure, but whatever it is, it’s not something typical. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Can’t help it,” I say with a shrug. “We got wrapped up in that shit and even though we were never that close before it all started, we got close after. But once the charges were dropped, we fell apart. Just wanted to forget, mostly. I still talk to Perfect. And I hear that Match and Mysterious both talk too. And Corporate shows up every once in a while asking if we’re hiring and need him to find anyone. But then Perfect found a girl last year and, well, he’s settling down. So we were all at a party for him a few weeks back and that’s where Corporate put me on his bachelor hit-list.”
“And you think he chose me?” Ivy points a finger at her chest. “Why?”
“You’re beautiful,” I say, tucking that blowing strand of hair behind her ear. “And smart. Even if it’s not business-school prodigy smart. You still went to Brown, right?”
Ivy laughs nervously, but nods her head. “I really did go to Brown. That’s why I knew about you guys. It’s been a while since all that happened, but it’s like an urban legend on campus for the freshmen. Some Greek Week ritual.”
“Jesus, fuck. Please tell me it’s not about gang-rape?”
“No. Nothing like that. I think it’s a team-building thing.”
“Really?” I can’t help but be interested.
“I don’t know all the details, but they break all the fraternity rushes into teams of five now. And each team has to complete the Rush Week Challenge together. They either all win, and get accepted, or they all lose, and don’t.”
“Hmm. Interesting. But enough about the past. Let’s talk food. You want to go to the club? Or…”
“Or?” She laughs. Nervously. “I have another option?”
“Well, we can see the races from here. There’s really no reason to go out. I can make you breakfast and we can eat on the terrace. And then we can talk business for a little bit. How’s that sound?”
It sounds pretty fucking fantastic to me, but Ivy hesitates.
When I got in my car and started driving off, all I kept thinking about was how I fucked her. How I was the first ever to fuck her. And she never said a word. It blew my mind. I have never had a virgin before. I’ve never had anything other than someone’s sloppy seconds.