“And”—Lanie continued in a smaller voice—“if this is the kind of thing that upsets him, you should know it now before this goes too far between you two.”
Nat knew Lanie’s history. Understood why she saw danger in every argument, or potential argument. It had come out after the tea where they’d escaped to the Rusty Hinge. Abuse. It accounted for the haunted look Lanie never quite seemed free of.
“It’s already too far.” The words escaped before she could clip them back, but were they true? Had she fallen too deep to make an exit from her marriage now?
That discussion would have to wait as she smelled his cologne before she felt his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, you.”
She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the disappointment she knew would be written all over his face. “Hey.”
He moved to the side of her chair and crouched beside her. “In college once, I went to this party with Jesse and spent a good three hours of the night running around naked, yelling for my horses, and asking every girl in the place to sharpen my sword.” He picked up her hand, brought it his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Like me less now?”
Less? He’d just come out with his own naughty secret in front of her new friends. More. She definitely liked him more. “Nope.”
“Good. Because it’s going to take a lot more than a pole dance to change my mind about you.”
Oh God. This man. That smile. Those eyes. She was in deeper than she’d realized.
* * *
NAT: Growing up like I did, I didn’t have a lot of friends and the ones I did have were guys and we didn’t talk a lot. But these women, they showed me about friendship and being there for each other.
LANIE: You made it pretty easy to be your friend.
RYHAN: Besides, everyone has secrets you don’t want spread all over town. If anyone knows that it’s me. Mine made it to YouTube.
NAT: See? Friends.
* * *
Ryhan won the charade of the night with her silent mime “cocktail” and Lanie drew the Pictionary winner with “lightsaber” although her thoughts had been innocent—she claimed—her drawing didn’t quite portray her intent. Lucia won big at poker, almost threw out her hip at video tennis, and John and Jesse each won a game of video bowling. Nat threw out guesses now and again, played a few losing hands of poker, and even managed to get her first ever strike in bowling. But how was she expected to concentrate with Jacob’s cologne tickling her nose and his hands “accidentally” brushing against her, his “innocent” kisses robbing her of the will to concentrate?
In the kitchen, nibbling on cheese crackers and mini cucumber sandwiches, she leaned back against Jacob’s chest, smiled when his arms slipped around her waist. The wine warmed her, let her forget about Keith and the horrible start to the evening, but not as much as the kisses he feathered against her neck, the thumb rubbing circles on her stomach, the slight tickle of his whiskers. God, she couldn’t wait to get home.
Lexie, who hadn’t left with her date, sidled up beside them. “So, Jacob’s wife, huh?” She looked him up and down. “I always thought he was gay.”
Jacob’s entire body tensed, and Nat clasped her hands over his. “Nope. Definitely not gay.”
“Hmm. That’s surprising considering how much he used to love playing dress up with me. He loved Lucia’s hats and high heels.” Nat wasn’t going to bother hiding her dislike, but she would deflect the words with her usual grace…erm, wit at least.
“Probably didn’t want you to feel as if you didn’t have friends. He’s a sweetheart like that, isn’t he?”
Not to be outdone, Lexie nibbled on a sandwich. “I was almost sure he preferred his dates to wear cologne rather than perfume. It was actually the first thing I thought when my dad told me he had to head all the way to the trailer park to find a woman willing to even be paid to be his wife. I guess he just needed something a little less polished little more dirty than comes from our circle to make him feel like a man.”
“Nice. Both of us with one shot.” Nat shook her head.
“That’s enough, Al.” Jacob’s voice was low, would have given Nat chills if it was aimed at her.
All innocent wide eyes, Lexie held up her hands, palms toward the ceiling. “What? There’s no shame in slumming, Jakey. We’ve all done it.”
Slumming. Not a nice word, but Nat couldn’t deny its appropriateness. Standing in this house, with the artwork worth more than she would make in her entire life, the rugs probably hand-woven and imported from Persia, the china, the real silver serving platters, the marble floors, the…hundreds of other things more rich than anything Nat had ever seen, she’d never been more out of her league. Especially with someone who belonged in this world pointing out how much she didn’t.
“Somebody took her bitch pill this morning,” Ryhan said from the doorway. “Either that or your shorts are cutting off circulation to your brain, which for as long as I can remember has been in your ass.”
“I was just congratulating Jakey on his work with the less fortunate. I admire how he’s taking one for the team by actually inviting one into his home.”
“Oh my God. What is wrong with you?” But he stepped back, putting distance between them, removing the only comfort she’d had.
Before Nat could spring to administer some trailer park justice, Lucia walked into the kitchen. Her gaze wandered from Jacob to Nat to Alexandra to Ryhan. “Well, did we move the party to the kitchen?”
“I was just saying goodbye. Don’t wait up, Granny.”
Lucia grimaced as the door slammed behind her granddaughter. “I hate when she calls me that.” When no one spoke, she dropped a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “Did I miss something?”
Nat swallowed hard and pasted on a fake smile. “No. Lexie was just telling me about playing with Jacob when they were kids.” She hated the tremble to her voice, the shake in her hands as she set her wine glass on the counter, the way Jacob had let go of her.
Lucia rolled her eyes. “I need to get that girl straightened out.”
“Big project, Lucia. You might need to call in the professionals.” Ryhan patted Nat’s shoulder.
Jacob looked up and Nat’s heart caught somewhere between her sternum and her throat. She could almost see the words rolling through his mind. Slumming. Taking one for the team. And her personal favorite, trailer park. Altogether, not a picture she wanted him considering, but the damage was done. Her head hurt, her heart ached and Jacob still hadn’t looked at her. “I think I’m going to…get some air and walk home.” Yeah. Like air would do any good.
“But we haven’t played that dictionary game yet.” Lucia frowned.
“I’m all played out, but thank you so much for inviting me.” Please, just let me go. She didn’t know how much longer she could hold back the tears, but it wouldn’t be through a whole other game.
Jacob didn’t move until Lucia nudged him with a shoulder. “I’ll drive us home.”
Nat shook her head. She had to figure things out, like how much his silence bothered her, why loving him had suddenly become apparent then as quickly became difficult, why the word slumming played in her head as if someone had pushed the repeat button. “I can walk. I would rather walk. You stay and have fun.”
He tilted his head and she closed her eyes a second longer than a normal blink. Before her second blink, he had her head tucked under his chin. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” His whisper, along with the force of the kiss against her scalp and the strength in his hug spoke of his sincerity.
She shrugged. “Truth is truth, right?”
“It isn’t the truth, Nat.” If he squeezed her any closer, she’d have to be inside his skin.
“What is going on here?” Lucia tapped Jacob on the shoulder.
“The only truth that matters is this, Nat. You and me.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t defend you, but what she said is wrong. You’re the one who deserves better than me.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss that seare
d every nerve ending she owned. “Let me take you home, hold you tonight, and tell you how grateful I am that I have you, how I will do anything to be worthy of your time.” The intensity of his plea wasn’t lessened by his whisper, and Nat shivered against him.
It would be so easy to lose herself in him, shape her life to only fit around his, and she would do it too if only the rest of the population didn’t exist. But this was the real world and there would always be a Lexie to remind her just where she belonged. It was why when the year was over, no matter how much she loved him, she would walk away, not subject him to a life of his own family looking down on him.
The thought, it’s just a year, used to comfort her. Now it caused an ache in her stomach she didn’t think would ever go away.
* * *
LUCIA: I didn’t quite know what happened then, but when Ryhan filled me in, I had a nice long chat with Alexandra. I explained that an inheritance is not a right of childhood. By the time I was finished, I think she got the idea. If not, I always have a lawyer on speed dial.
9
Nat leaned against the sink in the bathroom. They weren’t even half-way through yet. And the not knowing what would be shown…that was the worst. She knew they’d pick the most exciting, most drama-filled scenes to show, but what she didn’t know was how Jacob would react. Would they remind him of all that they shared? Would they make him see how crazy she was for him? Or would he see the darkness in their relationship—her past, his family, all the things they hadn’t been able to control? She hoped for the best and expected the worst. It had been like a family mantra growing up, why would now be different?
“Hey, Nat, they’re getting ready to start again.” Ryhan stood in the bathroom doorway.
Nat nodded but didn’t look up, she couldn’t not with the tears in her eyes and her grim heart breaking. “I doubt they’ll start without me.”
Ryhan chuckled. “Probably not.” She inched closer. “You okay?”
“I don’t know. This is harder than I thought.” But saying goodbye always was and if she didn’t figure out how to stop it, there was no doubt she’d be saying goodbye—probably to all of them. There was no way she could stay in Rangers End without Jacob by her side.
“Have you talked to him? Told him how you feel?”
“I thought he knew.”
Ryhan laughed again and Nat kind of wanted to smack her for it. “Oh, honey. Men are dumb, even the well-educated ones. Sometimes, you have to say the words to them or…they don’t get it. I mean look at me and Jesse. I had one foot on the bus already before I figured out I loved him. If I hadn’t told him…” She shook her head. “Anyhow, this is about you and Dr. Too-Hottie out there. He needs you. He might not know it, but he does. I only knew him a few months before you guys got married, but he came to life after your wedding. He smiled and participated in his own life. Trust me. He isn’t going to want to let that go.” She slipped her arm through Nat’s and tugged. “Now let’s get out there and get this done so you can take him home and tell him all the things you need to tell him.”
Nat nodded and smiled at her friend. “Not a wasted word in the bunch.”
“I know. I’m getting better, right?”
* * *
JANE CARLIN: Oh, we were all so excited. Couldn’t believe it took so long, but there was a vibration in the whole town when we heard the news. Had a special mass said just to celebrate.
* * *
267 Days earlier
Two pink lines. A plus sign. The word spelled out in a little window. For thirty-eight dollars, she would have liked more say over the results.
Shit.
And oh, God.
And shit again.
Did ninety-nine percent effective mean nothing? And what kind of company put out a product that was only ninety-nine percent effective? Where was the quality in that? The pride in workmanship? She sat down, a stern letter to the manufacturer forming in her mind. Yes. She would write the condom and the pharmaceutical company to inform them that ninety-nine percent wasn’t quite good enough.
It would make her feel better.
And not change one damned thing.
No. She had to focus. She picked up the pen again, needing to do something, anything to sort this mess in her mind, to make a plan she could concentrate on and follow as if she had some control.
Yes. She would make a list.
Tell Jacob.
She scribbled that one out. What would he think? Probably that she was trying to trap him into something long-term. Something they hadn’t even talked about. Something she didn’t even know if he wanted.
Don’t tell Jacob.
How she thought she would be able to pull that one off…she slept next to him every night. Certainly he would notice when her stomach started…oh God. She felt sick again. She stood, ignoring the tests on the table. This wasn’t real. Couldn’t be. Only a moron would get pregnant by a guy who had his leaving her date mapped out so far in advance. Only an idiot would get pregnant knowing she only had nine months left with her husband. Only a fool would think there’s even a chance he might be happy.
Okay, so if she went with don’t-tell plan, how would she hide it? She might have been able to get by with it for a few months maybe, but she had childbearing hips. Her mom had always said so, had told stories of how from the first two months she was pregnant the first time, everyone had known because she’d gotten as wide as a farm acre. With Nat’s luck, she’d take after her mother.
And Jacob was a doctor. Certainly, he’d know all the tell-tale signs.
She crossed out number one again. She had to tell him. Take her chances and tell him. Or she could head over to Redford to the clinic.
She had choices. But making them presented the problem.
Jacob walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, his pajama pants riding low on his hips. Her blood quickened and her stomach tingled with all those familiars pings of longing. Focus, Nat. You can’t screw your way out of this one. That’s what started it all.
She swiped the tests into her lap and crumbled the paper in front of her.
“What’s that?”
She tossed a two pointer at the garbage can. “Just doodling.” She slid the tests under her thigh. “You sleep good?” What? And where was her usual morning grump? If any morning she deserved a good whine, it was this one. Instead, she sounded like she’d swallowed a big glass of happy.
He turned, coffee pot in hand, and smiled. “Yeah. I did.”
“Well, you look great. Very refreshed.” Refreshed? Really? She had to pull it together or he would figure this out before he slid the pot back onto the burner.
“Thanks?”
She breathed deep and blew it out, hoping to calm her jangled nerves. “You have a busy day today?”
He nodded holding up his travel mug. He liked to pour it first thing so it wasn’t too hot to drink on his way to the office. “Yeah. I should probably go get dressed.” But he stood staring at her instead. “You okay?”
She nodded, enthusiastically. Too enthusiastically. “Yep. I’m great.”
“Okay.” But he stood, brow wrinkled, looking at her as if she’d spouted another head.
She’d told so many lies in her life that she’d given up keeping track. Believable lies. But now, she was one slow breath from blurting out the truth. “Hadn’t you better get going?”
“Probably.” Instead, he pulled out the chair next to her. All hope of getting out of this conversation vanished when he took her hand in his. “What’s going on, Nat?”
“It’s really…” She’d been about to say nothing. But it was something. Big.
“Don’t say it’s nothing. I can tell you’re bothered.”
She shook her head and sputtered for words. “I—it’s-”
Hs phone rang and he closed his eyes. He looked at the screen. “I have to…”
She nodded, using the time he spent on the phone to get her thoughts together, chuckling at the impossible absurdity of it al
l. A baby in an arranged marriage. This was a sixteenth-century kind of craziness. As her giggles morphed into a full-fledged guffaw, Jacob looked over at her, hung up his phone without even saying goodbye. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Nat?” He grinned, then chuckled.
There was nothing funny about it, nothing that she could think of, but she couldn’t stop. Maybe it was because if she didn’t laugh, she’d cry. Honestly, who, in the millennium of the thousand kinds of birth control, let themselves get accidentally pregnant?
Her thoughts crashed into one another. Would he think she’d done it on purpose? Of course, he would. Why wouldn’t he? In terms of their marriage, she brought almost nothing to the deal, financial, intellectual or otherwise. Why wouldn’t he think she’d tried to attach her row boat to his yacht?
She sobered, dried her eyes and prayed for more time to figure this out. If ever in her life she’d had an oh shit moment, it paled in comparison to this one. She needed him to stop looking at her, to get out of his chair and go to work. And to do it before she blurted out her news.
But, he sat, smiling his adorable smile, the one that made her knees go weak and her heart thump out a dance beat rhythm. “Are you going to tell me?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Not yet, anyway.”
“Nat. There is nothing you can say…”
“I’m pregnant.” And there it was.
* * *
LUCIA: A baby. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.
“What?” Pregnant? He had to have heard wrong. Really wrong.
She pulled three plastic sticks from her lap, and he studied like he was going to be tested later on the material.
Pregnant? “Humph.”
“Yep. That about sums it up.” She twisted her hands in front of her while his stomach churned like he was using it to make butter. “Look, I don’t—”
The Wedding Plan Page 8