We dressed quietly and then headed out. He still needed to pick up his stuff from the guest house and then return the rental car before Palmer took him and Jackson back to base. It seemed like an impossibly long list of things to do yet, here we were, taking our sweet time.
“Listen,” he said, breaking our self-imposed silence as we drove back to Gig Harbor. “If something should happen to me, I’ve asked my brother Oliver to call you. And if you need something, or if shit gets too intense with your mother, then I want you to go to Healdsburg. Oliver is your family now, and you can count on him.”
“Okay,” I acquiesced.
“And I know this is probably going to piss you off, but I swiped your bank account information from a bank statement and had some money transferred into it. You’re not working, and I don’t know how you’re supporting yourself, but it’s important to me that you’re taken care of.”
He was right, that did piss me off. If he had asked, I would have told him that I didn’t need his money. The Sorensons weren’t billionaires, but my family did well enough. Even though I didn’t currently have a job, I had income from a trust that my grandparents had created for me. And I had plans to sell my condo in Seattle, which would also net me a hefty profit. But I wasn’t going to argue because that’s not what today was about; today was about relishing our last moments together before we were separated.
“You’re seriously not going to argue with me about that?” He seemed stunned that I was caving so easily.
“No, I am. Trust me, if you weren’t deploying, you’d be spending the night on the couch or at Palmer’s. You should have asked me first.” Garrett was driving, and I reached across to place a hand on his thigh, which he immediately covered with his own. “But there’s no point in arguing with you because I don’t want you to leave like that.”
Garrett picked up my hand and brought it to his lips. “God, I don’t fucking deserve you.”
When we arrived back at my house, there weren’t any cars in the driveway, which I took as a good sign. I wasn’t in the mood for confrontation. Garrett left to take care of some last-minute business while I did the only thing I could for him—his laundry.
I got lost in the mundane task of sorting his laundry, which put my mind at ease but gave me the perfect opportunity to reflect. In the span of two weeks, Garrett and I found each other and realized that our lives were missing something just like this: a whirlwind romance that ignited instantly and never fizzled. I had waited patiently for something just like love, but Garrett gave me more than love; he gave me forever.
There wasn’t much laundry to do, and between loads, I baked for Jackson. I asked Garrett to make me a list of things to send them a few days ago and already had a care package ready to go.
Garrett ended a phone call just as I was folding the last load. He took it from me and smiled thinly. Our time was drawing to a close, and I couldn’t stop the tears from intermittently streaming down my cheeks. I stood in the doorway and watched him pack up the last of his clothes. Then I watched him transform from civilian to soldier.
His uniform was laid out on the bed, all of the pieces neatly arranged, and his big, heavy boots sat next to the bed. Slowly, he pulled on each item, and I had to cover my mouth to quiet the cry that threatened to escape. This was my first time seeing him in uniform, and he was breathtaking. He looked so serious and powerful but also handsome. Finally, he turned and offered himself for my inspection. I pulled my phone free from my back pocket and took his picture.
I stepped forward and ran my shaking fingers across the patch with his last name stitched on it. It would be mine eventually.
“Camille Hammond,” he said softly. “It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
I worked my bottom lip between my teeth and nodded, looking up at him. “Will you wear your service uniform when we get married?”
“Do you want me to?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. The question just popped into my head, so I thought I’d ask.”
“Well, if that’s what you want.”
“We have a lot of time to figure it all out,” I said casually, turning away. I couldn’t let myself plan for an unknown future.
“Hey.” Garrett grasped my elbow lightly and spun me back to face him. “I want to show you something.”
He walked me over to the full-length mirror attached to one wall. I stood in front of him, so small against his much larger frame. His hands rested lightly on my shoulders. “This is who we are now. A couple ready to separate, a couple with an unknown future. But that’s not who we will always be, Cami. So, I want you to let yourself dream, okay? If you want me to wear my service uniform on the day I become your husband, then I’ll wear it. If you just want a civil ceremony, then that’s what I want too. But don’t be afraid to think about the future.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I said, echoing his words.
“We deserve each other,” he whispered.
For what seemed like forever, we stood in front of that mirror. He made me whole, completed me in a way I didn’t think was possible. But until he came into my life, I hadn’t realized that something was missing. Him.
Garrett cleared his throat and released his hold on me. The clock was ticking, and we didn’t have much time left before he had to report to base.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s get this over with.”
He loaded his rental car with his large duffel bag, and we drove silently to Palmer’s house. Jackson looked equally impressive as he walked out the front door. He was lighter than Garrett with his sandy blond hair and blue eyes. He was clean-shaven, which gave him a baby face and made me realize how much younger he was than Garrett.
“Man, it’s about time you shaved all of that shit off your face,” Jackson teased, pointing at Garrett’s smooth cheeks. “I have no idea how Cami could stand kissing you with all of that crap. You must have given her rug burns.”
“That’s none of your business, asshole. Let’s get on the road. The sooner we get to that hellhole, the sooner we can leave.” I giggled with delight at their playful teasing. I glanced over at Palmer, who just stood in the front doorway watching them.
“You’re going to miss it, aren’t you?” I asked, walking up to him.
“I’ll miss them.” He lifted his chin in their direction. “They’ll always be my brothers. But I won’t miss being in the Army. It did me some good, but it didn’t turn me into the man I wanted to become.”
“Who did you want to become?”
“Someone worthy of you.”
He brushed past me, leaving me standing on the front porch of his house completely stunned. I watched him greet Jackson and Garrett like a brother, and I wondered if they would all be together again after this. Palmer turned back to me with longing and disappointment in his eyes. I hoped he would eventually move on from his unrequited feelings and find someone worthy of him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Garrett
We held hands the entire way to the rental car return, only separating out of necessity. And when we loaded ourselves into the back of Palmer’s SUV, my hand reclaimed hers and didn’t let go. Next to me, I heard Cami sharply inhale, her breath shaky before she exhaled with a sob. I couldn’t face her yet, so I squeezed her hand and looked steadfastly forward.
As we made our way onto base, Palmer stopped so that we could unload our bags at the drop-off point. Jackson and I tossed our large duffels onto an already growing pile. And then we made our way to the gym, where all of the families were gathered to say goodbye. Cami and I trailed slowly behind Jackson and Palmer, who walked ahead of us.
“You’ll email?” I asked her absently.
“Yes, I promise. And you’ll call?”
“As often as I can. Promise.” I felt awkward all of a sudden as if I didn’t know how to act, but then I realized that I’d never had to do this before. It had always been just me. My family was never present for any of my deployments. Instead, I had watche
d my friends and fellow soldiers say goodbye to their wives or husbands, parents or children and been grateful I was never in their position.
But now, I felt what they felt. My heart was breaking.
The gym was mostly full of members of the units deploying. Some had families with them, some brought just a spouse, and some were alone. It an experience of contradictions because it was at times both loud and quiet. Couples murmured quietly while babies and small children cried out. This whole thing only took an hour, but it was the longest hour of their lives, and now it was the longest hour of my own life.
Cami and I sat on the risers, our hands still clasped together. Her head rested on my shoulder, and we did our best to stay connected as much as possible. Several members of my unit came up to greet me before they continued along. They could tell from the hard look in my eye that I didn’t want to be disturbed. I wanted to savor every last second with Cami.
“The money should already be in your account,” I told her quietly. “And Oliver will be there for you if you need him. He has access to my bank account, so if you need something, just call and ask.”
“I’ll be fine, Garrett.”
“I know you will because you’re strong and amazing, but I want to do everything I can to make sure that you’re taken care of.”
“Thank you for thinking of me,” she said softly.
“There won’t be a moment while I’m gone that I won’t be thinking about you.”
One of the commanding officers began to give orders. This was our ten-minute warning, but I wasn’t ready to leave her yet. I wasn’t ready to give her one final kiss or hold her for one last moment.
“What’s happening?” Cami asked, her voice thick and heavy. All around us, families and couples were preparing to say their last goodbyes. The room was a cacophony of emotion.
“We have ten minutes, baby,” I whispered.
“Ten? Only ten?” She grabbed my face and pulled it toward hers. Her lips grazed mine softly at first, but then her kiss intensified. I held her waist tightly, keeping her in place, as I reciprocated.
“We have a lifetime ahead of us, Cami. What’s ten minutes?”
“Ten minutes isn’t enough to tell you how much I love you. Or how insane it feels to be completely and irrevocably connected to you after just days. Ten minutes isn’t enough time for me to tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and when I look at you, all I can see is forever.”
“Baby, you just did.” And then I swept her into my arms and kissed her thoroughly and soundly, a bruising kiss that she would be able to feel for days.
I set her back down on her feet, and Palmer approached me. His hand was extended, but I pulled him in for a brotherly hug. “Don’t worry about her,” he said quietly.
“Thank you,” I told him.
We both turned to watch Cami hug Jackson. It was like watching a sister hug her favorite big brother. She held him tightly and then stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. And then she gave him his care package.
“You didn’t have to,” Jackson told her before he lifted the lid and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie.
“Yes, I did. And I can send you plenty more. You deserve to know that someone is missing you and thinking about you.”
Jackson stopped chewing. He looked almost speechless. He didn’t have a family like Palmer and I did, and Cami’s declaration had stunned him. He turned away quickly and swiped at his eyes, not wanting to show this one moment of weakness. I felt lucky I witnessed it accidentally. Jackson often kept his guard up around everyone except a few people, but I started to see Cami chip away at his armor. Deep down, he was soft and wanted to be loved.
All around us, members of my unit plus the other units being deployed started to form rows. The last hugs were given; the last kisses lingered. Facing Cami, I cradled her face gently in my hands and placed a delicate kiss on her lips.
“How did I ever live without you in my life, Cami?” I took her hand and placed it over my heart. “This is yours. Keep it safe.”
Grabbing my large backpack, I headed into formation with the rest of my unit. Cami and Palmer remained in the gym as, one by one, each row headed into a small room where we picked up our weapons before walking in a loose single file line out to the waiting buses that would take us to an airfield. I climbed onto the bus and looked out the window. Cami and Palmer followed us as she furiously wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks. Palmer placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and pulled her to his side. He whispered something to her that seemed to calm her slightly because she met my eyes through the glass window and smiled.
“You better live through whatever shitstorm is waiting for us,” Jackson told me as he sat down next to me.
“That’s the plan, asshole. You better have my back.”
“I always do.”
“Oh, I can think of a few time when you didn’t,” I informed him. As the buses drove away, we started a friendly argument that made the perfect distraction. I was too busy pointing out all of the times when my best friend failed me to notice the woman with wild brown curls crying in the arms of my other best friend. I missed her fall to her knees, sobbing in pain because her heart hurt so damn much she thought she was dying. I missed all of that, but I knew it happened because it mirrored exactly how I felt.
The ride to the airfield didn’t take long. Jackson and I boarded the massive airliner that would take us to our final destination. There was so much on my mind that once we were seated, I turned to Jackson and asked him the first question that popped into my brain.
“How was your trip to Vegas?”
“You know, it’s Vegas. We drank too much. Lost a bunch of money.” He was being intentionally cagey, but I let it slide. Vegas was a tradition for the three of us; we always celebrated the end of a long deployment with a week of bachelor debauchery. Jackson had a bad habit of getting himself into trouble at the most inopportune times, but since I didn’t get a phone call asking to bail him out, I assumed it was a pretty uneventful trip. “Honestly, man, we just stayed by the pool all day drinking.”
“Sounds perfect, man. I think I’m going to do that when I’m out. Take Cami and escape to some beach somewhere and just drink by a pool all day.” And then make love to her all night, I silently added.
“It’s not a bad idea. Did I spy a ring on her left hand or was my mind just playing tricks on me?”
I chuckled. “You caught me. I put a ring on her finger.” It was the first time that I was talking about it with someone other than Cami, and it felt good.
“Isn’t it a little soon?”
I shook my head vigorously. “No way. I knew she was meant for me the second I laid eyes on her.”
“I’m happy for you, Garrett. I really am. You’ve been one lonely son of a bitch.”
I smirked and then leaned back against the seat. It was going to be a long flight, and I had plenty of damn time to reflect on just how lonely my life had been.
Once I had committed myself to the Army, I’d never committed to anything else. On leave, I fucked around and had plenty of one-night stands, but there was no one who made me take notice. Nikki was probably the only consistent relationship, and that didn’t even qualify as a relationship.
Was it wrong to be content to circle the globe alone? I didn’t regret going to any of the places I had visited, but then I started thinking about how much better those trips would have been with Cami. I pulled out the small notebook I always carried and started to make a list of all of the places I now wanted to revisit with Cami.
After an hour, the list was long. Sip champagne in France. Visit Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany. Explore the Australian outback. Make love to her on the beach in Hawaii. Take a sunset stroll through the acres and acres of vineyards that I helped plant.
All I needed to do was make it through the next nine months.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cami
Garrett was gone. He gave me his heart to keep sa
fe, and I willingly sacrificed my own heart. It was with him on a bus headed to places unknown.
“Where are they going?” I asked Palmer through my tears.
“To the airfield. They’ll all board a plane and head to their destination.” He stated all of this matter-of-factly but in a soft voice.
The entire act of deployment was new to me. It was like organized chaos. There was so much happening all at once, but there was also a lot of waiting. When the ten-minute warning arrived, my heart had thundered in my chest. I’d felt like I’d been well on my way to having a panic attack. I’d done my best to say a lifetime of words in ten minutes, and then he capped it with a kiss that I could still feel on my lips. Absently, my fingers traced where his lips had been.
“Come on,” Palmer said, grabbing my hand and shaking me out of my thoughts. “I think you need a little cheering up.” I followed him back to the car
“Palmer, I really don’t want to be cheered up,” I mumbled as I slid into the passenger seat of his car.
“Not even if I take you to Top Pot?”
“Okay, you can attempt to cheer me up with doughnuts.” Misery loved company, and I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by a dozen chocolate sprinkle doughnuts.
“You know, there’s a Top Pot in Tacoma now,” I informed him as he searched for a parking spot in downtown Seattle.
“Now you tell me!” He smiled, and it was then I realized just how handsome he was. Palmer’s jet black hair was neatly combed and closely shaved on the sides, and his dark eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He had filled out during his time in the Army. No longer the tall, scrawny, awkward boy I went kayaking with every summer; now he was long and lean with defined muscles. In another lifetime, I might have given him the chance he desired, but my heart was claimed.
“I actually knew that,” he admitted as he finally found a space and parked the car. “I just thought that you might not want to go back home either.”
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