Bianca’s heart hammered a frantic beat in her chest. She definitely didn’t need coffee to wake her up when Nate looked at her like that.
“Come on, Mommy,” EJ urged, tugging at the covers. “You should get out of bed.”
She pulled him into her lap, keeping the covers tucked around her. She’d put on a pair of short boxers and wasn’t quite ready to expose her legs for Nate’s inspection. When was the last time she’d shaved them, anyway?
Nate cleared his throat. “Hey, EJ, maybe we can let your mom catch up on sleep this morning while you help me with chores in the barn. What do you think?”
The boy squirmed out of her grasp, his bare feet hitting the carpet with a soft thud. “Can I go, Mommy?”
“Sure,” she mumbled, swallowing to wet her throat when the word came out on a croak. “You need to get dressed, brush your teeth and eat breakfast first.”
“We’ll handle that,” Nate told her as EJ ran past him, heading across the hall. “You go back to sleep. You obviously need it.”
Ouch. Bianca raised a hand to her cheek. She could feel her face flooding with color as she let out a half laugh, half sigh. “I guess it’s been rougher recently than I realized. Plus the drive from San Antonio took a lot out of me. I’m not normally this much of a mess.”
“You’re not a mess.” Nate took one step toward the bed then stopped, his fingers gripping the mug so tight his knuckles turned white. He stared at her for several long moments, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “You’re beautiful, Bianca. But it’s obvious you’ve been taking on too much. If Eddie were alive, he would have never let that happen. You’re here now...with me. I only want to help.”
Her toes curled as relief and gratitude whirled through her like a tornado. She hated what her life had come to in the past few months but was so happy to have this chance at a literal do-over. She could make things right for herself and EJ because Nate was in her corner.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m going to make this up to you someday. I promise.”
“You don’t have to do anything. I owe Eddie more than you can ever know. Helping you is the least I can do.” His voice was tight with tension as he spoke, as if there were more he wanted to say. Then EJ ran back in wearing his favorite dump truck T-shirt, a pair of baggy jeans and his light-up sneakers.
“I’m ready for breakfast,” he said, tugging on Nate’s free hand. “I got dressed by myself. My sneakers have Velcro so Mommy doesn’t have to tie them.”
“Clever,” Nate murmured, smiling at her son.
“Do you always wear cowboy boots?” EJ asked, pointing to the toe of Nate’s leather boot.
“Almost always.”
EJ turned his attention to Bianca. “Mommy, can I get a pair of boots?”
She wondered how much youth-sized cowboy boots would run. “We’ll see.”
“Get some rest,” Nate told her, ruffling EJ’s hair as he turned for the door, then quickly added, “Not because you look like you need it. Because you deserve it.”
She flashed a smile. “Good save, cowboy.”
He nodded then led EJ from the room. Bianca readjusted the pillow, then laid back and stared up at the ceiling. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to fall asleep again, but within seconds her eyes drifted shut. Maybe just a few minutes more, she told herself. Just a few.
Chapter Three
“Like this, Mr. Nate?”
“Exactly. Hold the nail steady with one hand and the hammer with the other. Careful of your fingers.”
Later that morning, Nate stood next to EJ at the workbench on the far side of the barn, watching as the little boy hammered together two boards to be used as a ramp for the chicken coop. It was a mundane chore Nate had been putting off for weeks, but it was the perfect job for an eager four-year-old.
Nate never would have guessed how much he’d enjoy having a kid shadow him all morning as he fed and watered the livestock and then drove out to check the perimeter fences. EJ’s enthusiastic stream of questions and excitement over every new task made the time fly by. EJ wanted to be involved in every piece of the action, reminding Nate of himself and his brothers when they were kids.
Earl and Cynthia Thompson, who’d owned the ranch, had been like grandparents to the triplets. Had his mother been as exhausted as Bianca seemed?
Probably.
He and his brothers were more than a handful.
Earl had been a quiet man with a surly countenance that hid a gentle heart. From the time Nate could remember, the craggy rancher had worked the Fortune boys, teaching them to manage the land and livestock and giving them a purpose when they might have turned wild with a less steady hand guiding them.
Nate wanted to do that for EJ, the way Eddie would have if he’d survived that last mission. As guilt exploded in Nate’s chest, he had to force himself not to step away from the boy. What right did he have to insert himself into this child’s life and try to offer direction?
When push had come to shove, he hadn’t been able to save his best friend. His brothers and mother had done fine for decades on their own while he was traveling the world with the navy. And shortly after he’d come home, all hell had broken loose with the discovery that Gerald Robinson was their father. Not that Nate could blame himself for that bombshell, but he hated that he hadn’t been able to protect his mom from revisiting that old heartbreak.
At the end of the day, he couldn’t trust himself to offer support to anyone. Bianca and EJ were far too precious to risk.
But they’d sought him out, and Nate had to believe that meant something. He needed to mean something to Eddie’s sister and her boy. He placed a hand on EJ’s arm to steady him and gave a few quiet instructions about how to position the next nail. The pink tip of EJ’s tongue poked out from the corner of his mouth, a sure sign the boy was deep in concentration.
“I thought I might find you two out here.”
At the sound of his mother’s voice, EJ stopped hammering and jumped off the stool Nate had pushed to the front of the workbench.
“Mommy,” he shouted, running toward her and launching himself against her legs. “I petted a cow and scooped horse poop and fed the chickens and now I’m fixing part of the coop. That’s what you call the chicken’s house—a coop. There are fifteen but only one rooster on account of he doesn’t like to share his girlfriends.”
“Whoa,” Bianca said with a laugh, lifting EJ into her arms. “Slow down, buddy. Take a breath. It sounds like you had a busy morning.”
“I got boots, too,” EJ said, kicking out his feet. “They used to be Mr. Nate’s.”
Her grin faltered as she looked to Nate. Damn, she was beautiful. She wore a simple white T-shirt and a pair of snug jeans with a tiny rip above one knee. That small strip of skin was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen because it held the promise of so much more.
Nate had never been one for flash and dazzle in his women, so Bianca’s natural beauty hit him hard. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, exposing the graceful line of her throat. More than anything, he wanted to know if her skin was as soft as it looked.
He was so damn close to making a fool of himself and embarrassing them both.
“Or one of my brother’s pairs.” He shrugged, feeling suddenly self-conscious that he’d dug through the shed out back to track down the bins of clothes and shoes his mom had kept from his childhood. “It’s hard to know, but my mom saved anything we didn’t wear out and Earl insisted on good boots, even when we were young. We all had the same style.”
“Thank you for sharing them with EJ,” she said after a moment.
“He needed a decent pair of shoes for the ranch.” The words came out more gruffly than he meant them because he didn’t want her to think that after one day he was trying to step in as the boy’s father or something. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Mommy, I got so many things to show you.” EJ wriggled to the ground and skipped in a circle around Bianca. “You want to see the poop I scooped or the fence I helped Mr. Nate fix?” He waved his hands in a windmill motion as he moved, a bundle of boy energy even after working for hours. Temperatures in January usually hovered in the low fifties, but today the thermostat had climbed nearly ten degrees above normal. Nothing appeared to dim EJ’s enthusiasm.
“Right now,” Bianca said gently, pulling a cell phone from the back pocket of her jeans, “I need to talk to Mr. Nate. Why don’t you check out your favorite YouTube channel for a few minutes?”
Nate frowned as EJ took the phone and hit a button, the blue light from the screen illuminating his small face. “It’s not working, Mommy,” EJ said almost immediately, handing the phone back to Bianca.
“No service,” Bianca muttered. “I guess it’s because we’re so far out of town. Do you have a Wi-Fi password?” She glanced from the phone to Nate.
“Nope,” he said, massaging a hand over the back of his neck.
“Maybe the signal is bad in the barn,” she told her son. “If you take it to the house’s front porch—”
“You still won’t have any luck.” Nate stepped forward. “Cell service out here is spotty, and the ranch doesn’t have Wi-Fi.”
Bianca and EJ stared at him with mutual horror in their dark gazes.
“You can get internet in town at the library,” he added quickly. “Normally it’s open on Wednesdays.”
EJ’s mouth dropped open.
“Once a week?” Bianca asked, her tone incredulous.
“I haven’t been there for a few months. It might have different hours now.”
“I want to watch a show,” EJ complained.
“We have a satellite dish,” Nate said. “My mom likes to watch the Rodeo Live channel when she’s not on the road with Grayson.”
“Do you have Elmer the Elephant?” the boy asked.
“I’m not sure about that,” Nate admitted. He’d heard of a puppet named Elmo but never an elephant called Elmer. “What channel is Elmer on?”
“YouTube,” Bianca and EJ answered at the same time, then Bianca crouched down at EJ’s side.
“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll figure out something to watch when you need a break. Besides, there’s so much to keep you busy on the ranch, you’ll hardly have time to miss Elmer.”
“I miss him already, Mommy.”
Nate watched Bianca’s shoulders deflate as she sighed.
“EJ, would you put extra hay in each of the horse stalls while your mom and I talk?”
For all the boy’s earlier enthusiasm, EJ looked like he wanted to refuse. Nate understood the sentiment. As much fun as a ranch could be for a boy, there was always the moment when a kid realized work was work. It was a lesson Nate and his brothers had learned early on, and it had served each of them as they grew to be men. He wanted to make sure he instilled the same work ethic in Bianca’s son. He knew Eddie would have done the same thing.
“Remember how we talked about chores,” he said gently.
EJ scrunched up his face and nodded. “Taking care of the animals is most important.”
“Right,” Nate agreed.
EJ looked up at Bianca. “I’ll be back after I finish my chore, Mommy.”
“I’ll be here, sweetie.”
Nate gave EJ a few more instructions about how much hay to give each horse, then watched as the boy made his way to the first stall.
“I can’t believe how well he listens to you,” Bianca murmured. “No access to Elmer would have ended in a full-blown temper tantrum with me.”
“Sometimes a boy just needs a man in his life.”
He was thinking of how much Eddie would have loved being a part of EJ’s world but cringed as Bianca sucked in what looked to be a strained breath.
“You probably think it’s terrible that I rely on an animated elephant to help me parent my kid. I do limit his screen time, but sometimes—”
Nate shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. That isn’t what I meant. I’m not judging you, Bianca. A single mom raised me, and I know how much trouble we gave her. I don’t know how she handled the three of us most days. It’s clear you do a wonderful job with EJ, but it kills me that Eddie is missing this.”
“Me, too,” she said softly. “Sometimes I still can’t believe he’s gone. And EJ reminds me of him in so many ways.”
“He’s a great kid.”
“Thanks. He clearly loves being with you. My feelings of inadequacy aside,” she said with a small laugh, “it’s good for him to spend time with a man who can be a role model. But I don’t want you to feel like he’s a burden.”
“That would never happen.” He couldn’t put into words how much he enjoyed the young boy.
“He’s also a handful and his energy is nonstop. Sometimes it gets to be too much for people.”
“People like his father?” Nate asked, unable to tamp down his curiosity. EJ talked a mile a minute but all he would say about his dad was that he’d liked when EJ was quiet. Nate couldn’t imagine EJ not talking a mile a minute other than when he was sleeping.
“My ex-husband isn’t involved in our lives anymore. I’ve gone back to my maiden name, and I’m working to have EJ’s legally changed to Shaw.” She bit down on her bottom lip. “Brett walked away two years ago and never looked back.”
“He’s an idiot,” Nate offered automatically.
One side of her mouth kicked up. “You sound like Eddie. He never liked Brett, even when we were first dating. He said he wasn’t good enough for me.”
“Obviously that’s true.” Nate took a step closer but stopped himself before he reached for her. Bianca didn’t belong to him, and he had no claim on her. But one morning with EJ and he already felt a connection to the boy. A connection he also wanted to explore with the beautiful woman in front of him. “Any man who would walk away from you needs to have his—” He paused, feeling the unfamiliar sensation of color rising to his face. His mother had certainly raised him better than to swear in front of a lady, yet the thought of Bianca being hurt by her ex made his blood boil. “He needs a swift kick in the pants.”
“Agreed,” she said with a bright smile. A smile that made him weak in the knees. He wanted to give her a reason to smile like that every day. “I’m better off without him, but it still makes me sad for EJ. I do my best, but it’s hard with only the two of us. There are so many things we’ve had to sacrifice.” She wrapped her arms around her waist and turned to gaze out of the barn, as if she couldn’t bear to make eye contact with Nate any longer. “Sometimes I wish I could give him more.”
“You’re enough,” he said, reaching out a hand to brush away the lone tear that tracked down her cheek. “Don’t doubt for one second that you’re enough.”
As he’d imagined, her skin felt like velvet under his callused fingertip. Her eyes drifted shut and she tipped up her face, as if she craved his touch as much as he wanted to give it to her.
He wanted more from this woman—this moment—than he’d dreamed possible. She’d fit perfectly in his arms and he could show her exactly how it felt to be with a man who appreciated what a gift she was. He let his finger trail over her cheek and trace the line of her jaw, edging down to her throat. He leaned in, so close he could smell her shampoo, something fruity and utterly feminine. A loose strand of hair brushed the back of his hand, sending shivers across his skin.
She glanced at him from beneath her lashes, but there was no hesitation in her gaze. Her liquid brown eyes held only invitation, and his entire world narrowed to the thought of kissing Bianca.
“I finished with the hay, Mommy,” EJ called from behind him.
Bianca jumped away like she’d been scalded.
“Nice work, buddy,” she said, her voice high and tight. “Want to show
me that fence you fixed now?”
“Can you come, too, Mr. Nate?” EJ smiled, his face all wide-eyed innocence.
The boy trusted him. Bianca trusted him. Eddie had trusted him.
And Nate didn’t deserve any of it.
He had to put the brakes on the careening desire he felt for his best friend’s sister. She’d come to him for help. That was all he had to offer.
“Um... I...” He shook his head, trying to clear his muddled brain. “I promised a neighbor I’d help with some damage to his barn.” As excuses went, it was totally lame but also true. In this part of rural Texas, neighbors relied on each other. Nate had made the commitment before Bianca and EJ arrived. “I’ll see you later.”
The boy looked confused at his change in demeanor, but Bianca kept her gaze on the barn’s dirt floor. “Thanks for this morning,” she said softly, and he noticed her hands were clenched into fists at her sides.
“No problem.” He turned and walked out into the bright January sunlight before he changed his mind and found a reason to spend the day with his houseguests. Keeping Bianca at arm’s length was the only way he was going to survive her stay.
The only way.
* * *
She and EJ drove into town for lunch and found a surprisingly yummy Mexican restaurant open in the back of the building that housed both the grocery store and gas station. They’d shared a plate of chicken enchiladas and she’d eaten way too many of the crispy chips and tangy salsa the owner, Rosa, had brought to the table.
Lunch at a restaurant might be typical for some people, but it was a real treat for Bianca. She’d cashed the check she received from her crummy apartment deposit in San Antonio before leaving town, so she had an extra five hundred dollars to her name before her finances got precariously tight again.
She and EJ had been equally shocked at how tiny Paseo was compared to their neighborhood in San Antonio. There was something oddly comforting about making her way through a town that only stretched a few short blocks. The pace of life was clearly less rigorous in this part of the state, and everyone she met went out of their way to be welcoming, especially when she mentioned she was a family friend of the Fortunes.
Her Soldier 0f Fortune (The Fortunes 0f Texas: The Rulebreakers Book 1) Page 3