“Is everything all right, Dr. Ferris? You seem a little… distracted.”
Vanessa forced a smile. “Let’s focus. I’m still strongly suggesting that you bring your fiancée here to see me, but if that’s too much for you to cope with right now, at least stay consistent with the advice I gave last week. If it’s helped this much so soon, it could be the key to eliminating the problem altogether, okay?”
Cliff smiled a little and then stood from the couch. Vanessa saw him to the door and rolled her eyes when she closed it. Her next two patients came back to back, leaving her little time to relax in between. It was probably for the best, though. The busier she stayed, the less time she had to think about her personal issues. She’d just seen her last patient scheduled before lunch and had taken a seat at the desk when her telephone rang.
“You have a call on line one. Would you like me to just take a message so you can head out to lunch?” Greta asked.
Vanessa stared at the blinking green light. “No, I’ll take it. Thanks.”
She disconnected from Greta and switched lines. “Dr. Ferris,” she answered.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Zander’s heavy accent gave his identity away immediately.
Vanessa didn’t say anything. She was still fuming from earlier.
“I felt terribly guilty after leaving our session,” he went on. “Please, allow me to apologize again. The things I said were… inexcusable.”
‘Like Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde,’ Vanessa thought to herself. She had a hard time keeping up with Zander’s mood swings.
“Apology accepted. Now I have to go. There’s another patient waiting to see me,” she lied.
“Can’t you spare a moment?”
She sighed and closed her eyes. “You should have patients, too.”
“I’m actually free for the hour.”
She glanced down at the keyboard and continued to tap her foot beneath the desk. “What is it?”
Through the phone, she could practically hear how satisfied Zander was that she’d given in to him, satisfied that she stayed on the line. “I’m feeling particularly… weak today.”
“Weak?” she inquired.
“My thoughts have been quite wayward.”
Vanessa leaned back in the chair and sipped her water before speaking again. “I’m gonna need more information than that,” she said curtly.
Zander laughed quietly into the phone, deciding to give the answer she sought—the raw, undiluted truth. “It’s the middle of the day, I’m incredibly horny, and there’s no one around to take all this pent-up aggression out on. So, Dr. Ferris, what do you suggest I do about that?”
Vanessa didn’t say anything, but she’d had similar thoughts herself lately. Going several months without any action was changing her, making her colder, short-tempered. Basically, Zander was preaching to the choir. She missed sex, some nights almost enough to call Simon over to take care of her needs. However, painful memories and her pride stopped her every time.
“Are you still there?”
“Y-yes. I’m here,” she stammered.
“I’m waiting for your suggestion,” Zander reiterated, his voice coming through the receiver deep, airy.
Vanessa tried to ignore where her thoughts wandered off to, someplace they had no business wandering ever. “Well… you’ve got a free hour, don’t you? Is there a private bathroom you can get to?”
Zander chuckled again and propped his feet up on his desk, trying to imagine what Vanessa looked like at that very moment, giving such a logical explanation for something so carnal. “Mmmm… that’s not quite what I had in mind.”
“Then I’m sure you can whip out your little-black-book and call someone up, but I’m trying to understand why you’re calling me.”
His laugh bellowed through the phone. “You really are cranky today, aren’t you? What’s the matter?”
She cut her eyes as if he was sitting there to see it. “Are we gonna do this again?”
“I’m actually a great listener, so you’re doing yourself a disservice not taking advantage. Not to mention, I’m typically pretty damn expensive, but I’m offering you a phone session free of charge.”
Vanessa sighed into the receiver.
“For Pete’s sake, lighten up,” Zander said with a smile. “What’s it take to knock that chip off your shoulder?”
‘A stiff drink and a hard dick,’ she thought to herself, but of course refrained from saying that aloud to Zander. Instead, she held the phone in silence.
“Why’d you get quiet on me?” he asked.
“Just thinking.”
Ah, finally she wasn’t answering his question with a question or being dismissive.
Progress.
“Thinking about what?” Zander inquired. “If you don’t mind my asking.”
Vanessa sighed and let her eyes drift closed, feeling conflicted. On the one side, he was a qualified professional—her ‘equal’, as he put it—but on the other hand, she had to be mindful of the boundaries that should exist between her and all of her patients.
“Just… things,” she replied vaguely.
He sensed that she was still guarded, but at least she was somewhat engaged in the conversation.
“Oh, come on. You can give me more than that.” While awaiting her response, he stared at himself in the reflection of the dormant computer screen before him.
“Zander… I’m sorry, but… I’m gonna have to end this call. Besides,” she said, smiling a little, “I thought you had some business to handle before your next patient arrived.”
He grinned and drummed his fingers on the desk. He’d broken her down about as far as she’d let him for today and he wanted to strike while the iron was hot. “Meet me for drinks tonight.”
Vanessa frowned. Was he crazy? Had he forgotten how angry he made her that morning?
“I can’t,” she countered.
“Why?”
“Because that would be—”
“Inappropriate,” he said, finishing her sentence. “So you keep telling me.”
“Exactly. So why do you keep setting yourself up for failure?” she asked, laughing a little.
She sounded so sexy over the phone he couldn’t fight it anymore. He stroked his erection through his slacks several times before giving in and easing his zipper down. He worked his hand inside his boxers and thought of Vanessa.
“We’ll talk next week,” she concluded, deciding she’d let him return to her office as long as he could follow the rules, starting with staying out of her personal business.
It was Zander’s rushed words that stopped her from ending the call. “Not yet,” he cut in. “Keep talking. About anything.”
He couldn’t let her off the line just yet. Hearing her voice fed the fantasy, helped him imagine it was her hand traveling down to massage his testicles, not his own. The tender flesh of his lower lip ached between clamped teeth.
Heavy breathing on the other end had Vanessa listening harder, but it was Zander’s aroused groan that confirmed her suspicion.
Frowning, she decided to just ask. “What on Earth are you doing?”
“Touching myself and thinking of you,” he replied with absolutely no shame, enlivening each of Vanessa’s senses.
She closed her eyes and crossed her legs at the feel of moisture seeping from her core.
“I’m ending this call,” she asserted, and then did just that. Her eyes were trained on the phone long after hanging up. Each breath came in a short choppy burst. Damn that Zander. He’d somehow managed to suck her into the cyclone of lust right along with him.
She glanced up at the lock on her door, realizing it was already engaged. Next, her eyes drifted to her purse. She kept a little something tucked away inside it just in case she ever felt the need to… relieve herself away from home. And now, thanks to the visual Zander had put in her head, she found herself struggling with urges similar to his this afternoon.
She exhaled, finally deciding to take
out the pocket-sized toy she picked up a few weeks ago. Unashamed, she slipped out of her stockings, lifted her dress to her hips and propped one leg up on her desk once she sat back down. Her mind drifted to Zander on its own while she played. She couldn’t help but to visualize him pleasuring himself as she did the same. Lately, self-gratification annoyed the hell out of her—because that was all she could get—but today it was a welcomed necessity.
She hated that Zander had been able to have this effect on her, because he was her patient, because he infuriated her, but who was she kidding? Her pussy was so wet just at the mere thought of him stroking his dick while he, undoubtedly, thought of her too. She imagined his stiff, swollen length in his hand as he stroked it hard and fast, impatient for his release. She bit down on her lip as the toy buzzed against her clit. She moved it in circles, awakening her bud even more.
Zander was inside her head again, panting and moaning right along with her. A breath entered her lungs and she held it in, reveling in the sensuous throb as the vibrator hummed quietly. She pictured Zander on the cusp of orgasm, writhing in pleasure, breathing heavily… and then the burst of warm cum as it shot from his dick. The image induced Vanessa’s own orgasm, the intensity of which had her body curling into itself. Twitching in her desk chair, she tried to keep her voice down, but she needed this release so bad. It was a miracle she even made it out the house this morning without taking care of it. She was wound so tightly.
As the high left her, she reached for a tissue to wipe the device clean of her stickiness before popping it back into its case inside her purse. She reached down beneath her desk to search for her panties, just as someone knocked at her door.
“Dammit.” She craned her neck down, but didn’t see them. “One sec,” she called out, feeling around again. When the visitor knocked another time, she rolled her eyes and decided to just find them later. For now, she smoothed her dress down and eased back into her shoes.
“Yes?” She answered, staring at Simon on the other side of the threshold.
He assessed her flushed cheeks and guilty expression, but wasn’t sure of the cause.
“I just wanted you to know I’m back.” He paused to peer around Vanessa’s curvy form, glancing from one corner of her office to the next. “Is uh… is everything all right?”
She nodded and threw Simon off with a blank expression. “Yeah, I was just… organizing some files.”
He had no reason to think she was lying. “All right… I’ll be in my office if you need me. No patients, but I have a few other things I can get done.”
Vanessa watched Simon look around suspiciously again, and then he was gone. She closed the door and leaned against it once she was alone. Having him visit right after she pleasured herself was awkward to say the least, made her feel like a teenage girl whose father had just walked in on her. This brought her mind back to Zander’s accusation from earlier—
I don’t have a damn Elektra complex.
She had to get that man out of her head.
Chapter Five
Vanessa found herself thinking about Zander again while she washed dishes after dinner; not in a way she shouldn’t have been thinking about him, but about his case. She felt like he’d require a more aggressive form of treatment than she originally planned.
As the day wore on, guilt set in. She shouldn’t have blown up at him the way she did. It wasn’t professional and, regardless of how he’d gotten to her, he didn’t deserve that. He had problems, yes, but that was why he’d come to her. This wasn’t the first time she’d dealt with a patient lashing out at her. It was a defense mechanism to ward her off from probing deeper into their own psyche by turning the tables. She now knew his tactics and wouldn’t fall for it again.
Ryan bounced into the kitchen for a goodnight kiss and Vanessa left her hands in the warm dishwater when she leaned to the side so he could reach her.
“You brushed your teeth?” she asked.
Ryan smiled. “Yeah, Ma, I always do.”
Vanessa smiled back.
Her son lingered and without asking what was wrong, she knew why. Every now and then, he’d have a hard time at night with Simon not being there. It was usually on days he’d spent time with his dad, so this was fully expected.
“Is it late?” Ryan asked, glancing over at the kitchen clock, trying to count the hours and minutes.
“It’s almost eight-thirty, so it depends on why you’re asking,” Vanessa answered, pulling the drain cover from the sink. She dried her hands and turned to stare at Ryan, amazed at how much he reminded her of his father.
“Well… I was gonna ask if I could call Dad. You think he’s sleep already?”
The center of her chest felt tight when her son’s hurt transferred to her. She knew he missed Simon, but she had to make a choice. She couldn’t just continue to turn a blind eye on what he was doing, especially not with it right in her face.
Vanessa’s hand went to her son’s soft curls when she rubbed the top of his head. “It’s not too late. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you before bed.” She handed him the cordless phone from its cradle and watched with a smile as Ryan raced toward the stairs to make the call from his room.
Regardless of the drama she and Simon had, she’d never stop him from being a father to their seven-year-old son. Their problems had nothing to do with his rights to be in Ryan’s life. As easy and effective as it would’ve been, she wouldn’t use him as a tool to hurt his father. That was low, even if she sometimes felt like Simon deserved it.
Yawning, she turned out the lights and headed up to bed herself. She followed her usual routine—washed her face, brushed her teeth, changed into the nightgown she’d left on the back of the door.
Mundane—that word rung in her head, but instead of hearing her own voice, she heard a deep, British accent; a voice she scolded herself for enjoying even when the words spoken in it were harsh and uncensored.
The room went black when she switched off the light and walked to the bed from memory. She let the cool sheets caress her skin and leaned into her pillow. The sound of her son’s laughter on the other side of the wall had her smiling again. He was giving his dad a lively rendition of the day he had right down to what Vanessa fixed for dinner. The next thing Ryan said was, “I think she just got in bed,” meaning Simon had asked about her.
A long, heavy sigh left her mouth as she flipped over to stare at the ceiling. It baffled her that he seemed to care so much about being on her good side now that things were coming to an end. Maybe that was typical of men in his position, but it unnerved her. All these years, she’d been the best wife she could be. While he had her that wasn’t enough, so why was it now all of a sudden? She’d dismissed her own intuition, convincing herself he was faithful based solely on the fact that she couldn’t imagine her husband, thee Dr. Simon Ferris, cheating on her.
No.
Not him.
She thought that right down until that night she found the lipstick-stained dress shirt in his suitcase. It wasn’t even like she was looking for it. All she wanted was to get his things together to take them to the cleaners on her way to work the next morning, but what she found changed everything. That night signified the end of their marriage and confirmed every sinking suspicion she’d ever had. For years, she’d been Simon’s fool without even knowing it.
There was no telling how many women he’d been with. All he admitted to were three affairs, but she knew there were probably more. After probing him for information for hours, she finally got out of him that they were all young, early twenties just like she’d been when she first caught Simon’s eye. She never expected that, at only thirty-four years old, she would have to worry about her husband chasing younger women.
A gently spoken, “Mom?” coming from the doorway snatched her from her thoughts.
“I’m still up, sweetie. What is it?” Vanessa asked, watching as her son moved toward her bed with the phone in his hand.
“I’m getting sleepy, but
Dad wants to talk to you.”
Simon just wouldn’t give up.
She didn’t want to make a scene in front of Ryan, but she was absolutely fed up with the lack of respect the man seemed to have for her need for personal space. She passed a sweet smile to Ryan and kissed his cheek again.
“Okay. Thank you. Get to bed,” she said, waiting until he was gone to address Simon.
“What?” she hissed. He managed to piss her off and she hadn’t even heard his voice yet.
“I don’t mean to upset you, Nessa, I just—”
“Don’t call me that,” she cut in. “I’m not your wife, not your friend, so… don’t call me that.”
Simon was quiet on the other end. “I wasn’t trying to upset you,” he repeated gently, wanting to convey that he had no ulterior motives. Honestly, he just wanted to hear her voice, to imagine himself lying beside her instead of alone in a bed that still felt unfamiliar after so many months. However, now that Vanessa had made it so clear she didn’t want to have anything to do with him, he lost his nerve.
“I was just letting you know that uh… my patient, Lori, the one I went to the hospital to see—it was a suicide attempt.”
Vanessa knew Lori, a sixteen-year-old girl Simon had taken on a couple years ago when her parents were killed in a plane crash. Blindsided by the news, Vanessa had an awkward moment where she couldn’t quite get her anger in check to ask Lori’s status.
“How… how is she now? Stable, I’m assuming?” The words were stiff and unfeeling despite the fact that she did actually care about the young girl.
Simon sighed into the receiver. “She’s fine, just having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. I’m adding an additional session for her on Mondays and I’ll have to up her meds. They’re admitting her for a while.”
Vanessa thought that’d be best. “I’m glad she pulled through.” There was an uncomfortable silence. “I’m going to get some sleep. Long day,” she added, hoping Simon would get the hint without forcing her to be cruel. Despite what he thought, she really did hate having to lash out at him.
Overdose: A British Bad Boy Romance Page 5