Rage

by Elizabeth Reyes

  The fury practically blurred his vision, and AJ heard a roar. Not until he’d pushed past several guys charging at Bigsby did he realize he was the one still growling as he tried to get past more of them, but there were too many between them. Chaos ensued for a while because, no matter what, AJ was incapable of calming down. He wanted nothing more than to rip Bigsby apart.

  Sabian was finally the only one that was able to snap him out of it. Before tonight, no one hated Bigsby more than Sabian. He’d always thought him a total dick. Sabian kept yelling something over and over, holding AJ by the front of his jersey tightly. But AJ wouldn’t even glimpse at him.

  The entire stadium was going wild. All the players from both teams were on the field, including the guys from the bullpens. The game had completely stalled for fifteen or twenty minutes now as the umps and coaches tried unsuccessfully to regain control of the game. Bigsby was still yelling at him and being held back, and AJ finally heard what Sabian was saying.

  When his and Sabian’s eyes finally met, his good friend’s brows lifted. “You’re both still in the game,” he repeated again, only calmer now that he had AJ’s attention. Then he smiled. “Don’t get ejected, man. I’m up next. These fuckers insult me by walking you because I’m no threat? We’ll see about that. I’ll hit one that’ll get you around those bases and right into home plate.”

  It took a moment for what Sabian was saying to sink in as AJ stared at him, chest still heaving. Right into home plate. He liked how Sabian was thinking, and he almost smiled when he saw Sabian’s eyes brighten and his smile widen. “I promise.”

  Despite the visual he was already having about what he’d do if he made it around those bases and into home base, AJ was still too enraged to smile. With a deep breath, he stopped fighting Sabian and some of the other guys holding him back. As much as he wanted to, he knew there was no way he’d get to lay a finger on Bigsby. Not here. Not now. Bigsby knew this too. It was why he was still running his mouth and holding up his arm to make sure AJ could see the fucking tattoo. The only thing that confused him—though he didn’t doubt for a moment now that this was Clair’s dad—was the name Fred. Bigsby’s name was Win. AJ had always assumed it stood for Winston or something as pretentious sounding as Bigsby looked and acted. But it didn’t matter.

  AJ slowly made his way to first base. Seeing that he was calm now, everyone else began making their way off the field again. It appeared the mayhem was over, but AJ knew better, and he could already feel the adrenaline building again. His insides were readying themselves for an even bigger—more satisfying—blowup this time.

  It took a while for Sabian to finally get his at bat because they’d had to give the new pitcher as much time as he needed to warm up, but AJ hadn’t calmed at all. In fact, the longer he stood there at first base, piecing it all together, the more fired up he got. AJ had been way off—clueless about why Bigsby had come at him the way he had at first. He wasn’t upset that his team was down. He was still mad about the same shit his little bitch ass had been whining to Addison about.

  It didn’t help that every time AJ glanced at him he had that smug smile on his face. AJ had so much time to think that every minute that passed made his insides heat. They were now boiling violently. He had plenty of questions for Addison too. Remembering how quick she’d been to come up with a lie at that cocktail party, he was certain now the asshole jumping in her face the way he did had nothing to do with taxes. What else had she so easily lied to him about?

  The moment the ref motioned that the pitcher was ready so was AJ. So ready. He’d decided not to make the pitcher too nervous by taking too big a lead off first. He didn’t want this to be one of those at bats. He needed Sabian to get a hit as soon as possible.

  The first two pitches were hit into foul territory, and AJ began to worry Sabian might not get a hit. Then he did—a beautiful line drive down the middle—and AJ took off. He didn’t bother checking to see where the ball was. AJ was going for it no matter what. The third base coach began giving him the hold-at-third sign, so he knew it’d be a close call at the plate, but he didn’t even care if he scored. That wasn’t what this was about.

  With his eyes focused on Bigsby, who was standing at the plate, waiting for the ball and bracing for a collision, AJ prepared to hit him hard, but not too hard. He knew he could easily knock him out if he collided into him hard enough. But he didn’t want that. Oh no, he wanted so much more.

  As expected, the collision was a violent one. Violent enough that, even though the ball got there before AJ, Bigsby wasn’t able to hold on to it. The second AJ found his bearings after the collision he spun around. Perfect. Bigsby’s mask had flown off in the collision, and AJ nailed him twice, right in the fucking mouth, with his fist before someone attempted to pull him off. At first, his teammates were no match for AJ who easily threw anyone off who tried to hold him back. He managed to land a couple of more fists onto Bigsby’s already bloodied face. He was on his feet now.

  As the brawl grew with both teams out there again, Bigsby and AJ were pulled further apart. Then AJ saw Sabian land an unsuspecting punch to the side of Bigsby’s head, and more brawling ensued when Bigsby’s teammates came to his defense. Seeing someone land a punch to Sabian’s chin then Bigsby start yelling his stupid shit again only incensed AJ more, and he came loose from the guys holding him. But he was quickly bear-hugged by several more players.

  Once again the game was stalled, only this time AJ, Bigsby, Sabian, and a couple of other players from the Cardinals were ejected. Even back in the locker room, AJ was still on fire. Coach Lara and Sabian tried calming him down, but he still broke a few more of the wooden stools against the lockers, just as he had the day after Clair had fallen into a coma. It didn’t help; he was too pissed. Too hurt. Too fucking enraged to calm down.

  “I need my phone,” he said, stalking to his locker, even as the coach and Sabian stared at him wide-eyed.

  Neither had any idea why he was so enraged, and as many times as they both seen him lose his shit on the field, this was by far the worst. Not even the smeared blood still all over his knuckles gave him the satisfaction it should have. He knew he should calm down before speaking with Addison, but he needed answers now. The very idea that she might give into anything Clair’s dad demanded now—anytime he’d request to spend with them both—sickened him even more now.

  He’d been patient and as understanding as he was going to get. Addison talking or spending any time with Bigsby was unacceptable, especially after today.

  My everything!

  A growl escaped him as Bigsby’s words assaulted him once again. He grabbed his phone out of his bag, knowing it was a risk to talk to Addison this angry, but he couldn’t wait another minute. “Can I get a minute alone?” he asked Lara and Sabian even as he punched one of the lockers.

  The both exchanged glances but nodded. “Calm down, son. It’s over now,” Lara said one last time, just as he and Sabian walked out.

  Something squeezed at his heart because he knew just how over this could be. He’d make no compromises now, and he knew what he’d be demanding was unreasonable, but it was the only way things would ever work between him and Addison now. There was no way he’d be able to deal with that asshole in her life. No way.

  Chapter 28

  Addison

  Addison stepped out of the private suite she’d been in, watching in horror as the events on the field played out. At first, she’d held out hope that the heated exchange between AJ and Fred—like the one earlier that season—was just coincidental. Sure she figured Fred might say or do something pissy like that first time weeks ago, which might result in some kind of scuffle, given AJ’s temper, but after seeing just how enraged AJ had become at whatever Fred kept yelling at him, her gut told her this was the nightmare she’d been dreading.

  Even then when things calmed the first time, she’d held out hope again that maybe Fred had just pushed AJ’s buttons on some other issue. The game or something. But when AJ igno
red the third base coach’s signal to stop at third, turned that corner with a purpose, then collided into him the way he had, she knew right then—he knew.

  His name on her phone screen now had her heart at her throat. This was so bad. She really had decided to come clean. She’d just hadn’t wanted it to affect his playoff series. God damn it, she’d been so close. The worst thing was she knew this was all Fred’s doing. It was infuriating.

  “Was Fred a code name?” he asked as soon as she answered. “Was it part of the cover-up, Addison?”

  “Sort of, but not just from you,” she said calmly, hoping her tone might calm him because he still sounded as infuriated as he’d been on the field. “Winfred is his full name, but I’ve been calling him Fred since way back.”

  She quickly explained how way back they’d both been afraid, since technically she was a minor, even if he were just a few years older than she was. He’d also been afraid of upsetting his mentor. She, too, thought it better if they kept in on the down low, at least for a while. Then she got pregnant and things soured. After that, she for sure would never chance anyone hearing her use the name people knew him by. Ever. She’d never been more relieved for that decision when she found out Clair had overheard her then told AJ.

  “I can’t deal with this guy being a part of your life, Addison. I won’t.”

  He hadn’t even finished his sentence when her other line clicked. It was Fred. She was sure he’d have demands of his own. Her head was spinning and her stomach roiled. This day had been an absolute nightmare, and it felt like it was still far from over.

  AJ was still going on about how he didn’t even want her talking to Fred. She could fight him in court, and AJ was sure she would win full custody. They’d get the best lawyers on it. He said Fred didn’t have a leg to stand on. They could get his estranged wife to testify that he’d never even told her about the daughter he never wanted. They could get a third party to handle any negotiations without Addison having to speak with him directly. He’d heard of people doing that. The lawyers could handle all the negotiating without her ever having to speak with him. AJ was making it perfectly clear. It’d be the only way he’d put up with any kind of relationship she might have with Fred.

  “I know it sounds unreasonable, but I’m just being honest with you. There’s ways of dealing with this fucker in your life.” Addison could hear the conviction in his voice. He was breathing hard, and she could almost picture him pacing madly. “We both know the only thing he wants, and it has nothing to do with Clair. He’s just using her, and I ain’t fucking having it.”

  The other line had since stopped beeping, but she heard another beep and knew it was a text. Without telling AJ, she checked it.

  I’ve agreed to be part of the post-game press conference. You know what they’ll be asking. Answer your phone unless you want me to tell them exactly why that fucking animal did what he did. You can’t seriously expect me to be okay with him around MY daughter.

  When her other line beeped again, Addison refrained from gasping. She was afraid AJ would pick up on her anxiousness. How could this possibly be getting worse?

  “I have another call,” she said, interrupting AJ. “I have to take it.”

  “From who? Fred?”

  His words were laced with such anger—such disgust—her response flew out before she could think about it. “My lawyer,” she said.

  “Swear on Clair it’s not that fucker on the other line.” Addison’s silence was all it took.

  “Why are you lying to me?” he asked, raising his voice. “What else have you lied about?”

  “Nothing else,” she said anxiously. “I’m sorry. It is him, but you were already so upset—”

  “You take his call; don’t call me back.”

  Addison closed her eyes, feeling the hot tears burn her eyes. “I have to take it,” she whispered.

  The line clicked and he was gone. She stood there, frozen, the tears dripping down her cheeks, as the stadium suddenly went wild. Someone scored or something big was happening on the field, and she had zero interest. With AJ off the phone now, her phone automatically clicked over to Fred.

  “Addison?” he sounded worked up too, but nowhere near as worked up as AJ had been.

  “We need to talk,” she said, squeezing her phone as hard as she did her eyes shut.

  She hadn’t planned on having this conversation with Fred this soon, and she’d planned on telling AJ about this first, but under the circumstances, she had no choice. Addison needed to regain a little control of this situation that was so out of hand now.

  “In person,” he said.

  “Fine. But if you reveal anything about Clair or why you and AJ got into it on the field, other than it was something game-related, the only way you and I will ever communicate again is via our lawyers, understood?”

  “Agreed. But I wanna see you tonight after the press conference.”

  Taking a deep breath, she knew just how angry AJ would be about this and what taking Fred’s call alone might have already cost her. She’d be taking several risks, both with AJ and Fred. But they were risks she was willing to take for the sake of her daughter. Addison could only pray now that both the aces in her pocket would pay off in the end. The finality she heard in AJ’s voice tonight was like none she’d ever heard from him before. It was what scared her most. Even her ace might not be good enough to make him get over her ignoring his ultimatum and her going to meet with Fred on the very night of their epic public brawl, especially since she was certain those leaked pictures were all Fred’s doing.

  Addison had every intention of telling AJ about this. If he ever forgave her for this, there’d be no more lies or even secrets between them. She just knew she had a better chance of being forgiven if he heard about it straight from her first. “I’ll meet with you tonight, Fred, but know this. If any photos of us meeting tonight get leaked, tonight will be the last time you hear my voice outside a courthouse. If I hear so much as a rumor that you and I met tonight, the next time you wanna talk to me about anything you’ll have to go through my lawyers. They’re already on standby; it’s all about how you decide to handle this.”

  It was how she hoped things would be in the end, especially now that AJ had made it so clear that it’d be the only way he’d deal with this. She just needed Fred to think for now that if he behaved and didn’t pull any stunts after tonight he still had a chance to continue with his infuriating requests.

  Her last requirement for agreeing to meet with him tonight, she also added with the same threat about her lawyers. “Cover up that ridiculous tattoo during the press conference, will you?”

  ~~~

  Not only did Fred comply with her wishes of not saying anything she wouldn’t want him to at the press conference, he didn’t even show up to it. At first, Addison thought it was a good-faith gesture on his part. He was going the extra mile to show her he meant what he’d said on the phone call Clair overheard her on earlier. He really did have her and Clair’s best interest in mind when he insisted he just wanted to be a part of their lives.

  He’d even shown up at the riverfront pedestrian trail she asked him to meet her at, wearing a sweatshirt with the hoodie up over his head. Even if he didn’t do anything stupid like have someone follow them and take photos, she didn’t want to take a chance of anyone recognizing him and taking their own photos they might leak. It was a lot colder in St Louis than it was in San Diego this time of year, so a sweatshirt with a hoodie made perfect sense. She’d been beyond relieved that, even while she knew it was him when he first got out of the car that dropped him off, she wouldn’t have recognized him otherwise.

  Then he got close enough for Addison to see the real reason why he’d likely called off the press conference and why he was all covered up now. His face was a mess. He had a fat lip ripped in two places and a knot on one of his temples that was beginning to swell around his eye. It wasn’t too bad, but it was bad enough that she could see why he wouldn’t want to gi
ve a closeup interview on national television that would end up on YouTube forever.

  Addison felt a little evil for not feeling any sympathy for him, but she still asked if he was okay. “I’m fine,” he said. “Goes with the territory. Not the first brawl I’ve been in; won’t be the last.”

  She only hoped he didn’t mean there’d be more this series. Yet knowing how angry AJ was, she knew the possibility of that was still too real, which was why she needed to do this now and then hopefully get back to AJ as soon as possible. Before the fourth game back in San Diego. Before he could step foot on that field with Fred again.

  “I’m glad you agreed to meet me tonight,” Fred said as they started down the river trail. “For the record, he started everything that happened tonight.”

  “Oh really?” she asked, already annoyed, and this conversation had just started. “He knew nothing about you being Clair’s dad. He hasn’t even talked about the incident at the ESPYs. Why would he start anything?”

  “He made a smartass remark and it pissed me off.”

  Addison stopped on the spot. “Is that really how all that ugliness started? Because he made a smartass remark? Something you do every five minutes when you’re on the field, I’m sure.”

  “After the argument you and I had earlier, I just wasn’t in the mood and I snapped.”

  “So you had to tell him about being Clair’s dad.” She stared at him, worried about the very thing she’d worried about up in the stands. “Did anyone else hear you? Who else knows?”

  “I didn’t tell him shit. He saw the tattoo and figured it out.”

  That made Addison’s heart spike. “Has anyone else seen that stupid tattoo?”

  “I haven’t shown anyone, but someone may’ve seen it. Doesn’t mean they’ll know what it means. Like I said before, she’s not the only Clair in the world.”

  Feeling the heat rise up her neck and into her face, Addison decided she wouldn’t try and play nice and prolong this conversation. She couldn’t stand there, looking at him anymore. She pulled her ace out of the front pocket of her own hoodie and handed it to him.