Fire & Flesh

by Kerri Carr

  After Lucas left, Kara felt like she was being pulled into two different directions. She wanted her mother to be happy, but she also knew that Lucas was right. Could she live with herself knowing that she might have given up her chance at actually finding love? Needing to clear her head, she decided to take a walk. She walked up the stairs and called out, “Mom, I’m stepping out for a bit.” Her mother didn’t respond, but Kara could hear her singing in the shower. Turning on her heel, she hurried down the stairs and slammed the front door shut behind her. She walked past familiar coffee shops and bars, and before she knew it, she found herself standing outside Aria’s house. The minute she realized it, she shook her head and smiled ironically to herself.

  She had stopped being friends with Aria a year into college, when she realized that Aria had a very different worldview from hers. Aria had gone off to college in California, while Kara went to New York, and after all the stresses of a long-distance friendship as well as their constantly differing opinions, the two drifted apart and hadn’t spoken in almost three years. Aria was probably at college right now, and had no idea that Kara’s mother was getting married, or that Kara would be standing outside her childhood house right now, thinking about the past.

  Kara realized that this was the exact place where she had first met Adam, and she shook her head. Everything in this little town was so interlinked that no matter what she did, she would never be able to escape his presence. It was almost as though she had spoken too soon because the minute she turned around to walk back home, a car honked at her and she glared angrily at it until she realized it was Harry, and right next to him, in the passenger seat sat Adam. “Hey- what are you doing out here? It’s so cold and you’re all alone,” he rolled down his window and called out. Kara smiled and shrugged as she said, “I just went out for a walk- I should be heading home.” Harry shook his head and yelled out, “Don’t be ridiculous, get in- I’ll give you a lift.”

  Kara considered saying no, but she didn’t want to be rude so she smiled and climbed into the backseat of the car. “Hi Kara,” Adam cheerfully said from the front seat and Kara greeted him, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice. “You know Kara, I was actually headed to your house anyway,” Harry said pleasantly, “Margo and I have a meeting with the wedding planner, and Adam’s going for a wine tasting to pick some good ones out for the wedding. Hey-” he suddenly turned around to face her, “why don’t you go along with him?” Kara felt her cheeks burning and she quickly shook her head as she said, “No- I don’t want to be a bother.” Harry turned back to the road and said, “Of course you’re not a bother, you’re family now- it’ll be nice, come on.”

  Kara glanced down at her large grey sweater and said, “I’m not even dressed for a wine tasting- I don’t think-” but before she could finish, Adam quietly said, “You look lovely.” Harry nodded emphatically at her in the rear view mirror and said, “Honestly, Kara- you’ll have fun. And to be truthful, I don’t really trust Adam, so you would potentially be saving our wedding.” Kara laughed and nodded, “Alright, if you don’t mind, Adam.” She looked at him but he didn’t turn back at all as he said, “Not at all- it will be nice to have company.” They drove to her house, where Kara quickly ran up to her room, undid her ponytail, and changed into a black off-the-shoulder dress. She put on some eyeliner and red lipstick before running back downstairs, where Harry and Adam were waiting.

  Margo emerged from her room and looked at Kara with mild surprise as she said, “Oh- I didn’t know you were joining us.” Harry shook his head and explained that they were going to drop Kara and Adam off on the way. They all walked back to the car, and this Margo joined Harry in the front, while Adam and Kara sat silently next to each other in the backseat. Adam smiled whenever she looked at him, but he didn’t say a word the whole way, and Kara wondered whether she had made a mistake by joining him.

  *****

  After Harry and Margo drove off, Kara wrapped her arms around herself and shivered slightly in the night air. “Shall we go in?” Adam said pleasantly, and she nodded, following him into the quaint little wine shop with a tasting terrace set up with tables and fairy lights. “This is nice,” Kara said appreciatively and Adam nodded, “Yeah, it’s my father’s favorite place. Should we sit down?” They walked over to a table and a waiter approached them. “Mr. Wentworth, how are you?” He exchanged pleasantries with Adam, and then Adam turned to Kara and said, “This is Kara, Margo’s daughter.” The waiter nodded politely at her and said, “Ah, your new sister.” Kara cringed at the sound of the word, and she looked down at her lap, letting Adam order the first bottle.

  The waiter returned with two glasses, a bottle and a plate of cheese and olives. He poured the wine for Adam and Kara and then tilted the glasses before leaving. “Well, the first step is to assess the color of the wine.” Kara knitted the brows and said, “Yes- it’s a very nice purplish red.” Adam snorted and said, “Oh yes, if it was the color of a tie I’d wear it.” Kara laughed so loudly she was afraid people from surrounding tables would get annoyed with her. She picked up the glass and said, “Can I drink it now?” Adam shook his head, trying to contain his laughter. “First you swirl it- like this- careful, don’t spill it.” Kara’s shoulders were shaking with laughter, and Adam also started laughing. “Smell it now, come on smell it.” Kara buried her nose in the glass and took a long, dramatic sniff.

  Adam laughed and said, “Okay, now you taste it, hold it in your mouth for a second and then spit it out in the spittoon next to you.” Kara opened her eyes wide and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” There was complete silence as everyone around her heard her swearing. Kara felt mortified for a second, but the silence was broken by Adam snorting into his glass with laughter, and the other people turned away slowly, going back to their conversations. Kara felt her cheeks burn as she said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be allowed into fancy places but are you kidding me? We have all this amazing wine and we don’t even drink it?”

  Adam grinned and said, “Alright, if you want, we’ll drink it. But be warned, we have like twelve of them to taste, so you’d better be able to hold your liquor.” Kara raised an eyebrow and said, “Please- I’m a college student in my fourth year, all I do is drink.” Adam laughed and said, “Alright, let’s bring on a chardonnay after this.” Kara raised her glass and said, “You’re on,” before downing it quickly. Adam laughed and asked the waiter to bring the next one. When the next one arrived, they went through the same charade of swirling it and sniffing it before they brought the glasses to their lips and drank. As they breezed through four wines, Kara felt her ears and neck heat up, and she felt more giggly as the evening wore on.

  Adam set down his fifth glass and loosened his tie as he said, “God, when I found out you would be a part of our family I didn’t think it would be this fun. I mean the Kara from high school was a totally different person.” Kara suddenly put down her glass and slowly said, “Wait. I thought you didn’t remember me from high school.” Adam looked up suddenly and a frown spread over his face as he titled his head and said, “Well- I mean- I-” his voice faltered and Kara leaned forward and frowned as she said, “Adam, do you remember?” Adam nodded, loosening his tie further as he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Of course I remember- and today, you were standing right there, outside Aria’s house.”

  Kara’s head started to spin and she hiccupped a little as she asked, “You remember that night?” Adam slammed his fist lightly on the table and leaned forward, clearly drunk as he said, “Look at yourself Kara- how could I have forgotten you? You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and you still are.” He sat back with a strange expression on his face, as though he couldn’t believe he had actually just admitted that to her. Kara stood up suddenly and walked away from him, her head full of confusing images, the night at Aria’s was getting missed up with this one, and she wanted to go back home. She exited the terrace and made her way to the stairwell when Adam came running after her.

 
; “Kara wait- please,” he begged her to stop. She turned and said, “You pretended to not remember me. Why would you do that?” Adam looked at her with a strange expression on his face and he said, “How could I not? After that night at Aria’s, I looked for you at school, and I saw you with Michael Garcia so I just- but I was obsessed with you I thought you were amazing. And when I found out that Margo was your mother, I just had to forget about it, or pretend to, for my own sanity. And you acted like you didn’t remember either, so I thought maybe-” he trailed off and Kara shook her head. “I never forgot,” she stepped closer to him and said, “Not once.”

  Before either of them knew what was happening, they had stepped so close that Adam could reach out and wipe the small tear in the corner of Kara’s eye. Instead, he cupped her face in his hands and moved closer. Kara parted her lips just as Adam leaned in to brush his gently against hers. In that stairwell, on that winter night, as the wine swirled in their bodies and made them lose their inhibitions, Adam Wentworth kissed Kara Swan, and it felt like a dream come true.

  *****

  Kara woke up the next morning on the couch in her living room, still in the black dress and makeup from the night before and she groggily reached out for her phone to check the time. It was almost noon, and she had no idea what had happened the night before. Groaning, she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She looked back at her phone and saw that she had received a text from her mom around 2 am telling her not to wait up, since she would stay at Harry’s. Kara sat up and stretched, and tried to remember what time she had gotten home last night. She yawned and covered her mouth, but the minute her fingers touched her lips, she had a vivid flashback.

  Adam was standing on the stairs and she had turned to him and stepped closer and closer until- “Oh God,” Kara whispered and covered her eyes. “No, no, no- please let it have been a dream,” she moaned as she rushed into the bathroom to splash some water on her face. The moment she saw her lipstick smeared all over her mouth she knew. She remembered it all clearly now: the wine, the admission, and the kiss. She wracked her brain, trying to figure out what had happened next but she could only conjure vague blurry images of rushing outside and grabbing a taxi. She washed her makeup off and brushed her teeth, desperately trying to remember.

  When nothing worked, she picked up the phone and dialed Nina. She had to talk to someone about what had happened. She got Nina’s voicemail, and she sank down miserably on the couch. Suddenly, she had a strange idea, and in her moment of desperation, she decided to try it out. Picking up the phone, she scrolled through her contacts and pressed dial, anxiously listening to the dial tone until a familiar voice picked up. “Hello, Lucas? Um, could you meet me right now? I need to talk.”

  He didn’t ask many questions and simply showed up at her doorstep fifteen minutes later. Kara had quickly showered and changed, and was brewing coffee when he arrived. “Hey sis, what’s up?” he cheerily said as Kara pulled open the door and let him in. “I- something happened and I don’t know who else to talk to,” Kara said as she poured out two cups of coffee. Lucas threw his hands up and said, “Whoa- I thought this was about the wedding. Are you okay? What happened?” Kara set down the coffee with shaking hands and said, “Okay, I need you to not freak out, okay?”

  Lucas nodded solemnly and said, “Yeah of course. You can tell me anything.” Kara nodded and took a deep breath before she said, “I have feelings for Adam.” Lucas raised his eyebrows, but true to his word, he didn’t reach much more than that. “I know, okay- I know he’s my step-brother and I shouldn’t have kissed him-” Before she could finish, Lucas jumped up and said, “You kissed him?” Kara glared at him and said, “Lucas you promised.” Lucas sat down again and said, “Yeah- yup, totally not freaking out. Okay- then?” Kara sat down across from him and shrugged, “Then I don’t know- I left and I haven’t spoken to him since.”

  Lucas sighed and said, “He’s liked you for years, Kara. And when we found out, I mean I’ve never been close to Adam, but I know that he felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation. You need to talk to him- I mean, he isn’t your brother yet.” Kara stared at Lucas, and suddenly, she realized he was right. “Lucas- thank you! Do you know where Adam will be right now?” Lucas smirked and said, “He was home when I left.” Kara nodded and quickly hugged Lucas before dashing out of the house and sprinting towards the Wentworth house. She was halfway to the gate when Lucas called out her name and said, “Hey- I can drive you there, you know?” He held up a set of car keys and motioned to his car, parked in the driveway.

  As soon as they entered the gates of the large sprawling mansion, Kara jumped out of the car and ran in, spotting Adam tanning near the pool. She ran through the living room and out the French windows that led to the poolside and she called out, “Adam!” He opened his eyes and sat up, looking around wildly until he spotted Kara and said, “What are you doing here?” She ran straight to him and said, “I- I have to talk to you about what happened last night.”

  Adam glanced down at his bare torso before he said, “Okay- we should go upstairs. Dad and Margo are home- I don’t think they should hear us.” Kara nodded and followed Adam up the stairs and into his bedroom. Kara fidgeted nervously with her hands as Adam closed the door behind them and turned to her with a questioning look on his face. “Adam, did you mean what you said last night? Do you really have feelings for me?” Adam looked alarmed, but he nodded and said, “Since the first time I saw you.” Kara licked her lips and stepped close to him as she said, “I do too and I know that soon, we’re going to be related and there’s nothing we can do about it. I wouldn’t take away my mom’s happiness for anything, but I’m here, and you’re here, and the wedding isn’t going to happen for another two weeks.”

  Adam raised an eyebrow- “What are you saying, Kara?” Kara moved closer and lay her hands flat on Adam’s chest as she said, “I’m saying that you’re not my brother yet.” She reached up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against Adam’s. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him. He pulled away from her and said, “I won’t tell if you don’t.” Kara nodded and said, “Shut up and kiss me.”

  *****

  As Adam felt Kara’s lips on his, all his hesitation melted away and he kissed her- the girl of his dreams. He placed his hands on her waist and led her to the bed, sitting down on the edge and pulling Kara onto his lap. She straddled him and in between kisses, she pulled at her clothes. Adam grabbed the hem of her shirt and she lifted her arms so he could pull it off her and toss it aside. Her perfect breasts were heaving in his face and he looked at her in complete awe as he breathed, “You’re so beautiful.” Kara kissed him wildly and she climbed off him long enough to pull off her pants. Clad only in her underwear, she pushed him so he was laying down on the bed, and then she said, “I wanted to do this since the moment you walked into the dining room.”

  Adam bit his lip and stared as Kara climbed on the bed and lay herself on top of him, the length of her body against his. He put his hands on her back, letting them travel downwards as she kissed him, biting his lip and pulling on it. Kara stopped and gazed down at him- he was the same boy she had seen from across the pool years ago. She stared at his bare torso, at the perfectly sculpted chest and abs, at the thin line of hair traveling from his navel and disappearing into his shorts. Kara stayed like that for a few seconds, her hair hanging over him, like a curtain that separated the two of them from the rest of the world. Adam suddenly grabbed her waist and lifted her up, propping her on his knee as he sat on the edge of the bed.

  He gently kissed her neck, and let his mouth move to her collarbones and her breasts. As he kissed the soft skin, Kara closed her eyes and let out a soft moan. “Kara,” he whispered, and Kara put her arms around his neck, burying her face in his hair. Adam moved so that he could lay Kara down on the bed, and slowly, he removed her panties, sliding them off her long legs. He removed his own shorts, revealing the extent of his desire for her, and then, wordlessly, he
got on top of her, positioning himself between her legs. “You sure about this?” he asked softly, and Kara nodded, “More than anything else,” she said.

  They moved in rhythm, and as Kara took Adam deeper into her, she realized that this was what she wanted for the rest of her life. Kara arched her back, and Adam moved faster, their bodies in perfect synchronization. When they were done, Adam lay flat on his back next to Kara and the two of them tried to catch their breath. Suddenly, both Adam and Kara’s phones buzzed at the same time, and curious, they glanced at each other before they checked. Lucas had texted them both the same thing: Don’t come out. Kara sat up and turned to Adam with a confused expression on her face, but a second later, they heard a familiar laugh from downstairs- Margo.

  “Oh shit,” Kara mouthed, as she jumped out of bed and started pulling on her clothes. Adam gently held her by the wrist and pulled her to him. “It’s okay,” he whispered “we have to stay inside anyway- what’s the rush?” Kara stared at Adam incredulously for a moment, and then suddenly a wide smile spread across her face as she realized that she was trapped in a room with Adam Wentworth, and the only thing left to do was to have sex again.

  *****

  Kara sat on the edge of the bed, fully clothed and waited until Lucas texted her to come out. She could hear the water running in the attached bathroom as Adam took a shower. She was growing more and more anxious as she waited for the all-clear signal, and left alone with her out-of-control thoughts, she kept returning to the fact that what she felt for Adam was wrong- but it felt so right. She closed her eyes, her hands reaching up to her breasts, where she could still feel the light bruises Adam’s mouth had left there on her skin. If something felt this right, then how could it possibly be wrong? Kara’s phone buzzed and she lunged for it, quickly checking to see if it was Lucas. He had texted: They’ve left.