Loving my Billionaire Stepbrother's Baby

by Emilia Beaumont

  I sighed and let her crawl up into my arms, letting my heart swell. The last time Leah had tried to do this Becky had whisked her away worried that Leah would kick me accidentally in the wrong place and undo all the healing progress. I waited for her to do the same today, but instead Becky just lingered.

  “Have you seen your baby brother today, Leah?” I asked. And she quickly shook her head. “Becky, would you mind bringing in the baby, please,” I asked nicely, hating the fact that I had to ask at all.

  “The baby won’t be awake yet—”

  “Can you go see? Now,” I said sharply.

  She paused before answering, then thought better of it and nodded, quickly leaving room.

  “What do you think we should call him?” I couldn’t believe we still hadn’t named him. The poor thing was stuck being called the baby or the little one but with Drake being practically absent I couldn’t just pick one without him.

  “Bug! Bug-bug!” she said with glee, like it was the best name ever.

  “Well you can call him that, I’m sure he’ll love it,” I said laughing. I winced at the sharp pain that stabbed at me from the inside.

  There were so many names rolling around in my head, but not one of them seemed to fit him. I needed more time with him, in my arms; we needed to bond, get to know each other but just like his father I’d barely seen him. When I was awake, he was asleep, and Becky refused to wake him… I couldn’t go to him yet, my legs too weak to hold me up. And then if he was awake, I was knocked out.

  I’d told both Alice, the nurse, and Becky to wake me up. Insisted upon it. I didn’t care, sleep deprivation would be worth it if I could only have him in my arms for a few minutes. But I knew they’d ignored my orders. They hadn’t ever woken me up.

  Time seemed to have been slipping away from each of us, and I feared the longer I was stuck in that godforsaken bed, the longer I would continue to feel that emptiness. I needed time with him, but they were doing everything to keep him from me. I knew I loved the baby… knew the feelings were buried deep inside somewhere but they just hadn’t made their appearance yet. All those stories from other mothers, of that instant connection between themselves and their newborns made me acutely jealous.

  Becky came back into the room holding my boy. “He just woke up. Luckily,” she said, the last word escaping under her breath. God I wanted to slap her petulant face.

  “Give him to me,” I demanded.

  “While you have Leah?”

  “I’m not going to ask again, Becky.”

  “Very well,” she said and moved to the other side of the bed. With Leah nestled under one arm, I held out the other so I could have both my children by me.

  “Careful,” Becky said as I shifted my body weight slightly. But the baby was safe, cradled against my breast. God did she think I was some sort of amateur?

  Now if she could only kindly fuck off and leave us be for a few precious moments then I could pretend the nightmare of a week was a distant memory.

  Concentrating back upon the baby and the contented Leah by my side I realised all we were missing was Drake. It was a shame he had to miss moments like these.

  I closed my eyes and breathed in their calming scent. I wouldn’t let myself get upset.

  For a second all was perfect with the world.

  Then baby started crying and my eyes sprang open. I could’ve sworn I saw Becky smirk a told-you-so smile. She leapt to her feet from the chair where she’d been watching us and fussed around the baby, hovering over me.

  Attempting to rock him back and forth was a little difficult in my awkward position but I tried anyway. Not wanting to give him back so easily.

  Shushing him did nothing to ease his cries, and Leah flattened her little hands against her ears. “Stop. Loud, Mommy!” she whined.

  “I know, I know, sweetie. But babies cry when they need…” I trailed off trying to figure out what was wrong. What did he need? Food? Did he need changing? Anxious thoughts of incompetence whirled all around me, and increased all the more with Becky waiting with eager hands to whisk him away as if she was the only one who knew how to soothe him.

  “Shall I take—”

  “Please go get his bottle for me, Becky,” I said quickly, knowing there was no way I’d be able to get him to breastfeed in this tense state. She hesitated as another wail pierced our ears.

  “Now!”

  She finally moved and came back with a full bottle.

  His little lips quivered with such fierceness as he cried and I allowed a few small drops of the milk to coat their surface to see if he would latch on to the bottle. Please, please take your bottle. Please stop crying.

  But no matter how hard I tried to ease the nub of the bottle into his mouth, he just wasn’t having it.

  “Let me try,” Becky said confidently. My shoulders gave way, sagging under the pressure. I needed to do what was best for him, and if she could get him to feed, then so be it.

  I nodded and within seconds he was whisked from my arms. She didn’t even need to try for too long. It was as if he recognised her touch, her smell, her body. She soothed him and he transformed from a writhing baby to a calming bundle in her arms. He welcomed the bottle and started to suck eagerly upon it.

  She smiled and cooed at him as she swayed him gently as he fed, pacing back and forth, taunting me, at the foot of my bed.

  I bit my tongue to hold back the tears. Then when that wasn’t good enough to keep them at bay, I sank my teeth into the flesh of my bottom lip. The tremble of my lips echoed the pain that was happening inside my chest, the feel of my heart shuddering, getting ready to break.

  She had no problems with him. He settled down and all I could do was look at them with a hollow emptiness spreading rapidly throughout me.

  “I’ll take him back to the nursery,” she said after he was done and burped. I couldn’t find the voice to tell her no, wanting her gone so I could cry in private. “Come on, Leah, let’s give your mom some rest.” Trying to keep my face as perfectly neutral as I could I gave Leah a kiss and Becky helped her down.

  Leah gave me a small wave, then just like that, they were gone again.

  “I want her out of here, Drake. I want both of them, Becky and Alice, gone!”

  He’d just gotten home. I checked the time and it was way past ten o’clock. He rubbed his temples and blinked his exhausted, red-rimmed eyes at me.

  “Whatever for? Why Becky? She’s good with the kids—”

  “How would you know, you’re never here!”

  “Vi, I have to be there, you should know that better than—”

  “No. You should be here with us, with me.” I heard my voice pitch up into a whine and winced internally. I wasn’t going to get my own way acting like a nagging, neglected, spoiled wife, but I couldn’t stop. The frustrations that had been accumulating over the last few days were all spilling out, and their only target was Drake.

  He sighed, but didn’t come close. Preferring to keep a safe distance from the crazy new mother in the bed.

  “Tell me what’s she’s done.”

  “I don’t need to, please just trust me. I can’t have her here any longer. She’s driving me crazy.”

  My hands found their way to my face, trying desperately to hide the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

  “Vi, what’s wrong?” I felt him move, his body near me, and all I wanted to do was crawl into his arms and let myself drift away, to feel safe and happy once again. Everything within me had gotten so mixed up, so complicated. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

  Sobs wracked my body, I didn’t have it in my heart to tell him how low I’d been feeling, he would only worry more and insist the evil cow of a nanny would stay, to give me support. I couldn’t have that.

  “I’m okay,” I said trying to wave the tears away. “Just a little emotional. I hate being stuck in this bed.”

  He grimaced. “I know. Not long now, though.”

  “So, will you fire her
?”

  He took me in his arms and tucked me under his chin. “I would do anything for you, you know that right?”

  I nodded and hugged him back.

  “I’d even ride naked on the London Eye for you.”

  I chuckled, the randomness of his words making me smile. “I might take you up on that one day, just you know to see if you would.”

  “Mark it in the calendar,” he said and ran his fingers through my hair. “You have to promise me one thing, because you’re still recovering you have to find a replacement nanny. One who you approve of. I’ll get you the contacts for the agencies and you can do some interviews, if you’re feeling up to it? And in the meantime we can ask Aunty Siggy to help out? She’s been dying to see you both.”

  I thought about his counter-offer, running it through my mind as I picked at the dry skin edging my nails. The ultimate goal would be to have no one else looking after my kids. That job lay with me. But when needs must, I had to think of them. Sigrid would be wonderful with the children. And though when I’d first met her, which seemed like years ago, I was acutely jealous of her, now she was my closest friend. She was no Becky or an evil nanny straight out of a Victorian tale, she would support me and not make me feel like a failure.

  “Sounds good. I can do that. But only if she wants to.”

  “Good and she won’t mind, she’ll probably thank me. It’ll give her an excuse to take a break from the business,” he said and let out the breath he seemed to have been holding. He squeezed me tighter and I lost myself in his embrace.

  After all these days it felt wondrous to be in his arms again and I didn’t want him to let go. But I knew from his weary eyes and the shadows that edged them that he needed sleep, too.

  “Do you have to go in tomorrow?” I asked with soft optimism that maybe one day he could stay for longer than a few minutes.

  His chest expanded, billowing out against my back and a long, controlled, drawn-out breath passed by my ear. “At least for a few hours.”

  “Will you promise to be home so we can at least name our baby? He needs a name, Drake. He’s nearly two weeks old…”

  “I know, hun. We’ve not done too well this week have we?”

  Understatement of the year.

  I shook my head.

  “How about we just do it now?”

  “We can’t, he’s sleeping. We can’t wake him up, he’ll be cranky for the rest of the month knowing him,” I said with a regretful smile.

  “Tomorrow it is then. Just you, me, Leah, and our son. We’ll be together like a proper family.”

  Chapter Four

  Drake was true to his word the next morning I saw no sign of Becky—he’d asked Sigrid to help us out for a few days, and only Alice remained. She was a little less friendly than she had been, but that wasn’t saying much, she wasn’t exactly the warmest nurse I’d met. I actually longed for the nice one who had been by my side during my whole ordeal in the hospital.

  “Today’s the day we’re going to get you out of that bed. But you have to do what I say, understand?”

  I nodded eagerly, I couldn’t wait. It felt like each notch of my spine had tiny little kinks and rivets embedded into it. I needed a good massage or preferably a new spine, but hopefully a little bit of walking, stretching my muscles, and some much-needed activity would have me back to my old self in no time.

  “Okay, were going to take this slow. So, don’t think you can start running about.”

  I nodded again, anxious to get started. The sooner we did the sooner I’d be able to look after kids properly again and get this woman out of my house.

  My feet were sluggish, and felt like they’d been filled with lead, but after a few steps, leaning on Alice, I began to move on my own around the room. Slow and steady may win the race but Alice wasn’t going to confine me to that miserable room anymore. Luckily she didn’t protest when I reached the door and managed to open it, but she was a couple of steps behind me, ready in case I fell.

  It was hard work and I could already feel my breath becoming shallow. Tiny patches of perspiration clung to my skin. But down the hallway and off into the distance I could hear the happy sounds of Leah and Drake! Warmth spread across my chest and I smiled, he hadn’t gone to work yet, or had come back early. Maybe he’d finally realised I needed him here. He could have anyone do the work he was doing, and I knew there was an aspect of pride that kept him going in to oversee everything, but he belonged here. At least for a few weeks…

  As I silently and slowly made my way down the hall and into the living room, pausing and leaning upon a wall, or bit of furniture, every so often to catch my breath, I suddenly stopped and took in the scene before me.

  My throat quickly thickened around a hard lump that had magically summoned itself as I let my gaze fall upon the serene, happy family before me. Drake had Leah on his hip as she chattered to him, while Sigrid—magnificent-looking Sigrid—had the baby in her arms and bustled around the kitchen like it was her own, a wide smile upon her face. They all looked so happy… without me. Even the baby wasn’t crying, he was content in my best friend’s arms as she prepared his bottle singlehandedly. And the way Drake’s eyes crinkled with laughter as he looked to Sigrid when Leah said something cute or funny broke my heart.

  That should be me.

  As the seconds passed with me going unnoticed, I glanced down at the ragged and unkempt woman I’d become. God, I was a mess. I hadn’t even brushed my hair let alone thought about putting on any makeup.

  A hand fell upon my shoulder. “Mrs. Millar? Viola? Are you okay?” Alice asked causing my family in the kitchen to look over and see me.

  Irrationally the word “imposter” skimmed the forefront of my mind. They didn’t need me… I didn’t belong there.

  Drake readjusted Leah on his hip and came from around the counter. “You’re up!” he said with a relief-filled smile. “Come join us, we’re making breakfast.”

  Without much choice I did what he asked and gratefully sat on the stool he pulled out for me. “Here sit.”

  “So good to see you, hun,” Sigrid said coming to give me a kiss on the cheek as she fed the baby. He sucked eagerly on the bottle, his little hands pulsing in and out. “Here’s your mommy,” she said and offered him to me. I could’ve cried right there and then. I thought I was going to have to beg.

  Silently I nodded; she beamed and handed him over. I’d almost forgotten what he looked and smelled like, and breathed in his sweetness. But it was as if Sigrid had just passed me a big loaf of warm bread, or someone else’s baby, because he didn’t feel like mine. I didn’t recognise any of his subtly changing features, except for his eyes.

  He was already heavier than I remembered, too, or maybe I was weaker. Our moments together in the past had been fleeting, I hadn’t had the chance to study him, to know the every curve of his cheeks or the shape of his tiny mouth.

  Again, I waited for the swelling of my heart. As I watched him sucking on his breakfast, I knew that I loved him, so why wasn’t it presenting itself? The elusive emotions, the ones that I actually wanted to appear, were hiding.

  “Vi? Are you sure you’re okay?” Sigrid asked with concern.

  “I’m fine,” I said baring a false smile. Unwelcome thoughts penetrated through the layers and layers of debris I’d buried them under. Had this been how my mother felt before she’d abandoned me? Was this how it all started? I hadn’t been enough to make her stay?

  “Right, best I get off to work then and leave you ladies to it.”

  “You’re going already?” I asked, pulled out of my reverie by his words. “Can’t you stay a little longer? I barely got to see you.”

  Drake grabbed for the silk tie that had been on one of the polished kitchen counters and slipped it around his neck. He proceeded to fasten it, making it clear that no matter how much I begged he’d already made up his mind to go.

  “I won’t be gone too long. I’ll be back before you know it. Then we can all have a nice di
nner and figure out what to name the little guy. Hope you have your list and vetoes ready.”

  There was no point fighting, so I sulked instead. Drake took my solemn silence as being happy with the outcome and continued to fix up his tie.

  “Wait a minute,” Sigrid said. I looked up as a blossom of hope began to form in my mind. She was going to call him out on his workaholic nonsense and tell him to stay—she was going to say what I couldn’t.

  But as she walked toward him her hands reached out and fiddled with the silk knot at his throat.

  “You’re all crooked. Hold still.”

  She proceeded to fix his appearance and then with a flash of a smile gave his chest and tie a smoothing pat. “All done.”

  “Cheers, what would I do without you, eh?” he said. I knew it was a joke, an inconsequential intimate moment between friends, she had, after all, been his assistant for god knows how many years, but the words he’d chosen to thank her with stung like hot daggers in my heart.

  Drake pecked me on the forehead, pressed two fingers to his lips and placed them in contact with the baby’s cheek. “And you my sweet girl,” he crooned to Leah, “you be a good girl for Sigrid and your mom, okay?”

  “No!” she said, enjoying the sound of the new word she’d recently learned. She stamped her little feet.

  “Well I tried,” he said giving both Sigrid and I a look of helplessness then placed Leah in her plastic activity mobile.

  “Go, go. We’ll be fine.” Sigrid said, her heels clacking against the tiled floor, ushering him out of the kitchen. She then started to clean up the breakfast bowls and items.

  “You don’t need to do that, Siggy.”

  “I do not mind. You sit and rest.”

  “I’ve been resting too much lately. Had enough of resting.”

  “Yes, but you need it.” She had a point.

  “Fine. But let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

  “You must be hungry,” she said and pushed a plate piled full of pastries toward me. “Let me burp the baby so you can eat.”

  With a groaning belly I gave in and handed him over and started to nibble on a croissant. At least he wasn’t crying anymore when I held him—that was some progress, I thought. Or maybe it was just blind luck.