In a whisper he asked, “What exactly do you think you’ll find in here?”
I merely pointed with my other hand, the free one, to the outline of the figure that was still there under the duvet. I had thought that maybe him pushing me, herding me effectively toward the floor-to-ceiling glass windows in the living room would’ve given Sigrid ample opportunity to sneak out of the bedroom unseen. A decoy. Especially since there was no line of sight from where he’d cornered me. There was no way I could’ve seen her slip away and perhaps hide in one of the room farther down the hallway. But no, she mustn’t have been disturbed. She still lay in the bed and Drake was about to remove the covers and let everything come crashing down.
He tugged me closer to the side of the bed, his hand reaching out ever so carefully to grasp the edge of the duvet. He pulled it back inch by inch.
A dark sprawl of wild hair was fanned out on the mattress. For a second I was confused. Was the light playing tricks with my mind? Sigrid’s hair was blonde. Was the dimness making it seem like she had darker hair? Or did he have another woman in his bed—someone I’d never met?
Drake peeled the cover back a little further till the head and the tops of a small body were revealed. She was in her dinosaur pyjamas, her thumb firmly stuck in her mouth. Blissfully unaware, in a deep sleep, that anything unusual was going on around her.
Drake dropped my wrist and my hands went to my mouth to muffle the gasp and the eventually tears of relief.
He gently placed the cover back over the top of her. She’d always liked snuggling right down in the bed. I used to wonder how on earth she could breath under the thick covers. I tried it once, I remembered as we lay together after reading a bedtime story. The stifling hotness was too much to bear and I’d popped my head back out in the cool air. But Leah, she would stay under the covers for hours. Sometimes the whole night.
Drake guided me out of the room and closed the door again.
“So you’re not having an affair?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed and he shook his head.
“Are you sure?” I asked, needing to hear him speak the words.
He stayed silent as his eyebrows knitted into a frown. He pushed me away from the door, across the hallway, and up against the opposite wall.
“Drake?”
His strong grip released from my upper arms and then his hands were on my face. Cupping it gently but firmly.
He leaned in and keeping my head firmly locked in place his lips descended upon mine. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d kissed. But I remembered our first all those years ago in that cupboard, surrounded by coats. This was different somehow. I was so shocked by the contact my own lips didn’t move at first. I’m not used to this, I thought. But an ember deep inside me glowed as he prolonged the kiss, encouraging me to relax, to open up, to let him explore.
I let him in and felt his tongue move over mine. He clutched my face tighter, deepening this kiss. A small moan escaped from around his lips. More like a growl. Then suddenly I was hyper-aware of my entire body. The coating on my tongue, the stickiness of my hair. The lack of deodorant I’d failed to put on that day. But he was pressing up against me, wanting me to kiss him back. I could feel him get hard through his pyjama bottoms.
I wanted to be excited. Drake was kissing me again. He wanted me. That was clearly evident by what was going on down below. And I knew I should’ve been feeling all sorts of things, the same burning desire, but it was as if the flame had been turned down low. It barely flickered.
I lifted my arms and placed my palms flat against his naked, broad, and still-very-defined chest, and gave him a slight push.
He broke the kiss and glanced at me, a question in his eyes.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
I didn’t want to believe that it could all be a ruse. That he was doing it to distract me, to make me forget all the warning signs I’d been picking up on. So what that Leah had made her way into her Daddy’s bed tonight? That didn’t account for all the other nights that she stayed in her own room. She was good like that. The baby must’ve disturbed her so much Drake had let her into the bed for comfort. So what that Sigrid had gone home that night? Perhaps they’d gotten lucky this time.
“I thought I didn’t need to.”
“You do.”
“You trust me so little?”
“Why won’t you just answer the question, Drake?”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe you are actually asking me this.” There was a slight catch in his voice. He looked away. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “After all we’ve been through and—”
“Just answer the damn question!”
Chapter Nine
“No.”
“No, what?”
No he wasn’t having an affair and sleeping with Sigrid? Or no he wouldn’t answer the question?
Drake closed his eyes and stepped away from me. He looked sad and tired. Without replying to my burning question he shook his head, turned, and disappeared back into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
I took a step forward, wanting to follow, needing to know the answer. But it was like there was an invisible force field stopping me from getting there. I couldn’t break through the barrier and make my legs move. He was done. The conversation was evidently over and he was going to go back to bed. He’d be gone again in a few hours. He probably did need his sleep but where on earth did that leave me?
Still without concrete answers. Still with lingering doubts that wanted to drag me down.
I did the only thing I could do, I retreated like a coward and went back to my own room and lay down. That much my legs allowed me do. I stared at the high ceiling for as long as I could remember, letting quiet tears drip down the side of my face, gravity pulling them close to my ears and pooling around my head on the pillow.
Sigrid was back again in the morning. She was warming up a bottle as I entered the kitchen and she gave me a hesitant smile.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Did you talk to Drake before he left this morning?” I had to know if he’d told her of my suspicions. Maybe she would tell me the truth. It would be the decent thing she could do, and Sigrid had always been honest with me… well, up to a point.
“Of course.”
She turned from the counter to rinse some items in the sink. Avoiding looking at me, I decided. Evidence of a guilty conscience.
God, I wish they would just say it. Get it over and done with instead of leaving me to wonder; driving myself insane.
“What did he say?” I pushed for more.
“Well, he wanted me to do something. But I’m not sure if it’s for the best right now.”
“Do what? Why isn’t it for the best? It’s probably not going to be the right time ever.”
She frowned and stood across from me.
“I don’t think you could handle it, is all. And we shouldn’t go ahead anymore.”
It was my turn to frown. Had they been planning this all along? When did they get together? How could I have missed it? It must’ve been when I was still pregnant. Yes, the sex had dropped off a little near the end, but we had been good. We’d been happy. Drake was so excited and I thought that excitement was a result of us, and our little boy who was about to come into the world. But perhaps he’d been happy and over the moon for another reason. A sudden jolt of newness he’d experienced with another woman. The jittery giddiness one only felt when one started a new relationship. When one was full of insane happiness that no matter what one just couldn’t hide.
Though they’d done well to keep it a secret for that long, I granted them. I’d been totally blind. Concentrating on getting prepared for the baby. Making sure I was still eating right, doing my exercises, and getting the room ready. All the while Drake had been getting ready to move on.
“Tell me. Just get it over and done with,” I said sadly. I couldn’t bear it any longer. If they wanted to be with each
other there was nothing in my power that I could do to stop them.
She opened her mouth to start. Here it comes, I thought; the moment where my life comes tumbling down, like a hastily tower of stacked, flimsy cards.
“Okay. We’ve been planning it for months. Doing it behind your back for ages. I didn’t want to, I wanted to tell you—”
My face dropped and I could feel it drain of all my blood; going white.
“Vi? Oh, god, sit down before you faint.”
She came around the counter and eased me onto the stool. I braced myself against the counter and tried to shake her off. “Leave me alone.”
“No.”
“Sigrid, how could you do this to me? I thought we were friends.”
She blinked rapidly, not understanding my words.
“We are. I am your friend. And I always will be—”
I snorted. “You think we’re still going to be friends after you’ve been sleeping with my husband?”
She took a step back as if I’d slapped her. I really wanted to, but feared doing any such thing would make me fall to the floor. Besides, I didn’t have the strength anyway.
“I am not!” she said very slowly and clearly.
“You just said so! You just admitted it!”
She shook her head. “Oh my god. No, you misunderstand. Is that what you really think? I can’t believe this.”
“Sigrid,” I said through gritted teeth, “you just said you’ve been doing it behind my back for ages. And even when I asked Drake he wouldn’t give me a straight answer! And instead he got you to do his dirty work for him!”
“Vi, please. Listen to me. I am not sleeping with your husband. I swear it.”
I looked down at the counter, was she really going to deny it now? Back out of what she’d been telling me? This was some cruel and unusual punishment that was for sure. I lifted my head, determined not to let her gaslight me.
“Then what have you been doing with Drake behind my back?” I spat, staring at her. Daring her to lie and twist the truth again.
“Planning your baby shower!” she said her hands going up into the air.
“What?”
“It was meant to be a surprise. We didn’t get to do a proper one when you were pregnant, not really. And I was going to cancel but Drake said not to. He said it would do you some good to get you out of the house.”
“I don’t understand.” I didn’t know what to trust anymore. I’d seen them together, the intimate little moments; laughing together, small little touches, flickering glances that made each of them smile. I hadn’t made all that up, I knew I hadn’t. Or had my mind twisted them into what I wanted to see?
“I don’t either,” she said softly and sat on the stool beside me. “What on earth would you make me think I would do that to you? How could you think that Drake would ever cheat on you?”
“Oh, shit,” I said and brought my hands to my face.
“Vi? Tell me,” she urged with her gentle voice.
“I thought, you and him,” I replied in between the sobs. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. She let me cry it out, waited till I couldn’t cry anymore.
“I’m so sorry,” I said wiping my face after she let me go.
“What for?” she said and handed me a tissue.
“For accusing you, I don’t know where my head is at lately.”
She gave a sad, worried smile and took my hand. “It’s bound to be after what you went through. But I promise you I would never ever do anything like that, okay?”
I nodded.
Silence drifted into the room as we both held hands, not knowing if there was anything else to say. Not knowing if the damage could be repaired.
“So, you were planning a baby shower for me?” I asked hesitantly.
Sigrid’s face turned bright and she nodded. “But I don’t think it’s a good time…”
“When’s it for?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe we should do it? I know you’ve probably gone to a lot of trouble, it’ll be a shame to cancel it. And maybe Drake is right, maybe I do need to get out of these four walls? I think I might’ve been going a little stir crazy.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into it. Or have it be something you don’t want to do, like that stupid welcome home party.”
I squeezed her hand. “It’s okay. But yes, I want to. Though under one condition.”
“Name it.”
“Well, two things. Forgive me? And can you help me?”
“Already done. Help with what?”
“Everything… just look at me. My hair, my nails, my face… clothes. Everything.”
She got a wild glint in her eye and nodded. “We’ll have you feeling and looking like your old self in no time. Give me a few minutes to make some calls and get us some appointments, and we’ll get started right away.”
Barbara, my mother-in-law, arrived to look after Leah and the baby. Half an hour later we were hurtling down Bond Street, one of the swankiest streets in London. I was ready to be pampered and coiffed and I let Sigrid take control of all the stylistic choices. I was happy for her to treat me like a life-sized Barbie doll if only for a day. It was nice not to have to think, analyse, and worry about every little decision about my appearance. Not that I’d been thinking about it too much at all. I’d been content to wander around the apartment in baggy T-shirts and well-worn pyjama bottoms that didn’t put any stress on my healing incision.
But normally that type of expedition, getting all pampered and dolled-up stressed me out. So, instead I let Sigrid take it all on, let her direct the show just a little bit longer. I also hoped that possibly it would help to repair any damage I’d done to our friendship.
I went into the salon looking like a bedraggled cat that’d been put through the wringer and came out feeling a little closer to normal. My hair had been trimmed, coloured, and styled. I’d almost fallen asleep as the lady who’d washed my hair had also given me one of those exquisite head massages. Next stop Sigrid insisted on dressing me up in comfortable, but very chic clothing. Styles that were very in for the season: wide-legged trousers, with delicate, lacy layers on top, including the softest cashmere cardigan I’d ever touched. She’d managed to make me feel a little bit human again in a matter of a few hours.
And of course, we also shopped for an outfit for the baby shower. More layers, too.
“Perfect,” she said as she helped me get dressed in my room the next day. “And we just have your makeup to do now, come on.”
She led me by the hand, going slowly down the hall, and then veered into Drake’s bedroom. Our bedroom, I tried to remind myself.
“Where do you keep all your makeup?”
“Top drawer of the vanity,” I said, standing awkwardly to the side, my arms wrapped around myself.
“Come on, sit. Let me make you look beautiful.” She regarded me for a moment as I sat down on the plush, wide stool. “Not, that you need much. You’re already gorgeous.”
“Now I know you’re lying.”
“You are! Why must you doubt me? Your colour is coming back. And so is the sparkle in your eyes.”
I rolled my sparkling eyes to mock her and she laughed.
“Okay, chin up.” She tickled my face with a large makeup brush.
Sigrid cleared her throat while she worked. “So, have you spoken to Drake yet?”
“About what?”
“You know… what we talked about the other day.”
I gave a slight shake of my head. “He’s never home, Sigrid. You see him more than I do.”
She sighed and let me continue. “Even if I wanted to apologise he has to be here for me to do it. And even then, I think it’s going to take more than a ‘sorry I accused you of sleeping with my best-friend’ speech to make him forgive me.”
“You still have to try. He’s hurting.”
“He told you that?”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“Trust me. He’s hurting so much right now. And to be honest I don’t think he has a clue what to do about it. But I know the signs; I’ve worked for him for years. Whenever something is bothering him or twisting him up inside he’ll do the only thing he’s good at doing.”
“Work,” I said, suddenly realising.
She nodded. “I think he wants to be here, but he just doesn’t know how.”
“But I’ve told him, I’ve begged him to stay. Why isn’t that enough?”
“I don’t know. Maybe there’s more going on.”
“I thought there was,” I said with a sheepish smile, referring back to when I believed he was having an affair.
“Maybe tonight, after the baby shower. I’ll figure something out to get him back home to you early.”
“Yeah, well just don’t go setting the place on fire.”
She smiled. “No, I know just the thing. Okay, you’re all done. I’ll go get the baby and Leah we’ll get going.”
Without much of an issue; I’d let Sigrid handle the battle of getting the double buggy all set up, we got the baby settled safe inside, then made our way down to the car that was waiting for us by the kerb.
“Fancy,” I said as I held Leah’s hand. “Shall we pretend we’re princesses today?”
Leah tried to say the word then nodded and tugged at her pink dress that was made of tulle and satin.
“That you are, my darling.”
Chapter Ten
Town was teeming. Slowly but surely, with double-deckers bulging their way past, the driver took us down Regent Street with Mayfair on our right and through Piccadilly Circus then west down Piccadilly. Maybe he’d been a taxi driver in a previous life but I could tell he wanted to use his horn, plus he seemed to be doing his very best to take us through the busiest areas of London, to prolong the journey and subsequent fare. Old habits, I guessed.
“Really, where on earth are we going?”
Loving my Billionaire Stepbrother's Baby Page 6