I nodded, “Yes, we will do it together. Where are the kids?”
“They should be right behind me,” he answered looking back toward the still-open door. “Sigrid is getting them out of the car.”
“She came, too?”
“Of course, she was worried.”
Sigrid and Leah appeared in the doorway hand in hand, Sigrid also held a bulky baby carrier and I stood to go meet them all.
Leah ran into my arms. It was so good to see her. I knew it had only been a few days since the last time I’d laid eyes on her, but still with my addled mind convincing and persuading me that I wasn’t ever going to see her again, it was pure relief to have her back where she belonged.
“Mommy,” she said and tucked her head against my chest.
“I missed you, so so much.”
Sigrid gave me a half hug and a sad smile. “Hey you. So this is the famous beach house, huh? It’s a lot nicer than its UK counterpart. No wonder you wanted to get away, it’s raining back in London again.” I laughed and pulled her into a proper hug, trust Sigrid to try and make light of a weird and awkward situation.
“How’s my boy?” I asked her, barely daring to look down at him in the carrier she’d placed on the floor.
“The same. Though I think he missed you. He’s been a little bit more grumpy, more crying. I think he knew you weren’t there. But when we got on the plane, he kinda settled, like he knew he was coming to see you.”
I swallowed and hoped I could make it up to him.
“Well, we’re back together now, aren’t we?” I said as I bent down to see him. He was still perfect; sleeping away in the carrier. Though as if he sensed my movement, he opened his sleepy eyes and stared up at me. I waited for the crying to start, but for once he just gazed at me and I gazed back, smoothing my fingers over his downy cheek.
There was still the lack of a bond, the rush of love hadn’t swept me off my feet just yet—the doctor said the medication would take time to work—but he was still mine, and there was hope again. I was no longer alone.
Drake joined us and towered nearby. “Vi, I think we need to talk,” he said and from my crouching position he silently asked Sigrid and Christine for privacy.
“Come on, Leah,” Christine said taking her hand, “how about we go build a sandcastle?”
Leah nodded eagerly and toddled off with her biological mom. She didn’t yet understand the intricacies of who Christine was, but we previously managed to explain to her that she was a very important lady in Leah’s life, and Leah seemed perfectly content with that for the time being. And though it wasn’t often Christine got to see Leah, it was nice they were able to have this time now, even under the weird circumstances.
“Do you want me to take him?” Sigrid asked, nodding toward the baby.
I shook my head, I wanted him with me. Sigrid offered me a reassuring smile and followed after Christine and Leah outside, leaving Drake and me with the baby, the three of us alone in the room.
As soon as they were gone Drake reached for me and wrapped himself around me. So tightly that I almost couldn’t breathe.
“Why didn’t you tell me what you were going through?”
He released his death grip on me and I gave a little shrug. “I don’t think I would’ve been able to put it into words at the time. It would’ve made no sense. It barely made sense to me. You would’ve had me locked up. I just knew something wasn’t quite right and it seems I mistakenly convinced myself that it meant something else… that I wasn’t fit to be a mom.”
“And your own mom turning up didn’t help matters either, I guess?”
“Yeah, it made it so much worse, I think.”
“I’ll make sure she never bothers you ever again, if that’s what you want.”
“For now, it is. Thank you.”
“Tell me what the doctor said. What do we need to do? I’ll do anything to make sure you are taken care of and get better. Anything.”
“I know you will.”
We took the baby in his carrier and went deeper in the house to the master bedroom. We already had privacy but I needed to sit down, in his arms, to tell him everything. The three of us got comfortable on the bed, the baby in Drake’s arms as I wasn’t quite ready for him to start crying at me yet, and I gave Drake a recap of what Dr. Moreau had told me and what the plan was going forward.
“Will you need therapy?” Drake asked. “If you do, we’ll get you the best of the best.”
“I think that might be a good idea,” I said, thinking that talking did seem to ease some of the worry. As if I were sharing out the burden.
“Then consider it done. We can stay here for a bit. And I won’t be going anywhere, either. No work, nothing. You’ll get sick of me.”
“You know I won’t.”
The baby scrunched up his nose and then opened his mouth as if he were preparing to let loose a wail. “He’s getting fussy,” Drake said. “He didn’t take his bottle on the plane.”
“Dr. Moreau said it might be good to try and breastfeed again, to help with the process, especially since I haven’t stopped expressing my milk. But only if I wanted to.”
“Do you want to?”
I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. “I think I do.”
“There’s no pressure, honey. You don’t have to try right away… baby steps. And he’s fine on the bottle. It doesn’t make you less of a mother, you know.”
I sat up straighter. “I know, but let’s try. I want to,” I said giving Drake a smile. If the baby didn’t want to, then that was fine, too. There was no pressure on either of us and I told myself not to be disappointed if that was the case.
Drake passed the baby into my arms and for a moment I just felt the weight of him. He was growing so fast. Drake, seemingly knowing what to do, found a couple of pillows. He propped one behind my back and placed one on my lap, between the baby and me, to support his weight.
“Do you want me to…” Drake asked nodding toward the buttons on my shirt.
“Oh, right, yes, please,” I said letting out a small apprehensive giggle. “I seem to have my hands full.”
Drake made short work of the plastic buttons on my blouse and peeled back the fabric to reveal my bra.
“Let’s give this a go, little man,” I whispered to the baby. “We can do this, can’t we?” I said as I scooped out my breast.
“Just remember to relax, babe.”
I tried to remember the right position, angling my body so I could present my breast and nipple to the baby without suffocating him. My nipple grazed against the baby’s lips and I could’ve sworn I started to hear him cry. I closed my eyes. It wasn’t going to work. It was too soon.
But then a I felt a sharp tug and a little fist press into the flesh of my breast.
“You’re doing it,” Drake whispered in awe.
I opened my eyes not believing him, but right there in front of me, was my baby latching on. His eyes hungry… and happy.
He wasn’t the only one who was hungry.
After the baby fed we both slept, contented. I remember Drake staying for a little while, but he must have slipped out an hour or so afterward for a moment to make sure Leah was all good with Sigrid and Christine. He was trying his best to be quiet when he eased himself and a large object back into the room.
“What’s that?” I whispered.
“Shh, go back to sleep.”
“I’m just dozing. But I think my arm has gone dead.”
“We’ll have that fixed up in just a minute. That’s what this is for,” he said in hushed tones and pointed to the large rectangular object leaning against the chest of drawers. I watched as he clicked and fussed with it and eventually it started to unfold before my eyes. It was Leah’s old travel crib, one with mesh and fabric sides. We must’ve left it behind the last time we stayed here, I thought.
Drake got it set up in the corner, placed some blankets inside, and then came back to lift the baby out of my arms. “Thanks,” I sai
d and tried to get the blood in my arm circulating again as I witnessed Drake bend over at the waist and lay the baby gently down.
“Is he okay?”
“More than okay. He’s out like a light. I think that’s the first time he’s ever slept straight after being fed.”
Drake crawled back into the bed beside me and took my arm. “Let me do that,” he offered and started to massage up and down my lifeless limb.
“What about Leah?”
“Fed and in her pyjamas. I read her three stories and she’s dreaming of sheep right about now.”
“Sounds like you got everything under control.”
He nodded and smirked. “I’m pretty good sometimes, I have to admit.”
“Well, I’m sure Sigrid helped,” I said and gave him a slight dig in the ribs.
He shook his head. “Nope, wrong again. I sent her home. And Christine left earlier, too.”
“What? Why? And how long was I asleep?”
“Not long,” he reassured me. “Christine said to call her. I think you might have made a friend there.”
“Who would’ve thunk it? Your ex and me getting along.”
“Nothing to do with me,” he said and smiled.
“But why did you send Siggy home? I bet she’s hating you right now. She probably was looking forward to spending some time on the beach.”
“She’s doing me a favour.”
“Really? And what kind of favour is that?”
His fingers lazily stroked up the length of my arm. The pins and needles were almost gone, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I liked when he absentmindedly caressed me.
“She’s going to run the business for a little while.”
I gasped, and brought a hand to my mouth, not meaning to be so loud. I didn’t want to wake the baby.
“She is?”
“Yup. You were right from the start I need to be around more. I’m just sorry that I didn’t do it sooner. And…” he trailed off and took a moment. I watched as his chest rise and fall as if he were trying to brace himself against something.
“And?”
“I can’t help think that all of this is my fault.”
I turned toward him and studied his face. It was creased with regret. “What do you mean? It’s no one’s fault.”
“If I’d done what you said; stayed home, been with you all, I might’ve realised sooner what was going on with you. I could’ve gotten you help sooner.”
His dark, stormy eyes started to water.
“No, please don’t think like that. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
His hands circled my waist and pulled me closer. “I know but I am sorry, you have to know that. I truly am. I’m sorry that I spent all those nights away from you after the hospital. I regret every night that we were apart… you in one room and me in the other. God only knows what you were thinking. Well, I suppose we do now,” he said with a said smile.
“Water under the bridge.”
“But I want you to understand my reasons why. It was a conscious choice to work all those hours, to stay away.”
“Then why?” I asked, trying to be patient.
“I was terrified.”
I caressed his face, and wiped away a single tear that ran down his cheek. “Whatever of?”
“Of losing you, of course. You nearly died. You do realise that, don’t you? It was serious.”
“I know,” I whispered, not wanting think about my time in the hospital right after the birth. The haemorrhage. The blood loss. The hours the surgeons had to work to stitch me back up.
“And after you and the baby came home, it felt like my heart broke every time I saw you. I couldn’t stop thinking what could’ve happened.”
“So you stayed away?”
“I stayed away.”
“Because it was too painful to look at me?” I said looking into his sweet eyes. All those weeks practically apart when we’d both been in mental torture and we’d not been brave enough to think we could tell each other.
He nodded. “Then, ironically, I almost lost you anyway.”
“You haven’t lost me. Not ever. Not if we promise to always tell each other everything.”
“Everything?”
“Well, maybe not everything. But the dark and the light. We need to share more.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” he said. “There is one thing that I want to tell you, though.”
He got that mischievous look in his eye. The one I fell in love with. The cocky, self-assured guy who practically oozed confidence.
“You were amazing before. You looked amazing. With our son.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said and self-consciously patted down my crazy hair, “I looked like a mess.”
“Never,” he said and stroked my jawline. “You were stunning, like a fertile goddess. You were glowing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” His tone dropped to an almost inaudible whisper and he leaned in closer to my ear. “And you’re making me so hard right now. You just have to sit there and look like you do and I’m in love all over again.”
I began to push him away, giggling, but he wouldn’t let me. His mouth kissed me along my jawline and then up to my lips. We sank deep into the kiss. It was like I was falling into a huge, soft pillow, hugged all over. And with the barest hint of his tongue he made me shudder.
We eased down into the bed, lying on our sides. I clutched him hard, I never wanted to let him go ever again and I was eager to show him that. His finger blazed a trail around the side of my face, then down my neck. He spent a few moments tracing the hard line of my collarbone, planting a couple of kisses there before letting his hand roam further.
My head was spinning, but this time in a good way. Like I was blissfully high, high on him. On the way he felt under my touch, the way he smelled… and god, the way he tasted; an irresistible treat that I wanted to savour but ended up devouring instead.
As he found my mouth again, this time his kisses were softer, slower, he ran his hand down my thigh. Tortuous.
But was I ready this time?
I could feel him against me, hard. Pulsing, wanting desperately to be touched.
Drake opened his eyes and we connected for a moment, nothing but the sound of our hot breath in the room. “We can wait,” he said, as if he’d read my mind.
“No, I want you. I need you.”
His eyes flashed; pleased with my response. “We’ll go slow, I promise. Really slow. So slow that you’re going to beg for me to go faster.”
“I like the sound of that, but we have to be quiet, too,” I said and let my lips graze along his, loving how that mere contact could fire off a million tingles and fireworks bursting inside my head. The fire in his eyes burned brighter and he nodded.
Drake was gentle and true to his word. Silently he stripped each item of clothing off my body, peeling the layers back slowly and gazing upon my body like it was the most amazing thing in the world. I blushed as he studied me. I was bare on the bed, completely naked, and there were no covers to shield me from his view. I tried once or twice to wrap my arms around my body but he merely spread them wide again.
“I want to see you,” he said, “all of you.”
He kneeled naked between my legs as I looked up at him, my gaze travelling down his hard torso then onto to something equally hard… and thick. I licked my lips, but Drake shook his head.
“Not this time,” he said.
He towered over me for a moment then eased gently down on top of me. Letting the kisses fall from above onto my lips.
His hands trailed down my side and I whimpered. Fingers found their way to my thigh. Drake hooked the back of my leg and lifted it higher, wrapping it around his waist.
The head of Drake’s cock nudged at my entrance and I gasped. It had been a very long time since we’d had sex and the sensation was shocking. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it was as if we were touching and exploring each other for the first time.
Drake
rotated his hips, causing his cock to slip and graze against my clit. I sucked in a breath. But then he kept on doing it, on purpose. He watched my every reaction from above me. It felt so good, so right. I could already feel myself pulsing involuntarily, each one sending accumulating waves of pleasure further inside me.
Taking my bottom lip between my teeth I nibbled on it, clamping down hard as Drake rocked back and forward, rubbing his whole length against my seam as he cupped my breast and skimmed my tender nipple with his thumb. The sensation was a mix between pain and overwhelming pleasure. I didn’t want him to stop and yet I was almost ready to beg him to slip inside me and give me more.
“You can barely stand it for much longer, can you?” he breathed, “You want me inside you, don’t you?”
“God, yes. Don’t make me wait, I need you right now.”
He grinned wickedly and eased back, started to make slow circles with his cock upon my clit again.
My breathing became laboured. Everything felt like it was on fire; every single cell was alive and needing more.
“Please, Drake,” I said and tried to hook him closer with my leg. But he was hard as a rock in place. He would only be moved when he was ready, and he wasn’t done with me yet, it seemed.
Or so I thought. He surprised me again as he leaned forward and closed the distance between us. The bulbous head of his cock pushed against my pussy, stretching to try and accommodate him.
I heard him swear under his breath and inhaled deeply as the rest of his hardness filled me. He was true to his word, taking it slowly, letting me feel every inch of him. He didn’t move when he was in me up to the hilt.
“Are you okay?” he breathed, holding his position, his lips millimetres away from mine.
“More than okay.” Tilting my head a fraction my lips hit his and we were lost again. But lost together. Slaves to our desires, eager to feel every part of each other. Our tongues danced and gradually, as if on their own accord, our bodies began to move. Drake’s hips edged away, but then rocked back closer, deeper. And each time he filled me my eyes seemed to roll back, delirious, unable to bear the mesmerising and exquisite way he made me feel.
Loving my Billionaire Stepbrother's Baby Page 13