Stupid Girl

by Cindy Miles

  “God, woman, you’re freezing,” he whispered. “Come here.” Taking me by the hand, he led me to his bed where he yanked all the bedcovers off at once. He piled two pillows in my arms and we dragged everything over to the stove and threw it down on the floor in front of it. He smiled at me. “Sit.”

  I did, and he followed and threw himself down beside me. We faced the stove, only a few feet away, and I held my hands out to reach the warmth. He did it, too. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, and, well, everything. My insides were writhing with need, and the sensation excited and confused me at once. Brax must have sensed my frustration because he looked at me, and the fiery gleam in his eyes made me pause.

  Then I reached up and yanked his hat off. Tossed it on the floor.

  A slow smile grew on Brax’s beautifully scarred face from the corners out, and he flipped my hat off, too, and in one smooth motion peeled my arms out of my jacket, followed by his, and laid me back against the comforter. Bracing his weight on his elbows, he hovered over me. His gaze dragged over my features, one at a time, and my heart slammed against my ribs at the seductiveness of it. With nimble fingers he unsnapped the buttons on my shirt and opened it, revealing my thermal, and he placed his palm over the left side of my chest. Over my heart.

  “You can trust me with this, Gracie,” he said quietly. He said nothing more, just stared at me with those eerie eyes filled with desire. And something else.

  “I know,” I answered, and I brushed my fingertips over the dark scruff on his jaw. “I think I always knew.”

  Brax stared at me for a long time, then slowly lowered his mouth to mine. When our lips met, the turmoil inside me quickened, and my hands found their way around his neck and I pulled him closer. He kissed me so thoroughly, tasting the corners of my mouth, my top lip, the bottom one, his tongue grazing mine and me savoring it. My lips were numb, my heart beat fast, my nerve endings on fire from his touch. Brax’s hands moved over my clothed body, and it wasn’t nearly close enough. He wasn’t close enough, and I desperately tugged at his shirt, the buttons of his jeans, and pushed at his boots with mine. My body writhed beneath his, and he took the cue. Our movements weren’t slick, smooth, or movie-worthy. We jerked and yanked each others clothes off, awkward and fast, and it wasn’t until we had every stitch off that we were satisfied. Brax lay over me, one heavy thigh trapping both of mine, and his hand moved in the gentlest caress from my face, to my collar bone, to my breast. As he touched, he kissed; when I exhaled, he inhaled, swallowing my breath, and he traced strong fingertips over my stomach, my navel, my hips. His touch set my nerves on edge; I felt hot, and the desire inside of me grew to a pitch that had me frenzied. He unraveled my braid, his hand burying in my hair. My fingers dug into the muscles of his broad back, his biceps, and we moved in sync, fever pitch for fever pitch.

  At once he was between my thighs, and Brax grabbed his discarded jeans. He lifted a small wrapper to his mouth, tore it with his teeth, and stretched a condom over his hardened length. “Don’t close your eyes, Gracie,” he said, then leaned over, dragged his mouth over mine. “Watch what you do to me.”

  When I drew my next breath Brax pushed into me, and I gasped but kept my eyes on his. He filled me, exquisitely, and I lifted my hips a bit to take him in just a little more. Not close enough. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he let out a groan that sounded almost painful.

  “Jesus, Gracie,” he said hoarsely, and started to move against me. His mouth descended on mine, and his kiss matched his thrusts, and I saw the desire in his eyes because I didn’t close mine. I watched. He watched. And we moved together, faster, and a slow, tumultuous storm grew in strength between us until the waves crashed over us both, simultaneously, one after another until I bucked and became breathless.

  “Brax,” I whispered. My hands gripped him as he sagged against me, and I tasted the salty sweat of his skin as I kissed his shoulder.

  He raised his head and looked down at me, pressed his lips to first my forehead, then my mouth. He kissed me long. Thorough. Sweet.

  “God, Gracie,” he whispered, then completely enveloped my body with his arms, rolled off to the side and pulled me tightly against him.

  We laid together, my head against his chest; his rapid heart beating against my ear. I knew I loved him. I felt he loved me.

  Neither of us said it, though.

  I wondered about that.

  But as contentment washed over me, so complete and absolute, I decided not to ponder it too much. It—Brax—felt too right to worry. I closed my eyes and drifted fast asleep, wrapped in Brax’s arms.

  “Your folks are coming, right?”

  I smiled and kissed Brax on the nose. “Yes. They’re coming. They’re probably already in the stands.”

  He grinned, wagged his brows, and cockily pulled the bill of his Silverbacks hat low. “They’ll see how wicked bitchy I pitch.”

  I shook my head. “Your ego, Southie. It’s a biggun.”

  “You like it.”

  “I do.”

  Brax pulled me into a tight embrace, lowered his mouth to mine.

  And devoured it.

  I kissed him back, no hesitation, no shyness. He made me that comfortable.

  Our kissing turned smoldering, and we fell against Brax’s front door. His hand moved to my hip, around my buttock. “How am I supposed to concentrate on the mound, Gracie?” he said, taking small nips of my bottom lip.

  “Just think of what’ll be waiting for you after you win,” I said, breathless.

  A knock on the door at my back startled us both.

  “Hey! We know you’re both in there. Probably naked and making out,” Tessa’s tinny voice sounded from the other side of the door. “Game day, guys. Come on! It’s freezing out here!”

  Brax pulled back slowly, my bottom lip in his mouth, and he gave it one last taste. “Hold your ponies, Barnes,” he said, grinning. His eyes never left mine. “Be out in a sec.”

  Two weeks into the new semester, and everything was absolutely perfect. Brax and I didn’t have any classes together, but we still had lunch every day. He worked at the batting cages when he wasn’t at early spring training, and I at the observatory. We studied together, spent as much time together as possible, and although I hadn’t moved into his apartment, I stayed there a lot. Henry didn’t mind. Brax hated to ever see me leave.

  We were as close as a couple in love could be.

  Except, we’d neither said it.

  Brax had changed. I probably had, too, but his was noticeable. To me, anyway. Although he’d defend me in a sweet minute, that angry side of him had disappeared. He wasn’t quite as rough around the edges. I don’t know … it was as if he’d found peace, maybe? I’d liked to think I was that peace. He’d certainly been for me. Besides. Kelsy Evans had all but vanished. I was pretty sure he’d flunked his semester. Or his father had pulled him from Winston in order to duck trouble. Either way, I never saw him around school and that sat perfectly well with me.

  “Come on!” Tessa complained from the other side of the door. “Cory, tell your pitcher to move his ass!”

  “Move your ass!” Cory hollered.

  Brax kissed me once more and grinned. “Let’s go before I punch him in the throat.”

  We all headed out to the Winston baseball diamond in Cory’s Camaro. The middle of January was chilly and sunny and perfect. My family had driven in to watch Brax pitch and have dinner. The only thing missing was Jilly. And I knew he was there in spirit.

  Brax and Cory’s cleats clicked across the parking lot as we hurried to the dugout, where Brax swept me up and kissed me once more.

  “Kick ass,” I said, grinning, and kissed him back.

  “You know I will,” he replied.

  Tessa ran with me up the bleachers, where I found Mom and my brothers. I introduced everyone, and we waited for the game to start.

  “Come here, Lil’ Bit,” Jace said, and pulled me next to him.

  Kyle reached around Mom and sm
acked me in the back of the head. “This better be good,” he said, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

  I grabbed his knee cap, and he squawked. “Just you watch.”

  “All right you guys,” Mom said. She tugged my braid. “Behave.”

  The game started, and Brax fired three fastballs in a row for the first strike out. I watched in fascination as he collected, stretched, and pitched. It was a thing of beauty, to me. The ball popped the catcher’s glove so loud it sounded like gunfire. He had a grimace on his face that showed every ounce of strength he used to shoot that pitch, too. I thought it was the sexiest growling face. Ever.

  “Damn that boy,” Seth said low. “Jace.”

  “I know,” he agreed. “Son of a—”

  “Hey,” Mom said.

  “Wait ’til you see him bat,” I added.

  After three consecutive outs, the Silverbacks were up to bat. The first two batters hit singles, leaving Brax with runners on first and second. He found me in the stands, pointed his bat right at me.

  “God he’s cocky,” Kyle said. “I like that.”

  I only grinned.

  “Could you be a little more sickening?” Tessa teased. “Chica, please.”

  My brothers laughed.

  Brax crowded the plate on the first pitch and swung. He loved to hit fast balls, and that’s exactly what had crossed the plate. His bat cracked the ball, sending it out to the left field corner. He took off in that arrogant, bow-legged swaggering run. One player scored, one was on third, and Brax made it to second by sliding. We all jumped to our feet and hollered.

  “Okay, baby,” Tessa yelled as Cory strutted to the plate. “You know what to do!”

  “He’s a moose!” Seth commented. “Is he even human?”

  Tessa grinned. “Mostly.”

  On the second pitch Cory smacked the holy hell out of the ball for a homerun, sending Brax and the other guy over home plate. Again, we all cheered.

  “Okay, here comes big brother,” Tessa said.

  Cole hit a single, and after four more batters, the inning ended. We were up five to zip.

  By the sixth inning the score was nine to two, Silverbacks. The crowd in the stands was ecstatic, and Brax was at his best. Pride filled me, and I was glad that my family was there to witness it. The day couldn’t have gone any better.

  Brax made his way to the mound, picked up the chalk bag and tossed it a few times, then threw a few pitches to the catcher. The seventh inning began, and Brax fired his first pitch. It was then a muffled drone caught my ear, coming from the visitor’s side of the stands. Ignoring it, my attention was fast on Brax, the fluid motion of his athletic body, his perfect pitching form.

  “Oh, hell,” Tessa murmured beside me. “Liv?”

  “What?” I responded. I didn’t look at her. My eyes were glued to Brax.

  Tessa’s elbow dug into my side. “Liv!”

  “Tess, I swear—” I stopped, mid-sentence, as the drone caught my attention again. It’d grown louder, more distinct, and it made me look away from Brax, to the visitor’s section. I saw him then. Kelsy Evans, his buddies. And the words rose above the cheers of the Silverbacks fans.

  Gutter-fuck. Gutter-fuck.

  Realization punched me in the gut, and my eyes darted back to Brax. I knew the second he heard it, too. He’d just thrown a pitch—it’d no more left his hand when his head turned to find me.

  And that’s when it happened.

  The ball cracked against the bat as a line drive shot out of the batters box and straight for the mound.

  The ball hit Brax in the temple as he searched the crowd, and he dropped so fast to the ground he looked like a rag doll.

  My breath left my lungs and I leapt to my feet. “No!” I started down the bleachers as fast as I could move. From my peripheral I noticed my brothers moving, too. To the visitor’s side. My eyes stayed forward then, on Brax’s body. Unmoving. Still as death. I slammed into the fence by the dugout. Cory was already at the mound, kneeling beside Brax. He was quickly joined by the catcher. Soon all of the starters were hovering over him, and I couldn’t see anything except his cleats. No movement. My heart nearly stopped.

  I tried to open the dugout, but I couldn’t budge it. Locked. “Let me in!” I yelled.

  Mom and Tessa came to stand beside me, and Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “Back up, sweetie. EMS is here. He’ll be okay. He’ll be fine.”

  Mom had to pull me back; I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Brax’s cleats. It was the only part of him I could see, and I wasn’t losing sight of him. Oh, God. Oh God! “Mom,” I said, frantic. My voice quivered. “That ball … it had to be going at least ninety.”

  Mom stroked my hair. “I know, honey. I know. Just … wait.”

  EMS quickly cleared the area, made the players back up as they brought a stretcher next to Brax’s body. Still, he didn’t move, not an inch. Not a breath. I strained my eyes, trying to see his chest move. I didn’t. Or couldn’t.

  All because Brax heard that stupid chant, started by Kelsy Evans.

  The crowd was silent as death now; you could hear a pin drop. The EMS guys hovered over Brax, but I couldn’t see a thing. My fingers squeezed the chain linked fence as I stared hard, and tears fell down my cheeks. I didn’t care. I could barely breathe.

  It was the longest eleven minutes of my life. I held my breath for most of it. Behind me, I heard random people in low voices saying, Is he breathing? Is he going to be okay? I prayed with my eyes open, fixed on Brax’s motionless body. That was a hard hit. Straight to the temple. Jesus God, please be okay!

  Suddenly, I saw it. His hand moved. On his own. Hope surged inside of me, and I wanted to crawl over that chain linked fence, drop to the other side and run like hell to that mound. EMS, with Brax’s body now strapped to the stretcher, raised it to full height. Then Brax’s arm lifted, higher than before, and he gave a thumbs-up.

  The crowd roared.

  Relief swept over me like a violent wave, and I exhaled my pent-up breath. Mom and Tessa hugged me. Suddenly, my brothers were behind me, too.

  EMS didn’t move, though. One of the guys bent down, over Brax. Then he walked to the dugout. I saw then that Brax had a black neck brace on, and my nerves shot high.

  “Just for precaution, sis,” Jace said close to me. “You know that.”

  I exhaled again, and kept my gaze trained on Brax. The EMS guy jogged back to the mound and handed something to him. His arm lifted to his mouth. His throaty, raspy Southie voice came over the loud speaker.

  “Gracie—you’re gonna have to find higher ground for me to see you, sweetheart,” he said. “I got this damn thing on my neck.”

  Sweethaht. My heart leapt.

  “Here,” Kyle said, and led me to the bleachers. “Go up a few.”

  I did, and turned back to the mound.

  “Better!” Brax said. “Can you see me?”

  The crowd was dead silent and looking right at me. I waved to Brax so he knew I could see him.

  “Gracie, I got something to tell you, and I’ve been wanting to tell ya for a long time, but now seems to be it. Crazy, huh?”

  I stood frozen in place, waiting, breathless.

  His voice boomed over the intercom once more. “I’m in love with you, Gracie Beaumont. Do you hear me? I love you!”

  Tears filled my eyes as the entire stand of baseball fans cheered, and a content and full feeling nearly made my heart burst. I cupped my hands over my mouth and hollered back once the crowd quieted. “I love you, too!”

  I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I saw his hands go to his face, heard his raspy laugh come through the speaker system. “Pardon my French, Ms. Beaumont, but can you get your ass down here?”

  With the crowd cheering, my mom crying, and my brothers helping me along, one of the coaches opened the dugout door and I rushed through it. I ran all the way to the mound and stopped just at the foot of Brax’s stretcher. The grin on his face stretched from ear to ear, and he waved
me closer. He lifted the mic to his mouth. “Come here, Sunshine.”

  I did and, with the crowd on its feet, roaring, I leaned over Brax and our eyes fixed. “Say it again,” he said.

  The crowd was so loud, I could barely hear myself speak. I leaned over the mic. “I said I love you, Brax Jenkins!”

  “Woohoo!” he hollered into the mic. “Did you hear that? She loves me!”

  And with the stands at a low roar, cheering and hollering, I kissed Brax. He kissed me, too. Until the EMS guy had to pull us apart. He, too, was grinning, though.

  “Ride with me to the hospital?” Brax said, squeezing my hand.

  “Absolutely,” I replied.

  Cory had come to stand beside me, towering over me. Brax briefly looked at him. “Win the game, bro,” Brax said.

  Cory grinned. “You know we will.”

  And with a strength that made relief sweep over me again, Brax gripped my hand, threaded my fingers through his, and I walked alongside his stretcher to the ambulance. My mom, brothers, and Tessa were there, too.

  Jace surprised me and leaned over Brax, said something quiet in his ear. When he rose, Jace winked at me, then looked at Brax. “Beastly pitching, man,” he said.

  Brax grinned. “Thanks, bro.”

  After they loaded Brax into the ambulance, I climbed in and perched beside him. The ambulance started to move, and I grasped his hand. “You scared me to death,” I said. “Don’t ever do that again.”

  He couldn’t move his neck because of the brace and, as expressive as he was, I knew it bothered him to keep so still. He squeezed my fingers instead. “I’m in love with you,” he said again. “You’re forever, Sunshine.”

  I looked at his unique face, both eyes already growing purple from the hit, and I realized how lucky he was. I was. We both were. My eyes scanned his tattooed forearms. His knuckles, and the letters inked into them. Goin Down.

  I was goin down from the second I’d met him.

  And I knew I’d found my forever, too.