by Lisa Jordan
Barefoot, he scaled the rock, then reached down to help her up.
Chest heaving and breathing ragged, Ian sat on the edge, clasped his arms around his legs and rested his forehead on his knees.
She settled beside him, tucking her feet under her thighs, and rested a hand on his shoulder. Just to let him know she was here for him.
A shudder coursed through him. He ran a finger and thumb over his eyes. Agnes couldn’t be sure if the wetness was only lake water.
Ian reached for her hand and squeezed but didn’t release it. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”
She laughed. “Ian, we’ve been friends for far too long for you to worry about that now.” She fought the urge to comb his hair away from his face.
Ian covered his face with his hands, then exhaled loudly. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that, but Dad’s being such a jerk. I can’t stand the way he’s treating Mom.”
“He’s hurting.”
He glanced at her with an Are you kidding me? look plastered on his face. “We’re all hurting, Red. But that doesn’t mean we walk out on family.”
“Your dad will come around, Ian. He has his own issues to deal with. Try to be more understanding.”
“He drives me nuts at times. He’s so black-and-white.”
“Yeah, but he’s still your dad. You need to show him respect.”
“Respect is earned. And right now he’s losing mine.”
“Don’t be that way. Your family is going through enough already. Grace goes a long way to mending fences.”
He stared at the lake. “Yeah, I guess.”
“You guess? Imagine if that’s how God dealt with us…there goes that crazy redhead screwing up again…I guess I’ll show her some grace.”
“God loves you, Red.” He wrapped an arm around her and folded her into his embrace.
She pressed her cheek against his damp chest. “Yeah, I know.”
The serenity of the lake flowed over her. She breathed in the pine-scented air, and for the first time all day, she relaxed.
Even though Ian remained as knotted as a sailor’s rope, peace filtered through every pore of her body. For the moment with only nature as a choir, she knew everything was going to work out.
Pete and Charlotte would make up. The Agape team would make their deadline. Zoe would be home.
Ian removed his arm and reached for her hand. He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “You have remarkable hands. Long elegant fingers.”
What was he doing? His touch was so gentle, intimate—something one said to someone…loved.
Turning to face her, he slid his fingers through her hair, combing it away from her cheek. His eyes darkened. The pad of his thumb caressed the curve of her ear, and then he trailed his fingers down the hollow of her neck, following the contours of her jaw.
Her breath caught as his gentle touch explored her face. She closed her eyes, not thinking, just feeling as his index finger outlined her lips.
She swallowed, hating to break the spell. “Ian?” The hoarseness of her voice sounded dry, like gravel rubbing together.
“Shh.” He rested a finger against her lips.
She opened her eyes to find him inches from her face. Her gaze tangled with his as he moved closer.
Her heart crashed against her rib cage like a stormy wave, capturing her breath and threatening to pull her into the undertow.
When she couldn’t last another breath, his lips touched hers, kissing her with a sweet gentleness that resurrected her soul.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his damp hair.
He tangled his fingers in her curls as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.
Ian dragged his lips from her mouth and buried his face in her neck. His ragged breathing warmed her collarbone.
She kept a hand around his neck and rested her cheek against his wet head.
The reality of the situation washed over her.
She shifted, pulling away slightly, immediately missing his closeness.
Ian looked up and swiped a lock of hair off her forehead.
“You are so beautiful.” His whispered words seeped into the cracks and crevices of her heart. Piece by piece, she began to feel whole again.
She touched her lips where the warmth of his mouth still lingered, then looked down at his other hand resting on her knee. She stroked his muscled forearm with her fingernails.
“Ian? What just happened?”
Ian turned his hand and captured hers, entwining their fingers. “I kissed you. Apparently not well enough if you’re unsure. But I do seem to recall you kissing me back.”
Yes, she did.
She couldn’t hold back a smile. The kiss was…wow…who knew? Yes, most definitely a nice kiss.
She glanced at him through her lashes, feeling a little uncertain. “I mean why?”
“Would you believe me if I said I’ve been wanting to do it for years?”
“But that’s crazy. We’re friends.”
“You’re my best friend, Red. But you’re so much more than that.” He kind of chuckled, but she couldn’t find the humor in his words. “The thing is…” He pulled air into his lungs, then released it slowly. Then he grabbed both hands and squeezed. “The thing is I’ve been in love with you for years.”
Her heart should have been exploding with joy. Hadn’t she longed to hear him say those words? So why wasn’t she repeating the same words that were teetering on the tip of her tongue?
“But you can’t love me.” She pulled her gaze away from his and stared at the expanse of the lake stretching in front of them.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m…I’m broken. You deserve to be with someone who can give you want you truly need.”
“No, Red.” He caught one of her curls and twirled it around his finger. “I need you. Only you. It’s always been you. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
Tears filled her eyes. A sob rose in her chest. “Oh, Ian. I’m not. I…”
She wanted to tell him. To bare her soul—her darkest secret, but she couldn’t face him walking away. Not just yet.
He rested his forehead against hers. “You’re perfect for me. And that’s what matters.”
But that wasn’t all that mattered.
Ian wanted a family—deserved a family. And she couldn’t be the one to give it to him.
And what about their friendship? What about when Ian decided what she had to offer wasn’t enough? What about when he tossed her aside after determining she had no real value?
What then?
No, all that mattered was she couldn’t fall in love with her best friend. Because if she admitted how she felt about him, and he didn’t want her anymore, then she’d lose everything. And she was quite sure her heart would be beyond restoration.
*
He wanted to spend the day at the cabin with his dad about as much as he wanted to drive to the prison almost every weekend. But duty called.
And after talking to Red yesterday, he needed to do a better job of showing grace.
Ian grabbed the gift bag and opened his door. “Come on, Bubba. Let’s go wish Grandpa a happy Father’s Day.”
So maybe he had said some things that needed to be said, but yesterday’s church picnic wasn’t the time or the place for a confrontation.
Griffin charged up the wide porch steps of the cabin and flung open the screen door. “Happy Father’s Day, Grandpa.”
Ian caught it before it slammed and trudged inside. Oldies music blasted from the radio on the windowsill. The scent of turpentine lingered in the air, coating his throat.
Ian dropped the bag on the table and headed for the kitchen sink. He grabbed a plastic cup out of the dish drainer and filled it with cold water. Drinking it washed the nasty taste out of his mouth and gave him a moment to figure out what to say. He drained the glass and set it in the dis
hpan.
He walked back into the living room and found Dad at his easel. Griffin wasn’t with him. Maybe he had gone up to the loft bedroom for something.
Dad reached over and turned down the volume, then nodded at Ian.
He took in the dark circles under Dad’s eyes and the lines etching his forehead. So he wasn’t the only one who didn’t sleep last night.
Between stressing about Dad and replaying that kiss with Red…he had spent most of the night staring at his ceiling.
“Happy Father’s Day.” Ian handed him the gift bag.
“Thanks, son.” He looked inside and pulled out a black case. He opened it and ran a finger over the red sable brushes. Smiling, he closed the case. “These are great, thanks.”
“Wanna grab a bite to eat or something?” Maybe getting out of the cabin would help him feel less crowded in by the elephant in the room.
“Yeah, sure. Sounds good. Let me clean up this mess first and change my clothes. Where are you thinking?”
Ian shrugged. “It’s your day. You pick it.”
Dad carried his palette and brushes to the sink. “What’s your mother doing today?”
Ian sat on the couch, picked up yesterday’s paper and scanned the headlines. “When we left, she was reading.”
“How about if I give her a call and see if she wants to join us?” Dad’s voice sounded hesitant.
Ian read the same headline about the school district budget cuts three times before he responded, “I think she’d like that.”
Dad returned to the living room, grabbed his cell phone and headed out to the front porch, the screen door slamming behind him.
Griffin returned to the living room wearing blue swim trunks and carrying a red and white towel over his shoulder.
“Where are you going, Bubba?”
“I wanna go swimming. I’m so hot and sweaty.”
“You know you can’t go to the lake by yourself.”
“I know. I was hoping you’d take me.”
“We’re taking Grandpa out to dinner.”
“Just a quick dip to cool off? Then I promise to get ready superfast to go to dinner.”
“Fine by me, but double-check with Grandpa. He’s on the porch talking to Gram on the phone.” Ian tossed the paper on the coffee table and stood.
Through the window, Ian watched as Griffin waited for a turn to talk. Ian couldn’t make out what they were saying, but Griffin’s fist pump in the air let him know Dad said yes.
Griffin pressed his face into the screen. “Grandpa said I could go swimming since we’re not going anywhere. Grandma’s coming here.”
Just like old times.
Since Zoe left, they hadn’t done any of the usual family traditions.
“Let’s get some sunblock on you, Bubba, or Gram will ground me for letting you burn.” Ian grabbed a bottle of sunblock Mom kept in a bucket by the front door and shook it.
Griffin squirmed while Ian smeared the lotion on him.
Since Dad was still on the phone, Ian gestured toward the lake to let him know where they were going.
Dad nodded and gave him a thumbs-up.
They headed down the steps. Ian carried Griffin’s towel while the kid ran down the rutted path through the hedge of trees that parted to reveal greenish-blue water dappled with liquid silver.
Griffin plowed into the water without hesitation or fear. A kid after his own heart. Growing up on the water, they learned young how to swim. Griffin surfaced, then fell back and backstroked.
Gray plumes of campfire smoke billowed over the treetops and smudged the blue sky. The scent of grilling meat wafted through the air, causing Ian’s stomach to grumble. Along the horizon, canoers glided through the water.
Ian kicked off his deck shoes and sat on the sand. Pulling his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his legs and scanned the shore across the lake to find the rock he had shared with Agnes yesterday.
His new favorite spot.
Kissing her was even better than he’d imagined. Her soft lips, silky skin. And he wanted to do it again. For the rest of his life. But he sensed her retreat. He needed to take it slow.
They had sat on the rock for a while, talking about Ian’s outburst with Dad and how he could have handled it better. At least Agnes didn’t scold him like a child. She sympathized with him but let him know there was enough strife in the family without adding it.
And she was right.
He needed to apologize to Dad.
As if the guy could read his thoughts, Ian sensed someone behind him. Dad walked barefoot across the sand and sat beside Ian.
Griffin waved and then dove under the water.
“The kid’s a fish.” Maybe small talk would break the ice.
Dad kept his eyes on the water. “Just like you were at that age.”
Ian grabbed a handful of sand and sifted it through his fingers. “Listen, Dad…about yesterday. I’m sorry.”
Dad rested his elbows on his bent knees. “Me, too, son. Me, too. But you were right. I turned my back on you guys. The past few years haven’t been easy on any of us.”
“No, but we’ve been handling it.”
“Yeah, but I should’ve stepped up and done a better job. You’ve put your life on hold to help out with Griffin. That’s not fair to you.”
“My life is fine.”
His heart ached to spend his life with Red.
“I talked with your mother. She’s pulling steaks out of the freezer. We’re going to hang out here and grill if that’s okay with you.”
“Sounds great.”
“Tomorrow I’m going through Agape House with your mother. Then you and I can sit down and talk about the best way for me to help you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, it’s time I manned up and took care of my family.”
Ian was thankful for his sunglasses so his dad wouldn’t see his eyes filling with tears.
“What’s Agnes doing today? Give her a call and see if she wants to join us. Father’s Day must be tough since Chuck passed.”
“I can, but I suspect she’ll say she’s busy.”
“You two have a fight?”
“Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.” Ian told Dad about the drive to the rock and the kiss.
“It’s about time, son. You’ve been pining for that girl since you were fifteen.”
“I feel like she’s pushing me away…keeping me at arm’s length.”
Dad slapped him on the back. “Don’t lose hope. You’ve waited this long. She’ll come around.”
Hope.
That elusive word spurred his courage to push their relationship a bit further, to encourage her to step outside her comfort zone in order to give them a chance at a future together.
Despite the kiss and the way their relationship continued to evolve, he couldn’t help wondering if it was temporary. For him, though, there was no going back to the way things used to be. Could he live with that if she rejected him?
Chapter Eleven
Agnes was going to be late for work if she didn’t step on it. She smothered a yawn, grabbed her keys and slid the purse strap onto her shoulder before letting herself out the side door and locking it behind her.
She opened the car door and started to slide in, but a handpicked bouquet of white daisies, yellow buttercups, purple sweet peas and Queen Anne’s lace wrapped in a damp paper towel lay on the seat.
A note fluttered down and landed on the floorboard. She reached for it and recognized Ian’s scrawl:
Saw these on my way to work and thought of you.
When was the last time anyone had given her flowers? The simple gesture warmed her heart.
She hadn’t seen Ian since Saturday when he kissed her on the rock and declared his love. Even though she needed a little space to process everything, that didn’t keep her from reliving their kiss.
Smiling, she buried her nose in the petals, which caused her to sneeze repeatedly.
Okay, so t
hat was a stupid thing to do.
She set the flowers on the passenger seat and slid behind the wheel. She’d have to put them in water at the coffee shop, not having time to head back inside the house.
Five minutes later, she crossed the bridge over the Shelby River and headed toward Cuppa Josie’s but then noticed the thermostat on her dash heading toward the hot zone.
Odd.
She could understand the July heat having something to do with it, but her car hadn’t been running that long.
For the past week, it had been in the low nineties before noon. She felt as if she were back in Texas again. If the gathering storm clouds were anything to go by, rain would soon bring relief from the sticky heat.
To be safe, though, she’d call Buck’s Garage and set up an appointment to get her car serviced.
A quick glance in her rearview mirror showed a trail of smoke, at about the same time the smell of burning liquid seeped into the car.
She gripped the steering wheel. “No. No. No. No.”
This couldn’t be happening.
She had spent enough time hanging out in the garage talking to Daddy when he worked on the convertible to know that smell was antifreeze…and her savings account would soon be incinerated.
She signaled to pull off to the side of the road, but before she could edge over completely, the power shut down. She shifted into Neutral and coasted to the curb as she muscled the steering wheel to park in a somewhat parallel position.
Steam billowed out from under her hood.
She pounded her palm against the steering wheel.
This was not going to be a cheap fix.
Now, what was she going to do?
Getting to work wasn’t a problem—she could walk the couple of blocks, but Buck’s Garage was on the other side of town.
Maybe she could call him from Cuppa Josie’s and have him tow her car to the garage.
Another bill she wasn’t looking forward to, but what choice did she have?
But first, she needed to give Josie a call and let her know she was going to be a few minutes late.
Dragging her purse into her lap, she rummaged through the mess for her phone but couldn’t find it.
Mama had called while she was putting on her makeup. Her phone was probably still sitting by the bathroom sink.