* * * *
Roderick threw my luggage inside the white Cadillac Escalade he'd rented. We sat in the parking lot not saying a word for a good ten minutes. Roderick stared at me. I stared out the window.
Finally he spoke.
“ So what, you don't love me anymore Amina? You done plotted behind my back for fucking weeks. Hopped your ass on that nasty ass bus for what? Because you're mad at me? You mad we haven't gotten married yet? What is it Amina? You and I both know you didn't go through all this bullshit because you ain't in love with me. I've apologized repeatedly for slapping you that night. I've asked your forgiveness over and over. Sadly, only the Lord knows that I've beat myself up about it more than you ever could.”
I was speechless .I didn't know what so say yet a million words were churning in my brain. So I decided to just start with the basics.
“ It's been ten years Roderick. I loved you. You just don't love me. At least not enough to make our relationship legal. You were never going to marry me. There are things in my life that you've made it more than clear you're never going to give me. “ I said soft and steady. I didn't want to lose my nerve and leave things unsaid between us.
“ Loved? Don't you ever fuckin' refer to loving me in the past tense. You love me and I love you. What the fuck don't I give you Amina? I give you everything! A house,cars anything you want I give you.” he screamed banging his fists on the dashboard.
“ You don't get it do you Roderick ?”
“ No the fuck I don't.”
“ Okay then . We don't feel the same. We don't want the same things in life so you have no choice but to just let me go Roderick. All I ever wanted to do was love you,marry you one day and for us to have a family. I never asked you for anything....”
“ Well your greedy ass damn sure didn't turn shit down either did you?” he said cutting his eyes at me.
It took all my self control not to lash out at him.
“ I never asked you any of that. I never asked for new cars,houses, nothing.” I said shaking my head. My tears won the battle and flowed freely down my cheeks. “ All I ever wanted was for you to love me and a family. I'd live with you in a cardboard box Roderick but I'm tired of asking you for something you just don't want to give me. I give up. You win.”
“ Amina I love you. If that piece of paper means so much to you. We'll get married in the morning. If that's what it takes to end all this goddamn nonsense so we can go home. We going to the courthouse in the morning. By the time we hit L.A. Again,you're going be Mrs. Roderick Jabri Thomas.” Roderick said starting up the truck and backing up.
“ You know I don't even like coming to Cleveland! Got me out here in no mans land. You knew I was gonna coming running after you. You like doing this shit to me.” he mumbled to himself.
“ You don't get it Roderick. I don't want to be your wife any more. I'm still in love with you but we can't be together anymore. The only thing I'm leaving this relationship with after ten years of loving you,being faithful and loyal is your baby. I may not walk away from this with your name, but I'm leaving with the absolute best part of you.” I said wiping the tears from face.
The End.Or the beginning.
Discussion Questions
1.Do you know someone or have you ever been part of an extremely long relationship as an adult?
2.How long is too long to be part of a relationship that does lead to marriage?
3.Is a legal marriage or union outdated or underrated?
4.At what year should a couple decide to discuss marriage? After 2 years?
5.If YOU desired marriage and your mate was content to leave things as is, would you set aside your true feelings just to maintain the relationship or would you move on regardless of how much you felt you loved your mate.
6.Did Amina make the right decision to end her relationship?
7.What did you think about Roderick? Was he REALLY that bad or did he seem to have “ Mommy Issues” ?
Read More Book
by
Candace Mumford / Ms. Bam
The “ Hoes Be Winning” and Ballad Of A Bad Bitch Series under the Ms.Bam pen name
Love Locked Down & ParkCrest View- The Love Chronicles Vol 1-5 under Candace Mumford
Soul Cry: The Ten Year Girlfriend Page 19