by Rachel Jonas
Like me.
“There’s just stuff going on that—”
“That I don’t understand,” she cuts in with an eye roll. “So you keep saying. But honestly, from the outside looking in, you just look like a crazy person who’s becoming even more overbearing than you already were.”
Her words cut deep. Yes, I’m completely aware of my tendency to smother her, but how could she not know it’s because I love her? How could she not know I’m desperate to keep her safe because if something happened to her it would literally kill me?
“I’m gonna let that slide, because I know you’re confused and upset right now, but—”
“How long has it just been us?” she asks. “Most people would say since Mike left, but you and I know it’s been much longer than that. Even before mom took off and Hunter got arrested, we were all each other had.”
Listening to her, looking into her eyes, my heart’s in my throat because she isn’t wrong.
“A long time,” I answer.
“So, if there’s anyone in this world I should be able to trust, it’s you, right?” she reasons. “Then, why doesn’t that go both ways? And don’t tell me it does, because if that were true, you wouldn’t be hiding… whatever this is from me right now.”
She stands and takes a step to storm off again, but I have her arm before she can leave the room.
“You’re fourteen, Scar.”
“Fifteen,” she argues, “which means I’m not a baby. Which means I won’t fall apart if you tell me the truth for once.”
There’s a knot in my stomach that only grows the longer this conversation continues. Shielding her has been, by far, the most exhausting job I’ve ever had, but it’s been worth it. I don’t know, though. Maybe she’s right. She’s growing up and maybe it’s time I let her handle knowing things.
But then, as soon as this thought comes to me, I’m aware of how badly I wished there had been someone to protect my innocence. Someone who felt I was too young to see the things I’ve seen, experience the things I’ve experienced.
“All I can say is that you’re not crazy,” I admit. “Things are going on that you don’t know about, but I’m handling it.”
Handling it—I use that term very loosely.
That death stare is locked on me again and I feel her growing frustration as it expands throughout the room, like it’s alive.
“Either tell me what the hell is happening, or… at least get better at pretending everything’s okay before I lose my mind,” she snaps, sounding like the lump in her throat is all that’s keeping her from crying.
“Scar, I am doing… the absolute best I can,” I choke out, feeling my own emotions getting the best of me. To my surprise, she doesn’t pull away when I bring her into an embrace.
“You’re all I have, and if you’re not okay, I’m not okay,” she admits. The tears have broken free now and I draw her closer.
Something has to give. But seeing as how I can’t snap my fingers and have this whole thing go away, the only factor I have the power to change is myself. So, if that means taking on more to keep things as normal as I can for Scar, then that’s what I’ll do.
She leans away and I push wetness from her cheek with my hand, deciding that my new mission is to do what I can to give my sister more… normalcy. She’s craving that, and if normalcy is the alternative to shredding her world with the truth, then I’ll give her that.
Come hell or high water.
@QweenPandora: Ok, last one for the night.
Let’s spin the wheel-of-doom and see whose fate I’ll seal this time.
Lookie, lookie. I do believe this one will ruffle a few feathers. It seems everyone’s favorite councilman isn’t quite the standup guy he’d have us all believe.
Yup, you guessed it. The man formerly known as Judge Francois—which most of us still call him out of habit—has a hidden side. If these pics of him leaving a hotel outside the city (with a scantily clad woman, no less) are any indication, I’m guessing he’s got some explaining to do.
Boo-hoo, VirginVixen. Here you are, saving yourself for “the one”, while Poppa Francois is slinging dick to anything in a skirt.
Come on, people. You have to see the irony in this, right?
At any rate, this one’s gonna sting a bit. Guess PrettyBoyD had better break out the Kleenex. Or might I suggest a pack of condoms instead?
Pro tip: Sad girls are an easy lay, kid. Take advantage while you can and show VV what she’s been missing!
Later, assholes.
—X
Chapter 13
BLUE
“Everything’s nice and clean, but I still say you should’ve let me get at least some decorations,” Jules huffs, glancing around at the extremely un-festive living room.
I do the same, imagining the place filled with foil balloons and colorful streamers, but that simply wasn’t in my budget. After working the morning shift at the diner, I headed right across the street to the liquor store and cashed my check. Seeing as how I’d given Tommy my last, I had to take from next week’s budget to spring for tonight’s pizza.
What I’m saying is, it was either food or decorations, and I chose food.
“It’s too late. Ricky’s dropping her and Shane off any minute now.”
Jules attempts to fluff a completely lifeless throw pillow while eyeing me. “He sticking around for the party?” she asks.
“Ricky? Nope. We’re not exactly on speaking terms right now.”
Jules’s brow quirks. “Uh oh. What’d he do this time?”
I’m not exactly at liberty to tell her the truth—that a rapey van showed up when he was late getting Scar from school—so I keep it vague.
“We just had a minor falling out,” I explain.
“Well, it’s probably best he doesn’t stay then. Scar doesn’t need any drama tonight. Still can’t believe she’s already fifteen! Pretty soon, you’ll be stocking the kid up on condoms and birth control,” she teases, but I don’t laugh, keeping to myself that Scar’s already tested those waters.
“Hopefully not too soon,” I say back.
Jules has moved on to re-wrapping the cord to the vacuum when she speaks again.
“Heard from Mike?”
The mere mention of his name has me wanting to play in the busiest of traffic.
“Nope, and I’m glad for it. As far as I’m concerned, that place can keep him. He’d just come home to raise hell and make life ten times more miserable.”
“He ever been to a place like that before?” Jules asks.
“He’s never cared enough to bother even trying to get himself cleaned up. Hell, he’s only there now because Uncle Dusty literally dragged his ass down there.”
I know there’s absolutely nothing funny about what I’ve just said, but the memory of Uncle Dusty busting in with a replacement door and tarp was one of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life.
“This is a laughing matter to you?” Jules asks with a smile.
“Not at all, but when you’re me, you learn to find humor where you can.”
She pushes the vacuum against the wall near the kitchen and grabs me around my shoulders.
“I know things suck right now, but look at the bright side. Things can only get better from here, right?”
I peer up at her. “Famous last words.”
She doesn’t get the chance to respond because there’s a heavy knock at the door. I slip from beneath her arm and rush to peek out the window.
I count two pairs of crazy-expensive gym shoes standing on my porch, because that’s all I can see. There are colorful bags and huge bouquets of balloons blocking everything else. To the point that I can’t tell which two of the triplets are waiting to be let in, and who the two silhouettes still in West’s car belong to.
I pull the door open, then hold the security door to let in who I now know to be West and Sterling, which means the two in the car are Dane and Joss.
“Uh… hi.”
I pause
to scan all that these two are hauling inside my house.
“I thought you asked if you could grab Scar a gift. Singular,” I say, smiling to myself. I should’ve known West would go above and beyond that.
Hence the reason Scar’s early Christmas gift from him was a game system that probably costs more than a car payment.
“You know me. Go big or go home,” West answers, leaning in to kiss me before he sets Scar’s things on the couch.
There are at least ten bags here, and not all are presents. I see drinks, snacks, and paper goods. Between him and Sterling, I spot a dozen and a half balloons, maybe two. And speaking of Sterling, he’s holding a huge box I can now see is a birthday cake. One with a sticker on the side, stating that it was mixed and baked in a peanut-free zone.
My eyes are blurry, but I’m not going to cry. I do, however, want to squeeze West to death with a hug. So, I do that the second he passes the balloons off to Jules.
“Whoa,” he says with a laugh, catching me when I basically attack him.
“Thank you so much,” I manage to say.
Thank you for caring so much. Thank you for doing for my sister what I wasn’t able to do. Thank you for… just loving me.
He presses a kiss to my cheek and is in no rush to let me go. Jules and Sterling seem to notice that.
“Guess we’re on setup duty,” she teases. “We’ll get started in the kitchen.”
With that, Sterling follows her, and now I’m not so guarded since it’s just West and me. Despite how hard I fought against it, I do shed a few tears, but they’re happy tears for once.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I whisper.
“Mmm… actually, you’re wrong,” he replies. “I did have to, because I love Scar, and I definitely love her crazy-ass sister.”
A laugh slips out and I squeeze tighter. There are no words for how much I appreciate his thoughtfulness. When I finally do let go, it’s only because I know Scar’s on her way and, unlike before, we’ve got decorations to set up.
Jules and Sterling take care of putting out some of the snacks, while West and I hide the gifts in my room and scatter the balloons all over. Their colorful strings hang down, adding to the ambiance, and I light a few candles so we can kill some of the lights. By the time I hear Scar’s key in the door, everything’s perfect.
This isn’t exactly a surprise party, because she knew we were all hanging out, but she definitely wasn’t expecting all this. Hell, neither was I. But West and crew came through in the eleventh hour to save the evening.
Scar’s eyes light up and that’s enough to make it all worthwhile for me.
“What the heck did you do?” she asks after a sharp gasp.
“Well, actually—”
“Your sister loves you and she went all out to make today special,” West cuts in, stopping me short of giving him and his brothers credit.
When Scar rushes me with a hug, I mouth a tearful, “Thank you,” in West’s direction, to which he responds with a quick nod.
“This looks great!” Scar beams, grabbing a balloon down from the ceiling to bop Shane on the cheek with it. He smiles at her when she does it, but I see the distance Scar spoke of. See it in the way that smile he wears doesn’t quite reach his eyes. If I had to guess, my assumption was right.
The bloom is off the rose and his interest is split between my sister and God knows how many other girls.
I’m pulled away from the quick observation when my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s that damn ‘Unavailable’ caller again. Typically, I’d at least try to pick up, knowing no one will actually say anything back, but not today. Today, I’m focusing on Scar.
West shoots me a questioning look when I shove the phone back in my hoodie, but the quick flash of a smile kills his suspicion.
“Where’s Dane?” Scar asks, glancing around the small room, thinking she somehow missed him.
“He’s in the car with Joss,” West answers, aiming a thumb over his shoulder in that general direction.
“Is… everything okay?” I ask.
He shoots me a hesitant look and his expression says a lot. “You didn’t see X’s post late last night?”
Curious, I shake my head. “I stopped paying attention after the Headmaster Harrison update. What’d I miss?”
West seems troubled when his gaze leaves me. “Some shit came out about Joss’s dad and she’s not taking it too well. She needed to vent to Dane for a bit, but they’ll be in in a sec.”
While it’s sweet that she pushed herself to come tonight, I would’ve understood if she hadn’t. Take it from me, family drama is the worst, but it’s even worse when you have to fake a smile.
Guess there’s nothing to do about it now. She’s already here.
“Mind helping me pour drinks? Pizza should be here any minute.”
Jules perks up when I ask. “Of course.”
We disappear in the kitchen, just the two of us, and I feel her staring while I arrange the cutesy unicorn cups West chose. He’s worse than me, seeing Scar as a little girl and not the almost-woman that she is.
“Look at you,” Jules whispers.
“What?”
She rolls her eyes like I should already know what she means. “Blue, he’s got you glowing so bright you’re practically radioactive,” she whispers, grinning just as big as I am now.
I take a deep breath to avoid gushing about him like I really want to. “I don’t know he’s just—”
“Amazing? Thoughtful? Sexy as hell?” she interjects.
I smile even bigger now. “All those things and then some.”
She lets out a silent squeal and pushes me deeper into the kitchen after making sure no one else had come in.
“This is the first time I’ve been around you two since you made things official, and OH MY GOD!”
She whispers that last part, fanning herself like she’s going to die of a heat stroke.
“Shut up,” I say with a laugh.
“You two are so hot together! And it’s only been like five minutes! Has he said the ‘L’ word yet?”
I pause simply because I know the wait will drive her crazy.
“Blue!”
“He said it a little over a week ago,” I admit.
“Ah! I bet it was perfect! Tell me all about it!”
“Later.”
“And I want all the details,” she insists. “Gah! I wish I could’ve convinced my parents to let me go down south with you guys. Just so I can drool over you two drooling over each other.”
But before I can say I wish she’d gotten a ‘yes’ from her parents too, a tall messy-haired guy darkens the doorway—both hands tucked in the pockets of faded jeans. West slinks into the room like he knows we were talking about him. Chances are he heard Jules’s big mouth.
“Need some help?” he offers.
Jules shoots me a look and quickly speaks up. “Actually, you two can cover this. I’ll go join the party.”
Her brows bounce at me before she exits, leaving West and I alone.
“I’ll pour. Mind opening the pack of plates and napkins?”
“Whatever you need,” he answers.
My teeth sink into my lip when I can’t help but check him out. The mere thought of him sends my temp soaring.
In my peripheral, I watch as he does what I asked. Then, when he’s finished, his massive body emits heat like a furnace as he approaches from behind. Still pouring, my eyes flit to where both his hands come to rest at either side of me now, sandwiching me between his body and the counter. I feel his breath on my neck and, right away, I’m flashing back to the quickie we snuck in the other night.
“So, I was thinking. We’ve hung out, you’ve been to my games… we’ve fucked,” he adds with an amused rasp, “but we’ve never been on an actual date. What do you say we change that?”
I feel flush all of a sudden, which is strange considering how much less intimate a date is in comparison to the other things we’ve done.
�
�Blue Riley, more affectionately known as Southside,” he teases, “would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Snow Ball next weekend?”
I was with him right up until he mentioned the dance—all the hoopla, all the people.
“She accepts,” Scar beams.
Apparently, she’d been spying from the doorway. I could only hope she missed some of the conversation, but…
“I know everyone looks at me like I’m some toddler or whatever, but I’m putting my foot down,” she asserts. “Blue will be going to that dance if I have to chloroform her and send her out the door in a bathrobe.”
Despite still being on the fence about this, I smile, remembering something she said. About needing me to be okay so she can be okay. Maybe this—seeing me behave like a normal eighteen year-old for once—is part of that.
Glancing back over my shoulder and into West’s eyes, I respond to his request. “I accept.”
He lays a very PG-rated kiss on me and leans away.
“Good. Otherwise, I was gonna take Scar up on her offer,” he teases.
He heads to the living room with the first round of drinks, and I hear the door open. I get there just as Dane and Joss are being let in and she’s obviously been crying—red-rimmed eyes, flushed cheeks. Our eyes lock for a moment and she forces a tight smile, but she’s definitely not okay.
Dane’s at her side like the loyal friend I’ve seen him be to her, but whatever family drama she has going on looks heavy. Still, she seems determined not to let it ruin her night, and I can definitely relate to that.
If she needs tips on how to fake being okay, I’m her girl.
Between pizza, chips, and cake, I think we all ate more than we probably should’ve. Hence the reason we each struggled to keep our eyes open through the second movie. Things livened up, though, when it came time for Scar to open presents—the phone case I promised, a sweater from Jules, earrings from Joss, and a $300 gift card from the triplets for new video games to go with her system.