The hit to her experience bar was unfortunate, but mostly Alex was frustrated by the new challenge. She'd been rolling along, dispensing the herds with relative ease for the last few months, and now this swarm of Homing Terrorbees would slow that progress. It was already late March in the real world, and she only had so much time to get to level 20. Alex assumed the Warped Mother would be a special challenge requiring extra time to devise a solution.
As Alex bit down on the blood lemon, letting the juicy fruit drip over her hands, she spied three shapes descending from the canopy. Her minions had returned home safe.
"Thank Merlin we're safe here from those stupid Homing Terrorbees."
As soon as she said the words, she knew she'd gravely miscalculated.
Homing Terrorbees. Unrelenting Attack.
"Shit," said Alex, dropping the half-eaten blood lemon into the underbrush and sending a mental command to her minions to flee across the chasm to the Warsong Plains, while she took off in a northerly direction away from her camp and spawn point.
Alex made it down the hill, low branches whipping at her arms, high grass tugging at her waist, before she heard the angry buzzing.
"No, no, no," she said, pushing herself for speed.
She had to get as far away from the spawn point as possible. Alex hadn't noticed the debuff when she'd respawned, but now she couldn't unsee it: Unrelenting Attack. The terrorbees had given it to her upon her death, which allowed them to track her across the forest.
The debuff wasn't permanent—it only had a minute left before it was gone—but if she couldn't get away they would kill her again, and when she respawned, they'd keep doing it.
Respawn camping.
The term was usually applied in player versus player games, when one side stood around the respawn point for the other team and killed them when they appeared, over and over, until they quit or logged out.
It wasn't usually an issue in player versus environment games, unless someone placed their respawn point in a dangerous area. Alex hadn't expected to receive a debuff that lasted through death. It wasn't an ability that she'd ever seen in another game, giving new meaning to the terror in the terrorbees.
When she glanced over her shoulder, she realized she wasn't going to be able to outrun them, and since she'd sent away her minions, there'd be no invulnerability or ghosting to temporarily protect her.
"Log out," she said.
Log out? [Y/N]
"Yes," she said while swiping the air.
Are you sure? [Y/N]
Log out costs 1,000 XP. The following log out will cost 5,000 XP.
"Yes," she said again, her voice trembling as she kept moving through the undergrowth.
You will log out in 30 seconds...29...28...
The buzzing grew louder as the swarm approached. She felt the vibration in her gut and in her jaw. Her skin itched in anticipation. It was a race to escape the swarm to reach log out.
...22...21...20...
When the first terrorbees descended, flying at her like unerring darts, Alex blasted them with Wind Gust.
But the swarm had learned from their earlier battles, and small groupings came at her from multiple directions. Alex fired every which way, trying to keep them at bay until the countdown was complete.
...15...14...13...
The terrorbees flew down, and around, and through the bushes, coming up like aircraft under the radar. A quivering terror had taken hold, but it didn't slow her spells, and she blasted the terrorbees through her own tears.
...8...7...6...
The first hit came when a trio of terrorbees flew directly down at her, where she hadn't been looking.
A Homing Terrorbee misses you!
You have been stung by a Homing Terrorbee for 22 damage!
You have been stung by a Homing Terrorbee for 18 damage!
Your Wind Gust spell has been interrupted!
The hits snowballed as her failed Wind Gust let another dozen terrorbees reach her. At each sting, a whimper of pain slipped from her lips, but she fought through it.
You have been stung by a Homing Terrorbee for 18 damage!
A Homing Terrorbee misses you!
You have been stung by a Homing Terrorbee for 14 damage!
You have been stung by a Homing Terrorbee for 20 damage!
You have died!
As soon as Alex reappeared at her spawn point, she went through the log out sequence as quickly as possible, but the buzzing was louder than previously.
"Come on, please," she said, escaping in a southward direction, ignoring the way the trees slapped her in the face.
The swarm caught her at fifteen seconds, coming from all directions, killing her quicker than before.
You have died!
The swarm of Homing Terrorbees was on her before she'd even finished the log out sequence.
You have died!
Respawn.
The terrorbees kept stinging her as she fought to log out.
You have died!
On the next respawn, she hit them with a Wind Gust, but the terrorbees were spread out enough that the ones not hit by the spell were able to kill her.
You have died!
She tried running.
You have died!
Used her Screechlion Jerkin, but it only restrained one terrorbee.
You have died!
You have lost a level! You are now level 12!
Respawn.
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have lost a level! You are now level 11!
Somewhere below ten, she stopped fighting. Not because she'd given up, but the cumulative stings had left her unable to move. Her brain had been overloaded with pain, leaving her curled in a ball.
Through the constant agony and regeneration, a horrifying thought consumed her.
What if she was stuck like this forever?
You have died!
You have died!
You have died!
You have lost a level! You are now level 6!
No longer was she thinking about reaching level 20, or that she'd have to leave the Hundred Halls. The only remaining kernel of sanity within the cage of pain was the desperate hope that something would release her from the cycle of death and respawn.
You have lost a level! You are now level 2!
As the last of her levels disappeared, Alex focused her mental energy on the hopes that the game would kick her out when she reached level 1.
You have lost a level! You are now level 1!
The horror of her continued existence brought a chest-heaving sob as the Homing Terrorbees, which covered her in a blanket of death, killed Alex once again.
You have lost a level! You are now level 0!
You are now logged out of Gamemakers Online!
Chapter Thirty-One
It'd been three years since her dad had died unexpectedly from a stroke while he was doing a side job, putting on a new roof in Mt. Vernon. Alex remembered the feeling of helplessness when she'd heard the news. It was like acid on the bones, draining her of every last bit of energy until she could barely make it to school. She didn't do any gaming in those days either. It didn't feel like there was any point.
As Alex lay on the wood flooring next to the giant obsidian cube with her arm awkwardly draped over a throw pillow, she felt like her dad had died all over again.
Getting to join Gamemakers Hall had opened up a pathway she'd never thought could exist. Alex had always assumed that things like becoming a mage, or even traveling outside her small town, were what happened to other people, not her.
Now that part of her had died.
When Alex mustered enough energy to
stand again, she shuffled through the hallways like a forgotten ghost.
Footsteps coming around a corner sparked a hope that Bucket or Martina might be out of Gamemakers Online. Though they couldn't do anything about what had happened, they would at least understand how devastated she was.
When a shock of red hair swayed around the corner, Alex's gut twisted. Though they barely knew each other, Lily Brodziak was the last person she wanted to see. The former MechLeague world champion's lips flattened when she looked up to see who she was standing in the hallway with. Alex flinched even before the words were out of Lily's mouth.
"Let me guess, can't exploit your way to success in this game?" asked Lily with a snapping head tilt.
"Can you do me a favor?" asked Alex, fighting not to cry in front of Lily.
"Why would I do you a favor?"
The snark helped Alex hold back the flood behind her eyes. "I think you'll enjoy this favor. I need someone to tell Professor Marzio that I quit."
Lily's eyes rounded as the angles in her lips softened. "Oh. Just that? That you quit?"
"Does anything else matter?" said Alex roughly. "Not that he'll probably care, since I've only seen him once and this stupid game didn't teach me one damn thing about magic."
The apathy that had her in its grips was annihilated by a sudden anger. Heat rose to her face, and as Lily looked at her with what felt like pity, Alex stormed past, rushing up to the room she'd barely slept in.
After digging through her pockets, she found she didn't have enough to pay for a train ticket back to Kentucky. Alex eyed the thin spell book she'd found earlier in the year. There was sure to be a pawnshop in the city where she could sell it.
Alex stuffed her clothes and notebooks into her backpack, threw it over her shoulder, and marched out of Gamemakers Hall. A pang of ache hit her when her foot crossed the threshold, making her stumble, but she kept going, slamming the gate open on her way out.
It was late afternoon. The shadows pooled around the old industrial buildings. Alex was struck by the reek of petroleum. She'd spent the last six months in a pristine forest filled with rich scents that had tantalized the mind.
This, this is a garbage dump, she thought.
Near a building with the windows knocked out and graffiti sprayed across the lower walls, a shadow detached, moving towards her ominously. Alex sensed people beneath the gloom, and a volcano of anger rose to her lips.
"I don't care who you are, but if you take another step towards me I'm going to rip your entrails out with my bare hands and choke you with them," said Alex with fists at her sides.
The shadow hesitated before slipping back towards the industrial building, disappearing through an open door.
Alex managed to make it to the Green Line without seeing another person, which was probably the best for both parties. She had enough change to make it into the center wards of the city, where she found a pawnshop after a couple hours of wandering around. She sold the spell book for over two hundred dollars, which was probably a rip off, but she didn't care. She wanted to get home and feel her mom's arms around her.
Before the day was over, she managed to find a bus route that would take her to Lexington. Despite feeling emotionally exhausted, Alex didn't sleep a wink on the ride back, mostly because the air conditioning was on too high, leaving her shivering in her seat.
Early the next morning, she caught a ride from an older couple headed towards her small town that didn't have the decency to be identified on a map. By the time she made it home, she was fantasizing how it would feel to be in her own bed rather than in a pile of ratty tigersloth furs and to eat real food that came out of a can rather than the mystery meat that usually came out of that stupid black pot.
The lights were off when she pushed through the screen door.
"Hello? Mom?"
It was Tuesday, which meant she would be off work. Alex had expected to find her mom sitting on the couch with her needles and yarn in her hands.
"Mom? Are you here?" she called out.
A quick check of the bedroom revealed that the trailer was empty. Alex peeked into the refrigerator to find the lettuce was brown and the milk expired.
Her skin went cold when she saw the old hospital wristband lying next to the empty fruit bowl. The date showed that Regina Duke had stayed at Mt. Vernon General in January for a week.
The last few times she'd talked to her mother she hadn't been feeling well. Alex had no idea that it'd been bad enough to require a hospital visit, especially since they didn't have health insurance. The only way they'd take her was if she were dying.
Alex put her hand to her lips, which had gone numb along with the rest of her face. It felt like she'd just recovered from her dad's death...
"No, don't buy trouble, Alexandria," she told herself.
The rumble of a distant motor woke her from her stupor.
"Frank..."
Alex ran down the gravel road towards Frank's trailer, which was nestled in a hollow. The yard was covered with the frames of old cars long ago rusted to obscurity. The old faded orange truck rambled down the hill with Frank and her mother inside.
Breathlessly, Alex stopped on the driver side as Frank leaned out the open window. His hair had gone completely gray except for a few patches in his beard. He had the kindest eyes of anyone Alex had ever met, and nut brown skin and valleys of wrinkles from working in the train yard.
"Alexandria," he said, the corners of his eyes tugging. His soft baritone was both a greeting and a comfort.
Her mother had her head on his shoulder, asleep. Her cheeks were hollow.
At that moment, she surfaced awake, eyes bleary. "Alexandria? Is that you?"
"Hey, Mom," said Alex, trying to restrain the urge to climb over Frank and hug her mom. "Is everything okay?"
The way Frank looked at her told her the story. Her heart sunk deeper into her stomach, trying to burrow its way somewhere less real.
"She's on a number of pain pills," said Frank. "Makes her sleepy."
"But what about...?"
Her mom lifted her head, her eyes becoming alert. "Hi, Alexandria."
"Hey, Mom."
"I'm sorry, sweetie. The doctors told me I have a brain tumor and not the kind you recover from. Doctors say I ain't got but half a year in me at best. Probably less."
The world shifted under Alex's feet. Frank grabbed her arm so she didn't slide over onto the gravel.
"I don't understand," said Alex, hearing her own voice as distant. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Your mom didn't want to upset you and then when she had a seizure at the bowling alley and had to go to the hospital, we tried, but no one ever answered at that hall place of yours." Frank offered a consolatory smile. "But you're here now. That's all that matters."
"How's school, sweetie? Everything going well?" asked her mother with a slight slur.
Alex recalled talking to her mom at Christmas. She'd sounded drunk at the time, but now she realized that it'd been the pills. It was probably why they'd taken her around town to see the lights. She wouldn't get to see them again—ever.
"I'm...it's…" She shook her head. "I'm here now."
Frank drove the truck to the trailer and helped bring her mom inside. When Alex put her mom's arm over her shoulders to help her walk, she was so light it was if her bones had been hollowed out. They got her to the couch.
"I can take it from here, Frank," said Alex, throwing her arms around Frank to give him a big hug. "Thank you for taking care of her when I wasn't here."
"My pleasure," said Frank, squeezing her back. "You probably don't have any food, so I'll come by later with some groceries to tide you over, and if you need anything before then, you know how to get ahold of me."
When she went back inside, her mother was asleep, snoring lightly. Alex unlaced her shoes and pulled them off, setting them by the door.
Six months, at best.
Alex sat on the recliner across from the couch and watched her mom
sleep. Her chest rose so softly, almost like a baby bird's, that she wondered if she were still breathing. Alex resisted the urge to lean her cheek by her mother's mouth to check for breath.
When she reached down to move the basket of knitting that her mother took with her wherever she went, a dam broke inside of her when she realized that her mother might never knit again. Tears streamed down Alex's face, dripping from her cheeks as she sobbed into her hands.
Alex cried until it felt like the tears were being squeezed from her bones. Her stomach ached from the feeling of helplessness. First her father, now her mother. When she was gone there'd be no one left.
Just her.
Alex sat and watched her mom well into the night, never sleeping. Every time she felt her eyes drift closed, the fear that her mother would pass before she woke would take hold, startling her.
"What am I going to do?"
Chapter Thirty-Two
For the next week, Alex fell into a ritual. In the morning she roused her mom, helped her to the bathroom, and made a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with apricot jelly. After eating, her mom would fall asleep again.
In the afternoon in the lull between the rounds of pills, her mother was awake enough for conversation. They didn’t talk about the cancer or Gamemakers Hall, but the one thing left Alex could do with her mother: knitting.
When Alex had been younger, her mother taught her how to knit, but it'd never been a task she enjoyed. But in the sunset of her mother's life, she would have done anything that her mother wanted.
Working the needles and yarn was more soothing than she remembered, but maybe it was because Alex didn't want to think. She let the pattern—wrap, poke, tighten, loop—smooth away the maelstrom that lay beneath the surface.
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