Finding Alexei

by Kendall Ryan

  Smooth. And probably a bit easier than getting into the truth right now.

  Valerie seems to buy it, and nods before turning to face me again. “Seriously, though, your species is fucked up, Lex.”

  “Language, Val.” I frown. “And men are not a separate species.”

  “They might as well be,” she snaps back.

  I lead her to the couch, and we sink into the cushions side by side. “Come tell me all about it. You hungry?”

  She shrugs.

  “Ryleigh and I were just discussing dinner. Stay and eat. And then you can tell me whose ass I need to kick.” I flex my biceps for good measure.

  This gets a smirk out of Valerie, followed by a dramatic sigh. “Tempting offer . . .”

  “You want to eat with us or what?” I ask again. I’m always hungry, but it is dinnertime. If I send her home hungry, my mom will have something to say about that.

  Valerie shakes her head. “I don’t want to impose.”

  “You’re not. We were just about to make something,” Ryleigh says.

  We were actually just about to squeeze in some sex before dinner too, but my sister doesn’t need to know that. I’m pleased to see that Ryleigh’s not thrown off or annoyed by this unexpected intrusion. Maybe she’s just curious to see me in big-brother mode.

  “Actually, let’s order takeout so you don’t have to cook.”

  Ryleigh nods. “Whatever you guys want. I don’t mind either way.”

  I grab the stack of takeout menus I keep in the kitchen drawer and hand them out to the girls. “Thai. Mediterranean. Japanese. Italian. Mexican.”

  “Mexican,” they both say at once.

  I call in the order on my phone and settle back down beside Valerie. Even though she’s putting on a brave front, for her to drive over here means something’s really wrong.

  “So, tell me what happened,” I say.

  Valerie looks down, picking at her thumbnail. “What kind of asshat breaks up with someone right before the winter formal? Now I don’t have a date to the dance.”

  I rise to my feet. What a punk ass kid. “I’ll go talk to him, set him straight.”

  She grabs my arm and gives it a tug. “Oh no, you don’t.”

  I look over to Ryleigh, and she’s biting back a grin. I recall then the fact that she’s an only child and has never had someone to play the concerned older brother for her.

  Releasing a heavy exhale, I drop back onto the couch beside my youngest sister. She’s changed so much these last couple of years after discovering makeup and boys. You’d think that since I already went through this with my other two sisters, I’d be used to the drill. But when I look at Valerie, I still see the skinny, annoying seven-year-old she was when I moved out of the house ten years ago. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she’s nearly a grown woman.

  “We’d only been out a couple of times, but I was happy knowing I had someone to go to the dance with. I bought a dress and everything,” Valerie says.

  Ryleigh leans forward and places her hand on Valerie’s. “Guys aren’t everything. Trust me. My friends and I used to go to the school dances together, and we always had way more fun than our friends whose dates didn’t like to dance.”

  “I like that plan,” I say, smirking.

  Valerie rolls her eyes. “Of course you do.”

  Ryleigh releases Valerie’s hand and sits back. “I promise you’ll still have fun. Probably more fun because you won’t have to worry about if your date is having a good time.”

  Valerie thinks it over. “My friend Sara is going alone.”

  Ryleigh nods. “There you go.”

  Satisfied that the problem is solved, Ryleigh gets up with the intention of checking on Ella, if I had to guess, or maybe just to give us a minute alone.

  Valerie shoots me a look, and I sense that she wants to ask more about who Ryleigh is and exactly what she’s doing staying here. It’s rare for me to have a woman here, and I’m sure it’s nothing Valerie’s ever seen before.

  But since I’m not ready to answer any questions about that yet, I pull her in for a quick hug. “You okay now?”

  She nods. “I’m fine now.” Then she raises her eyebrows dramatically a few times. “So, Ryleigh? Spill it, bro. I need deets.”

  “Shut it. Let’s eat, yeah?”

  She purses her lips and pouts.

  “No more questions, and I’ll take you out for ice cream later.”

  “Gelato, and you have a deal,” Valerie says, smiling.

  As if I could say no to that. “Deal.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Alexei

  Valerie, that little freaking snitch. Of course she rushed right home and told my mother I have a girl living with me.

  And less than three days later, here we are on my mother’s doorstep in the suburbs to “have dinner,” which is code for my family getting to meet Ryleigh and my mother to scope her out and decide if she’s good enough for her son.

  Just fucking great.

  Ryleigh has enough going on. I really didn’t want to subject her to my family and all their questions until—well, I don’t know when. But certainly not now, not until things calm down some.

  The front door swings open, and with it, a burst of warm air.

  Ryleigh fidgets nervously beside me, and I place my hand against the small of her back. While I’m not as nervous as she is, I’m definitely a little overwhelmed at the idea of dealing with my mother right now.

  My mother, dressed in a gray sweat suit, frowns as her gaze moves past me to Ryleigh and Ella, the line between her brows deepening. “Who is this?”

  And she doesn’t say it as a breezy, easygoing who’s this? It comes out in her thick Russian accent, sounding a lot more like who the fuck is this girl trailing after my son, and why in God’s name does she have a baby I know nothing about?

  Shit. This is going to fucking suck.

  I lean close to my mother and whisper, “Breathe, Ma, you invited us here. And be nice.”

  Her lips press together and she ushers us inside. “Come in, it’s freezing. And you have a little one.”

  Ryleigh grins, oblivious to the tension between my mother and me, thank God. Once we’re inside, she pushes the fuzzy blanket down that was protecting Ella’s head from the cold, and my mom leans closer to take a peek.

  “Oh, she’s brand new. Very precious, printsessa,” she coos, gently combing her fingers through Ella’s wavy blond hair.

  I chuckle as I watch my mom interact with her. She’s a grandmother six times over, a role she loves and excels at, but her youngest grandchild is almost a year old now. I have a feeling we’ll face some tough questions tonight, but I also predict that my mom will be holding Ella close and singing to her in Russian at some point too. She may come across as a hard-ass, but she has a major soft side, and babies are her number one weakness. Actually, now that I think about it, bringing home a woman to meet my mom for the first time, it might be genius of me to bring a baby along too.

  I take a deep breath and steel myself for what’s to come. “Mom, this is Ryleigh and Ella. And Ryleigh, this is my mother, Irina.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you for having us.” Ryleigh smiles at my mom, taking it all in. She looks genuinely excited to be here. “Is this where you grew up?”

  Ryleigh’s gaze roams over the overstuffed bookshelves and the dusty photos hanging on the wall of my sisters and me from first grade through senior year of high school. It’s embarrassing, but honestly, I don’t care that Ryleigh’s seeing it. I have an amazing family, and yeah, my mom is nuts, but she loves us. When we lost my dad my senior year of high school, it only made us all grow closer as we realized how precious our time together really is.

  “Born and raised,” I say proudly. Most pro-league players move around a lot, so I feel fortunate to live in the same city where my family lives. Who knows, I could get traded in the future, and if I do, I’ll probably end up moving my entire family along with
me. Valerie would throw a shit fit at leaving her friends, but whatever.

  “This is so great. So homey.” Ryleigh smiles again, shifting Ella’s sleeping weight in her arms. I can tell she’s truly impressed, and it makes my gut twist, wondering about her own family home life.

  Two of my sisters appear from the hall, both with questioning looks as they take in Ryleigh and Ella standing there.

  Yeah, this is going to be even more awkward than I realized.

  I take a deep breath and try to smile in an attempt to reassure Ryleigh. “Tracey, this is Ryleigh.” I nod to Ryleigh. “And you remember Valerie?”

  Ryleigh reaches out a hand. “Yes, of course. Nice to meet you. And good to see you again, Valerie.”

  My sisters each shake her offered hand and take a moment to admire Ella just like Mom did. But their confusion and uncertainty are obvious. They want to know what the fuck is going on, and I can’t blame them. Are we dating? Is she living with me? These are all good questions. Who does Ella belong to? Too bad I’m fresh out of answers.

  It isn’t like me to bring a woman home. And it’s not like I called them and talked about Ryleigh, or even told them I was seeing someone. This is all coming as a complete shock. And to be honest, if one of my sisters brought some random new guy around, I’d probably act like a fucking asshole to the dude. It’s practically my job as a brother, especially since I’m the oldest.

  “Where’s Jase tonight? The kids?” I ask Tracey. It’s way too quiet for her two- and three-year-olds to be here.

  “He took them to pick up ice cream for dessert. They’ll be back in a little bit.”

  I nod. So Ryleigh will really get thrown into the crazy tonight. I swear it’s like my sister gives those kids caffeine.

  “So, Ryleigh, do you want something to drink?” Tracey asks, her voice a little louder than necessary.

  Ryleigh’s eyes meet mine, and I give her a slight nod. “Go ahead. I’ll take Ella.”

  Ryleigh places her into my arms and goes with my sister to the kitchen. Valerie follows them, leaving me along with my mother.

  Ma’s face contorts as she stalks closer to press a finger into my chest. “Is she yours, Alexei? So help me God . . .”

  This has been my mom’s biggest fear since I was in high school. She always preached safe sex, and warned me about women who would want to trap me into parenthood and child support once I hit it big.

  I shake my head. “She’s not mine.”

  My mother physically sags with relief.

  Some weird part of me wants to add, But I wish she were.

  “Ryleigh is a woman I’ve started seeing. She’s amazing, Ma. And Ella’s mom split, so Ryleigh stepped up. It’s complicated, but it’s also not.”

  My mother’s eyes widen, and she nods. “Come on. Your sisters are probably roasting her over an open flame right about now.”

  I grin. Mom doesn’t know Ryleigh. She may look sweet and innocent, but trust me, she can hold her own. Even against my sisters.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ryleigh

  I’ve just dumped a load of laundry onto my bed to fold and settled Ella onto her Boppy pillow on the bed beside the pile of clothes. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed having easy access to a washing machine. This is way better than hauling clothes to a laundromat. Ella lets out a little squeal of approval, mirroring my sentiments exactly.

  “You might as well learn now.” I smile at her.

  Folding her clothes is a snap. They’re so unbelievably tiny; I still don’t think I’m used to it. I make a little stack of baby onesies and socks next to my leggings and sweatshirts. Then I smirk.

  Somehow one of Alexei’s T-shirts has gotten mixed in with my load of laundry. I hold it up next to my body. It’s enormous. The sight of it mixed in with Ella’s stuff and mine makes me smile. He’s at practice this morning—yes, I may have already looked at the clock at least seven times, already ready for him to be back home.

  Last night went so much smoother than I imagined. Meeting his mother was nerve-racking, but once we started talking, I think I won her over. She seemed so surprised and impressed that I was caring for a baby who wasn’t mine.

  Ella makes a squeal of happiness, and I chuckle at her. “You’re a good little helper, aren’t you?”

  I fold Alexei’s shirt with care and place it onto the stack just as my cell phone rings. I grab it from the bedside table to answer.

  It’s Andi.

  Holy shit. Finally.

  My heart jumps. “Andi? Where are you?”

  “I am so sorry. Is Ella okay?” She sounds tired and scared. It rattles something inside me.

  My gaze drifts to Ella, where she lays on the bed. “She’s fine. Where have you been?”

  “I’ll explain everything in person. Are you home?”

  Hot shame burns through me. She trusted me with her baby, and now here I am homeless. But I can’t tell her that. Not until I know what the hell is going on.

  “No, actually. But I can meet you somewhere. The coffee shop on the corner near the apartment.”

  “Sure,” she says.

  “Give me twenty minutes.”

  We end the call and I pack up Ella, buckling her into her carrier with a fuzzy blanket, and wonder if this is the last time I’ll do this. Trying to hold back tears as I look at her, tears for this little baby who’s been under my care for the past two weeks, so much so that I’m starting to get attached to her. But I can do this. So I grab her diaper bag filled with all her stuff, and then look down at her angelic face.

  “Come on, sweetie, we’re going to see your mommy.”

  I think about texting Alexei to let him know I’m going out, and then decide against it. He probably won’t see my text since he’s on the practice field, and if he does happen to see it, he’ll probably only worry. I want to see how all this will play out first, and then I’ll call him later.

  We arrive at the coffee shop, and Andi is already there. When I spot her across the room, my knees buckle. She looks even frailer than she did two weeks ago, and her hair is completely gone, at least as far as I can tell with the silk scarf wrapped around her head. Her face is pale, but her eyes light up when she sees us. She rises on unsteady feet, placing both hands flat against the table to help with her balance.

  “Oh my God,” Andi cries, reaching for Ella. “She looks so much bigger.”

  Still in a state of shock, I unbuckle the straps and lift Ella out, then hand her to her mother. “She’s been eating well,” I say.

  Andi sits down with Ella in her arms, quietly stroking her smooth cheeks and downy hair while tears stream from her eyes.

  I think I’m in a state of shock myself. Seeing her in this condition, I find all my unanswered questions start to come into focus. My heart breaks for Ella, for Andi, and for whatever this is that she’s going through. It’s such a tender moment that I don’t dare interrupt, despite all the questions buzzing through my brain.

  After several minutes, Andi wipes her cheeks and straightens in her seat. She’s still holding Ella close to her chest, but her gaze is now fixed on mine. “Thank you so much for taking care of her while I was away. I’m sorry for just leaving, but I knew I could trust you to do the right thing. I couldn’t bear to leave her to the system”

  I nod, not quite knowing what to say. “Where were you? Is everything . . . okay?”

  Andi looks down at her daughter and smiles sadly. There’s a pause before she speaks. “I have cancer. Have had it off and on for about four years now.”

  “What? Oh my God, I never knew.” I lean in closer, my eyes wide.

  She nods. “I was in remission while we lived together. I hoped I would stay that way. But I have an aggressive form of brain cancer that’s returned. It’s called glioblastoma. The radiation I just had was sort of a last-ditch effort, but my body didn’t respond well to it, so . . .”

  She doesn’t say anything else, and I suddenly understand why she left Ella with me—to go and get t
reatment in the hospital.

  “They say I have one to three months left. I’ve been in the hospital because my health is so compromised from the treatments they gave me, but I checked myself out this morning.”

  I reach for her hand and she clasps mine tightly, weaving her fingers between mine.

  “They want to move me to hospice right way. I told them I’d come back, but I had to get things in order with Ella first.”

  I nod, feeling numb.

  Andi reaches into her oversized purse and pulls out a stack of paperwork. A check made out in my name is paper-clipped to the pages. It’s for $2,406.12.

  She hands me a pen and pushes the stack of papers toward me. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I know you’d take good care of her. I’ve seen how hard you work, the sacrifices you’ve made.”

  “I don’t understand. What is all this?”

  “Guardianship paperwork. I want to see if you’ll agree to become Ella’s legal guardian so she doesn’t end up a ward of the state.”

  “You want me to adopt Ella?” I ask, my mouth suddenly dry. My entire world is spinning out of control right now. I don’t want to say no but at the same time I can barely even pay rent for myself let alone take care of a child. I’m mad and confused and overwhelmed. She can’t be serious. Only I’m pretty sure she is. Her expression is totally somber.

  “Yes.”

  “There has to be someone else. Your parents?”

  Andi shakes her head. She’s an only child, like me, it was something we talked about having in common, but I realize I never heard her mention her parents.

  “It’s just my mom. I never knew my father. My mom kicked me out when I was sixteen because I didn’t agree with her lifestyle.”

  “Her lifestyle?” I ask, realizing I’m still gripping her hand. I release my hold, and she moves her hand away to stroke Ella’s hair again.

  “Drinking. Drugs. A different boyfriend every week. I’ve been on my own since then. Finished high school, got a job. And then, well, you know.” She gestures to herself.