Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14)

by Morgan Kelley

  Only time would tell…

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  The Bog

  Stepping into that seedy pub was like stepping back in time. Fifteen years didn't change it much. The stools, the walls, and the smells were all the same.

  It was as if time didn't touch it.

  Hell!

  The dartboard was still there, and she had to laugh. Some things were immune to time, and this shithole dive was one of them.

  As they entered, she glanced over at Livy. She looked fine on the outside, but inside…yeah, she had to be suffering.

  “Want to get some blood sausages?” Elizabeth asked busting her ass.

  Livy groaned. “Hell no! I haven’t eaten them ever since that night. I do have to admit, even though I got sick, I still have some amazing memories of that evening.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “Let me guess—Gabe’s energetic cock?”

  She laughed manically. “Oh yeah!”

  That broke the ice. Livy didn't look as freaked out, and she was actually smiling as she took in the surroundings. One wouldn’t even know that Meghan O’Leary had been butchered there on the floor.

  Only, she never forgot.

  This was part of Elizabeth’s nightmare.

  She took the life, and she waded through the gore of the place. Livy never saw what he did to her.

  She didn't have the pleasure of seeing that poor girl posed so sickly on the floor.

  In a way, Livy was so damn lucky.

  “Is Patrick O’Leary still the owner of the bar?” she asked some young man behind the counter.

  “Yep.”

  “Is he around?”

  “Yep.”

  “Can we talk to him?”

  “Maybe. What’s it about?”

  Elizabeth pulled her badge. “Tell him it’s official business. We need to have a discussion.”

  The younger man shrugged, throwing the towel on the bar before he headed away to find his boss.

  Elizabeth and Livy both sat. When the man headed out of the back room, carrying a case of beer, he stopped dead in his tracks.

  His face said it all.

  He didn't want them there.

  “Get out!” he raged, pointing at the door. “I want you both out of my establishment. You’re not welcome in here!”

  Neither woman moved.

  It wasn’t as if this was the first time in their careers that someone reacted like this. If Elizabeth had a dollar for each outburst, she could retire.

  Believe it or not, they got it.

  Before them stood an angry father who had lost his only child to ‘The Butcher’. They didn't blame him. What he’d found that fateful day in his pub had changed his life.

  And theirs.

  “Mr. O’Leary,” Elizabeth said, facing him down. “We need to talk to you.”

  He didn't want to hear it.

  “There’s nothing to say,” he said, pointing to the muted TV across the bar.

  They both looked up. On it, of course, was Elizabeth and Gabe’s press conference, and it was playing in a loop on BNN.

  Well hell!

  Why was she not surprised?

  This was exactly the reason she hated reporters. It made their job harder.

  “I saw your interview. You put this case in a box and on a shelf for years. My daughter’s death didn't matter to you. She didn't matter to the FBI, but she mattered to me.”

  “Sir.”

  “You gave up, and you walked away. For the last fifteen years, I’ve mourned her. Each day, when I come in here, I see the ghost of Meghan. She haunts this bar, and she haunts me. She was more than a cold case to me. She was my whole life!”

  They understood.

  “I hate you both. I wish you both so much pain. If you were to die, I’d rejoice. Your shitty promises made me into this. Now get out of my bar!”

  He heaved the box of beer at the wall, and it crashed to the ground.

  “Get out!”

  Livy and Elizabeth headed toward the door. His shouts of profanity followed them until they were outside.

  “Well, he hates us,” Livy said.

  Elizabeth wasn’t surprised. It hurt that she’d handled the situation, and still had to deal with the angry families.

  “Yeah, welcome to the story of my life.”

  “Elizabeth, I’m sorry,” Livy offered.

  Yeah, so was she.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Hoover Building

  It didn't take long to get back across DC and to the FBI offices. The entire way, Livy didn't say a word and neither did Elizabeth.

  The whole case was weighing on their shoulders.

  Livy had to face her demons, and the proof of what had happened after she bailed. Everything had been dumped on one person, and Elizabeth had become vilified.

  The whole thing sucked.

  As they parked in the lot, they saw Ethan and Agent Melrose returning too. In fact, they parked nearby.

  “I need to check in with my husband,” she offered.

  “Yeah, you should,” Elizabeth stated. She knew there was a storm brewing between her and Ethan, and they needed to deal with it.

  This was bound to be ugly.

  She was damn angry over it.

  “I’ll meet you in the morgue,” Elizabeth said. “I won’t start without you. Take a few to get on the same page with Gabe.”

  She laughed. “That would take more than a few minutes. Try months.”

  “Now you’re preachin’ to the choir.”

  Livy kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Once out of the vehicle, Livy headed off. Elizabeth could feel eyes on her. When she turned, Ethan wasn’t far away, and he was watching her.

  No, make that studying her.

  The tension in his body was visible.

  Elizabeth didn't cross toward him. Her legs wouldn’t move. It was as if she was locked in concrete. Her anger was weighing her down.

  “I’ll see you inside,” Blackhawk said to Agent Melrose. “I have to get my ass kicked by a pregnant woman.”

  The man scurried away, needing a break too.

  As Ethan approached his wife, it was clear that she didn't look happy. In fact, she looked pissed.

  “Do you want to have this here or inside?”

  “Inside,” she stated, trying to keep her temper in check. She was angry, but it wasn’t all at him.

  It was at her too.

  This mess was partially her fault. One shitty choice had destroyed happiness.

  Life.

  Love.

  One bad decision was tearing the sturdy foundation of her life apart, one brick at a time.

  Together, they headed in. As they navigated through the throngs of people, Ethan led her to a quiet place where they could talk. Off the morgue, there were rooms for the families to grieve after viewing their deceased loved ones.

  They were soundproof and perfect for the ass chewing he was surely getting.

  When he closed the door, she stood there, saying nothing. Well, it looked like he was going to be taking the first shot. It was as if his wife knew he wanted to have her come at him first.

  She was trying to disarm him without saying a damn word, and that pissed him off.

  “Don’t you ever dismiss me like you did today, Elizabeth! I’m not one of your minions. I’m your partner, and you need to remember that.”

  She laughed, and it wasn’t in amusement.

  It was cold and bitter.

  “One of my minions? Oh, well excuse me for being angry with you. I found out that one of the men I love was also one of the assholes who made my life hell. It’s a little shocking because I didn't think you were like that, Ethan. I’d hoped you wouldn’t be a dick, but I can see that’s not entirely true.”

  He moved toward her. “That’s not who I am. Fifteen years ago, I was different. I’d lived thro
ugh a lot and had so much to learn. Yes, I was an asshole. Yes, I was one of the agents who tortured you. Fate had the last laugh. She thought she’d be funny and paired me off with the newbie I dismissed. How’s that for a giant kick to the ego?”

  She crossed her arms. “You were more than a dick, Ethan. What they did to me…it broke me. I cried over it. I struggled to fit in. I was the prey, and they were the merciless predators. Did you marry me knowing what you did? Did you recognize me?”

  He crowded her. “No. I didn't know it was you. Had I known, I would have apologized. I would have owned it. I made a mistake, Elizabeth. I crossed a line in my youth. Are you going to let it damage us?”

  “It already has.”

  It hung between them.

  “I see.”

  “You don’t see. I hated them for so many years. They humiliated me, and it pushed me down that path. It pushed me into countless relationships where I tried to find peace. It opened me up to sleeping with my partner. It nearly destroyed me.”

  He moved closer, feeling panicked. She was right. He preyed on her. They all did. They were more than assholes.

  They were bullies.

  He knew she hated that.

  Now he had to make it right.

  “Forgive me. If you know me at all, you know that’s not me, and it hasn’t been for the last six years, Elizabeth. I was a bully. I crossed a line, but you have to believe that I’m truly sorry. With my whole heart, I’m sorry for hurting you.”

  She looked up at him, and her eyes filled with tears.

  It wasn’t only this.

  It was everything weighing her down.

  “It’s crushing me, Ethan. It’s all crushing me. I feel like I’m being buried under the weight of it all.”

  He moved against her, pinning his wife to the wall. With his mouth, he sought hers. Gently, and with love, he kissed her. Part of it was to heal him, but it was also to heal her. Love built them, and he had to believe it would hold up under everything that was coming.

  They were stronger than the oncoming storm.

  They were unbreakable.

  She sobbed into the kiss, and it only made him kiss her more. As tears streamed down her cheeks, he refused to let her go. If he did, Ethan believed she’d be gone forever. He’d come close to losing her, and now he had to fight with all he had inside him.

  This battle wasn’t only for her heart.

  It was for her.

  His hands went into her hair, and he held on through the battle of wills. At first, she didn't touch him, but slowly, she slid her fingers up his back until she was clinging to him.

  The kiss was heated.

  The entire room exploded in lust.

  As long as they still had this, they could find their way back to center again. This would help them navigate through it.

  Ethan used his free hand to push her coat from her body. It fell to the floor in a pile. His was next.

  As their mouths moved against each other, seeking what they each needed most, the clothing also began falling away.

  Layer by layer, like the hurt, they peeled it back to get to the love beneath it all.

  Elizabeth knew what concession Ethan was making for her. He didn't have sex at work. The two never crossed, but now he was meeting her halfway.

  He was trying to show her how sorry he was. The place that hurt them was now going to heal them.

  “Is the door locked?” she whispered into the kiss.

  “Yes,” he promised, even as he didn't care. She mattered more, and he’d been part of a group of men who humiliated her. If someone came in and saw him accosting his wife, he’d have earned that embarrassment.

  Screw the job.

  She mattered more.

  This was paramount.

  Her hands wandered, finding the buckle to his leather belt. When it was free, her fingers found their way into his pants.

  Ethan moaned.

  This never got old. Her chilly fingers were causing havoc, and he didn't doubt she knew it.

  “Lyzee, my love,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I broke us before I even had the chance to know you. I was so wrong. I was horrible to you, and I’ll never forgive myself for breaking a part of you.”

  Her heart skipped.

  Elizabeth’s pulse thundered.

  Ethan’s words touched her.

  In his whispered words of love, she heard the remorse just below the surface. The love was also there, and she couldn’t hate him. She loved him more than her own ego.

  “I forgive you. I need you, Ethan. Make the pain go away. Please.”

  As she stroked him in a room that saw so much sadness, she was his only focus. His hands wandered across her body, across the baby she carried, and beneath her shirt. There, he found softness, lushness, and the woman he loved.

  Elizabeth turned, pressing him to the wall. Pulling away from the kiss, she dropped to her knees. She desperately wanted to taste him. As soon as her mouth closed over the tip of his erection, Ethan moaned.

  She took him deep, working the man she loved into a frenzy.

  His body shook.

  He begged for more.

  Her name was on his lips.

  With each stroke of mouth and hand, Elizabeth patched Ethan’s damaged heart back up, knowing he would do the same for her with his touch.

  In that moment, she found her strength.

  It wasn’t in her.

  It was in the men she loved.

  They were her source.

  As long as she had them, she was unbreakable.

  The harder she worked him, the more she wanted. As his legs shook, there was no doubt that he was close to the edge. Yet, he endured for her.

  It appeared that she needed to do this.

  His wife wanted to get lost in the pleasure, so Ethan hung on. It wasn’t easy, but still he struggled to keep his head above the pleasure.

  When she gently squeezed him, Ethan had to beg for reprieve. “Baby, please,” he hissed, his voice filled with heat and lust.

  She set him free. “I need you.”

  He wouldn’t hold back. Pulling Elizabeth to her feet, he began tugging at her belt buckle. As soon as it was open, he was pushing her jeans down her legs until she was free. As soon as she pulled her boots from the tangle of jean material, he picked her up.

  As her back was pressed to the wall, and her legs wrapped around his waist, he had to find his way home. Roughly, Ethan tugged her panties aside to bury himself in her body.

  “Oh, God!” she shouted, grateful for the soundproofing in that room.

  He buried himself to his balls.

  It was pure bliss.

  Then he began moving. With each stroke, his breath was labored, his heart was pounding, and he washed away the shame of what he’d done.

  In that mating, he found forgiveness.

  Elizabeth’s hands found his hair. She tugged it free, tossing the hair tie across the room. “Mine,” she whispered, right before finding his mouth with her own.

  Ethan shook as her body devoured him whole.

  As she broke the kiss, she stared into his eyes. “Make me cum,” she begged.

  He punished her lower body, driving himself into her over and over again. He wanted to join her in release, but he knew he couldn’t.

  This was his penance.

  He owed her this and so much more.

  While she’d never ask for it, he was more than willing to suffer until the pleasure consumed her. Only then would he seek his own release.

  Her hands wandered across his shirt covered chest, until her palm rested over his heart.

  It was her sign of love.

  It was a moment of salvation.

  When he drove himself into her body, she exploded in orgasm. Her gasp of pleasure made him harder, but he still held on to control.

  “More,” he whispered, forcing himself past the tightening of her body around his. He wanted this never to end, and he planned to make her scream hi
s name at least once more.

  As they continued their mating, their eyes met.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  Ethan had never loved before her. His heart had always been a sucking void, swallowing everything around him but never giving back—until her.

  Now he knew what love was, and he couldn’t lose it. He’d never survive his existence without the woman before him. She was his all.

  “I love you, Lyzee. I’m sorry I hurt us.”

  She found his mouth as he slid in and out of her body. The wet sound filled the room, turning them both on.

  “So close,” he whispered. “Come with me,” he begged, praying she was close enough to the edge. When his fingers found that tight bundle of nerves, he flicked his fingers over them as he had her spread wide and pressed to the wall.

  She shouted in release, taking him over the edge and into the deliciousness of pleasure.

  Together, they fell.

  As one.

  As a couple.

  As a strong unit.

  The room spun around them as they both struggled to catch their breath. Slowly, Ethan dropped to his knees, keeping his wife trapped between him and the wall, as she remained impaled on his erection.

  They were both silent.

  Neither spoke.

  “If you hate me, I won’t blame you,” he finally said, keeping his face buried in her throat.

  “If I hated you, I’d blame me,” she replied. “That’s not the woman I am today. Back then, I did hate all of you, but I’ve changed too. I’m not the same person, and that we can love each other, after everything that happened is proof of that. Love heals, Ethan. It forgives, and it fortifies. We’re stronger because of it. We’re center, and that matters.”

  He relaxed.

  His whole body was released of the tension.

  Elizabeth lifted his face so they were nose to nose. “It takes a big man to admit when he was wrong.”

  “I hurt you. Had I known…I wish I could go back and erase it all, Elizabeth. I wish to God that I could turn back time so I could make it right.”

  “I know you would have.”

  “If I could go back, I would in a heartbeat. I hurt myself in this too. My stubbornness and callousness damaged me too. I would have ditched my partner for you. I would have found love earlier. I suffered for my choices. The coldness ruled my life, and I paid for it. I lost ten years with you. We could have had more kids. We could have found Callen sooner. My ego hurt you, but it hurt me too.”