“Beautiful, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, Callen. None of this is even close to being okay.”
He pulled her into his lap, and she curled into him. The scent of his cologne and the feel of his strength offered her peace. As his large hand covered his child growing in her womb, his touch soothed the jagged edges.
“Sweetheart, you’re going to make yourself sick again. I know what you saw horrified you, but you have to think of our son.”
She stared at him. “Horrified? Do you think that even comes close? I want to destroy everything around me. I want to go into that cabin and burn it to the ground. Horrified isn’t the word, Callen,” she said, pulling from his body.
“Disgusted?”
She paced, trying to stay calm. Her heart was pounding, and she could feel the flush rushing up her body. Their unborn child began reacting as her body was stressed to the max.
“Angry. I’m so damn angry!”
He stood, crossing to her. “What can I do to help you calm down? Do you want to box? Trash a hotel room? What?”
“I want you to tell me you’re angry too, and that you’re not swallowing this for me and Ethan. You’re too calm, Callen, and that’s scary. One of the things I love most about you is that you don’t hide your emotions. You share, and now it feels like you’re bottling it up.”
He lifted her chin. “Look into my eyes, Elizabeth. Do I look angry?”
She stared into the warmth. Elizabeth loved his deep chocolate brown eyes. They sent shivers down her spine. “No.”
“I’m tired. I’m fed up, and I’m irritated, but I’m not angry. I can’t explain it. I’m beyond it. I feel like this is a turning point for me. If I dare to go back there, I won’t get free. I did the self-loathing, and I did the pity party. I don’t want to live like that, but I understand this is hurting you.”
“Callen.”
He stopped her by kissing her softly on the mouth. The tenderness was the only way he could prove to her that he wasn’t angry.
He was simply being strong for his wife, his children, and his brother. This was who he wanted to be. Callen didn't want to be that abused, broken soul who screwed shit up. He wanted to be happy.
He needed that.
He deserved it.
Elizabeth fell into the kiss. It was warm, and it healed her. She’d never forget those horrible images, but Callen chose to give her something more to make it less brutal.
He was giving her love.
Sliding his hands into her hair, his mouth made love to hers. It plumbed the depths with gentle caresses that warmed them both. The lip lock helped her forget, and for that, she was eternally grateful.
Her arms went around his neck, and they stood there joined as one. When his hands slipped beneath her shirt, stroking her flesh, shivers crisscrossed her body.
Callen was undoing her.
“I want to make love to my wife,” he whispered. “I want to feel alive with you. Let that go and join me. Help me move forward,” he whispered, knowing she’d give him anything he asked.
“Yes,” she replied, still clinging to him.
Callen swept her off her feet.
Carrying her into the bedroom of the hotel suite, he placed her carefully on her feet. Elizabeth felt like precious glass, cherished, and protected.
“I love you. I don’t tell you enough, but I do.”
Her fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and she undid them. As Callen waited, her hands stroked his flesh. There was her name, the fox, and her face on his side. The ink told the tale.
There was the before.
And there was the after.
She finally got it. Callen was asking her to divide it in two parts—their past, which had its rocky moments, and their future, which had nothing but love and promise.
“I love you too, Callen James. I understand now. I get it. You need us to let it go so we can all heal.”
His eyes filled with emotion. “I do, Lyzee. I need my wife to see me as I am now, not then. I need you and Ethan to grow with me, not stay stagnant. I don’t know what’s coming in our future, but I know I need you by my side.”
She pushed his shirt from his shoulders. His body beneath it made her heart skip. She loved him more than anything. Only the two men in her life would ever own her heart.
They were the two keys to the lock.
“Make love to me, Callen. Put your hands all over me,” she begged.
He could do that.
He struggled with the buttons on her shirt, but somehow, he finally got them undone. When she stood there in her jeans, bra, and growing belly, his heart was pierced with love.
Here was his woman.
His wife.
The mother of his child.
Dropping to his knees, he kissed across her belly. When his mouth came to rest against the child they’d made, he whispered words of adoration to his son.
“I love you too. I’m blessed to be given another son.”
Her heart flipped. It always did when the two big strong men in her life did something so sweet.
Tugging her pants down, she stepped free of them. Callen ran his fingers down her leg just to feel her skin. It was always so soft. “I love touching you.”
“Feel free,” she murmured, tugging the hair tie free from the warm brown strands of his hair.
Callen stood and pushed his jeans from his body. Next were his boxers. He was hard and needed his woman’s touch. When she stroked him with gentle fingertips, it set the mood for their lovemaking.
He was going to take his time.
Scooping her up, he carried her to the bed. As he crawled on his knees, Callen gently placed her in the center of the bed. Staring down at his wife, he was overwhelmed with love. “You steal my breath when I look at you. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Elizabeth, but I’m so blessed.”
“You were born, Callen. That’s what you did to deserve me. That’s all it took. From the minute Wyler made you, our fate was sealed. You were meant to be mine.”
It made his heart quake. Her words turned him upside down and inside out. She never saw him as anything less than worthy, and that helped him heal.
“You’re the reason I’m strong. You make me want to be a better man, a worthy husband, and a good father. You bring that out in me, Elizabeth. You’re the key to my heart.”
She tugged him down.
Callen placed his body alongside hers to make love to his woman. As his hands wandered, she drove him wild with dizzying kisses that heated his blood.
“Lyzee,” he whispered.
She didn't stop. Her mouth stole his breath, as she slid her silky leg up his body.
His fingers slid across the panties that hid the treasure he craved. While she kissed him senseless, he tugged them down. The hitch in her breath told the tale.
She wanted him.
That miracle always astounded him.
Pulling free from her mouth, he trailed down her body, across his child, and to the wetness that he craved to taste. Tugging the black silk down, he freed her.
His erection throbbed at what was there waiting for him. The need welled up, and he wanted to take, but instead, Callen opted to give.
He wanted to share what lived in him.
He found her with the tip of his tongue, and he drove her to delirium. With each lick, stroke, and lap, she shook.
This was bliss.
This was home.
Getting lost in her body was the best thing ever.
As he drove Elizabeth up and over, quickly forcing her into the first orgasm, she shouted his name. It sounded like heaven to his ears.
He was home.
She was his salvation—whether she knew it or not.
“More,” she whispered, burying her hands in his hair. She held on as he gave all he had. His tongue swirled across that sensitive spot, sending shivers down her spine.
Her legs shook.
She craved more.
Callen held no
thing back. As she writhed beneath his mouth, he could feel the heat building in his body. He couldn’t wait to slide into the wet warmth.
It called to him.
She crested again, the need still not satiated. Callen lit her aflame with love and heat. When she came, he slowly slid up her body, stealing a kiss.
“I could do that all day,” he whispered, as she breathed heavily. “It never gets old.”
Elizabeth rolled with him, forcing him to his back. She wanted to feel him buried in her body more than she wanted to breathe. She wanted him to fill all the voids that this case had created.
As he lay there, on his back, he stared up at his angel. She was radiant. Her hair fell around her face, her breasts were lush and full, and then there was his child.
For that alone, he could weep.
As she straddled his hips, rubbing her body against his, he moaned. This was his favorite part.
She was going to ride him.
Callen’s hands went to her hips. As she got him into position, he was helpless but to watch. The slide down was always the most erotic thing for him. He could remember when they first came together.
That one moment stole his thoughts.
It still did, countless times later.
“Ready?” she asked, running her fingers over the chiseled bones in his cheek.
He nodded. “Yes!”
She took her time, working him into her body. She was tight and wet.
Callen wanted to cum from that alone. As she sheathed all of him, his breath quickened.
“This never gets old.”
She laughed. “I’m getting old.”
“You’re getting perfect.”
Elizabeth braced her hands on his chest and began moving. She loved him because of his heart, and she cherished him because he never saw her less than perfect.
Then she got it.
She’d seen him as broken, and that cheated him. From that moment out, she’d do what he did. Find perfection in the visibly flawed. They had their moments of faltering, but Callen always saw the good in it.
She wanted to be like him.
Elizabeth knew she had a lot to learn, and Callen would teach her.
As she rode, his face said it all. The slow pace was killing him.
“Angel,” he begged as she slowed down. “Shit! Don’t stop.”
She rode his body, getting lost in the sexiness of his husky words. Callen was very expressive in bed, and she loved that. Elizabeth pulled him up so he was sitting. As she bounced in his lap, their mouths met, their child trapped between them.
Callen moaned as she undid him.
The kiss pushed him closer to the edge. As her hands wound into his hair, holding him pressed to her body, she bit his lower lip.
The unexpected kiss of pain pushed him from the edge. All the need in him ruptured out, filling her body. Callen came, and came hard.
Elizabeth fell with him. The pleasure overtook her, pulling her under. As they shook together, wrapped around each other, Callen laid back.
They cuddled much like they always did after sex. It was warm, soothing, and cathartic. It was like that warm sweater on a chilly day, and he loved it.
Elizabeth slowly closed her eyes, knowing she’d be safe in his arms. As he held her, she slowly drifted into sleep.
Callen watched her succumb to exhaustion. With gentle fingers, he stoked the hairs from her cheek.
“I love you. I always will.”
She mumbled back.
He simply smiled.
Callen rediscovered his peace.
Ethan found them in bed a short time later. Keeping his voice down, he glanced at his watch. “We need to get her fed.”
Callen knew he was right.
He couldn’t recall her eating at all. They’d been going nonstop all day.
“We should wake her,” he said.
Ethan stopped him.
“Don’t. Elizabeth needs to rest. While she’s asleep, we’ll swing over to ‘Bubba’s’. Dean liked to drink there. They’re open now, and we can ask around.”
Callen stared at him. “We’re leaving her here? Alone?” he asked.
Ethan scribbled a note on paper and placed her gun beside it. They were in a hotel, so she should be safe.
He hoped.
It was a risk, but they needed to worry about her health. As of late, Elizabeth looked more and more pale.
Blackhawk was worried.
“Yes. In this case, I think it’s best for her to get some sleep. She can skin me later for making the choice.”
Callen slid his arm and hair out from beneath her body as Ethan covered her with a blanket.
“We’ll bring dinner back. She’ll like that.”
He could deal with that. “Works for me.”
The less she was out in the open, the better. Callen was worried too, but more about the killer taking another shot. Pulling on his clothes, he leaned down to give their woman a kiss.
“Ready?” Ethan asked.
Callen could see the tension just beneath the surface. “Yeah, let’s go.”
They headed out.
Callen knew there was another storm brewing. His normally calm brother was anything but…
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
It didn't take long to find his home. With a little digging, a few personnel records, and some luck, it all fell into place.
What wasn’t expected was the little gem that was also discovered. Just the basic surveillance gave it away.
The Blackhawks had sold their home and moved a few doors down.
How convenient.
After the media had plastered it all over the news, they ran for the hills, and no one could find the new place.
Well, that was until that very moment.
Doctor Leonard had given them up. When he walked over with his wife in tow, the well-kept secret was revealed. The armed agents and Native man gave it away.
Pay dirt!
The Blackhawk’s rat hole was uncovered, and they didn't have a safe place to hide.
This made it a million times easier. The Blackhawks were no longer safe.
Their cozy little nest had been discovered.
This made it entertaining.
More importantly…
This made it easy.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Bubba’s Bar
Ethan hated this place.
Not just the bar, but the surrounding reservation too.
In fact, he hated everything about this case. It pissed him off to no end. When his family was targeted, it put fear in his heart. He couldn’t protect them, and that scared the shit out of him. The thought of losing them, and not being able to stop the killer, made Ethan feel like he was less of a man.
It pissed him off to no end.
How did you stop someone who left behind no clues?
How did you trust a ghost who was yanking your chain?
It was hard to swallow.
To make it worse, as they headed toward the bar, where Callen had first encountered his abuser, his brother was quiet.
“Cal?”
“What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I am, but I was waiting for you to start this conversation. I knew it would happen sooner or later.”
Ethan didn't know what to say. “I’m sorry.”
Callen glanced over. “For?”
“For resenting you as a child. When I first found out about Dad cheating, I was angry. For a while, I blamed you.”
Callen listened.
“Now I blame me for not keeping you safe. I feel like it was my fault that Dad didn’t try to find you. I feel like I stood between you and a decent life with people who loved you. I’m sorry, Cal. I’m so damn sorry.”
Callen recalled what Doctor Gaines had told him. Everyone mourned in a different way, and Ethan being angry was part of his process. He needed to let his brother get it off his chest.
> “I want to destroy something.”
He touched his brother’s arm. “Ethan, you have to let this go. You can’t carry this. We didn't create this. We’re just players in the game. Our past happened, and we can’t be held responsible.”
“I feel responsible. I feel like I failed you.”
“The only one who failed me was Charlene. She was supposed to protect me. I appreciate how you’ve always been the big brother, but you have to stop. It’s making it harder for me, not easier.”
He glanced over. “What?”
“I need to stumble in order to get back up. I have to be tested to make sure I’m able to handle anything. I love you, but stop babying me with your sympathy. I don’t want you to feel sorry. I just want you to love me. That’s it.”
He laughed. “I do love you. I love you more than I ever thought I could. I don’t love you like a brother anymore, Callen. It’s progressed beyond that. I love you like a spouse. When I see you, I think…soulmates.”
He listened.
“It feels…I don’t know...”
“You think I’m sexy…” Callen tried to make him laugh.
“Shut up.”
Callen snorted. “I’m kidding. I know what you mean. You love me.”
“I do. Somewhere along the line, I stopped thinking of you as my half-sibling. You’re more than that. As for you being sexy, uh, yeah, you’re not my type. I like outsiders.”
Callen patted him on the arm. “That’s good to know. If I catch you checking me out…”
“Shoot me if that happens,” he teased.
Callen relaxed.
“I guess what I’m trying to get you to understand, Cal, is this. If Elizabeth was hurt or damaged, what would you do?” Ethan asked.
He didn't have to think about it. Callen went with his gut. “I’d protect and heal her. Isn’t that what a husband does?”
He waited until his brother got it.
“Oh, I see. You’re just doing what you would for her.”
“I’m not feeling protective because you’re my blood. I’m feeling protective because you’re my choice. You and Elizabeth are mine to love, just like I’m yours and hers. I don’t pity you over this. I love you. There’s a big difference.”
Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14) Page 42